The Friend Scheme

by Cale Dietrich

  It’s not a big deal to move the plans by an hour. If I keep telling myself that, hopefully I’ll start believing it.

  I open up my messages to Cassidy. My hand is shaking.

  Hey, I was just wondering if we could we make it five thirty? I have plans at seven.

  I’m so nervous. I know I shouldn’t be stressed over something so minor, but I can’t help it.

  On top of that, I’m anxious to tell her that I have plans. Because then she’s sure to ask me what those plans are, which means I’m going to have to lie to her. I can’t tell her I’m hanging out with Jason Donovan, after all.

  I hate lying.

  It’s messy, and I’m really not good at it. Keeping a secret by omission, like what I normally do with my sexuality, and how I feel about my family, is one thing. Actual lying is way harder. I feel like I need to create this whole elaborate story in my head about what I’m doing if she asks. I need to make sure it all fits, like it’s something I could actually be doing.

  My phone buzzes.

  Look at you, busy man! 5:30 actually works great for me. See you then, rock star

  I find myself smiling.

  I think I might be making another legit friend.

  I hear a car pull into the driveway. Eddie stands up and runs over to the door. That’ll be Luke and Dad. Still, I peer out through the glass to make sure. I was right, it’s Luke in his car. Dad is sitting beside him.

  I go outside. It’s cloudy today, and the sky is gray.

  Dad makes his way up to me. He’s walking on his own, but every step is clearly labored. Sweat has broken out on his brow, and his teeth are clenched.

  “Hey,” I say.

  “Grab my bags,” he says. “They’re in the trunk.”

  I don’t think he’s being mean, I think every word hurts, so he doesn’t want to waste the energy on manners.

  “Sure.”

  I jog down and grab his suitcase. I heave it out and bring it inside. It’s really heavy, but I’m not about to complain. No way, no sir. I wheel the suitcase to Dad’s room. His room is the biggest in the house and is really nice. The walls are cream colored, and the furniture is all designer.

  Dad lowers himself down onto the bed, wincing in pain. Through his shirt, I can see a white pad over his stomach. Luke moves the covers aside and then puts them over his legs. They look really thin. I’m surprised Dad is letting Luke take care of him like this. I’m sure if I tried it, he’d lose his shit at me.

  “Did you make dinner?” he asks.

  “I did,” I say. “It should be ready soon, if you want some.”

  “I’m not up for it tonight, but we’ll eat as a family tomorrow. I need to rest. Thank you, though.”

  “No problem,” I say, trying to ignore how my chest is aching. I can’t help but feel like it’s just because I made it. “Take all the time you need.”

  * * *

  Whoever recommended this place to Cassidy was right. The dumplings are amazing.

  The restaurant is getting hyped up online, so it’s crowded. We even needed to wait for ten minutes, which Cassidy assured me is the sign that a place is worth our time. She said she tries to not eat anywhere she can just walk into.

  I lift one of the pork-and-chives dumplings, dip it in soy sauce, and take a bite. It’s so damn good. I could live off these.

  “It’s official: I love this place,” says Cassidy.

  “Me too,” I say, my mouth full. I swallow, and wish I’d taken the two seconds to do that before I spoke. That would’ve been way cooler.

  She takes another. “So what are you doing after? I have no plans. Pathetic, I know.”

  “Story of my life.”

  She laughs, which makes me smile. I’m glad she thinks that I was joking.

  “Um,” I say. “I’m going to my friend Lev’s place. We’re just going to be huge nerds and play games all night.”

  She scoffs. “And here I was, thinking you were cool.”

  “I’m surprised you thought that for even a second.”

  She laughs. “I’m just messing with you. I like games, too.” She sighs. “But okay, I guess I’ll let you two have your nerdy guys’ night.” Her eyes light up. “Wait, are you and Lev, like…” She makes a pretty obscene gesture with her fingers.

  I laugh.

  “God no,” I say. “We’re just friends. He’s straight.”

  “You’re friends with a straight guy? In this economy?”

  “I know, right?” I guess I’m out to her. I actually love this.

  “Do you have pictures of him?” she asks.

  “Yeah, I do,” I say. I take out my phone, and show her Lev’s Facebook. At least we actually are Facebook friends. I don’t know what I would’ve done if I’d said I was hanging out with someone else.

  She swipes through his photos.

  “Oh wow, he’s cute. Nerds with muscles are such a weak spot of mine.” She narrows her eyes. “Are you sure this is a just-friends thing for you? Straight guys are off-limits, in case nobody has told you that. I’ve seen too many of my gay friends get crushed by them. I don’t want to see that happen to you, too.”

  “Yeah, I know. He’s not my type, anyway.”

  That’s not true. He totally is, at least physically, but I want to change the subject.

  “And what is?” she asks.

  I’ve never talked about this. With anyone.

  I glance across at a waiter. He’s got black hair, cut neatly, and has scruff on his cheeks. I noticed him, like, the second I walked in here. There’s also a tattoo poking out from under his shirt, running down his beefy forearm. I tilt my head toward him.

  She grins. “Oh, honey. You, me, and the rest of the male-loving world like that. Trust me, they’re a bad idea. Fun, for sure, but definitely a bad idea.”

  “Noted.”

  We have a few more dumplings.

  “Hey,” I say. “Can I ask you something?”

  She nods. The restaurant is so loud, I figure we can talk, as long as I keep my voice down.

  “What do you think of the Friend Scheme?”

  “The plan of the Donovans’, you mean?”

  I nod.

  “I guess … I dunno. A part of me thinks it’s risky, but also it’s kind of genius? Even now that it’s been found out. Like, I have this theory that the whole point of it might’ve been to freak us out.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well, ever since we found out about it, everyone has been super paranoid. And your dad has closed ranks, Mom told me. Some of the big meetings have changed to be Millers only, and Mom’s been left out of some stuff. She says she gets it, but I can tell she’s pretty upset. If you look at it that way, it’s genius.”

  Ever since he was shot, meetings have been taking place in Dad’s hospital room instead of at Jimmy’s. It’s not ideal, but Dad paid the hospital a lot of money in order to ensure privacy. I haven’t been invited to these meetings, but Luke’s been to a few.

  “Right.”

  That actually does make sense.

  If we’re fractured, not as strong as we used to be. Maybe that was a big part of their plan, and we played right into it?

  I should talk to Dad about this as soon as possible.

  But after I’ve watched Jason play baseball. I’m not going to miss that for anything.

  “What are you thinking?” she asks.

  “Just that you might be sort of brilliant.”

  “Sort of? I’m offended, Matt.”

  “Okay, you’re totally brilliant.”

  “Thanks,” she says, and she grabs another dumpling with her chopsticks. “I know.”

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  My phone lights up.

  It’s a text from Jason.

  You’re still coming to the game, right?

  Sure am.

  I’m in my car, in the lot of the restaurant where I had dinner with Cassidy. In front of me is a huge tropical mural, with a few red birds and butterflies on it. I re
st my head against the headrest and smile. Hanging out with her has made me feel so damn good. I wonder if she knows how great it is for me to talk about being attracted to guys around her, and for her to not even care.

  It’s new for me. I love it. Plus, she’s cool and smart and funny. Being friends with her would be a good thing.

  My phone buzzes again.

  Sweet! See you then.

  I should enjoy this for a second. I know things aren’t perfect, but this a big deal for me. I’m making friends. I’m maybe even becoming more than friends with Jason, which I never would’ve expected even only a few weeks ago. I picture the way his eyes light up when he smiles, and his laugh, which is sort of goofy. It’s like he lets slip who he really is for a second, because he can’t control it.

  I lock my phone and turn on the engine. A pop song starts playing on the radio, and I don’t even change it.

  What can I say? Things are good.

  After a short drive I reach the baseball field, which is behind Jason’s school. The bleachers are already crowded. There are so many people here.

  When I get to the bleachers, I see Naomi and Bri sitting in the back row. Naomi waves at me with both arms. I jog up the metal steps. When I get there, I sit down beside her. The bleachers are crammed, so everyone has to touch (eek), and a bunch of them are holding up signs in Jason’s school colors, which are yellow and blue. A Nicki Minaj song is playing over the speakers.

  “So,” says Bri. “You and Jase. What’s happening there?”

  “Wow,” says Naomi. “You couldn’t even give him two seconds to sit down? Jesus.”

  “I mean, why not just cut to the chase? So, Matt. Tell us everything.”

  “Um, we’re friends.”

  “Just friends?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Oh. That’s disappointing.”

  “Why?” I ask.

  “I thought you might be dating, or at least hooking up. I’ve got to say, you and him together would be, like, the cutest. I would just die.”

  I swallow hard. “Sorry to disappoint.”

  So what if we’ve kissed a few times? They don’t need to know that.

  Plus, even though we did that, we are still just friends. I actually hate that saying, though. Just friends. Like it’s a consolation prize. If he wanted to stop making out and stay friends, I’d do it. At least that way we’d avoid total disaster, given our families.

  “Don’t be,” she says. “I’m not gonna lie, I’m a little bummed, but it’s fine. At least he’s finally made a good guy friend. He needed one.”

  “Agreed,” says Naomi. “He’s always sort of been the odd one out of the guys. We love him so much, but he’s never really clicked with them. He says he’s fine, but he’s the only out dude on the team. That must be hard.”

  “Yeah,” says Bri. “Wallace says he avoids most of the team when they’re not playing. Like he thinks he’s too good for them. Wallace, you don’t know him, but he’s the captain of the team. Anyway, he’s actually worried Jason thinks he’s homophobic, even though he’s not. Has he talked to you about that?”

  I shake my head.

  She rolls her eyes. “Typical boys. You should talk to him about how he feels, because he has a lot going on. He’s under so much pressure, you have no idea.”

  “Because he’s gay?”

  “Nah, I think he’s fine with that. His issue is his parents. My moms are so on board with me being whatever I want to be, but his mom and dad, well, let’s just put it this way: He needs to be the best at everything in order for them to be happy.”

  “For real?”

  “It’s bad, dude. His mom especially, she’s sort of a nightmare. He gets perfect grades and is so polite and nice and stuff to everyone, but she acts like he’s still not enough. I know it hurts him.”

  Bri swats her leg.

  “What?” says Naomi.

  “I bet Jase doesn’t want you spilling all his family drama to a new friend.”

  “Oh, right. Forget I said anything, Matt.”

  “Done. It’s not a total surprise, though. He’s talked about it a little, but I didn’t know it was that bad.”

  “Yeah, it really is. So I think having a new friend is good for him. It might make him chill out a little, finally. He’s definitely changed since you started hanging out. How’d you meet, by the way?”

  Luckily, I have a lie prepared.

  “He’s friends with a mutual friend of mine, and we just clicked. We both like the same games.” It’s another lie I have prepared. “But wait. What do you mean about him changing?”

  “He seems happier, I guess? And a lot less high-strung. He’s always been our anxious little stress ball, and now he’s way less stress-y about everything. I think that’s because of you. Something has definitely changed in him. It’s got to be you.”

  “Wow, um … That’s awesome.”

  The thought of making Jason happy makes me freaking giddy.

  One team runs out onto the field, getting into their positions. I scan the field and spot Jason. He’s pitching. I find myself smiling. Look at that guy! He’s so cute. I must say, he looks great in his uniform. It’s blue and white, and the pants are really tight. It’d be pretty fun to make out with him while he’s wearing it. I wonder if he’d be down for that.

  The crowd goes silent, and the game begins.

  Jason pitches …

  It’s a strike!

  Jason pitches again and gets another strike.

  Then another. He pumps his fist.

  The batter walks away, his shoulders hunched.

  I won’t lie, baseball isn’t my favorite thing to watch. And it goes on forever. But I don’t mind watching Jason play.

  I have to keep reminding myself: We’re just friends. I have the situation under control.

  “Hey,” I say to Naomi, who is beside me.

  “Yeah?”

  “Does Jason have Instagram?”

  I already have my phone out. I’m so ready for this.

  “Wait, you don’t follow him?”

  I shake my head.

  “Weird. I mean, of course he does.”

  “Can you show me?”

  She pulls out her phone, and loads Instagram. I do the same.

  “It’s Jason_todd11,” she says.

  Jason Todd.

  That’s his alias?

  That’s also the name of a superhero: Red Hood. He used to be Robin, until he went down a dark path.

  I search for it.

  And there it is.

  Jason’s Instagram. The name might be fake, but it’s still his.

  This is a treasure. I want to add him, but I’m a little nervous. Even though both our profiles use fake names, who I follow is public. Not that I seriously think anyone is looking at me that closely.

  “Are you going to add him?” asks Bri.

  “Yeah,” I say, and then I lock my phone and slide it back into my pocket. “Maybe later, though.”

  “Oh, I know this game,” she says. “You want him to add you first, don’t you?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Power move. I respect that.”

  I laugh, and then we bump knuckles.

  After the first inning, the teams both file off the field.

  Bri stands up and waves. “Wallace! Over here!”

  Wallace jogs up the bleachers. Jason follows behind him, along with another dude. When they reach us, Jason runs a hand through his hair, pushing it back up.

  It’s wet with sweat, and messy, in a way that makes him look a little more rugged than normal.

  He’s also breathing heavy, and there’s this energized look in his eyes.

  I can’t stop looking at him.

  “What are you doing here?” asks Naomi. “You’re not supposed to leave the dugout.”

  “I know,” says Wallace. “But I had to see my girl.”

  Wallace kisses Bri on the lips, which makes Naomi cringe, then make a sign of the cross. Then she turns to the remainin
g two.

  “What’s your excuse?” she asks. “You could get detention for this, you know?”

  They both shrug, but Jason looks at me. The other dude raises a hand at Naomi, and I swear she blushes so hard I can feel the heat radiating from her face. It’s all sorts of adorable. I kind of want to push the two of them together and be like, “Now kiss.”

  Maybe I’m just in a romantic mood at the moment. Who knows?

  “Hey, man,” says Wallace, offering his hand. “I’m Wallace.”

  “Matt,” I say as we shake.

  “He’s Jason’s friend,” says Bri. “The new one.”

  She gives him a very pointed look. Wallace glances at Jason, his mouth hanging open slightly. I wonder if he’s thinking that we’re together.

  I don’t hate that thought.

  Oh wow.

  That’s terrifying. I can’t date Jason, I know that. But still, now I’m picturing it. Us, in sweats, cuddling as we watch TV and eat junk food. Showering together. Kissing, like, all the time. Him calling me his boyfriend when we meet someone new.

  The truth is, I love all of it.

  “I’m Scott, by the way,” says the third dude.

  “Hi. Matt, obviously.”

  I shake his hand and start blushing. It dawns on me that I love feeling like one of the group. I smile and notice Jason is looking at me in, like, the softest way. I’m blushing, and he doesn’t seem to care.

  “Hey,” he says, tilting his head up. “Having fun?”

  “Yeah! Like, so much! Dude, you’re amazing at this.”

  “Shucks. I’m glad you think so. I feel like I’ve been playing better than normal today. I think it might be because of you.”

  He looks at me, then glances away, hiding his expression.

  “Guys, we better go before Coach notices,” says Scott. “And thanks for coming, Naomi. Um. I’m glad you could make it, I know you’re really busy and stuff.”

  Seriously.

  They’re both such awkward cinnamon rolls.

  I already ship them so hard.

  “Sure thing!” says Naomi. “I love watching people prove their masculinity via hitting tiny balls.”

  “Me too!” says Bri.

  “You guys are the worst,” says Scott with a smile. “Even you, new guy.”

  With that, the three turn and jog down the steps.