East Side Academy
Page 31
"Shut the fuck up!" I yell at him. "I didn't…" I shouldn't have to explain myself. I shouldn't have to comment on what I've done with anyone. It's none of their business, but teens love to gossip. They love hearing who's with who, who's having sex, who's not, it's ridiculous. "I'm not fuckin' explaining myself to you."
“Don’t get yourself too worked up, Arya,” Henri taunts. “We both know you have a temper that you don’t know how to control.”
“Only when I’m dealing with fuckin’ pricks like you,” I say.
“I bet Mia will be happy to hear that she has to leave this school,” Henri says. “Nice, pretty, smart girl. It’s a shame she has a psycho for a sister.”
“I bet she’ll be glad to get away from a rapist like you,” I say, and I know I am pushing him further to the edge.
“Call me that one more time Arya and I’ll beat that snarky attitude out of you,” Henri says. “I’m not scared of hitting a girl when she needs some sense slapped into her.”
“What other word would you like me to use, Henri?” I ask. “Because I can think of no better word to describe you.”
“How about I describe you, Arya? Do you know what guys say about you?” Henri says and I just stare at him, waiting for his response. “They call you a prude, Arya. They call you a tease. That you think you’re too good for any guy. That you purposely make yourself look as desirable as possible, just so you can reject guys. That it’s a game to you. That you’re asking for it. They say that some guy just needs to bend you over and fuck you so that you can get over yourself. Knock you down a couple of pegs.” I try to keep a straight face. I’m either a slut or a prude. That’s what it’s like for girls. You will be judged no matter what you do.
“What is wrong with you?” I say. “Why would you say that?”
“Because you are trying to ruin my life, Arya!” he yells at me. “Because you think I’m something I’m not. I have never forced a girl to do something against her will.”
“Just because you think you didn’t force her, doesn’t mean you didn’t,” I say. “But I am done with this conversation. I’m done trying to make a rapist realize why his actions were wrong.”
He comes up to me. “I warned you, Arya,” Henri says and then he slaps me across the face. I stand up to him, but as I do, all three of the men previously in the office come back.
“Ms. Secord?” Mr. Filch says, sitting back at his desk. “Is there something you want to share with us?”
I look at all of them, saving my last glance for Mr. Young. He never takes his eyes off me, as if daring me to defy him. How do you beat someone like him? Someone that will stop at nothing to keep himself on top.
"I want to explain what really happened between Henri and me." I take a deep breath. "I had a disagreement with Henri," I say, feeling the burn of Henri's slap on my face. "I thought I could ruin his reputation by falsely accusing him of being a rapist. I know it was wrong."
"This is very serious, Ms. Secord," Mr. Filch says. "Do you realize the harm you could have caused to not only Henri but this school?"
“I know, Mr. Filch,” I say. “I think in the best interests of everyone, it would be best if my sister and I transferred to a different school.”
***
No POV – Before Going into the Office
“Please call Arya Secord to my office,” Mr. Filch says to Ms. Pince.
“Of course,” Ms. Pince says, and then over the P.A. system says, “Arya Secord to the principal’s office please.”
"Sometimes I hate this job," Mr. Filch says. "I have Mr. Young in my office now claiming that this girl spray-painted 'RAPIST' on his son's locker."
“Is it true?” Ms. Pince asks.
“Mr. Carrow confirmed the story. Even has picture proof,” Mr. Filch says. “I’ll have to see what she says.”
***
“Ms. Pince, Arthur, thank you both for joining me.” Mr. Filch says to Ms. Pince and the janitor who had cleaned Henri’s locker earlier day. Mr. Carrow stays in the corner of the office.
"As you know, Arya Secord spray-painted 'RAPIST' on Henri Young's locker," Mr. Filch says. "She did it out of anger towards him. Arya and her sister are going to transfer to East Side Academy. Today is their last day at West Side Academy. This is a delicate matter. We do not want it spreading around the school that a girl falsely accused a guy here of rape, so please, keep this information to yourself. I mean it, you can tell no one. If anyone wants to know why the two of them left, say that Arya was having issues with one or more students and decided to switch schools. Her sister Mia left because it only made sense to keep the two of them together. Understood?" Mr. Filch looks between the janitor and Ms. Pince. They both nod, but they are both thinking different things. Ms. Pince is thinking how much nicer it will be without that girl around, flipping her hair, smiling, attracting stares from any guy that comes near her. The janitor is thinking that a girl who has been hurt is being thrown to the curb to maintain the image of the prestigious West Side Academy.
Chapter 44 – Smoke Clears
“You'll never be alone / Even when your world explodes / 'Cause after all the smoke clears / I will be right here” – Smoke Clears, Andy Grammer
Arya
James just holds me at the end of it. Never once interrupting me throughout the story. I didn't tell James the part about Lexi, he doesn't need to know about that. "I'm so sorry, Arya," James says.
“It’s not your fault, James,” I say. “You have nothing to be sorry for. Henri is the one who is the jerk. Him and his father.”
“He forced you to stay quiet,” James says.
“This is why I couldn’t tell you, James,” I say. “This is the mess I was trying to keep you out of. I was supposed to keep a low profile, that was my plan. Survive the next three semesters and then it wouldn’t matter once I graduated. I didn’t account for one of your jealous admirers to expose me.”
“I will talk to Lisa,” James says. “I hated what she did to you, but I am no better by just abandoning you.”
“I already forgave you, James,” I say. “And now that you know everything, there is nothing else for one of your other admirers to expose.”
"You make it sound like there's a lot," James says.
"Have you seen you?" I say, looking straight at James and he just smiles at me. "Every girl at this school is jealous of me. I'm dating this super good-looking, soccer star that is smart, kind, and sometimes funny."
“Well I think I’ve had more than my fair share of guys trying to get with you to last a lifetime,” James says.
I laugh at James and grab hold of his arm and lean against him again.
“Thank you, James,” I say. “But if Mr. Quirrel ever propositions me, you’ll have to just accept it.” And then I wink at him.
“I’ve had to hear girls fawning over him ever since Grade 9,” James says. “Now you too?”
“Don’t worry, James,” I say. “He’s my unrealistic crush. You are my everything.” I stare at him. “I do have a question though. Why did you come up to Henri and me today?” I ask.
“Because I hate that guy,” James says. “He’s a jerk and I don’t trust him. When I saw him talking to you, I couldn’t help myself. Your story just makes him worse than I ever thought. What he did to your sister is unforgivable and I can’t forgive him for putting his hands on you,” James says as he softly touches my throat where Henri’s hand once was.
“Mia is stronger than I could ever be,” I say. “She’s the one that wanted me to tell you everything. She was willing to have me expose what happened to her to you so that we could be together again. She said as happy as I seemed at West Side, I was never happier than when I was with you. I should have trusted you with everything.”
“No, Arya,” James says. “I should have known you wouldn’t have kept something from me if you didn’t have a reason.”
“We’ve only known each other for a couple of months, James,” I say. “It’s not unreasonable to have doubts.�
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“But I feel like I have known you forever,” James says. “You were always meant to come into my life.”
“The one good thing that came out of this horrific mess is that I got to meet you,” I say.
“Arya,” James says. “If you don’t want to talk about it, I understand, but that day in the hallway…” James looks at me to see if he can continue and I just nod. “I had no idea, I only found out yesterday. I tried to get to you, I went to your house…”
“I know you didn’t know,” I say. “I didn’t want you to know.”
“I’m so sorry, Arya. If I hadn’t left you…”
“Don’t James,” I say, putting a hand to his chest. “Don’t you dare think that you are in any way responsible for what happened.”
“I’ll kill him, Arya,” James says.
“Please don’t,” I say. “I already have one rapist that hates me, I don’t need another.”
“Arya, he can’t get away with…”
“James,” I say, “can we please handle one thing at a time? Please?” Handle Henri first. He’s the most dangerous and now that he knows that James knows the truth about him, he could go crying to his dad about it. But I know he won’t. Henri was reluctant to expose me at West Side and he wasn’t the one to call his father. If anything, Henri prefers to deal with problems himself.
“Okay,” James says. “But I’m not forgetting it. He’s a scumbag.” James looks at me. I know he wants to ask about what happened. Not because he wants to know, but so he can direct his anger to the truth instead of what he thinks might have happened. He wants a clear picture so he can hate Eric even more, even if the picture will horrify him.
“Nothing happened, James,” I assure him.
“You don’t have to tell me anything,” James says. “Only if you think it will help.”
The first time telling someone about your assault is the worst. I've already told Diana. The truth is already out there. There is someone that already knows the truth about what happened in that bathroom. "He groped me in the hallway. He's the type of guy that enjoys it if the girl doesn't want it. Told me that no one would believe the girl who cried rape. That he saw it as an opportunity. I stepped on his foot and then I kneed him between the legs and that's when he pushed me in the bathroom." I stop because this is where it gets hard, this is where he took it too far and people let him. I can't look at James to say the rest.
“Arya…”
"He pushed me against the wall, he grabbed my hair and then undid his pants. He forced me to kneel in front of him. He threatened to smash my head against the wall if I didn't do it." It's like someone else is talking. I feel out of my body, like it's not me.
“He’s dead, Arya. I’m going to kill him.”
I turn to James. “That’s the scene the footballers walked in on. That’s as far as it went.”
James just holds me, saying nothing.
“The worst part,” I say, “is that those people in the hallway that saw him groping me, that saw him push me in there, they were just going to let it happen.”
“Arya…”
“Did they think I deserved it? Did they think it’s not their problem or not their responsibility?” I say. “Were they scared? Scared of the repercussions? Did they just assume someone else would do something? Did they just look at each other like idiots, afraid to step in?”
“I don’t know, Arya,” James says. “But there is no excuse.”
"I was scared, James," I say. "Really scared. I didn't know how it was going to end. I was going to let him smash my head against the wall. This is what it's like, isn't it? This is what so many girls and women have felt like. This is what my sister felt like. Powerless. Afraid. Humiliated. And I'm one of the lucky ones because someone stepped in! That doesn't usually happen!"
"No one deserves this to happen to them," James says. "I am so sorry that girls have to go through this. I mean, I know it's not just girls, but they are usually the targets."
“It’s the school, James,” I say. “They don’t teach us that it’s not okay to do this. They tell us not to do drugs and not to drink and drive, but they don’t talk about sex. They don’t talk about consent. James, if I’m getting sexually harassed and assaulted, if my sister has been raped, imagine what else has happened that we don’t know about. This whole idea of not talking about sex, of just talking about abstinence is bullshit and it’s hurting people.”
“I know.” He rubs my shoulder soothingly.
“And I’m a terrible person for thinking that it could never happen to me,” I say. “It can happen to anyone. And it’s not until it happens to you that you truly understand why people keep silent about this. It’s dehumanizing. It’s someone invading your soul. Taking a piece of it that you can never get back. And they expect you to talk about it, explain it in detail? All the while knowing that there is a boy that’s going to tell you he didn’t think he was doing anything wrong. That you are ruining his life. That he doesn’t deserve this. A boy that will try and convince you that it’s you that has the problem.” I pause. “A boy that you have to see every day.”
“I will never truly understand what it’s like for you, Arya,” James says. “But I will do everything I can to make sure another girl doesn’t have to go through what you or your sister did.”
“Thanks, James. I think that’s enough for one day,” I say, leaning against him.
“Whatever you need, Arya. Whatever you want, I’ll give it to you,” he says.
“Just you, James,” I say. “Right now, I just want you.” He kisses me softly.
“Always, Arya.” And then James just looks out on the water.
“We’ve been here a while,” I say. “Don’t you have work?”
James looks at his watch. “We’ve got a bit of time.”
“James,” I say, knowing he is lying.
“Okay, we have no time,” James says.“But I’m going to be late anyway so I might as well enjoy it.”
***
James
"Late again," I hear my uncle's voice as I walk into his home office. I was hoping that maybe he would be out on-site somewhere.
"Sorry, Uncle Terry," I say, walking into the office.
“Let me guess,” Uncle Terry says. “Your soccer game ran late?”
"You could say that," I say.
Uncle Terry stands up, coming up to me to stand in front of me. “You do remember when I said three strikes and you’re out? I don’t care if you’re my nephew, I can’t be seen making special privileges for you. That wouldn’t be fair to the other guys, right?”
“Right,” I agree. He looks into my eyes, searching for a truth he is not getting from me.
“You were with her, weren’t you?” Uncle Terry says.
"I don't know what you are talking about," I say. I have never mentioned Arya to my uncle, knowing that he would just see her as a distraction, but I'd be stupid to think he didn't figure out about her. Between my mom and my aunt, he must have found out.
"You know perfectly well what I'm talking about," he says. "Don't think I haven't noticed you moping about here and on-site the past couple of weeks, making mistakes that I had to fix!"
"I'm sorry, Uncle Terry," I say.
“So what is it?” he asks. “Did she bat her eyelashes at you and now you are back together?”
“No, it’s not like that…” I start, but he doesn’t let me explain.
“What happens when she hurts you again?” he says. “Are you going to be moping around again? Don’t you see she’s just a distraction?”
"She makes me happy," I say.
“She’s not worth losing this job over,” Uncle Terry says.
"I was my best when we were together," I say. "I'm a better person when I'm with her."
“You are living in a fantasy, boy,” Uncle Terry says. “Hard work and dedication are how you are going to get out of this town. Not getting all cozy with some girl that’s just going to break your heart. It’s not worth it.
She’s rich, James. She’s not from our world. She’ll turn her back on you as soon as something better comes along.” Uncle Terry speaks as if he’s experienced this in his life. Did he make sacrifices for a girl that ended up turning her back on him?
“I will do whatever work you ask of me,” I say. “I won’t be late again. I’ll do whatever you say.”
"But you won't let her go?" Uncle Terry says and I just stare at him which only confirms his question. "Change into your construction gear. The boys are working late today on one of our sites, and you are going to help them." I nod, already knowing that he has phoned ahead and told the boys to give me a hard time. I can do it. I can handle it. Uncle Terry can throw anything he wants at me. I'll be his hardest worker. I'll be a star student. But I will never let Arya get away from me ever again.
***
Arya
James came back that night after finishing work and rang the doorbell.
"I'll get it," I say, jumping off the couch, leaving Mia in front of the TV. When I open the door, he's just standing there, hands in his pockets, looking at my mom's flowers by the doorstep. "James?" I say and he looks up at me and smiles. "Shouldn't you be at home?"
"I wanted to see you again," James says. He looks tired, like he's had a rough night.
“Are you okay?” I ask him, reaching a hand to touch his cheek.
"I am now," James says, holding onto my wrist. "Just a long night at work. I also wanted to see Mia." I'm surprised, but I shouldn't be. James of all people, with two younger sisters of his own, knows what it's like to look after and protect them. And he must know the pain of watching them hurt. You do everything in your power to take the hurt from them, even if it means putting it on yourself. I let him in the house, and he walks into the living room where Mia is sitting on her own.
“I think this is the episode, Arya!” Mia says, looking at the TV and not realizing another person is in the room.
"Mia," I say, and it grabs her attention, and she sees that James is beside me.