“You want to be with me?” Estelle’s eyes were wide as she glanced at him.
He nearly tumbled into those silver pools. “We shall both find out.” Sebastian looked at his half-brother. “I agree with Alice. It’s quite high-handed of you to force things.”
“I believe I have a knack.” Manchester shrugged. “And it’s a duke’s prerogative. Who knows, it might give you a new perspective on life, Wimsley.”
Sebastian snorted. “Very well.” He offered his crooked arm to Estelle. “Shall we dine and get this over with?” When was the last time he’d ever done the pretty merely to spend time with a woman in any capacity that wouldn’t end with a tupping?
Never, that’s when, human. His wolf chuffed in his mind. Don’t think for one moment that this is akin to courting this female.
Ha, we do not court. Yet, the idea appealed more than it should. Or, you don’t, but perhaps I might, depending upon how the morning goes.
Drat the duke for forcing his hand. Sebastian also cursed himself for a bacon-brained idiot for warming more and more to the notion.
Perhaps it hadn’t been foolish of him to make that Christmastide wish after all.
Estelle’s stomach refused to settle as she sat beside Sebastian high on the perch of his phaeton—or rather the duke’s fancy vehicle with polished black-lacquer sides and yellow-spoked wheels. Flutters tickled her insides from the novelty or his company, she couldn’t determine which.
Then she forgot about the wild fluctuation of her nerves, for the city was beautiful in the late morning light. Did anyone else think that bare tree branches lifted up to the sky with their dusting of white snow pretty? And the rabbit fur that lined the interior of her borrowed muff from the countess kept her hands wonderfully warm.
Humans had the most unusual garments.
As Sebastian worked the reins and guided the horse—a gorgeous dappled gray mare—with a masterful hand through Hyde Park, Estelle frowned.
“Why are we going here?” Hadn’t she already seen the park albeit in the dark?
“Don’t you want to examine the place where I found you by daylight?” he asked with a faint smirk on his handsome lips.
A shiver ran down her spine. “Not particularly. It reminds me of what I fled from and what still awaits.”
“Surrey?” Sebastian frowned, and in profile he appeared stern. She didn’t like it when he did that. Why wouldn’t he smile more often?
“No.” The oddest sensation of wanting to retch assailed her. Estelle pressed a hand to her belly. This man deserved to know the truth, but would he still wish to remain in her company once he did?
“I’m afraid you aren’t making sense.” When he parked the carriage beneath a stand of oak trees, the dried leaves that still clung to the branches rasping in the gentle breeze, he glanced at her. “The spot where I found you is just past these trees. Shall we?”
“Please, stay here.” Trembling, she laid a hand on his arm. She met his questioning gaze. “Sebastian, I must tell you the truth.”
He merely flicked up an eyebrow.
“I am not from Surrey.”
“So I suspected.” His expression remained impassive.
Estelle forced a swallow to alleviate the dryness of her throat. “The duchess concocted the story to explain my presence in London so no one would question my sudden, unorthodox appearance.”
“I understand that, but why did you lie to me?” Anger flared in his amber eyes; his face resembled a thunderstorm. “Was I not worth the truth, even after I rescued you?”
Her heart plummeted into her stomach at the disappointment in his tone. “Of course you were.” She worried her bottom lip with her teeth. “I didn’t know how to tell you, especially last night when I was weak and had only just figured out how to conduct myself as a human.”
“What the devil does that mean?” Both his eyebrows soared upward.
She glanced over his shoulder at the spot where she’d fallen. “I am… different. Not what you might expect or even like,” another swallow, “from a human or a female.” Suddenly, she wanted him to think the best of her.
Sebastian grunted. “How different could you be?” He ran his gaze up and down her person. “You look all right. Pretty, in fact. That gown suits you.”
“Oh.” Warmth burned her cheeks. How bizarre she did that often in his company. “When I told you I fell, that was the truth.”
“How?”
Estelle shoved her hand back inside the muff and twisted her fingers together. “From the heavens.” She turned toward him on the bench, her knee crashing into his. Tendrils of heat moved up her leg from the point of contact. “I am a star, Sebastian. I was given a brief reprieve to delay an arranged marriage for a week, to live among humans to better understand how to inspire them when I shine.”
Slowly, his eyes rounded. “You aren’t human.” It wasn’t a question.
“No. I assumed this form temporarily to assimilate with your people.”
Disbelief shadowed his eyes. “Show me.”
“I…” Estelle sighed. “My powers are limited while I’m on Earth, so far away from the source.” The more she utilized them, the less she would have to maintain her human form, but for him and to win his trust, she would do this.
She scooted to the far side of the bench away from him and concentrated on lifting the human façade if only for a few seconds. Tingles washed over her, and then her skin glowed, shimmered with a pearlescent sheen, just as she’d done as a star, but to a lesser degree.
As Sebastian stared at her, wonder reflected in his eyes and his jaw slack with awe, Estelle’s body cooled and she resumed her human form. She drooped, her strength sapped and she clutched the front edge of the phaeton. “I apologize. It is quite exhausting to do that.”
“How extraordinary,” he breathed as he continued to gawk at her. “You… you glimmered, exactly like that shooting star I saw.” When she slumped and listed toward him on the bench, he caught her against his chest and wrapped an arm around her waist. “Do you want to return to Manchester’s townhouse?”
Oh, how warm he was and how lovely his rich voice sounded in his ear. “No.” For one heart-stopping second, she snuggled into his form, but then as quickly sat up and stared at him when a certain awareness of him as a man washed over her. “I’d like to stay with you. It takes away the chill.” Of knowing she’d have to return to the heavens soon. “I… don’t ever wish to leave here.”
His grin, albeit tiny, took away the lines of strain in his face. Then it faded. “Don’t.”
“I must, for I’m not allowed to linger. I have to go back. To him.” Her chest tightened as more foreign feelings buffeted her.
“You don’t love this man, this star I assume he is.” Sebastian’s eyes were wild, primal, almost possessive.
It excited her, but she didn’t know why. “No, I do not love him.” She shivered. “I fear him. He craves power and will use my light to enhance his own.”
He grabbed one of her hands. “You don’t need to do this, Estelle.” His voice was gruff with emotion she couldn’t read.
“How can I not? I don’t have the power to remain or to say no.” Something akin to panic circled through insides.
“If you were to fall in love with a human while you’re here, wouldn’t that change everything?”
How brave and dear he was. She shook her head, looked away unable to bear the anger and hopelessness in his eyes. “I don’t think it would matter. I don’t belong here, and am on loan so to speak.”
“But it might.” He squeezed her fingers, recalling her attention.
“Perhaps, but there is no time for all of that.” The intensity of his gaze bore into hers. She knew an answering something in that place deep down inside that she thought was a soul. The want to cry pushed into her throat. Why did she have such a connection with this man? “You must accept the truth of our reality.”
“Bah. I have fought against reality most of my life.” Sebastian shook
his head and held onto her hand all the harder. “I won’t let his happen. I’ll protect you for as long as you need me.”
She rested her free hand on his chest while the muff fell to the floorboards. “Why? We know nothing of each other.” Yet that pull between them strengthened. Never had she experienced anything like it between herself and a star.
“It’s wrong that you should do anything against your will.” He squeezed her hand again. “You should wed a man-star-being who will care for you, love you exclusively for yourself.”
She inched closer to him. “Do you know of love if you believe so fervently in it?” What had happened in his life to bring him to this pass?
“I… I don’t.” He dropped his gaze. “It’s something that has eluded me for various reasons.”
Would he reveal his own secret? “Are you afraid of falling in love, Sebastian? It cannot be such a bad thing if humans chase it to distraction.”
“I’m afraid of being the only one in the relationship to fall.” He lifted his eyes and sadness shadowed those depths.
“I know what it’s like to fall; sometimes it’s the only way to change your fate,” she said quietly.
He scowled. “You said your fate won’t change no matter that you’re here.”
The longer she remained in his company, the more she wanted freedom in her life to choose, and she wanted to help this mysterious, hurting man. “We can but try. Isn’t a human trait persistence?”
“Touché.” Sebastian’s expression cleared, yet worry lurked at the backs of his eyes. “We should continue on.”
Did all human males have such exquisite features, such sensuous lips? She studied the planes of his face, his cheekbones, his jawline, the stylish cut of his hair. Estelle sighed. A feeling of longing remained. “I’m anxious to experience everything.” And she didn’t want to leave him. The thought of doing so brought tears to her eyes. “I don’t wish to forget my time here.”
But would memories be enough to sustain her throughout the rest of her life?
CHAPTER SIX
December 22, 1816
Estelle marveled at the glittering, colorful ballroom and the couples swirling over the dancefloor therein. As everything was gilded with candlelight, people and objects were muted and soft, almost as if a happy veneer had drifted over them all.
Perhaps that was exactly what humankind needed, a filter that let them see how the world could be if only they’d let it.
Then she stopped pondering upon the human condition, for there was so much to see and experience on this night. From the festive colors of the ladies’ gowns to the evergreen boughs and swags that decorated the rooms to the numerous scents teasing her nose—perfume, candlewax, pomade, perspiring bodies—everywhere she turned there was something new to observe.
How did they all manage attending society events every night? She, herself, had only been to one last night and she was still recovering from the exhaustion it brought.
Of course, showing a bit of her star power to Sebastian during the carriage ride could attribute to her fatigue, that and the strain of being in his company itself. She had the feeling that he held himself back, didn’t show who he truly was, but why? Did he not trust her as she did him?
It would do her no favors to think about him right now. In an effort to distract, Estelle sent her gaze around the ballroom again. From her perch on a delicate chair with a light green cushion of crushed velvet, she took in the pageantry of the affair. The hosts for the evening—the Earl and Countess of Coventry—were full of smiles. Apparently he was one of the Duke of Manchester’s close contemporaries, and she was his old new bride, according to Alice. The story was confusing. Coventry and his wife had just announced the fact they were expecting a baby in the spring. Something about it being their second child. Though Estelle had difficulty piecing together the hurried tale, the couple seemed joyous and content with each other and the news.
Still, she remained curious about relationships between various humans, especially when they resulted in offspring. And yesterday, Alice had let her bend over the cradle and coo at her precious baby, and a different sort of yearning had bloomed inside her. What would it be like to experience that for herself? Not that she would; stars didn’t reproduce like humans did. When the Supreme Celestial Leader wished for more stars to shine in the heavens, he simply called more into being from his own power.
The differences between stars and humans were startling, and every day that went by, she mourned more and more the fact she had to leave this interesting world.
Notes of tinkling laughter from a passing couple pulled her out of her musings and back to the present. Oh, how she wished to dance again. Last night, she’d enjoyed one set with the duke, but there hadn’t been an opportunity for more, due to introductions and dinner and socializing, and when she’d thought Sebastian might lead her out for a dance, he’d not only avoided her but then he’d also vanished before the evening’s entertainment had concluded. She’d gone home with the duchess.
Did he find her reality as a star so distasteful that he couldn’t stomach being in her company? Quick, hot tears sprang to her eyes. Why had she thought he would understand? Estelle shifted on the chair and the rasp of her skirting echoed in the space near a grouping of potted ferns she’d taken refuge behind. Not even her glorious borrowed gown of the evening could cheer her, and it was gorgeous. Gold satin with a white net overlay that glittered with tiny golden glass beads and sequins. It was almost as if she shone with star power, but not quite. The bodice managed to show an indecent amount of her décolletage, but Alice had deemed it the height of fashion.
Not that it matters, for no one of consequence will see me in it.
Drooping with conflicting emotions she had no idea how to handle, she caught the duchess’ eye across the room. When Alice waved, Estelle waved back, but she wasn’t as cheerful as she’d been when she’d first stepped foot into the room. Just when she’d resigned herself to a long, boring evening with nothing but the ferns to talk with, her lungs stilled. Sebastian had entered the ballroom from a side door.
Oh, good heavens.
She could scarcely draw much-needed breath, for every particle of her being lay riveted on him. Wearing the same black evening clothes as all the other men, complete with a snow-white cravat, he set himself apart with a maroon waistcoat embroidered with silver birds and pears. His hair was meticulously combed and parted to one side, his dress shoes gleaming with a recent shine. Estelle’s heart beat faster. Though the story the duchess put forth made her accepted by the haute ton, she shrank from the attention it had brought, which was why she currently hid behind the potted ferns.
The only man she wished would notice her was Sebastian, for she felt comfortable in his presence, but would he avoid her tonight as he had yesterday?
There was no time to wonder why or take refuge in her riotous tumble of thoughts. In a twinkling, their gazes met across the crowded dance floor, his intense even at that distance.
And then he started toward her.
Panic crashed with excitement and all went flying through her veins in a heated tide as he moved, prowled was a more apt description, with steady, stealthy steps animalistic, a predator of the night, and try as she might to stand, Estelle remained frozen to her chair like a rabbit as he quickly and efficiently closed the distance.
Oh dear. She went both hot and cold at the same time when he offered a rather primal grin. How did humans reconcile to their many reactions and emotions?
When he finally reached her location, his grin widened, and she had the distinct sensation that he might like to eat her up. “Why are you hidden away by yourself? By all accounts, this ball is a raging success. Many members of the ton have attended.”
“I’m rather overwhelmed from all the male interest,” she confessed in a barely-there whisper as she looked up at him. It was unfair that a man could look so devastatingly handsome and that it played havoc in her lower belly, where a ballet of butterflies curr
ently danced.
“I see.” Some of the light died from his eyes and his grin faded. Then, he offered a gloved hand, determination lining his expression. “No matter. I believe I owe you a dance, and now is as good a time as any.” The rich baritone of his voice sent chills down her spine as well as stirred up the butterflies.
“Yes.” Slowly, she fit her fingers into his palm. Sinuous tendrils of heat wound up her arm to her elbow. “I haven’t seen you since tea this afternoon.”
“My apologies. I was abed longer than usual.” Sebastian pulled her into a standing position and then he raised her hand to his lips and kissed the middle knuckle. “Shall we?”
She nodded but couldn’t let the subject die. “Last night, you left early with the duke. Why?” It was on the tip of her tongue to ask if she’d disgusted him with her truth, but her courage failed her.
Unfortunately, Sebastian didn’t answer her. Instead, he led her onto the dance floor and found an empty space. He then encouraged her into the proper position the set would require. “This dance is a waltz. I believe the duchess will play her harp while one of my brother’s friends sings accompaniment.”
“Alice plays the harp? How fascinating.” Then the bulk of his words sank into her addled brain. Panic sliced through Estelle’s chest. She sucked in a breath. “I don’t know the steps.” Quickly, she scanned her mind for the information, hoping against hope that the celestial leader had included it. Yes, there it was, but the steps were complicated. How would she learn the dance in time to not make a fool of herself?
Sebastian squeezed her hand, recalling her attention. “Concentrate on me. I won’t let you fall.”
An irreverent laugh bubbled in her throat. She swallowed the need to give into hysteria. “Oh, but haven’t I already fallen?” she asked and sent a frantic glance about the room. None of the other couples paid her any mind.
A tiny smile quirked one corner of his lips. He held her gaze with an intensity that again stole her breath and had her awash in foreign emotions. “If I had been in the park sooner, I might have caught you.”
Transformed By A Christmas Star: A Lords of the Night novella Page 6
