It's Complicated (Bigelow Bay Book 2)

by Jakki Frances

  Heading into the entry hall Greg eased himself onto the floor beside the boxes that Helene had brought from his truck the previous week. She’d intended to move them to the camper when she left that day but they’d ended up going for a drive to try his knee out in the truck and that night when they’d returned she’d just hopped out of the truck and into the camper. They’d both forgotten all about the boxes.

  Apparently, they were his problem now. Pulling the tape off the top Greg was curious as to what they contained; Books. Frowning he pulled books and more books from the boxes, each different, all genres, children’s, fiction, non-fiction, school curriculum texts, autobiographies of notable people……and not one written by ‘Helene Doe’. Sitting surrounded by books Greg was confused, what the hell was he supposed to do with all these? Why would Helene have so many different types and age ranges of books delivered? Pulling an empty box towards him he scooped up a couple of books, about to deposit them back he noticed an envelope remained in the bottom of the box. His throat dried as his eyes ran quickly over the words. The books had been provided by Helene’s book supplier/publisher; apparently, they’d agreed to provide books every month of a varying age range, fiction and non-fiction plus educational texts, sent directly to the address Helene had provided for The Bigelow Bay Family Shelter.

  Helene was right, Greg thought. He was an asshole. He’d been nasty and treated her like crap, he’d acted like these boxes were full of drugs or something when they were donations she’d arranged for the shelter. And not just any donations but books for the education centre, the place that meant the most to him, the place that held the desks and bookcases he’d made himself but were almost bare. Yep, he was an ass!

  CHAPTER 16

  Frank found Greg sitting on the hallway floor surrounded by books when he let himself in the house.

  “Do I even want to know?” He asked regarding his friend at his feet. “What’s with the books, more my style than yours man?” Frank quipped knowing his friend had never been much of a reader.

  “Help me up, I’m stuck!” Greg stuck his hand out and indicated to his stiff leg, once he’d gotten down he’d found his knee was not yet strong or manoeuvrable enough to get him back up off the floor.

  Hauling Greg to his feet, Frank carried a 6 pack of beer into the kitchen as Greg hobbled stiffly behind him.

  “So what’s going on?” Frank asked taking a swig as he perched on a kitchen stool. “Helene came around to talk to Kasey earlier and pretty much as soon as she left Kasey flew out of the house cursing your name. When she got home again she completely fell apart, she’s now holed up in bed with the cat, won’t come out. She hasn’t been like this in a long time man, what did you do? All she’d say was that I needed to come here and teach you how to deal with shit!”

  Greg sighed. Typical! No Frank when Kasey was tearing shreds off him but she sends around now to give him another talking to.

  “I don’t know man, Kasey was ranting about Helene leaving town and it being my fault and I have to fix it. FIX WHAT? I don’t get it. Then she was going on about some woman named Anne Shirley and Helene and her being the same and that Helene didn’t want what I think she wants and some other stuff…… I don’t know. Maybe you can make sense of it?”

  Frank chuckled, “ok so Anne Shirley isn’t some woman, she’s a book character so it figures you have no clue about that. I can tell you a bit and then you have to work out the rest yourself. Better make yourself comfortable, here’s what I know.”

  Taking another drink Frank sat a moment, sorting things in his mind. “So, let’s start with Helene and Kasey. They’ve become really good friends did you know that?”

  Greg shook his head.

  “Apparently they’ve been getting together for coffee during your physio sessions, either in the hospital café or at the bakery if Kasey isn’t working. Now you know Kasey doesn’t do well with strangers or people in general, so the fact that she made friends with Helene so easily says something I think. She’s always happy and chatty and full of book news and girl gossipy stuff on the days she and Helene catch up. She’s even been arranging her meal break when she’s at work so she doesn’t miss your appointment time. She’s really needed a good girlfriend. She knew of Helene even before you were injured, Kasey is a book freak and loves a good happily ever after romance – Helene Doe is one of her favourite authors.”

  Greg nodded as Frank paused to take a drink. It made sense that Kasey would be a fan of Helene’s books, he vaguely remembered her mentioning weeks ago that fans liked to interact with her, and most fans googled her to learn more.

  ”One of the first things Kasey and I found we had in common was we both use Google to learn anything we need to know.”

  Greg frowned, unsure where Frank was going with this. Why was his and Kasey’s Google searches part of his Helene problems?

  “Kasey likes to know more about her favourite authors, not stalker stuff just whatever general information there is…… so before they even met at the hospital, Kasey knew about Helene.”

  Greg shrugged “I’ve done an online search Frank and that’s part of the problem. There is nothing to find. I checked all sorts of agencies and government departments used all the tricks that hacker we busted a few years back taught us about. Helene Doe doesn’t exist; well she does but only for the last 15 years. She doesn’t have a birth certificate, no school records, and no medical insurance records until recently. Even doing a general date of birth search brings up a bunch of people, none of whom are her. She’s not who she claims to be and I told her that.”

  Frank rolled his eyes and grabbed another beer.

  “You’re an idiot you know that? You’re missing the point of this whole conversation. Did Helene ever talk to you about being an author, or her writing or anything?”

  “Well yeah, she said she writes and I know that she was writing here a lot of the time. Had her rainbow of post-its spread across the table, it drove me nuts. Then I’d drive her nuts by organising them.” Greg chuckled quietly at the memory of Helene’s reaction to him colour coordinating and arranging her post-its. “Apparently she likes meeting fans and stuff and that most of them google her and know all about her. Says they know her whole life.”

  Frank shook his head, Greg just wasn’t getting it.

  “So you did an online search for Helene to try and prove or disprove that she was dishonest? Pulled out all the fancy tricks?” Greg nodded. “Did you Google her?”

  Greg looked at Frank like he was insane. “Did I what? Why would I google her, there was nothing to find and I looked everywhere that she should exist, she doesn’t.”

  “Greg, sometimes the official channels miss the real story. Anyway, she told you how to learn about her you just chose not to listen. I bet she told you other stuff too and you just don’t hear her.”

  Greg popped the lid off another bottle and leaned forward on the counter.

  “Frank the only time she ever talked about herself was when I asked her a pointed question. She never just talked. Never mentioned her family, where she grew up, why she became an author, nothing. She was just not open about herself.”

  “Were you Greg?” Frank inspected the beer in his hands as his words sunk in. “Did you ever tell Helene anything about yourself? Does she know about your life, why you’re in the police, why you help the shelter…….. Why you’re so clean and organised? Why should she be open about her life if you’re not willing to do the same?”

  Frank took a deep breath, considering his next words carefully.

  “You know, when Kasey and I were first getting to know each other I knew nothing about her. I’m talking way back when she was in the hospital after she was assaulted at work. I had a lot of time to kill so I talked to her while she slept, and then again when she was awake. I told her about my life, my love of books, music, my family, my house, anything and everything. When she was living in the granny flat she still barely spoke of her past, but we talked about the present…..a lot
and I got to know her. I never once asked her about anything that had been in her life before the day we met, why should she tell me anything? Eventually, she got to know me, to trust me and because I’d opened up to her, she eventually opened up to me.”

  Frank had a point Greg thought. Frank knew about Greg’s life but it had taken years of friendship for them to get to know each other and for Greg to open up. He’d never told Helene anything about himself, hell she only knew his last name because when he was still on crutches she’d brought the post in from the mailbox.

  Glancing at his watch Frank stood and put his empty bottles in the recycling tub.

  “On that note, I need to go check on my girl. Think about what I’ve said Greg and remember Google is wise, Google knows all. Google is full of wormholes……follow them until you find where Helene came from. The only advice I can give you is don’t concentrate on her name or birthday, find her……. And then let her know you. And be quick about it or Kasey will never forgive you.”

  With that Frank let himself out of the house, leaving Greg leaning on the counter deep in thought.

  CHAPTER 17

  Greg sat in the kitchen until the light faded, thoughts running through his mind. Apparently, Helene had told him more than he realised, if Frank and Kasey were correct; but what? He ran through their weeks together, she’d been fun to spend time with he’d enjoyed having her around. Admittedly he’d never really asked her a whole lot about herself or her life, she knew his favourite food was steak he had no clue what hers was. She knew he volunteered at the shelter and that the kids’ education meant a lot to him, he knew nothing of her education or even why she wrote romance. She’d told him they weren’t Fabio bodice rippers, what other kinds of romance novels were there? She was a fan of Fast & Furious but not rom coms, maybe? Greg sighed with frustration, he’d spent so many years avoiding any sort of connection with women, he never asked them about themselves, a lot of times he didn’t even know their name……. It had just never occurred to him to get to know Helene. Making friends with her hadn’t been part of the plan, neither had fucking her, but now he had and despite his rules dictating he steer clear, everything inside him begged to keep her close.

  Grabbing his laptop Greg slouched down on the couch and opened the Google window. Rolling his eyes at the simplicity of Frank’s advice Greg typed ‘HELENE DOE’ into the search bar and hit enter…… time for the idiots guide to cyberstalking, all his computer skills and ability to search government listings and this is what he resorted to.

  Her name produced pages upon pages of information, fan sites, author pages, book sales, media pages of interviews; the amount of information a simple name search could produce was dizzying. Greg clicked on Helene’s official author website and began reading, then he clicked on a link and another and down the rabbit hole he went. Frank was right, he needed to follow where the rabbit holes lead.

  # # # # #

  Greg stretched as he shut down the computer, checking his watch he was surprised to find it was after midnight. His head spun with information and his empty stomach rolled, was it lack of food that made the nausea rise or his disgust at how he’d treated Helene? Her whole life was laid out on the internet for anyone who cared to look, you just had to know how and Greg now realised why his sophisticated searches hadn’t produced the results Frank’s idiots’ guide to Google had.

  Helene’s first book was written at the same time as she’d first appeared in the world, links had led him through her career with book listings, fan sites and interactions and interviews throughout the years covering new releases and her past….. And then there were the newspaper articles from years before Helene was Helene. It was no wonder that she simply relied on others learning about her themselves. She didn’t have a secret to keep, everything was available for public consumption.

  He’d followed the rabbit holes back to her first book “Helene Doe 23 March ’75???” which she’d co-written with another author. The blurb had been his first hint that there was more to be found and so he continued digging and clicking on links. There was nothing to be found in the years just prior to its publication, and her name yielded nothing. Until he found a vague mention on a newspaper website, not of Helene Doe but JANE DOE. Clicking the link Greg was confronted by a small, grainy out of focus picture of a young woman in what looked like a hospital gown. A missing persons search.

  ‘Jane Doe’ had been found unconscious on a subway train and rushed to a hospital. Lifesaving surgery had been performed and there was now a search on for anyone who recognised the woman….. As she had no memory of who she was. Leaning forward until his face was inches from the screen he inspected the old photograph, the woman appeared to be in her late teens or early 20’s, her hair had been hacked and was sticking out in every direction, her pale face wore a sad smile and dark smudges beneath her eyes. She couldn’t be Helene? Could she?

  Greg had searched the newspaper website for more mentions of this Jane Doe. Similar stories had run here and there over the span of a few years, all calling for information on the woman’s identity, each accompanied by the original grainy photograph in addition to updated shots of a woman who could definitely be a young Helene. The sad eyes slowly gained Helene’s sunny cheeriness and as her face filled out with improved health Greg could find a resemblance.

  Flopping back on his unmade bed Greg scrubbed his face with his hands, his eyes were burning and tired but his mind continued to race. His small conversations with Helene about herself now made a whole lot of sense. The slight pause before she laughed off his comment about the name ‘Jane Doe” being too common for her, why it had been ‘easier’ to buy a vehicle than rent a house; she was a woman without a past, without roots, without an identity. Helene Doe was created 15 years ago, years after Jane Doe had been found. The anger and resentment he’d built up thinking Helene was dishonest turned inward, she was right, he was an asshole. He needed to find Helene, he needed to make this right, he needed to know how Jane became his Helene…… and he needed her to know who he was. That was what really made his heart race, would she accept him despite his past and his treatment of her or would she reject him as he deserved? As he had done to her? If Helene Doe was, in fact, Jane Doe she was stronger and more amazing than he’d ever considered.

  As his eyes succumbed to fatigue Greg’s mind registered one more small thought that brought sadness, the realisation that his sheets no longer held the wonderful scent of her.

  CHAPTER 18

  For the past two days, Greg had driven laps around town, up and down every road even those too small for the camper to fit. He’s passed by the shelter, the aquarium, and the various beachside carparks searching any space large enough to house the multi-coloured RV. Now he was beginning to think he might just be too late, Kasey had warned that Helene was leaving, maybe she already had. The thought shouldn’t bother him as much as it did. He’d never wanted to allow a woman in his life but now the thought of not having Helene around, seeing her smile every day, arranging her post-it’s on his table, watching her ‘seizures to music’ in his kitchen…… he wanted all that and more.

  Stretching his legs as he climbed from his truck Greg winced, his knee was stiff and sore from sitting unused while driving hours each day. A loud howl greeted him as he approached Frank and Kasey’s front door causing Greg to shake his head, he just didn’t understand pet people. Before he even had a chance to ring the bell the door swung open and he was faced with a pale, tired-looking Kasey.

  “Kas, I’m sorry did I wake you? You’re not on nights are you?” The last thing he needed was to give Kasey another reason to be mad at him.

  “No” she croaked her voice raspy and dry. “I’m off; it’s not a good week this week.” Greg paused remembering the last time he’d seen her on a ‘bad week’; she’d been sleeping on the floor.

  “I’m sorry……. I’m really sorry. I need your help, Kasey, please tell me she hasn’t gone. I’ve been looking and looking and I can’t find her an
ywhere, I don’t know where to look anymore.” He swallowed the emotion rising in his throat, this was a feeling he’d never dealt with before and he really didn’t want to now.

  Kasey stood in the doorway in silence. She seemed to be waiting for something he just didn’t know what.

  “Please Kasey, I need to talk to Helene. I need to apologise. I need to tell her stuff, I need to tell her I googled. I promise if she doesn’t want to see me or hear me out I won’t push her, but I need to try…….” Greg’s voice cracked with desperation.

  Taking a breath Kasey swiped the unshed tears from her eyes. “She’ll listen Greg and she’ll forgive you, it’s just who she is. Whether she stays or goes is up to her, all you can do is talk to her. You accused her of being dishonest, you need to be honest with her yourself. If you do that then you and me, we’re ok.”

  Greg’s spirits lifted slightly, Kasey knew where she was, and she hadn’t left yet!

  “She likes to camp in the mountains, there’s a small carpark at the end of a trail that leads to a waterfall she loves. I don’t know exactly where Frank and I haven’t hiked there before but you might. She’s had her camper there a while now, said she was going to hike to the fall once more before she leaves.”