(Mis)Trust

by Sarah Ann Walker

  "Go sit. I'll make you a drink and some popcorn."

  "Thank you."

  "I'm very happy to know you, Saige," Malcolm says again with such intensity, the horror of that night vanishes again when I’m around him.

  "Um, I'm glad you're here, Malcolm," I answer honestly.

  "Me too," he agrees leaning towards me slowly so I don’t panic until he gently kisses my forehead.

  *****

  Waking, I vaguely remember waking in the night to Malcolm moving me a little to get comfortable, telling me Selena would be home late, then telling me to go back to sleep. I also seem to recall using his leg for a pillow with the blankets wrapped around me through the night.

  But that's all I recall from the best night’s sleep I've ever had in my life.

  CHAPTER 20

  Running for my phone a text beeps through.

  'How was your day?'

  'Good. I took Griffin to MacNonalds:) Then Walmart afterward for some new apartment stuff. Thank you for staying last night, I finally had a good night’s sleep.'

  'You're welcome.'

  'I bought myself a bed! And I'm excited to move in tomorrow. Finally.

  'Coincidentally I have tomorrow off so I'll meet you at Selena's mom’s house to help move you in.'

  'Thank you, but we have it covered.'

  'I’ll meet you guys at 7:30. Don't be stubborn.'

  'I’m not. I'm being considerate.'

  'Stubborn.'

  'Considerate. Grrrrr'

  'Don't growl at me. It's hot;) See you tomorrow. Good night.'

  'Thank you for all your help lately. Good night. Grrrrrrrrrrrrr:p'

  'Cheeky. Stubborn. Lass.'

  *****

  "When's your bed arriving?" Selena asks driving the U-Haul because like a smartass, she said she didn’t think I can reach the pedals. Watching Malcolm following behind us from her mom's house, I know she and I couldn't have possibly loaded the truck so quickly without his help again, or even lifted my damn bookcases.

  "The generic sometime between 12 and 6pm. It's okay. We're already halfway done and it's only 9:30, so as long as I pile my book boxes against the corners it should fit."

  "You remember I have to work at 1:00, right? Do you think Malcolm will help you put your bed together?"

  "Probably. He seems like the put furniture together type, doesn't he?"

  Glancing over at me she smirks, "And the sexy type, the growly type, the handsome, sweet, delicious type. The you are soooo lucky type, and the I wish Dave was a little more attentive like Malcolm is type."

  "The FRIEND type."

  "Who would love you faithfully FOREVER type," she adds grabbing my hand when I look at her stunned.

  "Selena... not to be dramatic or like my mum or anything, but I don't think any guy is faithful forever. And even if Malcolm could be we're just friends, and I need a friend right now more than I need a new complication while I get my shit together. Plus, I'm leaving in a few months, so there's no point starting anything with him. And honestly, I don't want Malcolm like that. I need a break from men."

  "I know the timing sucks, but it can't be helped. He's here now, and he's really good, Saige."

  "I know he's good."

  "I don't know where he came from or why he hasn't already been snatched up, but he's here now. And if you just try to trust him a little, I really don't think he'll ever hurt you on purpose."

  "Like Tyler wouldn't have?"

  Glaring at me suddenly when we're at a red light, she snaps, "If you can even compare those two men in the same sentence, you're really fucked in the head. Tyler used you and-"

  "Loved me!" I yell across the loud roar of the engine.

  "Yes, he loved you. But only when it was convenient. And only until he found someone better- in his mind," she adds like that clarification will make this conversation hurt a little less suddenly.

  "I hate you right now," I moan feeling heartbroken and confused, and just shitty.

  "Well, I love you right now. And I want you to move on, with or without Malcolm. I just want you to be funny, snappy, independent, strong little Saige again. I miss her."

  Exhaling, I admit, "Me too."

  "But I do think Malcolm is amazing for you. Annnnnnnd he's really hot," she laughs as I do, effectively exhaling the tension between us.

  *****

  "Is that Dan?" I almost panic when we pull up front of our building.

  "I think so... I guess Malcolm called in reinforcements.” Malcolm was a little extra growly when Selena and I said we could carry my solid wood bookcases to the elevators together.

  Stepping out of the truck, Dan walks towards us with a smile. Handing over a tray of coffee and donuts, I almost laugh at the typical moving breakfast of champions.

  "I'm here," he shakes Selena's hand, "Because my best guy threatened to quit if I didn't show up to help."

  "I didn't threaten to quit- I said I quit when you told me you were too busy to help," Malcolm adds taking a donut from my outstretched hand. "Don't panic, Saige. I quit once a year to keep Dan from becoming THAT boss," he laughs at my expression.

  "He does. The prick," Dan shakes his head walking to the back of the truck. "Can we please get started so he'll come back to work for me?"

  *****

  "Everything hurts," I whine to Selena after we each dump a super heavy books box in the corner. Looking around, my new apartment is somewhat cute with an indented nook for my bed and a breakfast bar to at least separate the kitchen a little from the rest of the room. And for a bachelor apartment it’s not closet tiny, but it'll certainly be cozy once my furniture is in place.

  "We're almost done. And I have to go soon anyway," she looks over at the clock. "At least I got the kitchen, fridge and stove clean, and you did the bathroom, which was a little nasty before."

  "I know. That tub was so gross. Um, will you come by with Griffin after work?"

  "Of course. He's super excited to have you living downstairs. He thinks he has 2 apartments now in this building."

  "Make sure he knows he does, okay? I'm going to miss him snuggling on me every morning. I won't miss his stupid shows, but I'm going to miss his quiet morning voice and his bedhead, and his little hands holding mine in the morning." Realizing how attached I've become to Griffin this past month, I'm sad to let him go. "Maybe you can send him down for morning cartoons sometimes?"

  "We're only 4 floors from each other, Saige. Trust me, Griffin is going to bug the hell out of me to visit you all the time."

  "Okay. Good," I feel a little relieved.

  "The couch?" Dan yells hidden behind it in the doorway.

  "Anywhere on this side of the room. I'll move it later."

  Watching them, Dan and Malcolm just turn it a little and muscle it through the door fairly easily. Dan’s not as strong or large as Malcolm, and you really notice it when they're carrying something together- Dan's side is always lower than Malcolm's.

  "There's only 2 more groups of boxes, so you two can stay here if you want," Malcolm huffs dropping the couch.

  "Um, I'd like to order pizza for you all for lunch. Do you have time?"

  "I don't," Dan says. "This is my last time up."

  "Okay. Another time?"

  "I'd love to. We'll probably see you before Basketball tomorrow night anyway if you're working."

  "I'm working, and I'll comp a dessert for you," I offer to him nodding. "Thank you very much for your help today. I promise to send him back to work tomorrow," I thumb over Malcolm's way.

  "I'd appreciate that," Dan smiles before heading out.

  "I don't have time either. I'll take a raincheck on the pizza but I’ll be back tonight with Griffin," Selena wipes some dirt on her jeans and heads for the door. "I really have to get a shower before work. Are you okay?" She asks a little quieter beside me nodding over at Malcolm leaving the apartment again.

  "I'm fine. Hopefully when you come back tonight I'll have this place looking like a place."

  "K..
. See you later," Selena hugs me and bolts for the elevator through the opened door.

  Calling in a pizza order I realize I have no plates or cutlery because I left it all with Tyler.

  "One more round," Malcolm huffs unloading the boxes from the dolly. "When do you have to return the truck?"

  "Any time before 7 tonight."

  "Good," he says simply and heads back out the door.

  After he brings up the last boxes, Malcolm collapses on the couch groaning. He looks absolutely exhausted and I feel bad that he came to help me move again today.

  "I'm really sorry for-"

  "All the text books? You should be," he glares. "I get that you're a book nerd, but seriously? There's over 20 boxes of damn books."

  "I know. Sorry," I squeak. "I can't throw any books out because I may need them later for case studies or research."

  "I'm teasing, Saige. It's all good, and now I don't have to go to the gym this week," he says actually pumping his suddenly very impressive biceps. "I will have a hard time shooting from the three point line tomorrow at basketball though," he pouts.

  "I have pizza coming. Does that help?"

  "Definitely. Um, I have something for you, but don't fight me, okay? It's a house warming gift or something like that. Please, Saige? It's more for me than for you, okay?"

  "Okay." What could possibly be more for him than me?

  "I got it at cost from one of Dan's suppliers, so it's nothing." Rising from the couch, he actually cracks his back loudly, which sounds really gross, then walks the 30 feet max to my little kitchen for the backpack he carried in earlier. "Remember, No. Big. Deal. And it’s mostly for me. Ah, where's your laptop and phone?"

  "In the box on the stove." What the hell is it I wonder reaching for my phone.

  Grabbing my laptop, Malcolm grins as he walks back to the poorly placed couch staring a few feet from a blank wall and hands me a box the size of a shoe box. Looking, it has only digits on it and a code of some kind. Shaking it gently, he motions to open it.

  "What is it?"

  "Look inside," he sits closer to pull out the rectangle shaped fire alarm I think. "It's an alarm for your apartment. You set it up online, then you can alarm, or shut off the alarm using an app on your phone."

  "Really?" I ask excited.

  "Yeah... We reno'd this guy’s house last year and Dan and I found this alarm for him, bigger, and with more sensors and keypads, but I thought about it last week and bought one for you."

  "How does it work?"

  "Well, you set the alarm when you leave, or online, or by your phone itself. It's hooked up remotely via satellite so you don't need Wi-Fi access. I'll install the keypad beside the door, then you can activate it when you're here or leaving, or even online if you forget. And once you set the alarm, the app button lights up to let you know it’s set. What's really cool is if you're at work and anyone comes in or trips the alarm the app starts flashing red, and after 1 minutes of flashing, a quiet alarms ring and a vibration starts which gets progressively louder until you either turn it off or acknowledge it."

  Listening to Malcolm, I'm so excited and once again so overwhelmed by his kindness. Instead of crying though I hop up on my knees and hug him. Holding him as tightly as I can, I say everything without crying.

  "Thank you so much. This is the most thoughtful gift anyone has ever given me."

  "You're welcome, Saige. You didn't say anything, but I thought you might be a little nervous coming and going alone. Especially at night."

  Pulling away with a smile, I admit, "I am nervous, but I didn't want to keep whining about all my stupid fears and insecurities all the time."

  "I figured," he nods so close to my face I pull back a little and look at the keypad in his hand.

  "This is so cool," I laugh like a kid with a new video game.

  "Can I show you the site online?"

  Handing over my laptop, we wait for Windows to load and google the alarm company. Waiting we go through the prompts for the initial setup and we enter the model code and number. When it's time to enter an email address I do then pause for only one second on the password. Seeing Malcolm turn away, I tell him it's okay to know my password. Actually, I may need him to help me if I screw it up some time, so I tell him my password and other than looking at me intensely for a second or two he nods with a smile.

  Waiting for the app to load on my phone Malcolm continues explaining. "So you can set the main keypad up with 5 different passwords for 5 people, like Selena, and Mike, or-"

  "No. Just Selena. I don't want anyone else having it. Not even Mike."

  "Okay. But you'll be able to see who accesses your apartment if they enter anyway because of their individual code. I agree the fewer with a code the better though."

  "Do you want a code?" I ask barely breathing.

  When Malcolm replies no quickly I'm a little surprised until he explains. "Saige, if I have the code and something ever happened, you'd maybe wonder if I did it, had something to do with it, or put someone up to it. This way, you know I can't hurt you ever because I don’t have access."

  Squeezing his hand, I smile, "I know you wouldn't anyway, Malcolm."

  "Maybe. But now you know I can't. And that matters to me," he breathes so heavily, we both stare and wait until we seem to nod our understanding at the same time.

  "So pick a 4 digit code for yourself," he turns away again as I type.

  "Done."

  "Okay, then I'll set up the keypad by the door. It's doesn't require electricity, not that I couldn't tap into that," he grins. "But its battery operated with a battery life of 6 months, and it gives a warning if the batteries are getting low."

  "This is really amazing. When I move can I take it with me?"

  "Yup. There's a way to change the system activation to acknowledge the location change which corrects your phone as well. Come see," he stands pulling me up by my hand.

  Walking to the door, he holds up the keypad moving a sensor in his fingers close to the door then tells me to turn it on like I'm going out. Looking away when I punch in my 4 digits, within 5 seconds with both of us watching, my phone lights up for a second, fades back down and the green little house icon on the corner is lit up on the screen.

  "Now watch what happens when the sensor is moved," he says dropping it from his fingers into his other hand.

  Waiting, I swear to god I'm not even breathing until I suddenly jump at my phone vibrating in my hand. Watching the house turn red it's flashing forever, or I guess for just one minute until I start to hear an alarm ringer sound. Just slightly louder than maybe low on my phone, it fades in and out getting louder and louder until Malcolm tells me to punch in my code on the keypad.

  "What do I do if it goes off when I'm not home?"

  "You call the police immediately. You tell them your apartment has been broken into, that its occurring that very second, then you wait for the police to instruct you as to what to do. Do NOT shut off the alarm on your phone until the Police tell you the coast is clear. See here," he turns my phone in my hand. "Use the normal volume control, so you can turn it down while you wait to find out what's happening."

  “Does it do anything else?”

  “Yeah, you can program others to get notifications as well if the alarm goes off.”

  “Like you and Selena?”

  “Yup. And also see these 3 buttons?” He points them out when we click on the app. “Well, they’re like speed-dials. If you hit one, whoever you choose gets a notification on their email you’ve contacted them.”

  “Like you and Selena,” I say again feeling so much safer suddenly.

  Leaning against the wall, I can't stop looking at my phone as Malcolm silences. This is BY FAR the best gift I've ever received and I'm so happy and relieved and just so overwhelmed I suddenly jump and scream when there's a knock on the door right beside me.

  Yanked out of the way so fast by Malcolm I barely see the door open or the pizza guy’s face before he screams like a girl. />
  Shocked we three stand there for seconds before I start laughing so hard, I look insane. Apologizing, I make my way to my purse on the stove and pay him with Malcolm beside me clearly trying not to laugh. Tipping him better than usual I just shut the door before Malcolm does actually laugh way harder and louder than any man I've ever heard before in my life.

  "Did you see his face when I answered the door?" He asks still laughing.

  "Did you hear his scream?" I barely ask before the giggles hit me again. "And that was so not his fault. I didn't see what you looked like, but I can imagine super intense, scary-faced, threatening Malcolm throwing the door open." Fake shuddering, "I know I'd scream like a girl too."

  Grinning still Malcolm walks to the couch, tugs 2 boxes closer and hands out the pizza between us. Eating silently, I stare at my phone beside me on the couch like it'll somehow change or alert me again though it’s not even activated. Looking at my phone constantly, I can't believe how relieved I feel.

  "Did I mention how very, very cool this was?"

  "Not really," he shrugs with a grin.

  "Well, this is absolutely the coolest, most amazing, most thoughtful, most perfect house warming gift ever."

  "I was gonna get you a plant. Good call, huh?" He deadpans which starts me laughing again.

  *****

  "Saige, I can't possibly organize these the way you want, so can I just unpack them and put them on the shelves for you to organize later?"

  "Sure." From the kitchen I inwardly cringe at the placement of my textbooks, but at least it's a project for me later.

  My kitchen is almost done, and I couldn't help laugh at some of the stuff Selena packed for me- like a turkey baster? Really? She did pack all my favorite red ceramic mugs though, which I think was a giant screw you to Tyler. He probably didn't even notice until he went to make his coffee the next morning, which he also couldn't do because she packed the coffee maker as well.

  Grinning as I put my mugs away, Malcolm opens a box and pauses. Watching him not move, I'm too curious not to ask, "What did you find?"