Shadows and Embers

by Lindsey Richardson

  She continued laughing; probably thinking I had lost my mind.

  “Is this how you gain a lady’s attention?” Rahela asked.

  “It worked on you, didn’t it? You only find an Irvine once in your lifetime,” I winked.

  Offering my hand again, I continued leading the way. The rain did not cease. Rahela’s hair was drenched; the raindrops fell down her slender neck. My boots were soaked as well, especially since one of the soles had an opening at the top. Throughout the entire journey, I hoped we wouldn’t catch a cold from the weather.

  Fortunately we could see Esmour’s house before I worried furthermore. I grinned at Rahela, pointing to the house as if she couldn’t recognize it. She looked like a petrified cat, but I could hardly blame her when our clothes were ruined.

  The moment we reached the door I knocked on it repetitively until Esmour finally answered. Quickly, I released Rahela’s hand. Esmour was in a robe, staring at Rahela first and then shifting his attention to me.

  “You look terrible,” Esmour said, gasping.

  “Shall we stand outside all day?” I asked.

  He stepped back, and I walked in without bothering to look at him. I sat down in the first chair I saw, watching as water dripped from my body and onto the floor. Rahela entered into the room as well but remained standing.

  “You honestly do look terrible, Léal,” Esmour repeated as he closed the front door.

  I shook my head and chuckled, but my glance focused on my shaking hands.

  “You lied to us. You sent us out on a false mission, and then you failed to inform me that Rahela has no experience with magical weaponry,” I said through chattering teeth.

  “Wait…what?” Esmour choked.

  Rahela chimed in. “We fought a woman, and she seemed to know about our mission.”

  He swore under his breath, and then turning to me, he said, “I… Well, someone made a mistake, and they will be held responsible. Rahela will attend training tonight, and you’re expected to come. First, though, you should both return home and change.”

  Having no strength to argue with him, I stood up to leave. I sneaked a glance at Rahela, noticing the red stains on her white dress.

  ***

  I sat on a chair by the fireplace with nothing on but a dark blue robe. My clothes lay on the floor, absorbing the fire’s heat. The family portrait hung on the wall, and it felt like Papa’s eyes were staring directly at me.

  “What do you want from me?” I asked. He didn’t answer and never would, but his letter continued to haunt me.

  And son, no matter what, don’t disappoint me.

  I winced at the thought of that being his dying request. Desperate for a distraction, I eyed the table beside me. There was a pitcher of water and an empty glass. Pouring myself a drink, I slid off the chair to sit on the floor. The fire roared, burning brightly. I heard a floorboard suddenly creak, and I turned around to see Nicia.

  “I should lock the door more often,” I commented. In truth, though, I hoped she hadn’t been standing in the room long enough to hear me talking to a painting.

  She advanced to where I was, and then I gestured for her to sit beside me. Once she was curled up next to me, she rested her head on my shoulder.

  “I miss your father, Leal,” Nicia sighed.

  I wrapped my arms around her and said, “I do too… and I’m sorry about what I said before church.”

  “You’re apologizing?” she gazed up at me with a puzzled look.

  Ignoring her, I said, “I always wonder why it had to be my father. There were plenty of other Dark magicians, but they chose to murder him.”

  Nicia nodded, though now she was looking at the portrait.

  “It’s a decision the White magicians deserve to regret for the rest of their pathetic lives,” she replied, spitting out the words.

  Quietly she added, “Don’t live with their guilt.”

  “How can’t I? My father specifically asked me not to become a Dark magician,” I whispered.

  Though Nicia was silent, I was grateful. She wrapped her arms around my chest, and we sat in silence. No one knew about the letter except Mama. I thought about all of the other times Nicia sat here with me like this. Perhaps Destin was a family after all.

  “Léal?” Nicia raised her head.

  When I said nothing, she continued with, “Your father didn’t want you to be a Dark magician because he had no idea how successful you’d become. At the end of the day you are the only person I can trust with my life.”

  Chuckling, I responded, “Not Malin?”

  She kicked me with her foot and said, “Malin has nothing to do with this.”

  “But he does. When do you plan on admitting your feelings to him?” I asked.

  Anyone could see in a matter of minutes that Nicia loved Malin. The real problem was the man himself. Malin liked women enough to flirt with them, but he never had any serious relationships.

  Nicia frowned at me. “I’ll tell him when you admit to your mother that you never went through with Kinhlr.”

  “That’s not fair,” I countered, looking directly at her.

  “No, it’s not,” Nicia agreed, withdrawing her hands from my body. I loosened my hold as well, and for a moment we sat with guilt-struck faces.

  Then, without another word, Nicia kissed my forehead and stood up. I stared into the fire, thinking of an apology, but when I turned back she had already left. She reminded me of the fire; once you touched her, you were burned.

  ***

  It was later that evening when someone knocked on the door, awakening me from my deep slumber. I hadn’t meant to fall asleep, but now that I was awake I remembered the training. Liliana was already answering the door before I could gather myself together. I stood up, fixing my robe, and then Nicia stepped inside.

  “Liliana, please leave us. Oh, and would you fetch me a new outfit?” I requested. She simply nodded and departed for the staircase. I followed after her, smirking at Nicia.

  “Don’t look at me. Get dressed already!” Nicia shouted after me.

  Minutes later I descended from the staircase in dark colored attire. I refused to wear my expensive and delicate blues during training sessions with Esmour. By wearing my dark clothes at least I blended in for stealth. Training was something everyone went through in Destin; everyone had to do it, no matter how “talented” they were. With new members, Esmour liked to have them train with the rest of us. We could never have enough experience, Esmour reasoned, and more times than often the lessons did prove to be helpful.

  Pushing aside my thoughts, I held out my arm and Nicia took it. We left my home and walked through town, appearing as ordinary as everyone else. Several of the men knew Nicia and gazed upon her with a longing hunger in their eyes. Each time I saw one of the fools, I held on tighter to my companion and quickened our pace.

  “Nasty animals,” I murmured under my breath.

  However, Nicia barely paid any attention to me. Her focus was now drawn to Malin, who was also walking toward Esmour’s. Usually we tried to arrive at different times so no one would be suspicious of our secret gatherings.

  “Malin!” I shouted.

  He turned around with a huge grin and then ran to greet us.

  “Léal, you survived the first day!” he cried in joy, shaking my hand.

  I chuckled. “Of course I did, you fool.”

  “And hello to you, Malin,” Nicia said with a frown.

  He finally turned and looked at her, bowing to her like she was his queen. His actions sickened me, but he had no idea what affect that would have on Nicia.

  “No woman should frown like that. Here, I have a solution,” Malin replied.

  Suddenly he grabbed her away from me and picked her up. She giggled with a new brightness in her eyes as he twirled her around in his arms, laughing along with her. He insisted on carrying her into Esmour’s house, and I did not dare stop him. There was a liveliness he could bring out in her, and I only ever saw it when he w
as around.

  The door to Esmour’s house opened, and Malin stepped inside with Nicia in his arms. I followed after them, noticing it was Jacquette who held the door open. She nodded at me, though she too was watching as Malin pranced around the house with Nicia. Shrugging, I continued through the house to find out where everyone else was.

  Entering into the kitchen, I was greeted with warm smiles and loud laughs. Esmour was standing at the front of the dining table, raising a flask. Malin was beside him, who had set down Nicia to wonder on her own. She stood a few feet away from the men, admiring them from a distance. Alaire was there too; he smiled at me but was soon distracted with Jacquette’s entrance. Everyone was drinking as they sometimes would for celebration, and seeing as they were all older than me, they usually enjoyed wine.

  “Have a drink, my boy,” Esmour shouted from across the table.

  I shook my head, though Malin pushed a flask in my direction. While I snatched it, I considered drinking it. However, I was more interested in what we were all waiting for. What happened to training? I watched those around me, all of which were entertained with themselves. Esmour and Malin talked about upcoming missions as they always did, and Alaire and Jacquette stayed huddled together.

  “I love you,” Alaire said, kissing her lips repetitively until she laughed and turned away.

  Of all the times I heard Alaire confessing his undying love to Jacquette, I couldn’t remember a time I had ever heard her do the same. I frowned at this realization, but all too soon the room became entirely quiet. Everyone stared at something behind me. Turning around, I could understand why they had stopped.

  Rahela stood between the two rooms in a long, white dress. The sleeves dropped past her arms, and while the material looked pricey, she looked more beautiful than before. In the candlelight her eyes glowed brightly and her skin looked as pure and white as the clouds. Her eyes darted to me, and then she smiled. I held out my hand to her, and she took it as she gracefully advanced to where I was.

  Everyone raised their flasks to her once she was standing among us. Malin rushed over and offered her wine, though she shook her head and politely declined. He kept grinning at her, insisting for her to take the flask, and then suddenly his grip loosened and the drink spilled. The red wine dripped down her dress, and the uneasy silence returned again. Rahela’s smile vanished, and her eyes filled up with tears.

  “The blood…” she whispered so that only Malin and I could hear her.

  “It’s okay, you can always wash the dress,” I assured her, wrapping my arm around her waist.

  She pulled away from me.

  “No!” she screamed.

  With tears running down her face, Rahela dashed out of the room and collapsed on the fur rug. I pursued her, though I had no idea what would comfort her. She was curled up in a ball, wailing loud enough for Esmour’s voice in the background to sound distant. I knelt down beside her.

  “You have every right to fear the sight of blood,” I whispered to her, patting her shoulder gently. When she continued to cry, I added in a lower voice, “I was afraid of it too when I first started here. Some days it still disgusts me, but I promise after a while… After a while you’ll be stronger.”

  Her head turned toward me, but the tears kept rolling down her cheeks.

  “W-what are you afraid of?” she asked.

  Smiling, I replied, “Losing my partner.”

  I offered my hand to her, and she took it after a moment’s hesitation. Once we were standing, I realized everyone else had moved to where we were.

  Nicia took a step forward and said, “Here, let’s change your dress. I always leave a spare here just in case.”

  Rahela glanced up at me, and I nodded. She released my hand and followed after Nicia, glancing back several times before disappearing into one of the spare bedrooms.

  Esmour clapped his hands together, making me jump, and then he started talking about the rules for training. Often times the rules did not change, but depending on the person, there could be certain exceptions. Rahela was a special case, since we didn’t know whether she possessed the power to wield magical weaponry.

  “You’re allowed to use magical weaponry, but Rahela’s team will have to work with her to see if she is able to perform with weapons. If she doesn’t possess the skills, it could kill her,” Esmour said.

  It was a reminder to all of us. One of our former magicians had died because of a spell he performed with an arrow. Unexpectedly the spell had backfired and killed him instantly. It was a loss none of us could forget, and now we couldn’t be too cautious.

  Rahela and Nicia returned in time for Esmour to finish his explanation.

  “Now remember,” he continued, glancing around the circle at each of us, “the first half of training will be teamwork. You’ll be working in teams to ‘win’ the battle. The second half –perhaps the most important-will require individual work. If you want to ‘win,’ you’ll have to fight for it.”

  The entire purpose behind training was to prepare us for an actual battle. The training field was meant to feel like something we would encounter in real life. However, there were limits. We weren’t allowed to kill or severely injure one another. If someone was not strong enough, they would “die” and have to start over again. The idea was that if you couldn’t withstand the battle, you were forced to stop fighting and couldn’t start again until your contact came over to “recover” you.

  “Ready?” Esmour asked.

  “Ready,” Malin said, nodding as he withdrew the dagger from his belt.

  I glanced over to Rahela, whose eyes widened. With a frown, I felt for the dagger in my boot and grunted in response.

  Next, Jacquette revealed a sharp and sturdy arrow. Her focus was on Alaire, watching him with everyone else, as he pulled out a small and thick knife of his own.

  All eyes turned to Rahela, who had changed into a dark purple dress. I remembered Esmour telling me about the dreams she had for her future, and all I could think was that this moment would destroy her hope. Despite my uncertainty, she surprised me again and started leading the way. There was a faint smile on her face, but where her future lay was for the moon and the stars to determine. Everyone carried a weapon while Rahela had nothing but her bare hands and magic to rely on.

  Chapter Five

  End of the Blade

  The forest was engulfed in darkness. For as far as the naked eye could see there were only trees and shadows of the lurking darkness. It would be entirely dark within an hour or so. I stood behind a tree, attempting to stay quiet. Each breath I took sounded louder than the last, and I feared breathing alone would reveal my position. For the first half I was in a team with Jacquette and Nicia. Even so, teamwork didn’t necessarily mean that we would be with each other at all times.

  I had no idea where my partners were. Knowing Jacquette, she might have run after Alaire. Esmour loved mixing up the teams, forcing us to work against each other. It was a test to see if it came down to it we’d remember how precious every life is and how quickly one can end. In battle you have to choose who you fight for.

  Cautiously, I peaked my head out from behind the tree. There appeared to be no one nearby, but I was certain Malin and Alaire could be hiding anywhere. It was all a matter of who dared to take the first step, the first risk. With a smirk, I stepped out into the open and waited. Abruptly a dagger flew through the sky headed for me. I ducked immediately, listening as the weapon struck the tree behind me. Malin jumped up from a bush and started running toward me while I held out my hands, fully prepared to perform a spell.

  Once he was close enough, I whispered a word and blue mist struck Malin down. His body hit the ground hard enough to sound like a tree had fallen. Advancing toward him, I kept my focus on the bush he came from. Just as I reached his body there was a sharp point that ripped straight across my tunic, revealing my chest. I gasped being unable to react, and then I turned my head to see who had done it. A squeal leaked from Nicia’s lips as she st
ood several feet away from me with her hand extended. The dagger dropped, and I let out a long sigh.

  Nicia stepped forward, but I threw my hands up.

  “You weren’t supposed to kill me! Why not kill Malin? He’s the enemy here,” I hissed, trying to keep my voice low.

  “I thought you were someone else. Oh god… Did I hurt you?” Nicia asked, choking on her words like she literally lacked the ability to breathe.

  Sighing again, I pointed to the large hole in my shirt. “This was an expensive shirt. You destroyed my shirt and would have possibly killed me in the process.”

  “No, no I didn’t mean to,” Nicia said, shaking her head violently. She took another step forward, but I could see the tears building up in her eyes.

  “Recover me,” I replied, though it was more of a command. If we had been in an actual battle Nicia’s mistake could have critically wounded me. Now I needed her to “recover” me so I could start over again, meaning my team was already losing the battle.

  Once she was standing in front of me I asked, “Are you crying?”

  She rubbed her eyes quickly.

  “I will not cry in front of you like a child. Besides, it was your own fault. If you’d stop thinking about that shirt…” her voice trailed off, lost in thought.

  “Better?” I asked.

  Nicia tapped my shoulder and nodded lightly. Once we were touched by a contact we were able to return to the battle, thus now I was no longer “dead.” My hands trembled, and if this mistake was made on a real battlefield there would be no recovery.

  During the time I had been worried about the dagger, Malin managed to sneak away. If I stayed nearby the tree he might eventually return for his dagger, but instead I decided to seek out a different opponent. Training was the only time I worked closely with Jacquette, thus I searched for forest for any sign of her.

  The trees echoed noises of animals nearby. With each passing minute it seemed like the sky was darkening and eventually there would be nothing but the night’s cloak to rely on. I followed trails that I could vaguely see with what little light remained, but a majority of the time I was relying on my memory. There were sounds everywhere, yet it was difficult to tell which were human and which were not.