Seed to Harvest

by Octavia E. Butler

  Teray ignored the implied insult in Coransee’s words. “Left alone I’d be no threat to you at all. I’ve already told you that.”

  “And it still doesn’t mean a thing. It’s not your promises I’m interested in, it’s your potential, and that’s something I can only guess at. Rayal would be able to do more than guess.”

  “You want Rayal to evaluate me?”

  “Yes.”

  “What would happen if he found out that I … that I didn’t have the potential to interfere with you?” It was a humiliating question to have to ask. No matter what words he used, he was really saying, “What will you do with me if I turn out to be too weak ever to stand against you?”

  “What do you want to happen?”

  “I want my freedom!”

  “No more?”

  “Freedom from you will be enough.”

  Coransee smiled. “You wouldn’t ask me for more, no matter how much you wanted it, would you, brother?”

  Teray said nothing.

  “No matter. Are you willing to be judged by Rayal?”

  “Yes.”

  “We’ll go on to Forsyth, then. We’re nearly there and I want to see Rayal anyway. But there is one more thing. Only Rayal’s findings can free you. You go to Forsyth as my outsider.”

  Teray shrugged.

  “My property.”

  “You’ve captured me.”

  “Say the words.”

  Teray stared at him in silent hatred.

  “I’ve wasted enough time with you, Teray. Say the words or face me now.”

  Say the words and give up any right to sanctuary in Forsyth, should Rayal’s decision leave him still in need of sanctuary. Say the words that could later be picked from his own memory and used to damn him. Or refuse to say them, and die.

  “I am your outsider,” said Teray quietly. “Your property.”

  Chapter Seven

  TIME SEEMED SUSPENDED. THE thirteen riders rode two abreast with Coransee alone in the lead. Teray and Amber rode directly behind him, still linked, but resting, no longer watching for Clayarks. There were eleven others who could watch. Teray felt his own weariness shadowily echoed by Amber’s. They had not let themselves realize how draining the constant vigilance had been, especially during the past twenty-four hours. And to have that vigilance end in capture by the very person they had endured it to escape.

  Teray looked at Amber, and read not only weariness but bitterness in her face. He realized abruptly that the bargain that he and Coransee had made in no way included her. She had fled from Redhill because Coransee had denied her independence, tried to hold her against her will. And now she was his again. At least Teray had a chance for freedom, but she was caught—unless she wanted to try against Coransee her healer’s talent for swift murder. And she had already admitted that she was afraid of him.

  Abruptly Teray urged his horse forward to pull alongside Coransee. He could not abandon the woman, could not let her be drawn back into captivity without even trying to help her. She had helped him. The shot rang out just as Teray moved.

  Teray felt the bullet’s impact so strongly that he slumped to one side, almost falling from his horse. He held on somehow, aware of pain now, growing, but oddly dulled. It was then that he realized that it was not he who had been shot, but Amber.

  The link, fulfilling its function too well, had given him so great a share of her experience that if they had been alone he could have been shot too while he was recovering. But he was not alone.

  He realized from the alert, intense expressions of the outsiders and women that they were already seeking the Clayark sniper. The party had come to a stop. Teray left the hunt to them, dismounted, and went to help Amber.

  She had not fallen. She sat hunched over, coughing blood, fighting desperately to keep herself alive. She had taken a bullet through the throat. As Teray lifted her down she seemed to pass out. He felt the limp, dead weight of her and only the link reassured him that she was still alive.

  He carried her onto the soft sand of the beach, put her down, and knelt beside her for a moment, wondering whether it would be dangerous to disturb her with an offer of help. Did she need help? A wound like that probably would have killed a nonhealer before anyone could do anything about it. She was not only alive but working to heal herself. Teray felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up, startled, as Coransee knelt beside him.

  “You looked as though you were just about to reach out to her,” the Housemaster said.

  “To help her. She might need it.”

  “No. I’ve seen her badly hurt before. She manages better if she’s left alone.”

  Teray looked at him doubtfully, wondering whether he knew what he was talking about. But the link was no longer transmitting distress. Amber had gotten rid of her pain and she was no longer bleeding either from her neck wound or from her mouth. She seemed in control. Teray decided to leave her alone unless she seemed in trouble again. He got up, went to his horse, and got a clean handkerchief. He wet it from his canteen and brought it back to wipe the blood from her face and neck. Coransee watched him silently for a moment, then said, “Were you speeding up a little just before she was shot?”

  “Yes, to talk to you. To talk about her, in fact.”

  “That’s interesting. From what Lias said—she was riding just behind Amber—if you hadn’t moved when you did, the bullet would have hit you.”

  Teray thought about that, and nodded slowly.

  “It was probably you they were aiming at. You were lucky.”

  “Where was the Clayark?”

  Coransee pointed inland toward the hills. “He was high and far back, but he waited until you and Amber were almost directly in front of him. I hope they don’t have many rifles or riflemen who can make that kind of shot.”

  “Well, at least now they have one less.”

  “No. We lost him.”

  Teray stared at him incredulously. “All of you? You couldn’t catch one Clayark?”

  Coransee lifted an eyebrow. “That’s what I said, brother.”

  Teray heard the warning in his voice and ignored it. “I don’t see how you could possibly have missed him. So many of you …” He thought of something suddenly. “Lord, are you linked with anyone?”

  “I’m not, but the others are linked in pairs.”

  And the range of a linked pair of them would be little better than Coransee’s range alone. What good did it do Coransee to have ten people with him if he didn’t use them sensibly? Teray found himself glaring at the Housemaster in open accusation.

  “Blame?” said Coransee calmly. “What are we doing out here between sectors with the Clayarks, Teray? Why are we here?”

  Teray made a sound of disgust. “All right, make it my fault if you want to. But you know as well as I do that you should link up with at least some of your people. You could stand it with a couple of them even though they’re not close to you. Hell, you’re the one who wants the Pattern. That will link you with everyone.” He could see that Coransee was getting angry, but he did not care.

  “You know,” said Coransee quietly, “I would have stopped you some words back if I didn’t realize you were speaking out of your feelings for the woman. But even for that, you’ve said enough.”

  Teray looked at Amber and saw that she was breathing normally now. For a while she had hardly seemed to be breathing at all. But she was pulling out of it. The wound was closed already. She was going to be all right. And this wouldn’t happen again, because weary or not, he and Amber wouldn’t depend on the protection, the watchfulness, of others. They would look out for themselves as before, working together, their combined, extended awareness missing nothing. For days they had traveled safely alone. Now, amid a group of strong Patternists, the Clayarks had reached them. Coransee could not even be trusted to give protection to the people he claimed as his own.

  Teray touched Amber’s arm and knew that she was aware of him, that she took comfort in his presence. He looked at her si
lently for several seconds, then spoke to Coransee.

  “You’re right, Lord, I did speak out of love for her. I … do you intend to keep her?”

  “Yes.”

  “I was afraid you did. If Rayal’s findings free me, will you let me buy her?”

  “Buy her with what?”

  “With service, brother, work. I had planned never to see Redhill again if I was freed. But I’ll go back and work at whatever you say if my service will buy her.”

  But Coransee was already shaking his head. “You’re welcome to come back to Redhill, to my House, if you’re freed. But she’s not for sale.” Coransee smiled slightly. “You’d never be able to hold her anyway.”

  “I wouldn’t try to hold her against her will. I want her as my wife, not as my prisoner.”

  “You won’t have her as either. At least not until I’m tired of her. But you’ll have the same access to her as any other outsider if you return with me.”

  Amber opened her eyes and looked at Teray, then at Coransee. She did not speak. Perhaps she could not, yet.

  “Of course,” said Coransee to Teray, “you can have it all if you decide to stop fighting me. Amber will be the least of what you’ll get.”

  Amber sat up, closed her eyes again for a few seconds, then opened them and stood up. Still without speaking, she walked over to her horse, took down her canteen, then went off several steps to a large rock. She leaned against the rock, kicked aside some sand, and vomited into the depression she had made. When she was finished, she rinsed her mouth, then took a long drink of water. She kicked sand into the depression, turned, and came toward them, eating something that Teray had not seen her take from her horse. Her eyes were on Coransee.

  “I’m an independent, Lord.” She spoke with slight hoarseness. “I’m an independent because most people realize how much trouble I can cause them if they try to hold me.”

  “You think I don’t, after two years?”

  “I think you haven’t thought about it enough.”

  “That sounds like a warning.”

  “Good. At least you know me well enough to understand that much.”

  He hit her just as she was turning away. She shielded too late to escape the force of the blow. She fell to one knee, and stared her hatred at him.

  “I’ve taken you into my House,” he said. “You belong to me. You don’t give me warnings.”

  “I’ll give you this one!” Her voice was a harsh whisper.

  “Hit me again and you won’t have an undamaged organ left in your body!”

  Teray came between them. He stepped between them physically, and emphasized the link mentally so that Coransee understood the situation.

  “This is none of your business, Teray,” said the Housemaster.

  “Lord, she’s just recovering from a wound that would have killed anyone else. Can’t you at least wait until she’s rested before you start on her?”

  Amber came up beside Teray and said quietly, “Stay out of it, Teray. You’ve made your deal.”

  “Keep quiet.” He didn’t bother to look at her. Both she and Coransee ought to be grateful to him. He was giving them a way out. A way to avoid a potentially suicidal confrontation. Or, at the very worst, he was joining the confrontation and thus making it less certainly suicidal for Amber. “We’re one,” he told Coransee. “She and I are one. Attacking her is the same as attacking me.”

  Coransee looked at Teray with mild surprise. “She’s worth your life to you?”

  “She is.” Not that he expected to pay with his life for siding with her. The moment of greatest tension had passed. Now Coransee would find a face-saving way out.

  “Has she already agreed to stay with you?” the Housemaster asked. Had Teray succeeded where Coransee had failed?

  “No, Lord. In fact, she refused.”

  Coransee laughed aloud. “Then you’re a bigger fool than I thought.”

  Teray said nothing, stayed where he was. Coransee said to Amber, “Would you let him throw away his foolish life for you, girl? You know I’d kill him.”

  Amber did not answer.

  “You might even have some chance against me since I’m no healer. He’d have none at all.” He sounded like Darah.

  “Do you really want my life now?” Amber asked softly. “Are you trying to move him out of your way so you can kill me?”

  He smiled. “I doubt that that would be necessary. Believe it or not, what I’m trying very hard to do is keep both of you alive.”

  “Then what do you want from me?”

  “For now, a link. I want you to open and let me see what slowly lethal thing you may already have done to my body. Then I want a link that will let me know if you try to do it again. Only that in place of the beating you deserve.”

  “I’m linked with Teray.”

  “That’s your problem—and his. To keep you from murdering me, I need a link with you. You warned me, after all. Refuse, and I’ll have to kill you here and now.”

  She stared at him for several seconds, then looked at Teray helplessly.

  “If you decide to fight, I’ll stand with you,” he said.

  “No.”

  “We have a chance. Your strength coupled with mine …”

  “No, Teray.” She coughed and then was still for a moment, as though making some inner adjustment. “Not now. Not unless I have to, and especially not with you. I’m too tired, drained. I might fail you.” She hesitated. “Shall I break our link?”

  “Break it? No, of course not.”

  “But you’ll be joined with him through me.”

  “Only incidentally. He won’t be able to read me any more than he already does. He and I are too far apart.”

  “But … he’ll be more aware of you. You won’t be able to …”

  “Take him by surprise? I probably couldn’t anyway. Besides, if you want our link broken, you don’t have to ask. You can just break it.”

  “I don’t want to. I should, for your sake, but I don’t want to. I want you with me.”

  He only looked at her, loving her, wanting her, knowing that somehow he had to take her from Coransee. As he had to have his own freedom, he had to have her.

  She turned away from the intensity of his gaze and he felt a flickering of fear in her. Fear of him?

  A moment later she opened to Coransee. Teray had no awareness of the exact communication that passed between them. That they held private. Only through the link could he feel her fear suddenly expand, grow momentarily to terror, then lessen just as he was about to interfere. It lessened to anger, humiliation, hatred.

  Then, as her emotions settled, Teray became aware of Coransee as a part of the link. The Housemaster was an intruder, unwelcome, bringing discomfort to the link for the first time. Teray tried to rid himself of the sensation of being mentally invaded. He knew that Coransee could not reach his thoughts unless he opened. Yet the feeling would not go away.

  Teray ran his hand through his hair, wondering how he could ever learn to live with such a sensation. The constant feeling of being watched, spied on, by a hostile presence.

  Amber, jaws clenched, caught his hand and held it. Teray realized how much more aware of the sensation she must be. She was linked directly. He was only receiving through her. Through his link, he offered her sustaining strength. After a moment of hesitation she accepted it.

  With a start, he realized that she was near collapse. Healing such a serious wound when she was already so tired had weakened her greatly. And despite whatever she had eaten, she was ravenously hungry. He put his arm around her.

  “Can we rest here for a while?” he asked Coransee. “You can probably feel how far gone she is.”

  “Is she?” Coransee glanced at Amber. “Tell him what you were going to do to me.”

  “What difference does it make? I can’t do it now without alerting you ahead of time.”

  “I said tell him!”

  She glanced at Teray, then looked down at the sand. “I was going to
try to kill him tonight while he slept. The way we kill Clayarks. It might have worked if I could have caught him completely off guard.”

  Coransee nodded grimly. “Anytime you want to try your luck, healer, you can face me. But it will be face to face, with both of us wide awake.”

  She said nothing.

  “Now, are you ready to go on or are you too tired?”

  “I’m tired, Lord, but I can go on.”

  Teray started to protest, but the look Amber gave him kept him silent.

  “Get to your horses, then,” said Coransee. He went away, shouting to the others to mount up.

  “At this point,” said Amber softly, “I think he would have killed me regardless of the damage I’d do him before I died. Killed me and left me here. He’s angry enough to take the risk. He still has the nerve to be outraged when he finds someone else trying to take unfair advantage.”

  “Would you really have done it?”

  “Of course I would have done it. That’s why he’s so angry—and that’s why he’s more than a little worried. He’s starting to think. He’s thinking about how far he is from the nearest healer—other than me. God, I wish I didn’t feel so weak!”

  “I should have attacked him the moment I saw him.”

  “You haven’t given up, have you?”

  He looked at her, startled. “Of course not.”

  “Good. Because I think he’s planning something for you. I got something from him while he was snooping through my thoughts. Not much, but it was hostile, and it was against you.”

  “That’s not surprising.”

  “But … I don’t know. It feels as though he’s lied to you about something.”

  “About what? Letting me go on to Forsyth, or …?”

  “I don’t know. I have to think about it more. I’ll tell you as soon as I think I’ve figured it out. Hopefully, I’ll tell you before I have to tell him.”

  Teray glanced back toward Coransee. “You think you’ll have to open to him again?”

  She smiled tiredly. “If you were him, Teray, would you trust me?”

  They traveled for the rest of the day, Teray offering Amber as much of his own strength as she needed. She accepted only until she found in her rations enough readily edible food to steady herself. She refused Teray’s offer of his rations.