by Christina Li
The sky was silent. Grunting, Violet sat up and looked around at all the tombstones surrounding her. In a flash, she realized this wasn’t necessarily a place of death, a place of endings, but rather, it was a place of beginnings, the beginning of a new life in a different form, a different world. Not every one of these people made it to heaven. Their new beginning was more of an endless end. Those who did make it to heaven experienced life in a way more alive than in a fleshly body. However, this didn’t answer Violet’s question of what she was supposed to do now.
Disgusted, she stood up and dusted off her jeans skirt. She suspected she knew what she was supposed to do, the right thing to do. The problem was she did not want to do it. It was a long walk back to her Aunt Mabel’s house. As she went, she realized she didn’t think of it as home anymore. Her aunt wouldn’t be there much longer. How could it be home without Aunt Mabel? She wasn’t even sure she wanted to stay in Butterfield anymore.
Chapter 21
As she opened the door at home, she frowned. Her stomach growled signaling dinner time. Usually, at that hour, at least some noise hummed, coffee brewing, oven baking, something. Instead, silence reigned. Smells and sounds and an atmosphere emanated throughout home, making it ‘home.’ Every time she walked through the door, this place enveloped her peace. Concerned, she crept through the house, the only sound a loud creak from a loose floorboard. “Aunt Mabel, where are you?”
When she got to her aunt’s room, her aunt lay on the floor unconscious. A scream rent her throat. “No! Aunt Mabel, wake up! Please!” Cradling her aunt, she pulled out her cell and dialed 9-1-1. Tears streamed unchecked down her face.
At the hospital, Violet paced back and forth in the waiting room.
Her cell rang, and unthinking, she answered it. “Violet! I’m so glad you answered your phone! How are you? I’ve been so worried.”
“Hello, Ivy. I’m all right.”
“Where are you? The hospital staff were in an uproar after you left.”
“Oh, sorry about that. I really hate hospitals.”
“Well, where are you?”
Violet’s voice caught before she could get the words out.
Finally, she said, “Ivy, I’m at a hospital in St. Louis. My aunt’s cancer has come back. The doctors don’t have much hope. I found her unconscious today and brought her in.”
“Violet, that’s terrible. We’ll all be praying for you.”
“Thank-you.” Ivy really did love her, even though she didn’t really understand. “Ivy, please tell everyone thank-you… if I don’t see them any time soon.”
Violet heard Ivy’s intake of breath, hesitancy, as if she wanted to say one thing, but changed her mind. She breathed out and said, “Violet, we all love you. Don’t forget that you have family here.”
“Thank-you.” She clicked the phone off and tried not to cry. No, she didn’t have family in Chicago. Her only remaining family consisted of her aunt, lying in a hospital bed. Soon, she would be all alone.
The next several days were a blur. Her aunt regained consciousness and spoke coherently. Those sweet conversations remained long in Violet’s memory. They chatted of many things, her aunt’s life, joys and sorrows. They talked about faith and heaven and a new life with the Lord forever. Aunt Mabel also spoke to Violet about her career and the gift of storytelling. God gave her this gift and called her to use her gifts and talents wisely. It would be great when she got to the point of being able to write full time, but she needed to seek the Lord even in her writing. When she learned to forget about seeking after things for herself and focused instead on seeking the Lord and praising Him, everything would fall into place.
They also talked about Sam. Violet didn’t know what she would do. Would he be able to forgive her? She deserted him when he needed her most. She left him in the hospital and ran away. What kind of fiancé did that? He deserved so much better.
“He doesn’t want your definition of ‘better’. He wants what the Lord brought into his life. He wants you.” Aunt Mabel’s body was weak, but her voice rang strong. Violet couldn’t help feeling the force of it.
“I’m not sure I can face him now.”
“That’s a cop-out and you know it. Don’t make him wait too long.”
Violet shifted uncomfortably and nodded. Aunt Mabel sighed. She wanted things to be worked out for her niece, but feared that wouldn’t happen until after she died.
Aunt Mabel lasted only three weeks. During that time, Violet camped out at the hospital, sleeping in the room with her or out in the waiting room. The hospital staff more than tolerated her. They gave her a pillow and a blanket and tried to make her as comfortable as possible.
After she died, Violet spent another week with funeral arrangements. The number of people that came surprised and touched her. Even Sue drove from St. Louis. Violet purposely didn’t tell Ivy and her other friends (or Sam) about the funeral. She couldn’t face them. The constant activity helped to keep her busy and distracted, sleep seemed a distant memory. By the time the day of the funeral arrived, Violet barely moved, much less spoke. Sue didn’t even try to get more than a few words from her friend. Instead, she hugged her and whispered words of comfort and encouragement.
After the funeral, Violet paced the house, doing nothing of any consequence. Her aunt didn’t have a lot of money, so once all the funeral expenses were paid, the house alone remained. Ever frugal, Violet had money saved up from her time in Chicagoland, so she decided to busy herself with writing for the time being. The necessary research and story planning she finished before she left Rolling Hills. So, she did what comforted her most—she wrote. Entering her imaginary world, she began to deal with what reality gave her.
This book challenged her in ways no other had. The story ended up as a prequel to Violet’s newest series, the Lily Green Adventures. In it, she talked about Lily’s best friend, Marla, and her terrible childhood, how her parents were killed and, unlike Violet, she didn’t have an aunt to take her in. Instead, she bounced from foster care to foster care. Her supposed ‘caregivers’ either ignored her or treated her as an unpaid servant. Over the years, the neglect and the mistreatment took its toll. Marla grew up calling herself damaged goods and worthless. When she met Lily, Marla found it extremely difficult to trust. She especially had a problem with accepting unconditional love from anyone.
The first time Marla went to church and experienced real, full, complete, true love, she broke down. Tears ran down Violet’s cheeks as she wrote that scene. When the Lord brought the true love of a man into Marla’s life, she had a difficult time accepting that as well. The Lord used an earthly love to show His own love. With every word, Violet worked through her loss and pain. Slowly, she let go and began to trust the Lord, His way, and His timing.
Another interesting thing happened with this book. With every word, Violet spilled out her love for Sam. Unintentional at first, but as she wrote, she recognized this and allowed it. More tears went into this work than any other before.
She spent more time than ever before editing and proofreading, making changes over and over again. She sent it off to beta readers she’s met online and then changed some more.
After Violet finally published it, she wondered whether to celebrate or take a nap. She considered finally driving up to Rolling Hills. However, she couldn’t quite work up the courage. How could Sam possibly forgive her after all this time?
***
As the months passed, Jesse and Will couldn’t understand Sam’s steadfast devotion. Jesse worried that Sam refused to let go and move on.
“I tried to get Sam to go to that singles’ retreat that the church put on, but he said, ‘no’ all four times I asked him.” Jesse and Will sat at a booth in the Coffee House.
“I worry about him too, but he has to live his own life. We can’t force him into anything. How long has it been now?”
“It’s been nearly six months. She’s published a new book. I almost didn’t dow
nload a copy out of spite, but then I decided that was silly and went ahead.”
Will chuckled at Jesse’s misplaced loyalty. “I almost didn’t either,” he admitted, “but I’m glad I read it.”
“I read it too,” said Ivy. She had just come in and overheard them. “I cried more than once.”
“The house sold,” said Will.
“You know, she lived here for such a short time, but it seems so strange to have another family there,” said Jesse.
“Let’s talk about something else,” said Ivy. “Here comes Sam.”
Sam smiled as he sat down at the table. “How’s it going?” He acted like he hadn’t a care in the world. Yet, they all noticed that he looked up every time the Coffee House door opened.
“Not much,” Will replied. “What’s up with you?”
“I had a long day, but I chose to stay up late last night reading Violet’s latest book, so it’s my own fault. Have you read it?”
They were all shocked into silence. Ivy spoke first. “Uh, I did, and I liked it. I kept wondering if Marla wasn’t Violet, herself. At least she had had her aunt, but what if she hadn’t had anybody?”
“Violet’s stories seem to have more of herself in them than perhaps even she realizes.” The corners of Sam’s lips curved upward slightly.
“Why don’t you call her? Maybe she’ll answer. Or, why not just drive down there?” asked Will.
“I’ve prayed about it. That’s not what I’m supposed to do. I have to just wait.”
Jesse shot a meaningful glance at Will.
“Sometimes, it’s not waiting, it’s letting go and trusting that the Lord’s got this,” Ivy said. “Violet taught me that.”
“Sounds like a good lesson,” said Will.
Ivy smiled. Though she had initially accepted Violet’s words, she still had to deal with the habit of day dreaming about him. She had to work to change her mental patterns and form the new habit of consciously, intentionally letting go. She would still like a life with Will, but she would rather trust the Lord than try to make something happen herself. Now, she saw Will as merely a friend. Although, strangely, she thought she caught him staring at her once or twice, but of course not. It had to be just her imagination.
“Oh, here comes Guinevere,” said Ivy. “I still can’t believe you’re married, Jesse. That has to be the fastest romance on record.”
Sam didn’t want to remind everyone that if he had had his way, he and Violet would’ve been married after less than four months. Jesse and Guinevere had been married for only about two weeks now. Once again, he fingered the engagement ring he carried around in his pocket and gave it all over to the Lord and patiently waited a little longer.
***
Meanwhile, Violet’s book remained on Amazon’s best-seller list. In fact, a major New York publisher contacted her asking if she would be interested in a publishing contract. Overnight, her income went from about $1000 a month to between $5000 and $10,000 a month.
She now had an agent and flew regularly to and from New York City. She did book tours all over the US. At first, her book tours were along the East coast, New York, Boston, Washington D.C., Atlanta, and eventually Miami.
It all seemed a crazy blur. She thanked the Lord daily, overwhelmed by this opportunity. She sensed her book was good, her best yet, but she hadn’t expected it to do quite this well. It was even doing well over in Europe. The publisher was considering having it translated into German and French.
Violet enjoyed sitting in bookstores signing copies of her book and meeting all kinds of different people. It was so strange, suddenly being so popular. Strange, how far she had come, but Violet was grateful. Her dream had come true. Her writing brought in enough money to support herself. She could write full time with plenty to pay any and all bills and have quite a bit left over for savings or fun. After making so little waitressing, this felt strange.
In a bookstore back in New York, Violet sat at a table talking to people and signing books. Seeing the next person in line, she started. At first glance, he resembled Sam, but of course not. She smiled weakly and said, “Who should I make this out to?”
“Please make it out to Monica Nelson. She’s my wife. She’s working tonight or she would be here. She loves your books.”
“Tell her thank-you for me. She’s blessed to have such a sweet husband that would do something like this for her.”
He blushed. “It’s her birthday tomorrow, and I wanted to surprise her.”
“I’m sure she’ll love it.” Violet wrote, ‘Happy Birthday! Love, Violet Carsten’ and handed the book back.
He read it and grinned. “My wife will be so thrilled. Thank-you.”
The rest of the evening went well. Violet was tired when it was over. All she wanted to do was fall into bed in her hotel room, but her agent wouldn’t let her go just yet.
“Violet, I wanted to go over this next week’s schedule with you.” Landry, Violet’s agent, had an IPad and was quickly tapping away, not even looking at her.
“Are we going to stay here for a while or go somewhere else along the East coast?”
“Nope. Now, we’re finally going inland, Nashville next, then on to Chicago.”
Violet was silent. Of course, she would have to face going back to Chicago and Chicagoland someday, but she wasn’t sure if she was ready yet. Landry didn’t notice the lack of response.
“We’re scheduled for two bookstores in Chicago and one out in one of the suburbs.” She tapped some more. “Oh, Bartlett is very convenient, very close to the airport. I’ll reschedule our flight and plan on flying out right after the Bartlett store is done.”
Violet didn’t say anything. From experience, arguing with Landry proved futile at best, exasperating at worst. The woman was an absolute powerhouse and was very good at her job. She certainly knew how to market her books. Landry had even mentioned doing a book tour overseas. Violet thought that it would be absolutely amazing to go to Europe.
When she finally did get to bed that night, Violet didn’t even remember hitting the pillow.
***
The stores in Nashville were a lot of fun. Violet really loved the Southern accent. The people down South were a little more laid back than those up North as well. She found it refreshing that there wasn’t quite the rush—not nearly like it was in New York. People would want to have an actual conversation with her and the other people in line didn’t mind waiting. In fact, many of them would chime in.
Landry spent most of her time looking at her watch and tapping on her IPad. Violet thought slowing down slightly disagreed with her agent. She made a mental note to herself to include characters like Landry and some of these wonderful Southerners in a future novel. It would be a lot of fun to see a character like Landry forced to slow down for a little while. Perhaps, she would have a Landry-like character get stuck somewhere out in the middle of nowhere, somewhere Southern, and have some sort of adventure. Maybe her Landry-like character is related to Lily Green. Sisters perhaps? Cousins? How fun!
Soon, her Nashville stint ended and it was time to face Chicago. Violet didn’t mention anything to Landry. They were not really friends, more business partners, and this issue was still a little sore.
Chapter 22
Guilt for avoiding her friends so long weighed like a broken tractor on Violet’s heart. They welcomed her into their lives and homes and she repaid their kindness by shutting them out and ignoring them. The bleak winter landscape reminded her of the hopelessness she tried to run from. Yet, running didn’t help. Only turning back to Jesus and allowing Him to do a healing work ever did. Now, the time had come to reconcile with her Chicago friends. Would they ever forgive her? No matter what, they deserved an apology.
And Sam? She still loved him. What if he loved someone else? What if he already married someone else? It would serve her right and she determined that, no matter what, she would be happy for him.
The first bookstore
happened to be a Barnes and Nobles near DePaul University. The crowd received her well, and she enjoyed her time there. Yet, none of her friends showed. Her tension mounted. To avoid reconciliation would be wrong. More than enough time passed. Her friends deserved better.
Landry planned Violet’s book tour to begin in Chicago proper, then work their way north, ending in the Northwest suburbs. At the second store, again, none of her old crowd came. Perhaps they didn’t know about her book tour. This concerned her, but they shouldn’t come to her. She should go to them and apologize. All she really wanted to do was go back to the Coffee House and it be like that wonderful time before the car accident before her aunt’s death.
The day of the Bartlett bookstore arrived and Violet alternated between pacing around her hotel room and changing her clothes for the fourth time. Coffee only made things worse. Unfortunately, her schedule didn’t call for her until later in the afternoon and early evening. After that, Landry had booked them a 10pm flight back to New York.
Landry came into her hotel room at around nine. “You’re up and about early. We’re not supposed to be in Bartlett until 4 o’clock this afternoon. Why don’t you take it easy today? I will. Or you might work on your next book. I’m sure you’ve got some great ideas in that creative brain of yours. There’s a Coffee Shop downstairs. I wonder if they’ve got any good muffins. I haven’t had a really good muffin in months.”
On impulse Violet said, “Landry, I’d like to borrow the car keys. Don’t worry, I’ve been here before. I can find my way around. My phone has a really good GPS on it too.”
Landry’s eyes widened in surprise. Violet didn’t normally explore the various cities. She tended to remain in her hotel room at her computer. “Are you sure you’ll be okay? We can’t be late.”
“I’ll be fine. I don’t intend to go into Chicago proper and I know all about rush hour times.”
