Forever and Ever (Complete #1-7)

by E. L. Todd

  “Every Saturday night, I went out alone. I went to bars and tried to move on with my life. But the only person I really wanted to be with was her. When I jogged in the park, I wanted to call her and meet her for ice cream. When I was alone in my apartment, I imagined I heard her voice. It quickly dawned on me that she was everything to me. And, simply put, I couldn’t live without her. So, I chased her down and refused to let her go.

  “Your mother claims she always felt that way for me but she didn’t realize it. And after our reunion, I realized I felt the same way. When I initially met her in college, I thought she was breathtaking. I didn’t want to be just her friend the moment I laid eyes on her. But I quickly sabotaged that with my own stupidity. In a weird and twisted way, she was always my soul mate. It just took us a very, very long time to figure that out.”

  His words echoed in my mind long after he said them. I processed everything, dissecting every meaning and every phrase. My parents were the most devoted couple on the planet, and they weren’t that way just because they were in love. It was because they were friends—best friends.

  “Did that answer your question?”

  I nodded even though he couldn’t see me. “It did.”

  Even though it was past nine, I drove to Cayson’s apartment. My heart was beating faster than it ever had. Despite the light sleet on the road, my hands were sweaty. The steering wheel was ice cold and it felt good against my palm. I didn’t turn on the radio because I knew nothing could calm me down.

  I was really doing this.

  When I pulled into the parking lot, I spotted his car. A light layer of snow was on top of it, telling me he hadn’t left his apartment all day. I stayed in the car, trying to gather my bearings before I went to his door and confessed every feeling in my heart.

  God, I was nervous.

  If he didn’t feel the same way, it would crush me. But what if he did? What if he felt something, no matter how small and insignificant? What if he and I were meant to have what my parents had? What if our story was similar if not the same? Zack and every other boyfriend I had were completely wrong for me. The only constant men in my life were my father and Cayson.

  Cayson was everything I wanted in another person. He was my best friend, the person I shared everything with. With him, I was never afraid to whisper my darkest secret. When our hands touched, I felt more than just the heat from his body. When I stared into his eyes, I saw the stars of the universe. I knew this predicament was tricky. Going from friends to lovers wasn’t a simple walk in the park. It took ten years for my parents to get it right. Would it be so hard for us? Or would it be simple? Would I walk to his front door and pour my heart out to him and he would take it? Or would he reject it?

  I couldn’t stay in the car anymore even though I wished I could. While I dreaded what I was about to do, I felt compelled to do it. Otherwise, I would just go back to what I was doing before, watching Cayson from a distance, living every moment with him but not really diving headfirst. I couldn’t be a coward. My parents weren’t and I refused to be one.

  The walk up his steps was the longest I’ve ever taken. The complex was deathly quiet. Everyone was inside to escape the winter chill. I was immune to the frost. My heart was releasing so much heat that I was sweating.

  When I arrived at his door, I stared at it for a long time. I had no idea how our conversation would go once I walked inside. But that didn’t mean I should turn around. I closed my eyes and steeled my nerves. Then I opened them again and knocked.

  Shit, there was no going back.

  I knocked and I know he heard it. Footsteps sounded behind the door. He was coming closer.

  You can do this, Skye. Cayson loved me no matter what. If he didn’t feel the same way, he wouldn’t sacrifice our friendship. He was a good man and I knew he would never do that.

  I slowed my breathing, trying to appear calm. But damn, that was hard.

  The door finally opened, and my insides spilled onto the floor.

  “Skye?” Jasmine cocked an eyebrow while she looked at me. “What are you doing here?”

  I looked at her outfit and felt nauseated.

  She was wearing one of Cayson’s t-shirts. I recognized it because I bought it for his birthday years ago. It was loose on her, trailing to her thighs.

  I couldn’t speak. My mouth suddenly felt dry. I hated picturing him with her, with anyone. Her blonde hair was perfect and shiny. She had flawless skin and perfect facial features. It didn’t surprise me that he wanted her. Who wouldn’t? She had long legs that were toned and defined. She barely had any fat on her. She was skinny, much skinnier than I was. I had flab on my stomach and an ass that would barely fit into my jeans. She was supermodel status. I was…I was plain in comparison.

  “Skye…are you okay?”

  I hadn’t spoken once. No wonder why she was giving me that look of concern. “Sorry…I just came by to talk to Cayson. Is he here?”

  “He’s in the shower. Do you want to wait?”

  All the courage I had was gone. Jasmine was the girl in his life. She wasn’t just a fuck buddy. She obviously slept over and spent most of her time with him. It was clear she adored him, even loved him. Maybe he felt the same way for her. “No…I should I go.” I turned away.

  “Do you want me to tell him you stopped by?”

  “No,” I blurted. “I’ll just talk to him later.” I turned away from the door and headed down the hallway. The door closed when I reached the stairs.

  Once I was in the stairwell and hidden from view, I sat down and pulled my knees to my chest. Intense heat burned under my eyes then gave way to moisture. My eyes fluttered slightly and tears dripped down. I didn’t bother to wipe them away. When they reached my lips, I tasted the salt.

  I covered my face with my hands and controlled my breathing. The pain was excruciating, unbearable. I wasn’t sure what my feelings for Cayson were when I drove to his place tonight. But now I knew beyond a doubt how I felt.

  I tried to push the thoughts away. I pretended they didn’t exist for as long as possible. But now the truth was hitting me right in the face like a slab of bricks. I had nowhere to hide and nowhere to run.

  I was in love with Cayson.

  But it didn’t matter anymore. He was with someone he cared about, a girl he spent most of his time with. She meant something to him. They had a relationship. They cared about each other. My feelings were irrelevant.

  I missed my chance.

  15

  Cayson

  “Two more.” Slade stood over me with his hands under the bar, ready to catch it if I needed help.

  I bent my elbows and let the weight fall to my chest. Then I pushed the bar out again.

  “One more, dude.”

  “I can count,” I said through gritted teeth.

  “Then shut up and finish it.”

  I did the last rep then let him help me stack the bar. My arms were shaking and I took a deep breath. My face was red and sweat formed at my temples.

  “You did good, man.” He patted my shoulder.

  I wiped my face with a towel. “Thanks.”

  Slade glanced over his shoulder and spotted two girls near the free weights. They were eyeing both of us, not being discreet about it. “Looks like they’re into tattoos.”

  “Or maybe into muscle.”

  “I think it’s a mixture of both. I got the blonde. You get the brunette.”

  I rolled my eyes. “For the hundredth time, I have a girlfriend.”

  “She’s not your girlfriend,” he snapped. “She’s your very clingy fuck buddy.”

  “She’s not clingy.” I sat up and rested my elbows on my knees.

  “Are you joking? Didn’t she throw a hissy fit when you were spending time with Skye because of what that fucker did to her?”

  “She was just concerned.”

  “No, she’s clingy. I hate that shit.” He rubbed his bicep while he stared at the girls. “Now you take the brunette.”

  “
Slade, no.”

  “Fine. Take the blonde. I don’t give a damn.”

  “Slade.” I gave him a firm look. “I’m not available.”

  “So, let me get this straight. You’re committed to this girl but you’re in love with Skye? Is it just me or does that sound insanely fucked up?”

  “It is fucked up. But Jasmine is aware of the situation.”

  “And she knows you spent every waking hour with Skye this week? Wiping her ass and feeding her with a spoon?”

  “In so many words…”

  Slade rolled his eyes. “I’ve fucked a lot of chicks with ridiculously low self-esteem, but I have to say she is by far the worse.”

  “You haven’t fucked her.”

  He glared at me. “You know what I mean.”

  “Well, she’s a really cool girl and I hope I can get over Skye and give her what she deserves.”

  “How’s that going for you?” he said sarcastically.

  “Stop riding my ass, Slade. I know it’s a terrible situation—especially for Jasmine.”

  “This is what I don’t get…”

  I rolled my eyes. “Here we go.”

  “Skye sleeps with you every night and holds your hand like you’re her Prince Charming. Last time I checked, she and Theo weren’t related and they don’t snuggle like bunnies in winter.”

  “Well…we’re just different.”

  “No, she has to have feelings for you. Either that, or she’s just a conniving bitch that needs all your attention.”

  I gave him the death stare. “Don’t call her that.”

  “She’s my cousin. I can call her what I want. You know how many times she’s called me an asshole?”

  “But you are an asshole.”

  “And she’s being a bitch. There’s no possible way that she’s blind to your feelings. She totally knows it and she just uses you, preys on your feelings for her so she can feel better about herself. If that doesn’t make her a bitch, I don’t know what does.”

  I pointed at a fifty-pound weight plate on the ground. “You see that?”

  “Yeah. What’s your point?”

  “I’m going to smash your skull in if you don’t stop calling her that.”

  “Whatever. Fine. I’ll call her a…dragon from now on.”

  Slade said some odds things, but that was a top contender. “What?”

  “I can’t call her the B word so I’ll call her a dragon. She breathes fire and torches your heart. She’s greedy and hoards all her gold so she doesn’t have to share it with anyone. And she’s cold-blooded—like a lizard.”

  I couldn’t think of a response to that. “You shouldn’t say anything mean about her at all. She’s your family.”

  “And family tells each other the truth. And being related doesn’t automatically make you liked. You aren’t my family but you’re more of a sibling to me than my own twin. Bloodlines don’t mean jack shit.”

  I didn’t respond because I didn’t want to encourage this conversation. I knew Slade loved his cousin, but when it came to this topic, he was vicious with her. I understood he was protective of me, but sometimes he got too emotional about it.

  Slade looked at the girls again. “I can tell the blonde wouldn’t mind it if I did the slippery dolphin on her.”

  “The slippery what?”

  “Dolphin.” He nudged my side. “You know what I mean?”

  “No. I really don’t.”

  “You know, when you pull your cock out of her pussy then slip it up her ass?”

  Slade still amazed me with some of the things he said. “I still don’t understand how we’re best friends.”

  He smirked at me. “Don’t act all innocent. I know you’ve done it.”

  I was very quiet about my personal life. Not because I cared what people thought of me, but because I wanted to respect the women I’d been with. I wasn’t the type of guy to gossip or spread rumors about a girl.

  “You don’t fuck a girl in the laundry room then pretend you’ve never done the slippery dolphin.”

  I looked at the time and ignored him.

  “I can tell what kind of girl Jasmine is. And she’s not against anal.”

  “Can we stop talking about my girlfriend now?”

  “Fine. Whatever. If you really haven’t done it, you should give it a try.”

  I drank out of my water bottle and kept my mouth shut.

  “Are you ready for Thanksgiving?”

  “Like you wouldn’t believe. I’m just not looking forward to having a magical weekend with Skye. At least Jasmine will be there.”

  Slade’s eyes were about to fall out of his head. “Hold up. You’re taking Jasmine with you?”

  “Yeah.”

  “To a holiday?”

  I nodded.

  “With your whole family?”

  “Why is this so hard for you to follow?”

  “Are you guys dropping the L word or what?”

  “No. She doesn’t have any family so I invited her.”

  “The first girl you bring to your parents is some girl you’re banging to get over Skye? Seriously, this is getting twisted.”

  “She’s coming as a friend.”

  “Your parents aren’t going to think that.”

  “Yes, they will. I’ve never lied to my father so he believes everything I say.”

  He rolled his eyes. “Kiss ass.”

  I hit his arm and pushed him off the bench.

  The two girls snickered from their corner.

  Slade glared at me. “You’re lucky I’m going to let that go.”

  “Don’t disappoint your girlfriend.”

  He came back to the bench and eyed them. “Fine. If you don’t want one, I’ll take both.”

  “Both?”

  “I’ll give them both the slippery dolphin.” He winked at me then walked to them, giving them his best moves.

  Not wanting to give one of the girls an opportunity, I went home.

  I called my dad and he answered on the third ring.

  “Hey, it’s nice to hear from you,” he said. “I feel like I’m always calling you.”

  “Because you are.”

  “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

  “I just wanted to let you know I’m bringing someone to Thanksgiving this weekend.”

  Silence ensued. My dad spoke up thirty seconds later. “You’re bringing a girl?” He couldn’t hide the excitement in his voice.

  “No. She’s just a friend. She has no family and nowhere to go this weekend so I invited her. I hope you don’t mind.”

  “Of course we don’t. The more, the merrier. But I’m having a hard time believing she’s just a friend…”

  I decided to go with the truth. “I’m sleeping with her but it’s nothing serious.”

  “That sounds complicated.”

  “It’s not. She’s okay with the arrangement but she’s my friend and I do care about her. I don’t want her to be alone on Thanksgiving.”

  “Is there a reason why she doesn’t mean more to you?”

  I wanted to tell him but he was Skye’s mom’s best friend. It was too risky. “I just don’t feel anything for her.”

  “Maybe you will…”

  “I doubt it,” I said honestly. “I really don’t want you guys to read into this. The last thing I want is for Mom to treat her like a daughter when you aren’t going to see her again down the road. Don’t get attached to her. She isn’t the woman I’m going to marry.”

  “Wow…that’s harsh,” he said with a laugh.

  “I just want you to understand what this relationship really is. So, do you understand?”

  My dad sighed. “Okay. Thanks for telling me.”

  “And tell Mom.”

  “I’ll give her a…nicer version of what you told me. I don’t think she’d be proud of you for sleeping around like Slade.”

  “It’s not like that. And frankly, what I do in my personal life is none of your business. I only told you so you would be pr
epared.”

  “Okay. Your mother has been waiting for you to bring home someone special…I guess she’ll have to wait a little longer.”

  Or a lot longer. “I’ll see you soon.”

  “Alright, Son. I love you.”

  “I love you too, Dad.” I ended the call then sighed, hoping my dad took me seriously.

  Roland pulled up to the curb then rolled down the window. “Throw your shit in the back and let’s go.”

  “Hello to you too.” I grabbed my bags and threw them in the back. Then I went inside and retrieved Jasmine’s.

  Roland cocked an eyebrow. “Dude, how much crap did you pack?”

  “Jasmine is coming.”

  “Oh.” He scratched his forehead. “Thanks for the heads up.”

  Jasmine came out with her bag over her shoulder. I could tell she was nervous.

  “You’ll have a great time. I promise.”

  She relaxed. “Okay.”

  I opened the back door and let her get inside. Then I walked back around and took the other seat.

  Skye was sitting in the passenger seat but she didn’t look at me. She didn’t say hi to me.

  “Hey, Skye. Are you feeling better?”

  She still didn’t turn around. “Yeah…”

  Roland eyed her. “Why are you in such a bad mood all of a sudden?”

  “I’m not,” she argued. She looked out the window, ignoring her brother.

  Roland turned in his seat and looked at me. “Does everyone know you’re bringing her?”

  “I called my parents yesterday,” I said.

  “Okay.” He turned around and put the car in gear. “But like I said, some notice would have been nice.”

  “Just drive,” I said irritably.

  “Am I intruding?” Jasmine asked.

  “No,” I said immediately. “Roland is just being a dick.”

  Roland looked at me in the rearview mirror. “You want to walk?”

  “You want me to slap you upside the head while you’re driving?”

  “You want me to crash?” Roland snapped.