by E. L. Todd
“This was made in 1816 by Rene Laennec—”
“The inventor of the stethoscope?” Cayson’s eyes were about to fall out of his head.
“I don’t expect you to actually use it but I thought you might like to have it.”
Cayson’s hands shook while he held it. “I don’t even know what to say…”
“Don’t say anything at all.” Uncle Mike pulled him in for a hug.
For a moment in time, I forgot about Jasmine standing close to him. I just saw Cayson, the humble and appreciative man I’d known all my life. He didn’t care about flashy gifts or expensive things. He cared about the things that really mattered. He treasured people and history.
“Thank you, Uncle Mike.” He stepped away and put the stethoscope back in the box.
“Hey, beautiful.” Uncle Mike looked at Jasmine. “I got you something too.”
“Me?” She pointed at her chest, confused.
“Come over here.” He pulled out a box and handed it to her. “I know you aren’t my niece, but if you’re important to one of my kids, you’re important to me.”
Her hand shook while she took the box.
Cayson put his hand on her hip and gave her a reassuring tap. “Open it.”
She opened the lid and saw a necklace inside. It had the Boston Red Sox symbol on it.
“I know you’re a sport fan,” Uncle Mike explained.
“I don’t even know what to say…” She felt the chain in her hands.
“Nothing. Just accept it.”
“Thank you,” she blurted. “No one has ever given me jewelry before…”
Everyone in the room tensed in sadness. It was a heartbreaking thing to hear.
Jasmine’s eyes burned with tears. “Thank you.”
“You’re very welcome.” He patted her shoulder.
Cayson led her away then put the necklace on her.
Ugh…now it was harder for me to hate her.
“And last but not least…” He pulled out the last box. “For Miss Clementine.”
She smiled and stepped in front of him.
“I’m going to be honest and say I didn’t pick this out…” He handed her the box.
She opened it and saw the heels inside. “Oh my god! These are Swank and Sharks!”
He smirked. “You can thank your Aunt Janice for those.”
She jumped into his arms and hugged him. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, kid.”
She stepped away then immediately tried them on.
Grandma and Grandpa came through the door with smiles on their faces. “Happy Thanksgiving!” my grandpa said.
“Happy Thanksgiving,” we said back.
My grandpa walked past Uncle Mike and stopped. “Ho, ho, ho. Merry Christmas!”
Uncle Mike scowled at him. “Go to hell, old man.”
The holidays were always a big celebration at the house. Just like on Christmas day when we spent three hours opening gifts. On Thanksgiving, we had too much food to eat and stomachs too small to stuff it into.
We sat at the table and scooped the food onto our plates. I tried to sit at the opposite end of the table so I wouldn’t have to look at Cayson or be anywhere near him. I was isolating myself from my cousins and friends, but I just wanted my space. I sat between Uncle Mike and Uncle Ryan with my dad across from me.
I kept my eyes glued to my own plate, but against my will, I snuck a few glances at Cayson and Jasmine. His hand was resting on the back of her chair and he engaged her in conversation. I couldn’t hear what she was saying because the conversations were too loud. But she was laughing, hanging on every word he said.
When I felt someone stare at me, I looked across the way and saw my mother watching me. She wasn’t eating, just staring. I quickly looked down and pretended I wasn’t crying over the man I couldn’t have.
When we were finished, my mom sighed. “I really don’t want to do the dishes.”
“I’ll help you, baby.” My dad patted her thigh.
“He’s still pussy-whipped after all these years,” Uncle Ryan said.
I cringed. “Gross.”
“Tone down the language around the kids, alright?” my dad said.
“They are all adults. You think they don’t talk like that already?” Uncle Ryan asked.
“I’m pussy-whipped,” Slade said. “But not by any pussy in particular.” He laughed at his own joke.
Aunt Janice smacked his arm. “Watch your language at the table.”
“But I can say it anywhere else?” he questioned.
“Just stop talking,” Aunt Janice said. “Be silent.”
“Maybe if I had some eggnog I would be…”
“If we all pitch in and do the dishes, it’ll be over quick,” Uncle Cortland said.
“You know what I say?” Grandpa said. “Paper plates next year.”
“Dad, that’s tacky,” my mom said.
“Who cares?” Grandpa said. “My grandson just said he’s in love with pussy. You can’t get tackier than that.”
Uncle Ryan laughed. “That’s my boy…”
“I’ll help,” I volunteered. It was better than watching Cayson suck Jasmine’s neck all night.
My mom gave me that look she had since I was little. She knew I was up to something.
We cleared the table and started stacking the dishes.
“Can I say something first?” Jasmine said.
Everyone stilled, not clanking their silverware and plates. It was silent.
“I really appreciate you letting me spend the holiday with you. You’ve all been so wonderful to me and I really appreciate it.” Jasmine smiled slightly then looked down.
Ugh. It was getting harder to hate this bitch.
My mom smiled. “You’re always welcome, honey.”
“I’ll drink to that.” Uncle Ryan raised his glass then clanked it against Cortland’s.
We stacked the dishes then my dad started washing them in the sink.
“I can wash them, Sean. Don’t worry about it.” My mom rubbed his back gently.
“I got it, baby. You can stack them in the dishwasher.”
She gave him a firm look. “You work all week. Let me do it.”
He turned off the water and faced her. “You think making a home and raising my kids isn’t work?”
“Well, our kids are out of the house. I can’t take credit for that anymore.”
“Just stack the dishes, baby.”
“Why don’t I—”
He crushed his mouth against hers and silenced her with a kiss. He held it for a moment before he broke away. My mom saw stars in her eyes. “Now shut up and stack the dishes.”
She blushed. “Yes, sir.”
He smirked then turned on the water.
Ugh. No matter where I went, I couldn’t get away from love. Why couldn’t someone else be miserable like I was? I wanted to go in the living room with everyone else, but I knew Jasmine would be sitting on Cayson’s lap like a damn cowgirl. But I couldn’t stay there because I was about to get run over by all my aunts and uncles.
I decided to go into the living room and join everyone on the couch. I sat in the corner, as far away from Cayson as I possibly could. Jasmine was sitting close to him, her hand on his knee.
Did it make me a bitch that I wanted to yank her hair out of her skull?
Slade was drinking his brandy right out of the bottle. “Shit, that is good.”
“You’re going to be wasted before the night is over,” Silke said.
“That’s the point.” Slade took another drink.
Theo had his glasses over his head, and Thomas did the same.
Trinity kept staring at Slade, glaring at him.
“What?” Slade barked.
“Nothing. You’re just annoying,” Trinity said.
“I’m always annoying to you.” He rolled his eyes then looked away.
Cayson moved his hand to the back of Jasmine’s neck and rubbed her gently. “I told you it
would be fun.”
“You were right.” She smiled at him, the love in her eyes.
His hand pulled a few strands of hair out of her face, just the way he did to me. I remembered the last night we slept together. He touched me just like that, lulling me to sleep. Now his hands were on her, touching and caressing her. It was making me light-headed.
“You know what I’m thankful for?” she whispered.
“What?” He lowered his voice.
“Finding you.”
I looked away, unable to bear it a second longer. I needed fresh air. I need to breathe. I couldn’t sit there and watch them love each other. Why did it take me so long to realize how I felt? Cayson hadn’t had a girlfriend in years. Why did he have to get one when I finally realized how amazing he was? But even if he didn’t have a girlfriend, he still may have rejected me. Perhaps I was doomed either way.
Without saying a word, I left my spot on the couch then walked into the backyard. Snow was on the patio and the grass. It was so cold, I instantly saw my breath. But it was dark. Shadows covered me, making me feel calm. I could distantly hear the sound of voices coming from the house. When I turned and looked through the window, I saw everyone gathered in the living room, not even noticing my absence. The only person Cayson noticed was Jasmine. I was just a friend, a sister.
“Skye?”
I recognized my mother’s voice. I’d know it anywhere. Even if I couldn’t see her, I could feel her. Her warmth was a beacon like the sun, touching everything even if it didn’t want to be touched. “Mom?”
She came closer to me, her feet crunching on the snow. When she was close enough, I could see the features of her face in the dim lighting from the house. “Why are you out here alone?”
I tightened my arms across my chest, fighting the cold. “Just to get some fresh air.”
“In the snow?” she asked incredulously.
“It was a little warm in there.”
“I see…”
I turned my body, looking at the ocean even though I could hear it.
“Skye?”
“Hmm?”
“Tell him how you feel.”
I stilled at her words. She knew. How? “What?”
“Cayson. Tell him how you feel. It would be a lot more productive than standing outside in the cold.”
I didn’t see the point in denying it. She clearly knew. “How did you know?”
“I see the way you look at him. You’ve been doing it for a while now. But the look you gave him tonight really showed it. If you don’t want him to be with anyone, why don’t you just tell him that?”
“In case you haven’t noticed, he already has a girlfriend,” I said bitterly.
“They aren’t serious.”
“He brings her to Thanksgiving just because?” I asked incredulously.
“Cortland told me Cayson brought her along because her parents abandoned her and she has no living family. And he also said Jasmine isn’t the woman he’s going to marry.”
Now I felt like a bitch for thinking so many horrible things. “He said that?”
“Yeah,” she whispered. “I’m not sure how much she means to him, but he’s not in love with her. If you’re going to say something, do it now. Before his feelings change.”
I sighed. “I’m not going to intervene. They’re in a relationship and I would hate myself if I broke that up just to be selfish.”
“It’s okay to be selfish once in a while—and for a very good reason. Skye, are you in love with him? Or do I even need to ask?”
“I…I’ve never felt this way before. Every time I see him with her, I want to die…”
“Then that answered my question. You should tell him.”
“When I went to his apartment to tell him the truth…she answered the door wearing his clothes. I got too upset so I just left.”
“Try again.”
“Mom, I don’t think he feels the same way anyway. All I’ll do is ruin our friendship and make him awkward.”
“Isn’t your friendship ruined anyway—in a twisted way?” Her voice was gentle. Somehow, her presence kept me warm enough to survive the cold.
“I can’t do it. Jasmine seems really nice and sweet…and it’s obvious she’s in love with him.”
“But he isn’t in love with her. What if he does feel the same way about you but you aren’t saying anything?”
“If he was in love with me, he would have told me by now.”
“Or maybe he didn’t because of the same reasons you’re giving. Skye, I know you’re scared. I get that. But if this is the man you want, you have to do something. Let me tell you, relationships aren’t easy. What your father and I have is a product of twenty years of marriage and ten years of friendship before that. We didn’t get here overnight. There was trial and error—over and over.”
“But that’s different. You guys are meant for each other.”
“And what makes you think you and Cayson aren’t? You’ve always had a very special relationship. We all know it.”
I stepped away. “Mom, I’m done talking about this. I appreciate you trying to help but there’s nothing you can do.”
“Skye—“
“Mom, I said no.”
She fell silent, moving close beside me. “Just think about what I said.” She turned around and headed back to the house, leaving me standing in the cold alone.
17
Cayson
“Thank you for bringing me to Thanksgiving,” Jasmine said as she sat on the couch. “It was nice not to be alone this year.”
“You’re welcome. I told you my family would love you.” I sat beside her in my apartment. The magical weekend was over and now we were back to reality. I enjoyed school, but whenever I was home, I never wanted to come back. “You’re welcome to come for Christmas.”
“I can only imagine how over-the-top that holiday is.” She smirked at me.
“It is pretty ridiculous. The adults buy all the kids gifts and they usually can’t fit in the car.”
“You’re so lucky.” A twinkle was in her eyes.
“I know.” I always knew that. In a complicated way, I had ten different parents. Jasmine didn’t even have one.
She held my hand while we snuggled on the couch. “Everything okay with Skye?”
I shrugged. “She was acting very peculiar, wasn’t she?”
“It just seems like she hates me.”
“She doesn’t,” I said quickly. “I’m not sure what her problem was but it wasn’t that.”
Jasmine sat in thought for a long time. “The other day, she…”
I turned to her, listening.
She suddenly ended the sentence. “Never mind.”
I let the subject drop.
“I’m glad your sister came around.”
I rolled my eyes. “Clementine is a diva. I hate her but I love her at the same time.”
“I think it’s cute. She’s just protective of her older brother.”
“And I think it’s annoying.”
“Why did she dislike me so much in the beginning?” she asked.
I didn’t have the heart to tell her. I already made her cry once and I didn’t want to do it again. “You’re prettier than she is.”
“I am not. She looks just like your mom.”
“My mom is pretty but Clementine is hideous. I’ve seen her first thing in the morning and at night when she puts this weird paste on her face.”
Jasmine laughed. “I’m sure you’re exaggerating.”
“Nope. It was like Halloween every night.”
She shook her head slightly. “I know I spent all weekend with you, but do you mind if I sleep with you?”
“No. You’re always welcome to stay with me.”
“Good. Because my heater is crappy and you do a much better job keeping me warm.”
“Oh, now I see how it is.” I smiled.
“And because I think you’re hot—no pun intended.”
I scooped her
up in my arms and carried her to my bedroom. “I better get started on that.”
She giggled while I carried her. “I’m looking forward to it.”
Once we were in bed, we stripped our clothes off then combined our bodies. We hadn’t had sex over the weekend because it was too awkward being down the hall from my parents’ room. But now I was eager to be inside her.
She lay under me while I rocked into her slowly. She was always excited for me, gripping me and biting her lip while she stared at me. Even though I didn’t love her, she was definitely a good lay. I leaned over her and tapped my headboard against the wall repeatedly. I felt bad for my neighbors.
“I love you…” It was so quiet, it was barely a whisper.
I wasn’t sure if I heard it at all. Was that just my imagination? When I looked down at her, her face wasn’t any different. Maybe I conjured the entire thing in my mind. I kept going, pulling her close to me while I made her feel as good as she made me feel.
The following week was pure torture. After having a holiday break, I was eager for the semester to end entirely. But that wasn’t until Christmas break. I missed sleeping in every morning. Now I was back in class, learning about chemicals and making sure my lab book didn’t get stained with liquid bromine.
I didn’t see Skye on campus. She was usually in the library with Trinity or with one of the others. But we never crossed paths. As much as I wanted her out of my head, she would never leave. I remembered her odd behavior and couldn’t help but wonder what her problem was. The last time we were together, the closeness between us was paramount. She didn’t want me to leave her side and she slept with me three nights in a row. Now she was indifferent to me. Her unpredictable nature and ability to just disregard me hurt and angered me at the same time. What could I have possibly done to piss her off?
On Friday night, Roland had everyone over for poker night. Skye and Silke usually played with us while Trinity took care of the food. But when I showed up with a case of beer under my arm, Skye wasn’t there.
The guys were gathered around the table, the cards and shots on the surface.
“So, did you give her the slippery dolphin?” Slade asked. He winked at me.
