Forever and Ever (Complete #1-7)

by E. L. Todd

  “Okay, there’s more to our relationship than that.”

  “Like what?” he demanded.

  “She and I were never close anyway. Shit, we weren’t even friends. We never liked each other. But then we hooked up and things…changed. I like being around her. I enjoy spending time with her. She’s become my best friend.” I shrugged in the middle of my words. “At some point, I realized I didn’t want her to be with anyone else. And I don’t want to be with anyone else. When she was with Reid, I knew I had to do something to stop it.”

  “Like what?”

  “I…I promised her I would try.”

  “Try what?”

  “To be something more with her. To be her boyfriend and have a happily ever after.”

  No sympathy moved into his eyes. “Let’s cut the shit, Slade. We both know you’re incapable of that.”

  “I don’t think that’s true…” My dad’s words hurt me.

  “And what progress have you made?” he asked incredulously.

  “I can’t quantify it but I know we aren’t the same as we used to be. I like spending time with her even if we don’t have sex. She’s the only person I can be myself with and not feel judged.”

  “So, you really think this is going somewhere? And if it does, you’re just going to drop that bomb on her dad?”

  “When I know I can be everything she deserves, then I was going to come clean about it—to everyone. But I didn’t want to deal with the pressure if I wasn’t absolutely sure I could do it.”

  “Does anyone else know?” he questioned.

  “Just you.”

  “You’ve managed to keep it a secret for five months?” he asked incredulously.

  I shrugged. “We’re good at sneaking around.”

  “How admirable,” he said sarcastically. He ran his hands through his hair in frustration.

  I didn’t know what else to say. I stared at the table, feeling the disappointment radiate from my father.

  He sighed then turned his gaze back on me. “Slade, do you love her?”

  The question caught me off guard. “Why are you asking me that?”

  “Because I know you aren’t stupid. You must understand what’s at risk here. You’re jeopardizing a lot, including any respect you have left. You’re risking losing Trinity altogether and isolating yourself from everyone else you claim to love. You’re leaving my relationship with Mike in the balance. If you’re going down this road, then you must have a strong reason—because Trinity can’t be that amazing in the sack. So, I’ll ask you again. Do you love her?”

  I fisted my hair slowly before returning my hands to the table. I was suddenly aware of how quiet it was in the bar. No one seemed to be around. I felt cornered. There was nowhere for me to go. My dad watched me like I was prey about to be slaughtered. The tension was so strong I felt my skin prickle. My stomach suddenly felt nauseous. I wanted to run away but I was trapped. My father held my gaze, pinning me to the chair.

  “Slade, answer me.”

  “I…I don’t know.”

  “Yes, you do. Now tell me.”

  I stared across the bar, noting the TV in the corner. A baseball game was on.

  “I have all night, Slade.”

  “No,” I whispered.

  My dad didn’t react, just staring me down. “I don’t believe that.”

  “I can’t love anyone.” I felt the emotion in my throat and I swallowed it back.

  “Why not?” he whispered.

  “I’m not good enough for anyone—especially her.”

  “That’s not true, Slade.”

  “I’m not a little boy anymore. You don’t need to lie to me to make me feel better.” I stared at my beer, seeing that the foam was completely gone. It was almost lukewarm now.

  “I’m not lying. There’s nothing about her that makes her better than you.”

  I knew that wasn’t true. “She’s one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen. Her lips are full but they aren’t too large. They blend perfectly with every curve of her face. She has these cheekbones that make her face thin and noticeable. Her neck is just as slender. Sometimes she wears these earrings that dangle from her ears, and when her hair is pulled back, she looks like a supermodel. She wears make up but she doesn’t need it. Anytime we’re together, I always think she’s out of my league.

  “And she’s smart, like really smart. She reads two books a week, and the books she likes aren’t easy to digest. She likes books about revenge, violence, and sex. Whenever she talks to me about a book she reads, she analyzes it like my English professor. Her favorite book is The Odyssey. How many girls are like that? And then she has the style of a stupid girl who’s obsessed with fashion. Everything she wears makes her look more beautiful than the previous time I saw her. And she’s funny. I can’t count the number of times she made water come out of my nose. She knows how to cook, and not just Top Ramen.

  “And despite how beautiful she is, she’s not vain about it. Actually, she doesn’t notice it. She’s one of the richest people in the world but she couldn’t care less. She could take a huge billion-dollar company but she prefers to chase her dreams. She’s…not like other girls. Every day I’m with her, I live in her shadow. Sometimes I don’t understand why she sticks around with me. I know I’m good in the sack and I give her what she wants but…I’m nothing compared to her. And the thing that surprises me most of all…she makes me feel good about myself. Despite how annoying and shallow I am, she accepts it without question. She compliments my intelligence and says she’s impressed by things I can do. She never asks me to dress better or hide my sleeves. For the first time, I feel like someone likes me for me…not just because I know my way around the bedroom.” I took a deep breath and realized I’d been talking nonstop for several minutes. My words echoed in my mind and I suddenly missed Trinity like crazy. When I turned back to my dad, he was staring at me.

  His eyes softened when he looked at me. “I was wrong. You don’t love her.”

  I didn’t react to his words. The table felt cold under my fingertips.

  “You’re head-over-heels in love with her.”

  My heart skipped a beat. I wasn’t good at expressing my emotions or even understanding them. The idea of loving Trinity frightened me. Where would it lead? Where would it go? Did I love her? I wasn’t sure. But even if I did, I could never admit it—not yet. I wasn’t sure what I could offer her. She deserved the best and I had a feeling I would never be able to give her what she needed. I could try every single day but it would never be good enough.

  “I’ll keep your secret, Slade. I just hope I don’t need to keep it much longer.” He left the booth, his glass untouched, and left me alone. My dad walked past the window toward the apartment, leaving me to my thoughts.

  I leaned back in the booth and sorted out my feelings. I’m not sure where my relationship with Trinity was going, but I knew one thing.

  We could never go back to what we were.

  4. Having You Is Never Enough

  58

  Slade

  “Trinity is the biggest paradox I’ve ever known,” Conrad said while he drank out of his red Solo cup. “She never hangs out with anyone outside of us, and yet, she can throw a huge party.”

  People were crammed into the living room while they talked and laughed. Food was on the table and there was enough beer to quench the thirst of a German army. Her bedrooms were locked, protecting her privacy and belongings. Which was a good thing since I kept a lot of my things over here. Come to think of it, I was never at my own apartment anymore.

  “It’s weird to think that people actually like her,” Roland said. He held his cup while he scanned the room. “And there are a lot of hot chicks here.”

  I knew I had to keep up pretenses. “Yeah…” I drank out of my cup then discreetly searched for Trinity. When I found her, I saw her talking to a group of people. She must have said something funny because everyone laughed. She wore dark jeans that were skintight, nude
pumps, and a yellow blouse. Her jeans hugged her ass and made it irresistible.

  “See anyone you like?” Conrad said to me.

  Not really. “That brunette over there looks easy.” She did look easy. She was wearing tall heels and shorts that practically showed her ass. A pink shirt covered her chest but left her stomach bare. She had a nice body, but she didn’t do anything for me.

  “Easy?” Roland laughed. “She looks like a prostitute.”

  “Same thing.” I put my hand in my pocket and eyed Trinity again.

  “Yo.” A tall guy wearing a black shirt patted Conrad on the shoulder. “Nice to see you, man.”

  Conrad shook his hand. “Hey, Scotty. How’s it going?”

  “Good.” He nodded to Roland but didn’t say anything to me. “Hey, what’s the scoop with your sister?”

  My eyes immediately narrowed in annoyance.

  “What do you mean?” Conrad asked. He was totally clueless to the fact that his older sister was smoking hot.

  “Does she got a boyfriend or anything?” Scott asked. “I was talking to her earlier and she was really cool.”

  Well, she was really cool. Obviously. I drank my beer and pretended not to care.

  “Boyfriend?” Conrad laughed. “Like anyone would want to date her.”

  “What’s wrong with her?” Scotty asked with a raised eyebrow.

  “Nothing,” Roland chimed in. “He just hates his sister.”

  “Hates her enough to come to her party?” he asked with a laugh.

  “Hot girls always show up,” Conrad explained.

  Scotty crossed his massive arms over his chest. He was thick and built, someone who obviously spent a lot of time lifting weights. He was larger than me, and I didn’t like that. I was toned and strong, but I was on the lean side. I didn’t mind my appearance and I knew the ladies loved it, especially Trinity. But I still didn’t like this guy.

  “How’s the rowing team?” Roland asked.

  That explained the arms.

  “Good. We’re going to the championship this year,” Scott said. “I can feel it.”

  Roland nodded.

  “So…back to your sister.” Scott eyed Conrad. “Is she single?”

  I was liking this guy less and less.

  “Yeah, she’s single,” Conrad said. “But she’s also annoying, ugly, and won’t shut the hell up.”

  Scott laughed. “I didn’t get that impression at all.”

  “Give it a few more minutes,” Conrad said firmly.

  Scott clapped his shoulder. “I’m going for it. Any tips?”

  “She likes fashion,” Roland said.

  “And she’s into voodoo,” I blurted.

  They all stopped and looked at me.

  “And she believes in dark magic and weird things.” I shook my head. “And she smells like ass. I’m pretty sure she only showers once a week. I’d stay clear of her. She has severe gingivitis.”

  Scott lifted an eyebrow. “She seemed cool…”

  “She’s not,” I said firmly. “I just saved you some time.”

  “She’s into voodoo?” Conrad whispered to Roland.

  Roland shrugged. “She always smells good to me.”

  “Well, thanks for the heads-up.” Scott nodded then walked away, heading right to Trinity.

  Fucker.

  I wished I could intervene and just hook my arm around her waist. If I kissed her right in front of the crowd, everyone would know she was mine. But no, I had to stand back and pretend she didn’t mean anything to me.

  Roland and Conrad started talking like nothing had happened.

  “Tickets for the Flying Orangutans go on sale tomorrow,” Roland said. “You want to go?”

  “I’m down,” Conrad said. “Slade, you in?”

  I was watching Scotty make his move. He stopped in front of Trinity while he smiled. Then he said something to make her laugh. He was a foot taller than her, and he held himself like he was embedded with muscle. When she laughed again, my stomach tightened.

  “Slade?” Roland asked.

  “Oh, sorry. What?” I turned back to them.

  “You okay, man?” Conrad eyed me like I might topple over and black out.

  “I’m good,” I barked.

  “So…are you down for the concert?” Conrad asked.

  “Yeah, sure.” I didn’t give a damn about a stupid concert.

  “Cool,” Roland said. “I’ll invite Cayson.”

  “I’m glad you guys are cool again,” Conrad said. “He was being a really big girl about it.”

  “You’re telling me.” Roland rolled his eyes.

  My eyes were glued to Trinity. Scott stepped closer to her, clearly engaging her in whatever conversation they were having. Why didn’t she just walk away? Why was she talking to him?

  “Who is that hunk of a man talking to Trinity?” Skye joined our circle, Cayson beside her.

  “Hunk of a man?” Cayson asked.

  “It’s an expression,” Skye said quickly.

  “It didn’t sound like one,” Cayson said darkly.

  “He’s a buddy of mine,” Conrad said. “He’s on the rowing team.”

  “That explains the arms,” Skye said. She eyed Trinity from her spot. “It looks like they’re really hitting it off…”

  “That guy is a loser,” I blurted.

  Skye looked at me. “Why?”

  “He’s just…not cool.” I drank my beer and brooded in silence.

  “I hope he asks her out,” Skye said. “She needs a good man in her life.”

  I was a good man.

  Trinity finally ended the conversation and headed toward us.

  Thank god that was over.

  Trinity joined our circle, holding a glass in her hand.

  Skye stared at her with a crazed look. “Why the hell are you talking to us?”

  “Geez, what did I do to piss you off?” Trinity asked.

  “No! I mean why did you leave that guy?” she demanded. “He’s super cute, built, and wicked smart.”

  Cayson cleared his throat.

  “But he has nothing on my man.” Skye gave him a reassuring look before she turned back to Trinity. “Isn’t he the one you’ve had a crush on?”

  What? Now I wanted to kill him.

  Trinity shrugged. “I just don’t think he’s into me…”

  Conrad laughed. “He just came over here and asked if you were single.”

  “What did you say?” Trinity demanded.

  “What do you think I said?” Conrad snapped. “Do you have a secret boyfriend I don’t know about?”

  “No,” Trinity and I said at the exact same time.

  No one questioned our in-sync response.

  Skye eyed Scotty then turned her gaze back to Trinity. “He’s checking you out as we speak.”

  “He is?” Trinity didn’t look.

  “Now ditch us and spend time with him,” Skye demanded.

  Trinity tried to squirm for an excuse. “I…uh…”

  “Give me one good reason why you’re blowing him off,” Skye demanded.

  Trinity turned to me, the apology in her eyes. We both knew we were in a rough situation. If she shrugged this guy off, it would be odd. But that didn’t mean I was happy about it. The jealous side of me came out, roaring and breathing fire.

  “You’re right,” Trinity said. “I’ll talk to him.”

  “Good.” Skye spun her around then gave her a shove.

  I clenched my jaw and squeezed my cup until it bent and broke. Beer spilled everywhere.

  “Dude, you’re getting shit all over my shoes.” Conrad stepped back and kicked the drops away.

  “Sorry.” I tossed the cup in the garbage and wiped my hands off.

  “Idiot,” Conrad muttered.

  I wasn’t listening to him. Instead, I stared at Trinity while Big Arms leaned close to her with a smile on his face.

  “We should go on a double date,” Skye said to Cayson.

  Judging by the i
rritated look on Cayson’s face, he wasn’t interested. “Don’t you think you’re jumping the gun?”

  “I think it will be fun,” Skye argued.

  There wouldn’t be double date. Shit, there wouldn’t be a single date either. Trinity could put on a show for the gang, but she better not touch him. Big arms or not, I would kick his ass if he laid a finger on her.

  Cayson crossed his arms and stared at Scotty. “What’s the big deal? He’s not even that good-looking…”

  Skye smirked at him then wrapped her arms around his neck. “Is Cayson getting jealous…?”

  “No,” he blurted. “I’m not jealous.”

  She chuckled. “He’s got nothing on you, babe. You’re the hottest guy in the room—in every room.”

  Cayson immediately dropped his sour mood. “Oh, really?”

  “Really,” Skye whispered to him. Then she leaned in and kissed him gently.

  Roland rolled his eyes. “Just shoot me.”

  “Then finish me off,” Conrad said.

  I didn’t give a damn about Cayson and Skye. I turned my gaze back to Trinity, but she was gone.

  Where the hell did she go?

  59

  Trinity

  Scott leaned against the wall while he held his cup. His eyes were startlingly blue, and he had a chiseled jaw, one that gave James Dean a run for his money. Ever since I saw him with my brother, the sparks flew. But he never showed interest in me—until now.

  “Graduation is coming. Nervous?” He sipped from his glass while he studied my face.

  “Not really. Honestly, I’m excited to get my life started.”

  “That’s right. You and Conrad have it made.”

  I hated hearing that comment from people. It got really annoying. “No. I’m pursuing a career that has nothing to do with my bachelor’s.”

  “Which is?”

  “Fashion.”

  He nodded in approval. “You’d be perfect on the runway.”

  Why do you people keep making that assumption? “No, I want to be a designer.”

  “Oh, cool. You can model your own clothes.”

  The statement was flattering, although false. “Anyway, that’s what I’m pursuing. And my dad is understanding.”