Forever and Ever (Complete #1-7)

by E. L. Todd

  “Hmm?”

  “You’re really cool.”

  “Why are you surprised?” She kept her back perfectly straight while she walked. She had a long torso that made her curves more prominent. The dip in her lower back was calling to me. I’d give anything to put my hand there.

  “You seem so serious all the time.”

  “Well, that’s true. I am.”

  “I’m just glad you have a cool side too.” I opened the door for her then walked beside her as we headed out of the building.

  “You’re pretty cool too.”

  “I know.”

  She laughed. “Cocky, much?”

  I shrugged. “I know what I have to offer.”

  “Actually, you’re nothing like what I expected. And not in a bad way.”

  “Because you thought I was a party animal and a womanizer?”

  “No.” She gripped the strap of her purse with one hand. “You’re just…really nice. You’re easy to talk to. As soon as I saw you, I thought you had one thing on your mind. You don’t look like a guy that has a hard time getting laid.”

  Now I was starting to feel guilty. Her first impression of me was completely accurate. “Well, it’s not that I can’t. I’m just looking for something else right now.”

  She shrugged. “I guess. But we’ve spent a lot of time together and you’ve never looked at me like a piece of meat.”

  Was she blind? Did she really think I wasn’t insanely attracted to her? How could she look at herself in the mirror and ever doubt her beauty? And the fact that she was a cool chick only made her more desirable to any person who came near her. “I think you’re beautiful.”

  She turned to me quickly, but there wasn’t anger in her eyes. She seemed pleased by the response.

  Should I go for it now? Ask her out on a date?

  I walked with her to her car, trying to decide what to do. This time, I didn’t ask for her permission to walk her in the dark. I just did it. She didn’t seem to mind. When we reached her piece-of-crap car, she stopped and turned to me.

  I guess I’ll go for it. If she turns me down now, she’ll always turn me down. My looks and charm wouldn’t change her mind. “Beatrice, would you like to go out sometime?” I studied her face, watching her reaction.

  “Uh…” She fidgeted with her hands, losing her confidence.

  That didn’t sound good.

  “I…I don’t know.”

  She didn’t know? Was I confused? It seemed like the past two weeks we’d spent together meant something to her. I knew I wanted her the moment I saw her. She didn’t feel the same? I saw the desire in her eyes every time she looked at me. She kept her distance, but she never put anything between us either. “Okay…” What else was I supposed to say?

  Beatrice became flustered. It was a look I’d never seen her give. “It’s just…I’m complicated.”

  “Yeah…I’ve picked up on that.” Sarcasm probably wasn’t the best idea, but it came out.

  “I’m not looking for something serious right now.”

  Neither was I. What did she want? If she just wanted a fling, I’d be down with that. But she didn’t seem like that type of girl. I was starting to get frustrated. “Then what are you looking for?”

  She fidgeted in place while she pondered my question. “Actually, I don’t know.”

  This was a dead end. Beatrice was the perfect woman and I wanted her more than any other woman, but I couldn’t have her. Inexplicably, it made me want her more. And the fact that no man could have her just heightened my need.

  I had two options. I could walk away and forget about her. Or I could fight. Normally, I would push her against the car then kiss her. But I knew such aggression would get me nowhere.

  So, what do I do? “I was under the impression you liked me…”

  “I do,” she blurted.

  “Then…what’s the problem?”

  She crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m just awkward on dates, I guess.”

  “You should give me a chance.”

  She pondered my words for a long time, her eyes guarded and her face stoic. “I can’t be anything more than friends right now. I’m sorry, that’s all I can give you.”

  Friends? I had enough friends as it was. I didn’t need more friendship, especially from her. The last thing I wanted to do was hang out with her and pretend we didn’t want to rip each other’s clothes off and just give in.

  But there was hope. She said that was all she could give me right now. What about later? Was there a later? Maybe if I just gave her what she wanted now, I’d get what I wanted in the end.

  “I can do that,” I whispered.

  Her eyes moved to mine. “You can?”

  “Yeah. As long as I get to see you, I don’t care what we are.”

  Something happened behind her eyes. Emotion welled up and burst in a crescendo, but she blinked her eyes and hid the reaction. Like nothing happened, she shifted her weight and pretended my words meant nothing to her.

  What was that about?

  She adjusted the strap of her purse then flicked her hair over one shoulder. “Well, I guess I’ll see you later, friend.”

  “Good night, sunshine.” I opened her door and yanked on it until it finally popped open.

  She gave me a bright smile before she got inside.

  After I shut the door, I waved and walked away. Once I was beyond her sight, I released a growl from my lips.

  95

  Silke

  In the back of my mind, I knew Arsen was a waste of time. As much as I wanted a happily ever after with him, when he pushed me away, it was hard for me to forgive. I wanted to be strong and just turn my back without thinking twice. More than anything, I didn’t want to care. I didn’t want him to mean anything to me.

  But he did.

  As the week progressed, he came into my mind at the most random times. When I smelled his cologne on a classmate, I wished he were there. The scent of cigarette smoke reminded me of our nighttime conversations in bed. When there was nothing to remind me of him at all, I still thought about him.

  But I didn’t call. And I didn’t text. I refused to tell him I missed him, to open my heart to him. He couldn’t treat me that way and get away with it.

  When I finished my last class on Friday, I headed to my car in the parking lot. My purse was over my shoulder and I was desperate to get home and eat. My stomach rumbled when I thought about a pizza with extra cheese.

  My phone went off in my pocket. I pulled it out, subconsciously hoping Arsen’s name would appear on the screen. But I knew it wouldn’t be him, at least not yet. He usually ignored me for two weeks until he came crawling back.

  But when I looked at the phone, I saw his name.

  My initial response was to answer it, to hear his voice. I missed him like crazy. My nights had been lonely and empty without him. But when I thought about talking to him, it pissed me off. He would get so close to me, open his heart to me, and then he would turn his back just as quickly. He loved being near the fire, but as soon as he felt the warmth, he took off.

  And I was getting sick of it.

  I’d never ignored his calls before, but I did it now. I stuffed my phone back into my pocket and pretended he hadn’t called at all.

  He called me every day for the next few days, but I kept ignoring him. Soon, he left voice mails. Knowing I wasn’t strong enough to hear his voice without melting, I deleted them without listening to his words. He couldn’t pick me up and drop me over and over. This was the last straw. I was holding my ground and I wouldn’t back down. If he really wanted to be on his own, then that was what he was getting. Maybe he would learn his lesson this time.

  The time between his calls started to decrease. My phone would buzz every hour. When it got annoying, I turned it off altogether and found something else to do.

  When he couldn’t talk to me that way, he started to text me.

  Call me.

  I deleted the message and pretended I
hadn’t read it.

  Silke, talk to me.

  Again, I ignored it.

  I’m sorry. Now pick up the damn phone.

  I turned off my phone so I wouldn’t be pestered by him anymore. I missed him like crazy, but I had to take a stand. If I didn’t, he would walk all over me. Those blue eyes made my knees weak, and that sexy voice made me melt. I missed his lips on my skin. I missed his smell. I missed everything.

  But I refused to give in.

  When I finished my classes for the day, I headed to the parking lot. I scanned the rows, trying to remember where I parked. My memory was bad, at least when it came to my car.

  When I spotted my white Toyota in the distance, I noticed a man leaning against it, wearing a black jacket and a clenched jaw. His eyes were searing blue and beautiful. He held his phone in his hand and was reading something.

  Since Arsen hadn’t noticed me, I turned around and walked back into the building. Then I pulled out my phone.

  Are you on campus? I waited for Denise to respond.

  No, I’m home. What’s up?

  Never mind. I didn’t want Denise to drive all the way back just to give me a ride. I texted Conrad next. I need a ride.

  I need a blow job. What’s new?

  Can you give me a ride or not?

  Where are you?

  On campus. Are you?

  Yeah. What’s wrong with your car?

  Nothing. I just need a ride.

  He didn’t ask questions. Fine.

  Conrad dropped me off in front of my apartment. “Why did you need a ride?”

  “I’m a little drunk,” I lied.

  He glanced at the time. “It’s three o’clock on a Wednesday.”

  “I get started early.”

  He narrowed his eyes at me. “Is everything alright, Silke?”

  “I’m fine. Get off my back.” I opened the side door.

  Conrad only applied more pressure. “Seriously, what’s going on?”

  I rolled my eyes. “A guy I was seeing was waiting for me by my car. I didn’t want to deal with him.”

  He didn’t like that response. “You want me to take care of it?” The threat was in his voice. “Because I’ll beat the shit out of him. Then he’ll leave you the hell alone.”

  Conrad was a strong guy, but I had a feeling Arsen would win. He’d grown up on the streets and had a lot of tricks up his sleeves. “That’s unnecessary. I’m just teaching him a lesson.”

  He didn’t seem reassured. “Seriously, Silke. If you need me to take care of it, I will.”

  “I can take care of myself.” I grabbed my purse. “I’ll see you later, alright?”

  He sighed. “Okay. I’ll talk to you later.”

  I shut the door then walked inside. Arsen would probably be there until late at night. Then he would realize I saw him and took off. He wouldn’t come to my door because that wasn’t his style. But he would if he got desperate enough.

  And I would still ignore him.

  Now Arsen was going crazy. He blew up my phone with constant calls, my inbox was full of voice mails, and my text messaging was disabled because he was flooding it with long messages that took up most of my data.

  I didn’t blink an eye over it. If he wanted to be with me, he needed to stop pushing me away. I wasn’t putting up with it anymore. It was my way, or no way.

  I was going out with Denise and Charlotte that night. I needed a few drinks to loosen up. My week had been full of term papers and evading Arsen left and right. Some tequila would be nice.

  I wore skintight black jeans, black pumps, and a yellow blouse. My hair was done, and I painted my face with makeup. After the girls picked me up, we went to a bar in Boston.

  The moment we got a table, admirers sent drinks.

  “You know how much money I save every year on drinks?” Denise asked. “Like, a lot.”

  “Being a girl is awesome.” Charlotte sipped her cosmo then smiled. “Man, that’s good.”

  I drank my margarita, loving the taste of tequila. “To being a girl.” I tapped my glass against theirs and then downed half the contents.

  Denise took another drink then made a sour face. “Damn, that was strong.”

  It wasn’t strong enough for me. “I’m going to need another one in a second.”

  Denise looked toward the bar. “Someone buy my friend another round.”

  Like magic, a waiter brought it by.

  I rolled my eyes. “It’s one thing for them to buy our drinks voluntarily, and another to make them do it.”

  “I didn’t make them do anything.” She flipped her hair and enjoyed her glass.

  “Whatever happened with Arsen?” Charlotte asked. “You haven’t talked about him in weeks.”

  Just thinking about him pissed me off. “We’re having a fight right now.”

  “For two weeks?” Denise asked incredulously. “What did he do?”

  I didn’t like to discuss our relationship with people since they would never understand. “He’s just being annoying. I’ve been dodging his calls for a while.”

  “That doesn’t sound good,” Charlotte said.

  “Well, that’s how it goes…” I shook my glass then crossed my legs.

  “Hunter was so bummed you had a boyfriend,” Denise said. “And he said he doesn’t like Arsen.”

  Not many people did. “Hunter is a nice guy. I feel bad for getting his hopes up.”

  “So, if you and Arsen don’t get through this ‘fight,’ would you give him a chance?” Denise asked.

  Charlotte gave me a hard stare like she couldn’t wait for my response.

  I didn’t see Hunter like that. Actually, I didn’t see anyone like that. Just Arsen. “I don’t know…it’s hard to say.”

  “Why?” Charlotte asked. “He’s cute and smart…and not complicated.”

  Hunter probably would be a better choice.

  “Don’t get me wrong,” Denise said. “Arsen is as hot as they come, but that heat is going to run out eventually. I say you go for the good guy this time.”

  “This time?” I asked.

  “Yeah,” Charlotte said. “You always think the dangerous ones are hot.”

  I’d never noticed it was a pattern. “Arsen and I will work it out. He’s difficult and confusing, but I know we’ll pull through.”

  “I’ve never been in a serious relationship,” Denise said. “But I’m pretty sure they’re supposed to make you happy, not make you miserable every other day.”

  I was getting sick of defending Arsen, especially when I knew in the back of my mind they were right. “You have a point. I’ll consider it.”

  Denise shot a glance at Charlotte. “She isn’t going to listen to us.”

  “Nope.” Charlotte shrugged then drank from her glass.

  I didn’t bother saying otherwise.

  We downed our drinks and talked about school and work. Denise had a midterm that she barely passed, so now she was worried about ruining her GPA. Charlotte was a theatre major, so she was constantly sharing lines from her next play. My friends were accomplished and smart. It was probably why we got along so well. Truthfully, I didn’t know what I was doing with my life. I loved art and wanted to be a curator for a museum or gallery, but I knew that was an unlikely job prospect. Sometimes I was jealous of my brother Slade. He’d known exactly what he wanted to do since he was five. He even settled down with a nice girl. The fact that my brother could commit against all odds gave me more faith in Arsen. If Slade could do it, anyone could.

  “My bladder is about to explode,” I blurted. “I’m headed to the bathroom.”

  “When you give us too much info, we know you’re drunk,” Denise said.

  “No,” Charlotte said. “When she starts kissing us, we know she’s drunk.”

  “Then don’t go into the bathroom,” I said. “Because I’ll probably kiss you in there.”

  Denise laughed and waved me away.

  I walked across the crowded room and headed to the bat
hroom. A guy pushed into me on accident. I stumbled then kept going, not bothering to listen to his apology. When I finally made it through the sea of people, a mountain blocked me.

  Arsen blocked my path, looking down at me with burning eyes.

  Was he real? Or was I just imagining this? I missed him so much that I wouldn’t be surprised if I were hallucinating the entire thing. “Um, what?”

  His eyes narrowed in anger. His jaw was clenched tightly, and he was practically seething. He wore a black jacket that made his shoulders look broader than normal. His height surpassed mine by a foot, making me feel even smaller than usual. “What?” A growl escaped his lips. “I’ve been trying to talk to you for weeks. What do you mean what?”

  His words synced with his lips, so I knew he was real, not just an apparition. “Okay, so you are real? I’m not imagining this, right?” I swayed on my feet slightly.

  That just pissed him off even more. “How drunk are you?”

  “Not sure…” I tried to walk around him to get to the bathroom.

  He grabbed my arm. “I’m talking to you.”

  “And I’m not listening to you,” I snapped. “I want you to go away and leave me alone.”

  Arsen tightened his grip and yanked me toward him. “That’s too damn bad.”

  I twisted my wrist the way my brother taught me, forcing him to drop his hold. “I’ve been wanting to talk since the day we met. You can’t just pick me up and drop me whenever you feel like it. I’m a person, Arsen, not a dog or a cat. I’m a fucking person.” Spit flew out of my mouth because I was so angry. Perhaps the alcohol was making me explode, but I was on the verge of kicking his ass right then and there. “I’m sick of your bullshit and the way you treat me. If you want to leave, fine. I’m not going to stop you. But don’t expect me to wait around for you. I’ve moved on. So get out of my life.”

  Arsen stared at me with an expression I couldn’t read. “Silke, I’m so—”

  “Don’t bother.” I stormed off and headed into the bathroom. Once I was inside, I could breathe easy. My bladder was screaming at me, so I walked into the stall and finally relieved myself.