Accidentally Yours

by Jerry Cole

  The leaves rustled and I balled my fists and turned to meet the attack, only to be charged by a four-legged assailant with a wagging tail and his ears pulled back. I stood still as the dog walked over to me as if we knew each other. His greeting was a little timid at first but became increasingly exuberant as it became clear that I wasn’t going to reject him.

  He stank. He was dirty. He looked hungry. He was coming with me.

  I don’t know what inspired me to invite a strange dog into my house, but the next thing I knew I was escorting this stinky dog into my brownstone. Over the next hour, we both managed to get a shower, eat some dinner and introduce ourselves. I called him Shaolin because he seemed to be particularly interested in the old kung-fu movie playing on TV. That was the moment that I realized I’d never had a dog before and had no idea what to do next. There was only one person I knew who had experience with dogs, but it was late and I didn’t want to intrude.

  On the other hand, it was late, and I needed a few answers before I went to sleep. Also, I was looking for an excuse to call him, and this was as good as any.

  He picked up on the third ring and sounded wide awake.

  “Hey, I think a dog just adopted me and I’m freaking out,” I confessed.

  “What?” I heard some clicking and shuffling over the line and assumed that he’d been working until this moment so I didn’t feel so guilty about calling late at night.

  “I came home and this dog just walked right up to me like he’d been waiting for me to get home. He followed me in the house and we took a shower and had some dinner.”

  “You showered together?”

  “Not together exactly, but we both needed to get clean.”

  “Okay.”

  The amusement in his voice crackled over the phone line. I could almost hear his smile and found myself smiling as well. Jesus, this guy was doing things to my peace of mind that I wasn’t sure either one of us was ready to handle.

  “Anyway, we ate dinner. He was starving. He ate like a whole stack of burger patties. And now I don’t know what to do.”

  “How long ago did he eat?”

  “Maybe an hour ago.”

  “Do you have a yard with a fence?”

  “Yeah, the backyard.”

  “Let him out in the backyard before he shits on your floor.”

  I jumped out of my seat and Shaolin followed me. I went over to my back door and opened it wide. He seemed to know exactly what to do and walked out without any coaxing.

  “Oh yeah, right. Why didn’t I think of that? See, this is why I called you. I never got a puppy for my birthday. I have no idea what I’m doing here.”

  “Do you have a room where you can keep him overnight?”

  “The laundry room. Why?”

  “You don’t know if he’s trained or not, and he might be sick. Until you can get him seen by a vet, keep him in the laundry room. Don’t give him any more food or water until morning. In the morning, let him out back again to do his business and then feed him.”

  “What do I feed him?”

  “You can run to the store and buy dog food or you can just keep giving him meat and veggies. Just no onions, garlic, or chocolate.”

  “Oh.”

  “What kind of dog is it?”

  I looked out the window at the big brown dog circling the perimeter of my tiny back garden.

  “He looks like Friendly, but bigger and brown. He’s got the most amazing eyes.”

  “Sounds like a pit bull or a pit bull mix. They look scary but they are actually really wonderful pets.”

  “Ian?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Can you come over in the morning?”

  “What?” He sounded shocked. I doubted that he got a lot of invitations to socialize. I wasn’t one to pry, but if our last meeting was any indication, his anxiety was pretty bad. Unfortunately, I was also pretty desperate. I felt like somebody just turned up at my door with a kid that looked just like me and then left me to sort it out.

  “I just have no idea what I’m doing here and you seem to know a lot about dogs. Would you mind? I don’t even know where to begin looking for a vet.”

  “Umm…that might not be a good idea. How about I meet you somewhere and we can go to my vet. She’s great and there’s a pet supply next door so you can get everything you need.”

  “Okay, great! Text me the address and I’ll see you there bright and early.”

  “Don’t you have to be at work?”

  “That’s the benefit of being the boss,” I said.

  “Yeah, I guess so.”

  “Thanks in advance, for everything.” I have to admit I had no idea what I meant. He was introducing me to a vet, not donating a kidney! But somehow it felt special because I knew it was hard for him. I was just so grateful that he agreed to help me.

  “Umm, it’s okay. And, uh, Josh?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Thank you for calling...I mean you could’ve called anybody, so thank you for trusting me.”

  “As strange as this sounds, I couldn’t think of anybody else to call about something like this. It had to be you.”

  In my mind, I could see his hesitant and pensive face slowly transform into a wide smile. I was imagining things, I was sure. But it felt right.

  “Yeah, umm, so goodnight.”

  He hung up so abruptly I was tempted to call him back just to…

  To do what exactly? Listen to him smile and breathe on the line? I was losing it. I was quickly developing a serious crush on this guy and that was a bad idea. My rational mind understood it perfectly. We’d met under very dramatic circumstances. In a way, he was my knight in shining armor. And it turns out that he’s cute as well. Although some people would be thrown by his anxiety, it only made him seem braver to me. And the dog was a definite bonus.

  Who wouldn’t have a crush on him? But it was important that I remember that it was just an emotional response to a stressful situation, not the real thing.

  That’s what I told myself as I coaxed Shaolin into the laundry room and made sure all the windows and doors were locked. That’s what I told myself as I climbed into bed. That’s what I told myself when I woke up and drove across town to meet Ian and Friendly.

  And then I saw him standing on the corner, looking like he couldn’t make up his mind whether he wanted to melt into the cement or run for his life but still determined to follow through with what he said he would do. He looked like a college student, wearing an orange backpack, sweater, and jeans that looked clean but worn. He was nothing like the kind of man I should be attracted to, but I couldn’t deny the stirring in my chest when I saw him. I knew there wasn’t enough rational, intelligent, reasoning in the world to convince my heart that my feelings weren’t genuine. I liked Ian Lewis, and there was no reason to believe that he would ever like me.

  Chapter Five

  “How was your new friend last night?”

  I was trying not to sound like a complete dork. Josh walked across the street with the brown and white pit bull in tow. The two of them together looked like the coolest kids in school; all they needed was theme music playing in the background and the ability to move in slow motion. It almost seemed like the sun shined a little brighter right where they were.

  I felt even weirder and more awkward than I had the last time. Somehow the addition of a dog had made Josh cooler.

  “I could hardly sleep. I just kept worrying about him downstairs all on his own,” he said.

  “He didn’t howl or anything?”

  “No, he seemed okay. He was pretty happy to see me in the morning though.”

  I watched as the strange dog greeted Friendly. They did the doggy dance, sniffing each other’s butts, and circling each other carefully.

  “Well, he’s not dog-aggressive,” I said.

  “Oh.”

  “It means he doesn’t instantly want to fight as soon as he sees another dog.”

  “That’s good, right?” He looked so clueles
s; it was impossible not to take pity on him. It was also charming.

  “It means he’s been socialized well.” I turned away from him and pointed to the vet’s office. “They have walk-in hours today, so we don’t need an appointment.”

  “Okay, let’s go.”

  I hesitated and he watched me with an expectant grin.

  “What is it?”

  “Stool sample,” I said, much quieter than I’d intended.

  “A what?”

  “They’ll need a stool sample,” I handed him a small poop bag from the roll in my pocket. “It’s scented.”

  “How do I make him poop?”

  “How long ago did you feed him?”

  “Maybe more than an hour or so, but I let him out in the yard,” he looked bewildered. I felt bad for him. I probably should’ve advised him to grab a baggy full of dog poop before he left the house.

  “Don’t worry, just walk him around on the grass over there. Hopefully, he will take the hint.”

  He led Shaolin over to the grass and let the dog wander, nose to the ground, for ten minutes. After it became clear that this was not, in fact, our lucky day, he came over and shrugged his shoulders.

  “What now?”

  “There’s still one way to get the sample, but it’s better to let the vet handle it,” I said.

  We walked into the tiny vet’s office and took a seat. It was mid-morning on a Friday, so most people were at work. There was only a giant lizard in line ahead of us.

  “You can handle this,” he said. Not “can you handle this?” as most people do. I looked up at him and he gave me a reassuring nod before taking his seat as if nothing was wrong.

  When the vet tech called him back into the examining room, I gave him a thumbs up and waited. He looked back at me like a nervous kid on the first day of school. Once again, I caught myself thinking how adorable he was. The whole affair took twenty minutes before he was back in the waiting room with a bag full of supplies, pamphlets, and a dog that looked no worse for wear. He handed me the leash while he fished his wallet out of his pocket.

  “Did you know they can just shove a magic wand up the dog’s behind?”

  I burst into laughter.

  “I take it you already knew this.”

  I nodded, “Yeah, I was aware.”

  “How in the hell is that legal? I felt so bad for him to have some lady lift his tail and violate him like that without any warning.”

  “What else did she say?”

  “He seems to be in good health. It looks like he probably had an owner and ended up on the streets some kind of way. He didn’t have a microchip but I had them put one in. His balls are gone, I didn’t really notice that before, but it saved me having to make another trip.”

  “Yeah, somebody was probably planning on keeping him forever,” I said, trying not to sound sad. Abandoned dogs always made me very sad. I knew it wasn’t always the fault of the owners. Life happens to us all. But growing up in the foster care system, I understood in a unique way what it’s like to discover that you were truly alone all of a sudden. You never really know why, even when you think you do. You just know that they moved on without you.

  “Well, somebody else’s loss is my gain, right!” He took the leash out of my hand, brushing my palm with his fingertips. I don’t know why I was so aware of his presence, but it threw me off.

  “You’re going to keep him?”

  “I’m going to need a lot of help. Other than a whole bunch of house plants and a bag full of goldfish, I’ve never had a pet before.”

  “Do house plants count as pets?”

  “They do if you sing to them?”

  I found myself really wanting to hear him sing. He had a funny accent that I couldn’t quite place. Not really southern, and not really foreign, but a strange amalgamation of the two. Like what a Texan might sound like after spending a decade or two living in Europe. It was charming.

  "Don't you want to try and find his owner? Maybe he wasn't abandoned. Maybe he's just lost. They could be looking for him."

  Josh shook his head and turned to face me fully.

  "The way I see it, he chose me. He didn't have to but he did. And I never pass on any opportunity for a good thing and having him around seems like a pretty good thing to me."

  I got the distinct impression that he was talking about something much deeper than his new pet, but I knew better than to pry. We all have our secrets, and I certainly had mine. Instead, I changed the subject.

  "Let's go and get you two sorted. Dogs can be expensive so I hope you brought your credit card."

  "Don't you worry about that. You’ve got to invest in the things that matter, right?" He held my gaze for a beat before following me through the door.

  We went next door and loaded up on the essentials and an arm full of dog toys. It took us longer than I thought it would because I had to give him a crash course on basic pet care as we shopped. But I was surprisingly relaxed and in my element. I was even able to release Friendly to play with Shaolin for a few minutes while Josh and I discussed the finer points of grooming and groomers. I looked up and two hours had passed and I was having a good time.

  "Why don't I pay for this stuff and then we can go and get some coffee or something? "

  Once again, I was shocked by his invitation. I immediately started doing the calculations in my head. How long had I been outside? What was the likelihood I'd be able to handle sitting in a busy coffee shop? Did he have some ulterior motive? Could I escape and make it back to my house if things turned sour?

  "Hey, you don't have to. I know you probably have other things to do. I just wanted to say thanks and buy you a cup of coffee and maybe a sandwich."

  I shook my head. He'd obviously caught me doing the mental gymnastics that come with my illness. It was embarrassing, but he was the one blushing.

  "It's not that. I'd really like to go. I do most of my work at night anyway," I explained. "I just wonder if I can handle it. I'd hate to have a panic attack in public."

  "Truth be told, that car backfiring last time scared me too. I nearly shit my pants. "

  "Exactly, and that would do nothing for my anxiety," I added.

  "What? Shitting your pants?"

  "Yeah, that too," I laughed.

  "How about we take these two somewhere quiet where they can run and we get something from a food truck?"

  I couldn't keep the stupid grin off of my face. I knew he was just being nice. From his perspective, I'd saved his ass twice and he was likely going to need a little more advice as he adjusts to having Shaolin in his life. Of course, he was being nice, but it was still the equivalent of rock star treatment to me. It's kind of sad to think how much I'd gotten used to being alone or ignored.

  "Okay, but just no puppicinos."

  "What the hell is a puppicino?"

  "It’s a sample cup full of whipped cream. Some coffee places offer them for your dog, but don't buy it. Not unless you want to be cleaning dog poop out of your carpets for three days. I speak from experience. "

  He started to laugh and the sound startled me. He reached over and patted my head the way I'd seen older brothers do to younger siblings. Despite my racing heart his smile and his touch felt warm instead of scary. I almost leaned in closer. Almost.

  “Okay, you’re the boss,” he said. I followed him to his truck and helped him load his purchases into the back. “Okay, hop in, you tell me where to go.”

  I froze. Again, my heart began to race and I started doing the math. If I get in the car, can I escape? Can I make it back home? I clutched the straps of the backpack I was carrying. I told myself that I was prepared for almost anything, but would I need to be?

  “How about we just walk?” I offered quickly. He looked me up and down really quick but agreed without hesitation. He didn’t say anything but I knew he caught me. “When I was sixteen, I was abducted and beaten to a pulp and then...it was pretty traumatic. It’s not that I don’t trust you—”

  �
��I get it. You don’t know me very well. For what it’s worth, I wish more people were a little more paranoid about that kind of thing. Trusting people too much is a good way to end up fucked up on the floor of a bathroom, calling strangers to come help,” he said, his tone was sad for the first time since I met him.

  Until that moment I think I forgot how we first met. He was handling it better than I would’ve but it had to be pretty traumatizing for him as well. Until then he’d seemed like a superhero to me if being a normal, functional adult could be considered a superpower. Remembering how I found him brought him down to earth a little. He didn’t seem so perfect, though he maintained his spot as the coolest person I knew. Just now, instead of flying among the stars he seemed like he was approachable.

  Trustworthy.

  I opened the passenger side door and Friendly jumped in first.

  “Sometimes, when you take a chance, good things happen.”

  He started the truck and I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and willed myself not to panic. I wasn’t trapped. I’d gotten into the truck willingly. And most importantly, Josh wasn’t that kind of person. I didn’t have any real proof but I decided if Shaolin could bet his whole life on the kindness of this stranger, I could too.

  He rolled the windows down before we pulled out into traffic. I knew it was for my benefit, but neither of us said anything. I was breathing easier because of it. As we picked up speed both dogs stuck their heads out of the windows, embracing the sunshine and the sights and smells of the city, and for a few minutes, I felt like I could too. Sitting next to Josh, with Friendly and Shaolin in tow, I felt free. I turned to look at him and the corners of his mouth were turned up slightly.

  “This is fun. Thank you,” I said.

  “No, thank you again. I would be lost if you hadn’t agreed to help me out.”

  “Aww, I would’ve wasted another day inside if you hadn’t called me. I should get out more.”

  “What are you working on now?”

  “Right now, I’m working on a cartoon strip for a group called Seven Generations. They teach kids about the environment and stuff.”

  He nodded his head. He didn’t take his eyes off the road but I could tell that he was listening. His whole body seemed like it was turned toward me, attuned to my presence in his truck. Or maybe I was projecting. My therapist said that I had a habit of assuming things about others.