Your Next Breath

by Iris Johansen

  “How?”

  “What do you care? You prefer hiding to confrontation.” She was striding down the trail. “If you change your mind, I’ll be glad to have your help.”

  “Taunting isn’t going to make me do what you want,” he said quietly. “You have your own agenda, just like Santos.”

  “No, but maybe this will help you to trust me.” She turned to face him as she reached the stream. “Cameron has hired a very talented man who is every bit as deadly as Dorgal. His name is Rafael Dario. We’ll have his men protect your mother and nephew from Santos. He’d protect you, too, if you’d allow it. But your family will definitely be protected. You can feel safe that whatever you do, nothing is going to happen to them.”

  “I’m supposed to believe you?”

  “Believe what you wish. I’ve told you what I’m going to do.”

  “Why?”

  “Perhaps because I’m not a monster like Delores Santos. Or perhaps because this isn’t over, and I’ll be back to ask you again to help us get Santos. Or maybe I’ll call you and ask you if you’ve changed your mind.” She scrawled her cell number on a card and gave it to him. “Or you can call me. I’ll have Dario pick you up.”

  Montez’s lips tightened. “I don’t promise you anything.”

  “But I’ve made you a promise, and I’ll keep it. Now get out of here.”

  He stood there looking at her, his expression a myriad of conflicting emotions.

  “Go!”

  He started to turn. “Maybe you’re not like his Delores…”

  “Thank you. I might remind you that I shot Delores Santos.”

  “Oh, yes, but you don’t have to remind me of that.” He hesitated. “I have friends. I’ll know if you’re telling the truth about having Dario protect my family.”

  “Good. Now get out of here before you ruin everything.”

  He hesitated once more, staring at her, then at Cameron.

  Then he was gone.

  “You rolled the dice,” Cameron said. “Interesting. But I would have handled it differently.”

  “Get Dario on the phone and tell him to protect Montez’s family.”

  “Oh, I will. But I’ll also tell him to track down Montez near that monastery and keep an eye on him in case we need to talk to him again.”

  “That was going to be my next request.” She slanted him a smile. “And I know you would have handled it differently. We have different skills and viewpoints. I believe him, and I think he has to come to us. But I also remember how patient you were with Erin when you were trying to recruit her. You aren’t totally ruthless.” She shrugged. “Besides, I still have that book he was so eager to get back.”

  “Keeping the book was the only thing that we agreed on. And the circumstances with Erin were different. I’m still angry with Montez for hurting you. I think it’s going to take a long time for me to get over that.” He shrugged. “We shall see. You get a branch and erase the prints Montez just made going back down the trail. I’ll get busy blurring these footprints so well that we’ll make Dorgal dizzy, and he’ll end up back at San Esposito.”

  ST. JOSEPH’S HOSPITAL

  ATLANTA, GEORGIA

  “Progress?” Eve asked softly.

  Caleb glanced up at Eve as she came to stand beside Jane’s bed. “Yes and no. I think by tomorrow I might ask you to have that Dr. Basle have another look at her and reevaluate his opinion about the graft.”

  “Thank God.”

  “Yeah.”

  “So what’s the no?”

  “He might decide to do it before I can get her ready for it.”

  “Then we’ll not bring him in again yet. We’ll give her some more time.”

  “I don’t have any more time.”

  She inhaled sharply. “That’s not possible. All the doctors gave her seven to ten days. You’ve only been working with her for two days.”

  “I told you that they couldn’t be sure of the time factor when the blood was concerned.”

  “But only two days? It should be longer than that.”

  “Yes.”

  Her hand grasped his shoulder. “Talk to me. Don’t you sit there and give me one-word answers. Why is she going downhill?”

  He twisted around to look at her. “Why?” His eyes were glowing fiercely in his taut face. “Because of me. Because that’s where she wants to go. Because she’s afraid of what I’m doing.”

  “Then do something to change it.”

  “Do you think I’m not trying? No one knows better than you how stubborn Jane can be. Well, she’s made up her mind, and she won’t let go of him.”

  Her fingers dug into his shoulder. “Trevor?”

  “Who else? I’ve been trying to offer substitutes. She loves her dog, her work as an artist, the beauty of the world around her. It’s all important to her, but it’s not enough.” He got to his feet. “I’m glad you’re here. I was going to come and get you anyway. It was time I brought in the big guns.”

  “And that’s what I’m supposed to be?”

  “You know you are. She loves you, she respects you, she’ll listen to you.”

  “She’s in a coma. I wasn’t even sure that she was aware I was talking to her.”

  “She’s aware. She was just shutting you out. She tried to do the same thing to me, but I wouldn’t let her. So she started to go down deeper.” He pushed her down into the chair he’d just vacated. “It’s over to you now. I brought her halfway back. You keep her on the right track and away from Trevor.”

  “It sounds easy,” she said bitterly.

  “Easier than letting her go.” His eyes were suddenly blazing. “Do you know how hard it is for me to leave her now? I want to do it all. But she won’t let me that close to her.” He turned on his heel. “So you do it, and I’ll reach out as much as I can. Get busy.”

  Get busy.

  It was an order she’d be glad to obey if she only knew how to start.

  The only way to begin was to start in the beginning.

  And hope that Caleb’s certainty that Jane could hear her was right.

  She took Jane’s hand. “Caleb says that you can hear me and are just pretending and shutting me out. If you are, it’s because you’re confused. You wouldn’t deceive me. We’ve always been honest with each other. Or have we? You told me that it was fine that we were best friends, and you didn’t want to replace Bonnie as my daughter. Was it true? You’d been through so much growing up on the streets that I thought your defenses were too high for any other relationship. Hey, I was wounded and damaged, too. Maybe I accepted what you said because of that. I hope not. I was an adult, and you were a child. It was my job to give you whatever you needed.” She leaned back in the chair, her mind going back to those years of watching Jane grow and change and become a woman. “But how I loved you. I realized how special you were, and you filled Joe’s and my lives with joy. Can you feel that love, Jane? It’s still there and as powerful as ever. I love you so much that I’d let you go if I thought it was best for you. But it’s not best; you have so many things to do, so many loves to know. And even after all these years, we still have so much to learn about each other. You have to stay with me, and I’ll watch you and love you, and maybe we’ll come to understand why we were meant to be together. Okay?” She drew a shaky breath. “Are you saying yes? It’s very hard to know without your opening your eyes and smiling at me. I really wish you would do that.” Her hand tightened on Jane’s. “Not ready yet? Then let’s talk about Trevor. Caleb says that you want to be with him. Understandable. You’ve loved him since you were only seventeen. I remember you came back from Scotland and told me how dizzy he made you. You were young and not sure if it was anything deeper. We were sitting on the porch and looking out at the lake. And we talked about velvet nights, which was sex, then silver mornings, which might mean something deeper. I know you remember that night because we’ve talked about it since then, and it was important to you, too. But you realized something else as we talked about i
t, didn’t you? Remember, Jane?”

  * * *

  Silver mornings … Eve put her cup down on the railing and sat down on the step beside Jane. “A relationship that changed the way you see everything?” She put her arm around Jane. “Fresh and clean and bright in a dark world. May you find that someday, Jane.”

  “I already have them.” She smiled at Eve. “You give one to me every day. When I’m down, you bring me up. When I’m confused, you make everything clear. When I think there’s no love in the world, I remember the years you gave me.” She leaned her head contentedly back on Eve’s shoulder. “Silver mornings aren’t restricted to lovers. They can come from mothers, fathers, sisters, and brothers, good friends … They can all change how you see your world, too.”

  “Yes, they can.”

  They sat in silence for a long time, gazing out at the lake in contentment. Finally, Eve sighed. “I suppose we should go in.”

  Jane smiled. “Hell, let’s not go to bed. Let’s wait for the dawn and see if it comes up silver.”

  * * *

  “I’ll always remember your smile that night,” Eve said unsteadily. “It lit up your face, and it lit up my life. Because I knew that no matter what happened between you and Trevor, the love between us was going to go on. And when later you realized that Trevor was the silver morning that you wanted to fill your life, I rejoiced. When he was killed, I mourned.”

  “But I think you forgot that there are other silver mornings, and now you have to remember that night on the porch. Let me help you remember. Open your eyes. Come back to me.”

  Jane didn’t move.

  She repeated unsteadily, “Dammit, you come back to me.”

  * * *

  Hold on, Eve. She’s so close to you. She’s almost there.

  Caleb’s gaze was zeroed in on Jane’s face from where he stood outside the ICU.

  He could feel the emotion Jane was experiencing. He’d been right to send Eve to do what he could not do. God, he’d wanted to be able to bring her back on his own.

  But Jane was slipping back again.

  “No!”

  There was something in the background.

  No, someone in the background.

  Trevor, get the hell away from her. Let me take her. You’re the only one holding her back. I know you don’t want her to stay with you now. But you’re having trouble leaving her. Let her see you turn your back and walk away.

  Struggle. Pain. Resignation.

  Gone.

  Caleb’s relief was mixed with a strange sadness.

  I don’t think I could have done it, Trevor. You always were the white knight.

  * * *

  “Okay, Jane,” Eve moistened her lips. “That was only the first foray. Let’s try again. I’m not going to give up. I was just hurting and got a little frustrated when I couldn’t—”

  “Shh,” Caleb was standing beside her. “You’ve won the battle. She’s with you. She’s just saying good-bye to him. She knows it’s final now.”

  “She’s with me?” Eve’s gaze flew to meet his eyes. “Does that mean that—”

  “It means I have a chance to make sure that Basle does his job. You can let go of her hand now. I’ll take over.”

  “No…”

  Both of their eyes flew to Jane’s face at the mere wisp of sound. Her eyes were open, and she was looking at Eve.

  “Oh, my God,” Eve whispered. “You’re awake, baby.”

  “You wouldn’t … let … me go. Right … But hurts. Sorry.” Her hand tightened on Eve’s. “Stay.”

  “Of course, I’ll stay. But Caleb needs to—”

  “No.”

  “Yes,” Caleb said. “But I’ll draw up a chair to the other side of the bed. You can stay with her, Eve. But don’t let her talk any more.” He turned to leave. “I’ll go tell the head nurse that she’s no longer comatose, then go find Joe and give him the good news. Then I’ll be back.” He looked at Jane. “I’ll always be back. I know that you’re resenting me. I expected it.” His lips twisted. “I’ve always been the black knight, never the white knight like Trevor. But I’m the one who will keep you surviving in this wicked old world.”

  “No … I’ll … do … that.” Her lids were closing again. “Can’t let— You’re all … fire and darkness … no silver … mornings.”

  “No?” He headed for the door. “Do you know I actually felt a twinge when you said that? I’ll have to think about it and decide if I need to work on changing your mind. Take care of her, Eve. The minute the word gets around that she’s out of her coma, it raises the possibility that Santos could move against her.”

  * * *

  “We’re on our way back, Hu Chang,” Catherine said as soon as he picked up. “We spent the last seven hours dodging Dorgal and some of his goons in the rain forest near San Esposito. Our jet just took off from the airport. Is everything okay there at home?”

  “Catherine, you texted me three times since you left here asking me that question. Why would it not be, with me in charge?” Hu Chang said. “And why would I not have sent you word if there were a problem?”

  “Because you’d try to take care of it yourself. No sign of Santos’s people?”

  “No. But if they gave out signals, there would be nothing to worry about.” He changed the subject. “You found Montez?”

  “Yes, but he wouldn’t talk, and we had to leave him down there temporarily.”

  “It isn’t like you to accept a defeat. Most uncharacteristic.”

  “That’s what Cameron said. He didn’t approve.” She added wearily, “But I believed Montez when he said that he didn’t know where Santos is. In his own way, I think he’s been struggling against him. And I didn’t want to be the one to make him suffer any more than he has already.” She paused. “How is Luke?”

  “Upset that you didn’t say good-bye to him.”

  “He would have wanted to go with me. That wasn’t an option.”

  “I explained that to him and turned him over to Kelly. I was going to bring Erin in, but Kelly offers him challenges, and that’s what he needs.”

  “If he doesn’t persuade her to go after Santos with him,” she said dryly. “It’s definitely a possibility. He knows that Kelly helped to find him when he was being held by Rakovac. You know how brilliant she is at seeing patterns and connections when no one else can do it. It’s almost an Einstein mentality. That’s what she does at that think tank at college. Even Venable was considering trying to use her for some of his other cases.”

  “And will you try to use her?”

  “She persuaded me to let her do what she could. I’m going to tap every source I can. If a situation arises where she can safely give us help, I’ll ask her, not tell her.” She changed the subject. “And speaking about tapping sources, I’m going to tap you, Hu Chang. I’m bringing you a paperback book I took from Montez. I think it’s his own work. It’s full of all kinds of the deliciously complicated chemical and mathematical puzzles and equations that you like. At least, it’s complicated to me. You may find it child’s play.”

  “Really?” He sounded fascinated. “Intriguing. I admit, like Luke, I’m desperately searching for a challenge. Let’s hope that you’re bringing me one that is worthy of me. Does this book have a title?”

  “Maggi. Does it spark anything?”

  “Not at the moment. I will think about it. When can I have the book?”

  “I told you, I’m bringing it to you. You want the exact time? About six hours.” She chuckled. “You’re more eager to see all those calculations than you are to see us safely back there. I regret that you no longer look on me as a challenge, Hu Chang.”

  “You are always a challenge, always new, always fresh. But, unfortunately, you have no desire to explore the intricacies of the chemical rules of the universe and how to change them. That is why I had to turn to Luke to teach. He is coming along fabulously.”

  “No poisons, Hu Chang.”

  “Not until he is ready to acc
ept the responsibility.”

  “No poisons.”

  He sighed. “One must furnish an entire picture. I will have to convince you of that someday. But there is time.”

  “I haven’t heard from Eve. Jane?”

  “Still alive. The last I checked with Eve, she had called in Seth Caleb to come see Jane. It appears to be a last-ditch effort.”

  “Caleb.” She remembered her encounters with Seth Caleb when they had been hunting and trying to save Eve last year. Dark, interesting, riveting, and totally focused on Jane MacGuire. She had heard strange rumors about his ability to manipulate blood flow, but she had not thought Eve would call on him for help. But perhaps Hu Chang was right, and desperation had led Eve down that path. “Yes, that’s what it seems to be. I’d probably do the same if I were her. After I hang up from you, I’m going to call her.”

  “Give her my best wishes. I regret her sorrow. She is an extraordinary woman.”

  “Yes, she is. I’m hanging up now, Hu Chang. I’ll see you soon.”

  “Yes, you will.” His tone was absent, and she knew he was no longer paying attention. “Maggi…”

  “Everything is status quo?” Cameron asked from his seat next to her as he looked up from his computer. “I won’t say good, because that would be too optimistic.”

  “No escalation. But that may change once Dorgal reports back to Santos that he didn’t gather Montez into his net. It would be too much to expect that his contacts won’t have known that we were after him, too.”

  “But those same contacts will be able to tell him that Montez wasn’t with us when we boarded this plane. Which means that he’ll still be scouring that rain forest for him.”

  “Then we have to hope that Montez will be as good at hiding in the forest as he told us,” Catherine said grimly. “Or that Dario will be able to keep a damn good watch on him.”

  “Dario will do his job.” Cameron looked back down at his computer. “But you did make things more difficult.”

  “I believe you mentioned that.”

  “Edgy, Catherine?” He smiled faintly. “I just needed to make sure that you remember it wasn’t my call if it blows up in your face. I admit I’m feeling a bit resentful that I wasn’t allowed to be in control of the situation. It felt very strange.”