Heal With You (Trials of Fear Book 6)

by Nicky James

  “He called your mom once and got you in shit,” I said. “We couldn’t play together for a month after that.”

  “Damn. That was a long time ago.”

  “Over twenty years. We were maybe nine or ten.”

  Beck rattled his head at the reality of that. “Where does time go?” The minute the words left his mouth he flipped his head in my direction. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

  The hairs on my arms rose, and a tingling sensation ghosted my skin, but otherwise, I was able to tamper down the reaction that statement had caused. Stupid throwaway words shouldn’t do that to me, but they did.

  “It’s okay. I’m okay.”

  Beck studied me, ensuring I was telling the truth then grabbed my hand in his as we continued to walk along the street toward the school.

  Hillcove Elementary School was exactly how I remembered it. Or mostly. It looked smaller. Way smaller. When we were kids, it had always felt enormous. The steel-framed windows were the same, the red brick walls, the double front doors, and bus turnaround off to the side near the kindergarten area.

  All the same.

  A chain-link fence circled from the front of the school all the way to the back field. We wandered along the side of the school and found a gate with an open latch and let ourselves in. Then we started toward the play area around back.

  “Oh no!” Beck said, stopping as we rounded the corner to the rear of the school. “The equipment is all gone.”

  He was right. When Beck and I had gone to school here, there had been a huge wooden structure with monkey bars, tire swings, fireman poles, and more. It had sat out in the field. There had also been the steel-domed climbing fixture all the kids called the spaceship. It had once sat on the tarmac, but it was gone too. It was basically monkey-bar-like ladders that curved and met at the top in the middle. The middle was a circular-type ladder that went back down to the ground.

  The year before I’d met Beck, I stuck my tongue to one of the metal bars in the winter time and tore a layer off when I’d ripped myself loose. I got a free trip home after that because it had bled like a bitch.

  The tetherball poles had all been removed as well. Beck and I had played endless games of tetherball. That was sad.

  “They were pretty old, Beck. Probably unsafe considering today’s standards. I’m not that surprised.”

  “Well damn. That kinda fucks things up.”

  “What do you mean?”

  Beck sighed, and his shoulders slumped as he frowned. “Never mind. Fuck it. Come on.”

  He jerked my arm and marched toward where that wooden climbing structure had once sat, way out in the field. When we got to the right spot, Beck dropped my hand and looked around, spinning in place. “This location meant something. And… I wanted to make it even more special.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “This climber.” He stamped a foot on the grassy ground where not even the torn up soil of too many running feet remained. “The one that stood right here was where I met you.”

  A memory jolted me to the past. He was right.

  “We were in grade three,” Beck continued. “It was September, and I saw you hanging upside down on the monkey bars with your shirt almost falling off, your face bright red from the rush of blood going to your head, and you were swinging back and forth singing some stupid song.”

  “Old Hiram’s Goat.” I laughed. “I remember. It was a song I’d learned at camp that year and I sang it everywhere I went because I thought it was hilarious.”

  “And I came over to your upside down ass and asked if I could hang out with you.”

  “And I said yes, and you flipped upside down too—”

  “And we hung out.”

  “We thought that was the funniest thing ever.”

  “That was the beginning of us, Gray. Not only did I meet my best friend in the whole world, but that best friend turned into so much more.”

  We stood less than two feet apart. Beck’s hands were deep in his pockets as he looked up at me from down-casted eyes.

  I stayed quiet because Beck looked like he was working up to say something more. He swallowed a noticeable gulp and closed our distance, scooped up one of my hands and held it.

  “This is where it all began. We played on this climber every day, every year until we went to high school. You played archeologist with me in the dirt, showed me how to go down the fireman pole with no hands, and spun me on the tire swing until I threw up on myself and had to be sent home for the day.”

  I chuckled. “Good times.”

  “They were. Every minute I spend with you is a good time. A great time. Time I treasure. I look forward to many, many more memories like that. You and me. It was always meant to be, Gray. It just took me a little longer to realize it. So, on that note.” Beck took a deep breath then he took a knee, and my heart nearly stopped beating when I realized what was happening.

  “Beck.”

  “Shhh… Grayson Brooks, there is no one else in this world for me. You’re it. Would you do me the honor of becoming my husband?”

  He removed his other hand from his pocket. In his palm was a wooden box that looked old and worn. He carefully removed the lid and held it up.

  The ring inside was unlike anything I’d ever seen before. I was no antique dealer or vintage guru like Beck, but it looked really, really old.

  My gaze flicked from the ring to Beck’s anxious face where he knelt waiting for an answer.

  “Fuck yes. Oh my God. Are you serious?”

  “As a heart attack.”

  I tugged him to his feet and smothered him in a crushing hug. He was trembling when I crashed our mouths together, telling him, “yes, yes, yes,” over and over again.

  “Careful,” he said, chuckling into our kiss. “I don’t want to lose this in the grass, it’s fucking rare as shit.”

  I pulled back and let Beck take the ring from its secured place in the box. He took my hand and slid it on my finger. It didn’t fit, stopping at the fat knuckle halfway down, but he didn’t seem too concerned. Then he explained, “It’s a Renaissance ring. The appraiser deemed it authentic sixteenth century. The black stone in the middle is carved with what was once a scorpion design. You can’t make it out too well anymore, but I can show you pictures of others with similar symbols. The scorpion was carved into jewelry dating back to the first and second century and was used as a protective amulet. It was believed it kept the wearer in good health and healed illnesses.

  “I know it’s not a traditional engagement ring, but I’m not really a traditional guy.”

  “I love it. It doesn’t fit, but I probably shouldn’t be wearing it around anyway, right? I mean, it must be seriously valuable.”

  Beck chuckled. “We don’t want to talk about that. I just spent two days getting appraisers to run around at my whim all while working with banks to make immediate transfers so I could do this here where the goddamn play equipment was supposed to be.” He stamped his foot again for emphasis.

  I laughed and pulled Beck into my arms. “Climber or no, this place has a lot of meaning. Now it has even more. My mom is going to have a cow. I swear to God, we just talked about this last night, and I told her you weren’t ready.”

  Beck chuckled. “Yeah, well, she already knows. I asked your dad for permission last night and told him he could share it with her.”

  I pulled back and glared at Beck. “Is that why she was on cloud nine this morning?”

  “I was sure she was going to spoil it.”

  I laughed again and tugged Beck into another crushing kiss. “Fuck, I love you so much.”

  “I love you too. I mean it, Gray. You and me. Forever.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

  Arden

  School was finished.

  Arrangements with Vortex had been finalized.

  Iggy and I stood in the middle of our empty apartment looking around one last time. It didn’t feel real. We were officially leaving Dewhurst Poi
nt and heading to Toronto to make a new life.

  It’d been a busy month and a half since the conference. I’d finished my final term at the college, signed contracts with Vortex making me a lead junior designer for one of their higher end wedding labels, and we’d made multiple trips to Toronto so we could find a suitable place to live. Iggy had found work, and I’d met with a new doctor who Dr. Kelby had recommended.

  This was it. The day we piled in Iggy’s car and left. I was both excited and scared. Happy and sad.

  “You ready?” Iggy asked, tearing me from my thoughts.

  “Yeah. I guess so.”

  When I still didn’t move, Iggy found my hand and encouraged me along. I followed behind him as we went downstairs to the car which Iggy had parked out front so we could fill it with a few random belongings we thought might be safer in the car rather than on the truck. Behind Iggy’s car sat a twenty foot U-Haul filled with all our possessions, and leaning against the side was Phoenix, tapping away on his phone. He peered up when we came through the front doors of the complex and shifted his gaze between us.

  “Hey, you guys set? Carrie said the food is ready and waiting. We’d better hustle.”

  “Yup, meet you over there,” Iggy said.

  My brother had volunteered to drive the U-Haul to Toronto for us. We’d told him multiple times that Iggy could drive it and I could take Iggy’s car, but he’d insisted. I thought maybe Iggy leaving was hitting him harder than he wanted to admit. They’d been best friends for over fifteen years, and Phoenix needed to be part of this move. Even if all it meant was driving a truck and being a mule helping us load and unload it.

  I got in the passenger seat and buckled up as Iggy started the car. Carrie had planned a special brunch for just the four of us today. It was Saturday, and we’d be missing the official family brunch the following morning. Carrie and Phoenix seemed upset about that so we’d agreed to a meal before hitting the road.

  I’d already said a lengthy goodbye to my parents and younger siblings the day before. We’d been invited to dinner and hadn’t got home until late.

  We drove to Phoenix and Carrie’s townhouse as Phoenix followed in the U-Haul behind us. It’d been a long day of packing and loading the truck, and it was already past noon. It wasn’t often I admitted to being hungry, but I was starving.

  Carrie greeted us at the door and told us to find a seat at the table because everything was set up and waiting.

  She’d made a platter of sandwiches, macaroni salad, and a green salad for the boys, and a special little plate just for me since she knew I wouldn’t eat any of those things. My plate held an assortment of different crackers, a few cubes of cheddar cheese, a banana—my newest success—and one single, tiny little pepperette—since Dr. Kelby had convinced me there was enough salt and preservatives in those cured meats that nothing could hurt me. I still fretted over them a bit, but Iggy was with me, so I’d be okay.

  My arsenal of foods was growing each month. I still had many hard limits, but overall, my health was better, my weight was higher, and my panic attacks and vomiting sessions were fewer and further between. Eating was a daily challenge, but one I could mostly handle now. I still counted calories, I still avoided Google, and I still ate at a snail’s pace, but I was improving.

  “Dig in. You guys have been going since before the sun was up,” Carrie said as Iggy and Phoenix filled their plates like ravenous cavemen.

  I nibbled my crackers, proud I no longer had to obsess over the expiration date, and watched as Iggy and Phoenix made pigs of themselves. Carrie picked at a sandwich half but didn’t really eat much. Mostly just the bread as she quietly placed the lunch meat aside.

  “Please try to eat it,” Phoenix said when he noticed.

  She smiled at him and took a small bite, chewing slowly. She caught me watching and nodded to my plate. “Is that all okay?” she asked.

  “It’s great. Thank you.”

  She seemed pleased and shifted in her seat, nudging my brother’s arm. “Are you coming home tonight?” she asked Phoenix.

  “No. It’s too far. By the time we get there and unload the truck, I’ll probably be whipped. I’ll crash with these guys and hit the road first thing in the morning before the sun is up. I’ll be home for brunch with Mom and Dad. I promise.”

  “Okay.”

  They shared a look I couldn’t decipher and continued to eat. Phoenix indicated for her to eat her sandwich again which she’d set aside. Great, maybe my poor eating habits had rubbed off on her.

  “What time did you tell your mom you’d be by?” Phoenix asked Iggy.

  “I didn’t give her an exact time. Just told her after we ate.”

  After much debate and consideration, Iggy’s mom had decided to stay in Dewhurst Point. Instead of moving into an assisted living house, we’d found her live-in support. Bryn. She’d moved in last week and was staying rent-free after agreeing to help Iggy’s mom with all her needs and appointments when necessary. Bryn was thrilled because she’d grown tired of living with irresponsible roommates, and Iggy’s mom was thrilled because she liked her quiet house and having as much independence as she could hold onto. Bryn could be there whenever help was needed, and yet, the two could also have their own lives.

  Iggy had struggled with the idea of leaving his mom behind, but I knew having Bryn there had helped ease his troubled heart. Besides, we’d be back plenty to visit.

  Everyone finished eating—except me because I was slower than molasses—and Carrie who’d done nothing more than pick at her bread no matter how many times Phoenix encouraged her to eat more. Phoenix caught my perplexed look aimed at his wife and jumped up, clapping his hands together and drawing my attention away.

  “Coffee anyone? Or tea for you, Arden?”

  I frowned and nodded. “Sure.”

  Iggy agreed to a coffee, and Phoenix bounced into action, clearing the table and making everyone a drink. When he returned, he set two steaming mugs down for Iggy and me then went back to the kitchen and came out with one for himself and a tall glass of ice water for Carrie.

  They exchanged a look, and Carrie nodded.

  As Phoenix’s ass hit the chair again, he shifted his gaze between Iggy and me. “So, because you guys won’t be at family brunch tomorrow, we wanted to share something with you today before you leave.”

  He looked at Carrie, and she smiled at my brother before placing an envelope on the table and sliding it to the middle. Iggy and I shared a look before Iggy picked it up.

  As he opened it Phoenix added, “I’m swearing you both to secrecy for the next twenty-four hours. After that, it’s fair game, and you can tell whoever.”

  Inside the envelope was an ultrasound picture. Iggy’s head shot up, and his wide eyes landed on my brother. “Holy shit. Dude, is this for real?”

  Phoenix couldn’t contain his smile as he placed a gentle arm around Carrie’s shoulders. “Yup it is. We found out a month ago. Had the ultrasound done this week and thought it was a good way to share the news.”

  “I’m eleven weeks along. Twelve on Tuesday,” Carrie added. “And really nauseous which is why I can barely eat.” That comment was aimed at me. “So don’t worry about me, Arden. I saw the looks you were giving me. It’s not the same.”

  “Wow. So, you’re having a baby. I’m going to be an uncle.”

  “Yup,” they said in unison.

  Launching from the table, I snagged my big brother and yanked him into a crushing hug. “This is so awesome. Mom’s gonna freak.”

  “I know. She’ll know tomorrow. We’re announcing it at brunch.”

  “I’m so happy for you. Holy crap, you’re going to be a dad.”

  “Terrifying notion, isn’t it,” Phoenix said with a laugh.

  “Just don’t be an asshole and you’ll be fine.”

  He shoved me playfully out of his arms, but when he tried to smack me across the head, I ducked.

  I stole Carrie from Iggy’s arms to hug her too as Iggy and Phoen
ix exchange their own hugs. “And here I thought you swore you weren’t doing this after hearing Bryn in labor,” I said to Carrie.

  “Shut up and don’t remind me. I’m terrified of that part.”

  I chuckled and kissed her cheek. “Hey, if Bryn can do it, so can you. She’s way more whiny and sensitive than you are.”

  “Thanks, Arden. The end result of labor makes it worth it.”

  “Have you seen Finn and Aven recently?” Phoenix asked.

  I shook my head. “Not since the baby was born. Finn missed our last group meeting, but he’s texted Bryn a few times. Sent her pictures too. They had a photographer come to their house, and the pictures she took were the cutest things ever. Scarlet is their little princess, you can tell.”

  We sat back down and enjoyed our drinks while Carrie and Phoenix shared their excitement and plans for their new baby. By the time we drained our drinks, it was time to head out. We had one more stop—to say goodbye to Iggy’s mom—then we’d be on the road to Toronto.

  Phoenix kissed Carrie and promised to be home early the following morning while Iggy and I got our shoes on.

  At Iggy’s mom’s house, there were a lot of tears.

  Mama Rojas held her son’s face, touching every curve and contour while mumbling something in Spanish I couldn’t understand. Iggy kissed her cheeks and responded in the same language. They went back and forth, uttering words of endearment and hugging as tears rolled down both their faces.

  Bryn came from another room in the house and smothered me in hugs as well.

  Bryn had been upset when she heard about our relocation. We were close, and we would both miss spending time together. But she understood and was proud to see me achieving my career goals and doing what I loved.

  “Come here, Arden,” Iggy’s mom said, waving a hand for me to approach.

  She was fully blind and hard of hearing. She was confident moving around in her own home, but with so many people gathered in her tiny kitchen, she remained stationary, one hand resting on the kitchen table.

  She looked sightlessly in my direction as I took her hand and gave it a squeeze. She reached out and touched my face, gliding her fingers over my cheek and around to my ear until her hand came to rest at the nape of my neck where she gave a gentle squeeze.