Her Second Chance Cowboy: Brothers of Miller Ranch Book One

by Dean, Natalie

“You do?” she asked.

  “Of course, I do.” His green eyes stared at her, seeming to take in every feature of her face and soul. “Chastity, you’re the most determined woman I’ve ever met. If someone tells you no, you take that as a challenge to try harder. I should have known better than to think you could ever settle for a future with just me.”

  Ow.

  Without thinking, she found herself reaching out to him, her hands settling over his. “Please don’t think about it that way. A life with you isn’t some consolation prize. You’re a wonderful, loving man. Building a life with you would be more than most people could ask for.”

  “But not more than you could ask for?”

  She shook her head slowly, feeling her heart sink within her as she spoke the truth. It quelled the romantic, fairy-tale feelings within her, but it needed to be said. “No, it’s not enough.”

  Silence stretched out between them for several moments, the only point of contact between them being the sun that was contained between their hands. Chastity wished she could comfort him in this moment, and yet she was the one causing his pain.

  “I think I’ve found a new prayer,” he said eventually, his voice just a low rumble that sent chills up her spine.

  “Have you?”

  He nodded. “I think I’ll pray that maybe, someday, it will be enough.”

  She didn’t know if that was something that she should encourage, or if she should shut all of this down right now, but her heart ached for him.

  How was he single after all these years? He was such a handsome, considerate, lovely man. There had to be dozens of women in town pining after him, wishing they could somehow catch his eye. And yet he seemed to be stuck on her, a lost woman with wanderlust carved into her very bones and a rampant desire for more.

  Always more.

  She wasn’t thinking clearly. Fueled by emotion and the drive to make him stop looking so gosh-darned hurt, she found herself up on her knees, her plate flipped to its side. She drew in a sharp breath, and then her lips were on his, pressing into his soft skin.

  Could he feel it? How much she wanted their fairy tale to be true? How she wished she could settle in his arms and forget her drive and ambitions?

  He seemed to, because his arms wrapped around her middle and crushed her to him. And for a moment, there was nothing else. Just them, and their lips moving against each other, clinging to the humanity that connected them so intensely.

  Kissing him was better than anything else she could ever imagine. It made her blood rush and her skin flush and her head spin in the best way possible. She loved the feeling, everything about it.

  Suddenly, he was pulling her even farther, leaning back until he was on the ground, then rolling so that she was under him. His hands moved from behind her, instead caressing her sides and legs. He took care to stay away from any zone that was too dangerous, but it was clear that he wanted to feel all of her.

  And she wanted to be felt. After so many years of protecting herself in the city, of maintaining a proper distance and never trusting, she wanted to be close to the one man who always seemed to understand her.

  They continued to kiss, attraction, affection, and love drenching them in its honey-sweet wine. For several moments, she was lost, forgetting about the city and the grand destiny she had in her mind—and everything else.

  Until her phone rang with a shrill tone.

  That jolted her from the moment, and she pushed Ben off, reaching down into her pocket to yank her phone out. She clicked the answer button before it was even to her ear, her heart racing in an entirely different way.

  “Hello?” she asked, although she knew that ringtone only belonged to her mother.

  Except it wasn’t her mother. It was an entirely different woman altogether.

  “Hello? Ms. Parker?”

  “Yes, this is she.”

  “Hello, this is your mother’s night nurse.” Ah, right. That made sense.

  Chastity cut right down to the heart of the matter. “Is my mother all right?”

  “Physically, yes, but she apparently had a dream that her husband was just off at the store, and when she woke up, she realized the truth. She’s very much beside herself now, and I think she would do well with you here.”

  “Absolutely. I’ll be there as fast as I can.”

  She looked up at Ben with guilt in her eyes, but he was already on his feet, looking quite worried. “Your mother?” he asked.

  She nodded, the mood shattered as he pulled her upright. She would have plenty of time to scold herself later, but for now all she was worried about was her mom.

  “Let’s get you home then.”

  They gathered everything up and walked quickly to the car, saying nothing. And when they sped onto the roads, going far faster than they probably should, they were still quiet.

  Ben got her to her house in record time, and she erupted from his car before he could even open the door. He shouted out to her to call him if she needed a single thing, and she nodded before disappearing through her door, grateful that he understood that tonight wasn’t something that he could aid with.

  But as the door closed and she rushed upstairs to her mom, Chastity couldn’t help but wonder if they had crossed a line they shouldn’t have.

  Oh well. That could wait until later. Right now, there were more pressing things at hand.

  17

  Chastity

  The dream that interrupted Chastity’s date with Ben was a catalyst for Chastity’s mom, because suddenly her mental state began to tank. Instead of being mostly lucid with moments of confusion, she became generally dazed with only a few instances of clarity a day. It was exhausting, and after a few days of it, Chastity called the doctor.

  She had some good news. Apparently, it wasn’t Alzheimer’s or brain cancer, which was really the only positive parts of the message. Unfortunately, it was dementia and they needed to do more tests to figure out what kind exactly—which meant more co-pays and more office visits, but their bank account was pretty much bled dry. Chastity only had one more month on her phone before they shut it off, and she still hadn’t found a job.

  More than once she found herself thinking of how unfair it all was, but that was unproductive and a waste of energy, so she tried to turn off the negative thoughts.

  That proved difficult, however, as troubles kept mounting and mounting. She felt like she was drowning and there wasn’t a life raft in sight.

  “Chastity, dear. I’d like to go to church.”

  Chastity looked up from the classifieds, where she was highlighting all of the odd jobs and hiring postings that sounded like they were something she could do. She was desperate, and yet she couldn’t bring herself to ask Ben for money. That seemed so wrong.

  “Can we do that next week, Mom? I have a lot to do and catch up on.”

  The rest of her things had arrived from the service she had used to deliver them from storage, and she was listing them online, hoping maybe they could net her some money to get them by. She didn’t have a ton, but she had collected enough stuff over the past decade to maybe get them by a month or two if she sold most of it.

  “Oh, a week from now is a long way away. Could we try to go to the Wednesday night Bible study? I really do feel the need to be sharpened.”

  “Sharpened?” Chastity repeated, looking back to the classifieds she had spread over the table.

  “Yes. As it says in the Bible, real life can dull us up, and I feel awfully dull. We’re all supposed to sharpen ourselves in the Lord.”

  “Huh. Sounds weird, but I believe you.”

  “It’s not weird, Chastity. It’s the Lord’s word.”

  “I’m sure it is. But I have to make sure that we have enough to keep up with the bills, so we’ll see where we are on Wednesday, okay?”

  “Okay,” she said with a nod. “I’ll pray that it all falls into place.”

  “In this case, I don’t think that anything will fall into place. It’s all about har
d work and using the resources that he’s given us.”

  “Ah, true, true. You know what they say about idle hands.”

  She tottered off to make tea, and Chastity delved into her work. Even if everything went perfectly, she would be stuck paying the very minimum payment on all their bills, and they would have a meager thirty dollars left over for groceries.

  And that wasn’t for the week. Chastity had done all right on less than that for a week before. No, it was thirty dollars for the month, and then they would have nothing for copays.

  Ugh. She needed a job.

  This small-town search wasn’t working for her. Like that boy from high school said, most of the places knew who she was and that she had left town for a decade without looking back. They thought this meant that she wasn’t trustworthy and that she would skip out again, or that a local deserved the spot more than her.

  If she was going to make money, she needed to look online.

  “Hey, Mom, are you going to be all right if I dip out for an hour and a half?”

  “Of course, dear, I’m not a child. That will give me time to make some tea and sandwiches for a late lunch. I trust you’re not hungry yet and can wait until you’re back?”

  “Yes, that sounds lovely. You know to call me if you need anything.”

  “That I do. But I’ll be fine, really.”

  Chastity ground her teeth nervously. Leaving her mother alone in her deteriorating state was a gamble. She seemed fine now, but what if she left the oven on? Or set something on top of the stove that she shouldn’t? Or forgot that she was cooking at all?

  But they needed money, and she couldn’t rely on the charity of others to get them through, especially others who just so happened to be her ex from high school that she had just kissed in a torrid burst of passion a couple days previous.

  She glanced to her phone as she packed up. Maybe she should text him? But what would she say? Her heart did its own special little throb when she remembered that moment, his weight pressed to her as their lips locked and their bodies spoke an entirely new language together.

  It was like how it used to be between them, and yet there was something else to it. A sort of intensity they didn’t have as teenagers. If they had, she didn’t think that they ever would have gone to their classes and would have spent their days in sin.

  These feelings were dangerous—and complicated. Perhaps it would be better if she didn’t ever message him again.

  Yeah right, as if she would be able to resist doing that.

  That was something she could worry about after she got their financial situation more in order. Finishing packing up her laptop, a water bottle, her phone, and her charger, she headed out the door.

  Just like everything else in town, the library was within a ten-minute walk. She checked in with the librarian to see if there had been any progress on her application, and after a vague, noncommittal answer that meant they really weren’t interested, she headed over to one of the sitting areas.

  She didn’t have a moment to waste, so she searched for different ways to make money online. Of course, pornography came up first, but she skipped past those.

  Hmm, surveys online? That seemed like something. It wouldn’t be enough to survive off of, but maybe it could help bolster their grocery bill for the month. But who knew, considering she would only have an hour every other day or so. If only her parents had Wi-Fi…

  Maybe she could do some on her phone? That would certainly help. Might even help her go to sleep, considering most nights she was afraid she’d awaken to her mother crying again.

  Chastity had been through some rough things, but nothing quite compared to watching her mother sob over her father, remembering that he was dead all over again. It had been a heartbreaking, soul-destroying sound, and Chastity could go her entire life without ever having to hear that again.

  It was easy enough to get started, and she found herself quickly going through surveys, her high reading speed working to her advantage. They were only five cents, ten cents, occasionally twenty cents a pop, but at least it was something. She would continue looking tomorrow for more profitable work, but at least this was giving her a baseline.

  All too soon, an hour had passed, and it was time to pack up and head right back home. She’d only earned five dollars, but at least it was a start. If she could get it on her phone, she could probably whack out another dollar or two throughout the day and before she went to sleep.

  Hope bubbled up a little, even though seven dollars a day wasn’t nearly enough to cover their expenses. But as long as they had food, it couldn’t be too bad, could it?

  Those thoughts plagued her, but she shucked them out of her mind before she walked through the front door at home. She didn’t want her mother to pick up on her mood and have an episode. In the weeks that she had been home, she had noticed her mother’s incidents did indeed increase toward the evening. Whether it was because she was tired and stressed from the day, or because something to do with the sun or darkness, Chastity didn’t know. All she knew was that a month had come and gone, and she was nowhere near being in a position where she could go back to the city.

  “Chastity dear, is that you?”

  “Of course, who else would it be?” she answered, kicking off her shoes as she went inside.

  “I don’t know. Hopefully not that horrible bank man.”

  Chastity chuckled slightly at that. “I don’t think he’ll be bothering us. Ben made sure of that.”

  “Ben? Is that a friend you made in town?”

  Chastity was no longer surprised by instances like these. “Yeah, he is.”

  “Ah, well I’m so glad you’re trying to fit in again. I’ve made some grilled cheese and potato soup, if you’re hungry.”

  “That I am! Thank you, Mom.”

  “Don’t worry about it. It’s nice to take care of my little girl again. I’m starvin’.”

  “I bet you are. You get up at seven a.m. Lunch at three is a bit late for you.”

  “But it was worth the wait to sit and have lunch with my daughter. Now you sit down—I have your plate all ready.”

  Chastity did so, and soon her mother joined her with steaming food for both of them. They sat across from each other, and conversation flowed easily. This was what she loved about being with her mother. The memories that she would cherish for years to come. This was why she did this. Why she stayed.

  She knew she was making the right decision, even if it was a hard one.

  18

  Chastity

  Chastity awoke in a cold sweat, her nightmares trying to keep a hold on her as she rocketed into the real world. It seemed that her mother’s penchant for unpleasant dreams was leaking into her own mind, because her stomach was still flipping from whatever nastiness had been going on in her head—even if it was already fleeing from her memories.

  She didn’t have time to linger on that, however, because she had a lot to do. It was time for more of the tests for her mom, and like the knight in shining armor he was, Ben was going to be arriving on his silver steed to take them to the city.

  So much for not calling him.

  She hoped that he didn’t feel like she was using him; he was just one of the only people she knew in town who had the means to take them to the city and wouldn’t suffer from giving up so many hours of his day sitting around.

  Ugh. She hated being reliant on people, but she was incredibly grateful. Her mother would be a lot worse off if it weren’t for the Miller family. She definitely owed them a debt. Not that they would ever think of it that way. They were just that kind of people.

  She went through her morning, getting herself and her mother ready. Mom was being especially curmudgeonly that morning, refusing to do a lot of simple tasks, but at least Chastity managed to get her dressed by the time she got Ben’s text. Leading her mother downstairs, she helped her to the door.

  Immediately upon seeing Ben, her mother’s face brightened.

  “Oh, it’s yo
u again,” she said with one of the brightest smiles that she had worn in days.

  “Yes, it’s me, your humble chauffeur.” Ben gave a dramatic sort of bow that reminded her of some of the plays they did together. “Are you ready to ride to the city?”

  “I do think I am,” she answered, letting go of Chastity and taking his strong arm. “It’s not every day that a woman gets such a handsome escort.”

  “Handsome? Well, I don’t know about that.” He laughed and the sound put Chastity at ease. She really was lucky to have him in her life, even if the last time they had parted had been abrupt.

  Chastity closed the door and headed toward the back seat when Ben turned to her. “Hey, why don’t you stay here? I know you have a lot of work to do, and you could use a morning to yourself.”

  She stared at him with wide eyes. “Oh, no but thank you. Mother—”

  “Don’t use me as an excuse,” Mrs. Parker said, leaning out of the door as Ben helped her up. “I’m fine with this young man taking me. You’re cranky enough lately that you could use a good nap.”

  “What? I’m not cranky.”

  “Ya see that right there?” her mother continued, laying her southern drawl on thicker than usual. “You’re tired.”

  But it was Ben’s kind hand on her shoulder that gave her pause. “Trust me, Chastity. I can take care of this. You go do whatever you need to do. Take time for yourself. Please?”

  How could she say no to that? Besides, four whole hours of doing surveys and searching for other ways to make a couple bucks would be fantastic. That’s about as much as she’d done in the entire last week.

  “…I guess I could.”

  “That’s my girl,” her mother said with a mischievous smile. If Chastity didn’t know better, she would think that the woman was angling to flirt with Ben. Hopefully, she didn’t mistake him for Charles and was just having fun in a potentially stressful situation.

  “I’ll see you later. I promise I will call if anything happens.”

  “Are you sure we should do this? You’re not her power of attorney.”