Chronicles of Ethan Complete Series: A LitRPG / GameLit Fantasy Adventure

by John L. Monk

  “Now what?” I said.

  Rita pulled a small bottle from a pouch on her hip, popped the cork, and took a swig. Then she grabbed me around the middle in an iron grip and vaulted from the planet like a superhero.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  I screamed. It felt so good, I screamed again.

  “Would you quit that?” Rita said as we whooshed into the sky. “All the higher levels fly. Monks are actually the best flyers, but that’s not till later. In the meantime, I bought a potion with fifty doses. No more Magical Matters for us. The best stuff’s up in this tower. They put the doors up high to keep out the lookie-loos. See that platform?”

  It didn’t matter that I’d flown in countless flitters over the years or that I’d only lose one life if she let go. The game had perfectly simulated my natural fear of falling, and my terror was real.

  “Take me down now!” I said, scrabbling desperately to hold on.

  “That’s my tit, Ethan,” Rita said, laughing. “And here I thought you were happily married.”

  And with that, something inside me snapped. So visceral was the rage that welled up, I could hardly breathe. I almost let go, just to be away from her. Of all the things to say to someone—to say to me.

  “Jesus,” she said softly. “I’m sorry, okay? We’re here.”

  When my feet touched the unyielding floor of the platform, I let go.

  The woman I loved was in Ward 2. Instead of being with her, I was running around with a woman just a little too attractive for comfort, and not just physically. Melody had a sense of fun, sure, but hers was different than Rita’s constant exuberance. This shouldn’t have mattered in the slightest, but that wasn’t the worst part. Sometime during my wild ride up the tower, I’d had an unworthy thought.

  The mechanics of the game stipulated that if I never made it to Ward 2—never delivered my fairy tale kiss—then I would forever remain a widower. My wife, in turn, would achieve an eternal rest the holy books of old had always promised.

  I loved my wife.

  I love you Melody.

  I would do anything for her.

  Anything.

  “Anything,” I said hoarsely, wiping the tears from my eyes.

  “Oh, Ethan, I’m sorry,” Rita said in a tone full of remorse. “I’m sorry, I just … my mouth. It gets away from me when I’m having fun. I swear I didn’t mean anything.”

  More than ever, I wanted to keep drinking. Something for the pain and guilt of still being alive.

  “I’m sorry, too,” I said. “The last few years … I just pushed through, running out the clock.”

  “But you can’t do that now. You won’t.”

  “Wrong,” I said. “It’s gonna take five years to get to Ward 2. Jaddow told me.”

  Rita shook her head. “You said anyone who reaches level three hundred can beat the guardian. At your rate, you’ll be there in a few months, tops.”

  For once, I didn’t feel like the kid with the lowest grades.

  “You didn’t read the XP charts,” I said smugly. “At level one hundred, the points needed to level multiplies by almost three times. Even on Hard Mode, that’s a lot. That’s why he took me to the Trial of Pain. He as much as told me to choose Power. Why he didn’t say so explicitly, I don’t know.”

  “Didn’t want the responsibility,” Rita said. “You’re not immortal anymore.”

  I shrugged. “Now I get to wait. Well no, not really. I have to fight like hell—grind—when all I want to do is lie down and never get up again.”

  Rita’s expression hardened.

  “You sound like an asshole,” she said. “A pussy, if we’re being honest, and I hate that word. But you’re it! I mean, listen to you. Is that the man she married? Maybe you should kill yourself. Save everyone a lot of grief.”

  Before I could answer, Rita strode down the platform to an ornately sculpted entryway and disappeared.

  Great work, dummy.

  I hurried to catch up, but when I got inside, all I could do was stare.

  This being a tower, I’d expected a cylindrical space, possibly with a chair by a window for Rapunzel to let down her hair. What I found was a cavernous shopping mall expanding well beyond the bounds of conventional physics.

  Shopping malls didn’t exist anymore and hadn’t for as long as I could remember. But a few decades back, there’d been a retro movement to restore one of the last American malls and “bring people out of their houses again.” In the process, people relearned about the maze-like structures our ancestors spent so much time in. Overnight, the tourist industry had a brand-new draw for the desperately bored. Mall crawls, they called them, and there were a number of popular subs dedicated to the pursuit. This was before Melody’s gaming kicked into full swing, and we’d visited a few that were nearby. Then, like the mysterious Inca—or the fate of Orange Julius (shrouded in myth)—the shopping mall craze abruptly ended.

  But not in Heroes of Mythian, apparently. Looking back, this made sense. The retirement worlds came into existence around the same time as mall crawls. My guess was one of the designers had been an avid crawler.

  Unlike those 20th and 21st century malls, this one was fantasy-themed. Yes, there were majestic escalators spanning between the floors. But the glass, steel, and rubber had been replaced with rainbows carrying people up and down. I spotted Rita taking one such escalator.

  “Hey!” I said when I caught up to her.

  Rita turned and regarded me stonily. “Are you gonna stop acting like an ass now?”

  “Sorry. I’ll never do it again. Cross my heart.”

  To prove my honesty, I pantomimed crossing my heart.

  Rita’s eyes softened. “You better be sorry or you’ll get coal in your stocking.”

  I blinked in surprise at the truth orb over her head. In a first for Rita, she’d told a lie … sort of. The orb flipped from black to gold and back again as if confused.

  “Huh?” I said, equally confused.

  In answer, Rita pointed down at the lower level. Nestled along one side was a North Pole scene with Christmas elves, reindeer, and an abominable snowman. Unlike any mall in the real world, this one had actual snow falling out of thin air. Completing the classic scene was a long line of players extending out of sight.

  “What are they waiting for?” I said.

  “To sit on Santa’s lap, of course.”

  The ball over her head was gold and steady.

  “You don’t see the statue?” she said.

  “I see it.”

  At the front of the line was a statue of Santa Claus sitting on a ruby throne. On the statue’s lap was a woman in silvery armor.

  “If you tell that thing what you want,” she said, “you’ll get a gift. There’s a chance it’ll be a really good item, too. Ward 2 quality. People stand in line all day for a chance at something free, then get back in line again. All day, every day.”

  The people in line weren’t talking to each other. In my perusal, I’d missed whatever happened with the armored woman. But a man in red robes sat down next. He whispered in Santa’s ear, and a few seconds later, a box appeared in his hands. Gift-wrapped. He ripped it open for a look, then shook his head and chucked it on a nearby pile of discarded gifts.

  Rita and I watched for maybe ten minutes to see if anyone got something good, but nobody did. The pile, we saw with some amusement, was kept to a manageable size by the elves, who’d periodically dump it back in Santa’s bag.

  “Have you tried it?” I said.

  Rita looked at me like I was crazy. “That’d be a definite no, Ethan. I’m a hero, not a gambler. Come on—store’s up this way.”

  After a final look at the strange phenomenon below, I followed her.

  Chapter Thirty

  Rita stopped outside a store called “Legendaria.” Before going in, she cautioned me about the sales staff.

  “They’re real jerks,” she said.

  “Then why are we going in?”

  “You’ll see.�
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  Upon entering, I had to tamp down a sudden feeling of exposure as we appeared to step outside. Legendaria had a sky and not a ceiling. Columns of scintillating light soared infinitely upward, merging in an explosion of gold, blue, and white. There were no walls, and the floor was a fuzzy sort of brightness we could walk on. This caused me to stumble at first, until I … well, got my feet under me. So to speak.

  “You can breathe, now,” Rita said.

  “My feet are fuzzy.”

  “It’s more than you deserve,” she said. “Come on. Let’s go look at all the cool crap they have.”

  I followed her to the nearest column of light. Floating inside, eye level, was a glowing suit of chainmail armor. As we stepped to within a few feet of it, the scene shifted to an image of me wearing the armor while fighting off salamanders in Under Town.

  Out of nowhere, I found myself smiling like an idiot. I looked awesome, as my grandfather would say.

  While chainmail-Ethan beat back the attack, the item’s attributes scrolled upwards on a loop. One of them caught my interest: anyone wearing the armor would be immune to fire.

  If I’d had this in Under Town…

  “That’s it,” I said, “I’m switching to warrior right now.”

  Rita snorted. “All this can be yours for the low price of 900,000 gold pieces.” She pointed below the scene, where a shimmering price tag rotated over a glimmering pile of Everlife coins.

  “Wonder if they take credit,” I said.

  “Not likely. Let’s keep looking.”

  The columns of light spread out around us in all directions, still with no walls in sight. I worried we’d get lost, but when I looked back, the exit to the mall was still visible.

  “Oh, look at these,” Rita said. She was ogling a pair of crimson bracers studded with sparkling jewels.

  I was about to tease her over the ridiculous price—500,000 gold—when a man I hadn’t seen stepped into view. He was tall and thin, with thinning black hair, and thin lips. He also had one of those thin mustaches that curl at the ends, like something out of an Industrial Age shaving cream advertisement.

  In a voice every bit as thin as the rest of him, the man said, “What are you ridiculous vagabonds doing within ten miles of this place? My god, look at you … Did you find that cloak you’re wearing? Is this a joke of some kind? Are my many rich and fabulous friends putting me on?” He looked around in mock hope as if one would burst onto the scene at any moment. “Oh, I see … One of my competitors sent you here to scare off real customers. Out, out! You’re going to upset my delicate equilibrium, and I still haven’t had tea.”

  Beside me, Rita growled. “We’re paying customers with money and we’re staying. Got it?”

  “I could have the guards drag you out,” the man said thoughtfully, scratching his chin. “But I rather like money. All right, purses out, chop-chop.”

  “I get it,” I said, nudging Rita. “He tells us we’re not good enough for the place, and that goads us into buying something. It’s a trick.”

  The man made a sound of disgust. “No, it isn’t. Don’t be absurd.”

  When his truth orb turned black, I smiled. The orb had also been black when he’d threatened to sick the “guards” on us.

  Rita pulled her purse out, and I stopped her.

  “Our finances are none of your business,” I said, “you ridiculous lizard. Where did you get this crap from, anyway? Cast-off presents from Santa’s lap? Crunk’s Junk had a sale?”

  Eyes narrowing to thin slits, the man said, “No need to get snippy. Touch anything without asking and I’ll have you flayed.”

  The orb stayed black as he walked stiffly away, nose in the air as if he couldn’t be bothered anymore.

  Rita was grinning like an imp. “Is that you, Ethan? Did you really just do that?”

  “He’s a fraud,” I said. “I wonder if it’s his idea or the owner’s.”

  “What are you, a mind reader? I thought for sure he was gonna throw us out.”

  My smile, when I graced her with it, was patient and wise.

  “Ah, gentle Rita,” I said. “Real estate in Mythian is too expensive to turn anyone away. Come on, let’s see if they have anything worth haggling over.”

  It took a while, but we did find a few less expensive items. Testing a theory, I snapped my fingers, and the obnoxious man stepped from behind a glowing column as if he’d been following us.

  I asked if the item I was looking at—a bracelet that let you run like a cheetah—could be had for 30,000 gold, and not 250,000. The man scoffed at my “ridiculous” suggestion. He countered that he wouldn’t part with such a fine piece for anything less than 100,000.

  The orb over his head turned gold.

  “I’ll think about it,” I said and strolled to the next display.

  Rita confided that she only had around 60,000 on her. The rest of her Swaze Pit loot was in the bank. For my part, I’d gotten nearly 70,000 from the adventurers’ purses, and close to 6,000 from the giant’s coin purse. I also had all their gear, which I planned to sell. So I could afford to pay the haggling price on some of this stuff.

  In the end, Rita walked out with a magical pin that let her fly for five minutes, twice a day, without the aid of potions. She’d had to fork over nearly all her money for it. The pin was worth it, she said, because the time needed to pull out a potion, uncork it, and take a swig was too long for emergencies.

  “And those potions taste awful,” she said.

  My purchase was cheaper and less immediately helpful: a Bag of Plentiful Gems. Once per day, I could reach inside and pull out a random gem. There was a 5% chance per draw to be a diamond or ruby, and a smaller chance to be an even rarer gem. The sign said it was a great investment that would pay for itself in a few years. Though priced at 160,000 gold, I was able to work the salesman down to 35,000 and a permanent scowl (no extra charge).

  Now I’d have a steady supply of gems to summon demons with.

  “We’re geared to the nines and nowhere to go,” Rita said.

  Still feeling good from whipping that sales guy, I said, “Is that a note of whimsy I detect?”

  “Ward 2’s five years away. Last I checked, I’m gonna be around that long. We could group again. I mean, if it won’t cramp your style or anything.”

  No, it wouldn’t cramp my style. But eventually I would make it to Ward 2, and I could only imagine how Melody would react to me spending so much time with someone as pleasant as Rita.

  “Ugh,” Rita said, rolling her eyes. “Would you please get over yourself? I know games, and you don’t. You’re a twink, and I’m not. Once you learn a few things, you’ll make both our games easier. Strictly business.”

  I nodded. “So, where were you thinking of first?”

  “We never finished Under Town,” she said. “It goes deeper. Probably too easy for you, but we can at least get it behind us.”

  I held out my hand and we shook on it. “Sounds like a plan.”

  Chapter Thirty-One

  After selling what loot I didn’t need, I used 25,000 gold to purchase new gear from Magical Matters. No, I wasn’t above buying from William just because he wasn’t in a fancy tower. He had great stuff and a lot of helpful suggestions.

  My new calf-high boots came with an extra enchantment to keep water out, even if I were swimming in them. They also gave me +50 agility—a stat that had come in handy on several occasions.

  The two rings I purchased were a set, which—if worn together—gave 20% protection from all physical damage. William said I could swim in boiling water without burning, or fall off a cliff without dying.

  “What if I fall off a cliff into boiling water?” I said.

  William just smiled.

  For robes … well, I was sick of wearing robes. They looked foolish, for one, and quickly got warm and sweaty. William sold me a pair of leather pants enchanted to feel like denim, and a black leather jerkin with +35 strength, +75 vitality, and 10% pain reduction.
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br />   When I showed Rita, she seemed skeptical of my purchases.

  “Real wizards wear robes,” she said. “Real wizards stack intelligence.”

  “Ah, but I’m not a wizard. And I’m fed up with being hurt all the time.”

  “You’re telling me about pain?” she said.

  Too late, I remembered how miserable fighting was for Rita, forced to absorb hits, stings, scaldings, and punctures from the creatures we’d battled in Under Town.

  “You know what I mean.”

  “Yeah,” she said, “I do.”

  After finishing up Under Town, we traveled north from Heroes’ Landing taking whichever roads looked interesting to us. To earn XP, we fought ogres, the occasional giant, and ferocious creatures like wolves and bears. Once, we barely escaped a tribe of centaurs in a pleasant valley we’d wandered into. Neither of us got hurt too badly, or killed, but only because of her flight pin.

  Even though I was higher level, my points-to-level was lower than Rita’s, given that she was Normal Mode. Paradoxically, our levels slowly began to converge. Over the next month I gained seventeen levels, and Rita twenty-one. To my chagrin, my progress was noticeably slower than in the swamp.

  Eventually, by experimenting with both solo and group kills, we figured it out. The game was penalizing me because of her immortality. To counter this, Rita announced her intention to enable Hard Mode. We argued over it for three days. When I refused to show her how, she said she’d go back and get Bernard to show her, and I finally gave in.

  “Don’t worry,” she said after making the change. “I’m not doing the swamp trial thing. Not if it means catching people in lies, or dropping to fifty lives.”

  “I think you should have stayed immortal. Then you’d have endless lives.”

  “You know, it might surprise you,” she said, “but sometimes I go for days not caring what you think.”

  The more time we spent together, the more I learned Rita could be grumpy sometimes.

  Yes, I eventually told her the full extent of the Curse of Knowledge—that I could tell if she were lying or not.