Don't Cry for Me

by Rachel Lacey

  Josie folded her arms over her chest, argument dying on her tongue. Not anymore. Because Eve had done this before, all of it. As hard as it was for Josie to picture her as part of anything as domestic as this morning after, borrowed T-shirts and awkward conversations, Eve had been married. She’d lived a life a million times more domestic than anything Josie herself had experienced.

  “You can leave now if you want, but that doesn’t make me one of your one-night stands,” Josie said quietly.

  Eve kept her back turned as she wiped down the kitchen counter.

  “I have muffins in the pantry. Or I’ll see you on Monday for work. Tuesday, actually, because the bar’s closed on Monday. Your choice.”

  Eve smoothed her hands over the front of the T-shirt before reaching up to tuck her hair behind her ears, flattening it beneath her palms. She turned to face Josie. “What kind of muffins?”

  Josie hid her smile. “Coffee cake and chocolate chip. I have a sweet tooth in the morning.”

  Eve’s lips twitched as if she were hiding a smile of her own. “I don’t usually, but today I think I might.”

  “I’m rubbing off on you.” She nudged her shoulder against Eve’s as she walked to the pantry and pulled out the box of muffins. She set it on the counter so Eve could help herself and reached up for two coffee mugs, since Eve had already brewed a pot for them. She was planning to leave, but she still made me coffee. Josie grinned as she poured herself a cup. She got out the milk and sugar, and they prepared their breakfast quietly, carrying muffins and coffee into the living room to eat. “I have to be back downstairs in just a few hours.”

  “Weekends are busy for you,” Eve said, breaking off a little piece of her muffin and popping it into her mouth. Of course she’d eat it that way.

  Josie lifted the whole thing and took a big bite, chewing thoughtfully. “Weekends are exhausting.”

  “I bet.”

  “Will I see you? You know, before Tuesday?” she asked cautiously. “I mean, just for the record, I had a really good time last night, and I’d really like to do this again…preferably when we could actually spend a whole night together instead of going to bed at daybreak.”

  “Latest night I’ve had in ages,” Eve agreed, carefully avoiding the question.

  “Well, you know where to find me, if you decide you want to,” Josie said, realizing she had no idea where Eve lived. It was disconcerting when she thought of how often Eve had been in her apartment over the last two weeks. Granted, it had been primarily for the sake of the kittens, but still.

  “I do,” Eve agreed, and well…it wasn’t a no.

  “Do you live far from here?” she asked.

  “The East Village,” Eve answered.

  Josie immediately pictured her in one of the sleek, high-rise apartment buildings in that part of town. “What’s that, about a half an hour from here?”

  “About that, yes.”

  Eve looked at the kittens, currently snuggled against their surrogate mother, fast asleep. “Can you keep them permanently now that you have a full staff?”

  Somehow, they hadn’t discussed this yet, although Josie figured they were both assuming that she would. “It’s not ideal, but they’re too big now to sit in a box behind your desk, so yeah, I’ll make it work.”

  “Good,” Eve said with a decisive nod, and Josie wondered if it was wishful thinking on her part that she looked vaguely wistful.

  “You know you’re welcome to visit them anytime,” she said.

  Eve shot her a warning look.

  Josie laughed. “You don’t even have to see me if you don’t want to. You know the code to the door. Just text me and let me know you’re stopping by.”

  “That’s ridiculous,” Eve said.

  “Coming up without seeing me is a little bit ridiculous, yeah, but visiting them isn’t. You’re invested, Eve. Of course you are. You saved their lives and nursed them through their first week.”

  Eve looked down at her hands. “I need to go.”

  “Okay. Hey…” She tugged at the pink sleeve of Eve’s shirt, drawing her in for a lazy kiss. With a sigh, Eve relaxed, kissing her back. “I really am glad we spent last night together…or this morning…whenever.”

  “Me too,” she murmured against Josie’s lips before she pulled back and slid to her feet.

  “You can borrow anything you need, clothes, toiletries, whatever,” Josie told her, wrapping her arms around her knees.

  “Thank you.” Eve went into the bedroom, closing the door behind her.

  Josie sat on the couch, sipping coffee and trying not to imagine what she was doing in there or whether she’d ever get to see Eve in one of her T-shirts again, whether she’d kiss her, hold her, strip her naked. Somehow, she had to believe the answer was yes. Yes to all of it.

  Eve might like to think she was unaffected by the power of their connection, but Josie had held her, trembling and begging, as Eve came apart in her arms, and she didn’t think it had been just sex for her either. She came out of Josie’s bedroom a few minutes later, wearing a floor-length black T-shirt dress that was a size too big for her, hair neatly brushed and purse over her shoulder. Naturally, she’d managed to find what was probably the only dress Josie owned.

  “I’ll return it the next time I see you,” Eve said.

  “Sure.”

  She walked to the door but paused there, looking over her shoulder at Josie. “Thanks.”

  For what, Josie wasn’t sure, but she smiled anyway, because whatever Eve meant, she was grateful for it. “Any time.”

  And with a nod, Eve was gone.

  Josie sat there for a few minutes in silence, just absorbing everything that had happened in the last twenty-four hours. Dragonfly’s grand opening. Her night with Eve. It was a lot to process, but it was all good. She refused to entertain the worries nagging at the back of her brain that the bar might be empty tonight without the draw of the cameras, that Dragonfly would still keep her from investing herself in her rescue the way she wanted to, and that Eve might go back to all business now that they’d released the sexual tension between them.

  Josie shook her head and picked up her coffee mug. None of that. The new bar was exciting. There would definitely be fewer patrons tonight without the lure of cameras, but Eve had helped her set up a lot of advertising, so people would come. And even if Eve returned them to a strictly business relationship, she’d still be grateful for the night they’d shared.

  One thing Josie had learned over the years was that life rarely went in the direction she expected. She finished her coffee and carried the mug to the kitchen. It was almost two, and she had a lot to do before Dragonfly opened for its second day. On that note, she showered, dressed, and went downstairs. She sat in her office and spent some time on social media, adding photos from last night and responding to customer comments.

  Before she knew it, Adam was poking his head in the doorway. “Hey, boss.”

  She laughed. “Ugh, don’t call me that. It just feels weird.”

  He dropped into her guest chair with a grin. “Even weirder when I ask about your night, because hot damn, girl, you and Eve looked like you were about to go at it right there in the bar when I left. Please tell me you took her upstairs once you got her alone.”

  Josie’s cheeks flushed hot. “I did.”

  He whooped, leaning forward to give her a fist bump. “And?”

  “And it was great…like, really great.” She sighed as she remembered the feel of Eve’s naked body pressed against hers and all the intimate things they’d shared, both in and out of bed.

  “I’m happy for you, Jo. It’s been a while since I’ve seen you this taken with someone. How did you leave things?”

  “Well, I told her I wanted to see her again, but I don’t know if she’s going to take me up on it or not.”

  “She’d be a fool not to,” he said. “But what’s the hang-up? You like each other. Your gig on her show’s finished. You had a great night together. Why wouldn’
t you go for round two?”

  She shrugged. “She’s more of the ‘one night’ type, or so she says.”

  “I guess I can see that about her,” he said, looking thoughtful. “And believe me, I have nothing against one-night stands. But they’re usually more of a spontaneous thing, whereas you guys were simmering for weeks. Definitely feels like the start of something more.”

  “Yeah, well, she’s been hurt in the past, so I think she’s afraid to go there again,” Josie said quietly. “And I can’t blame her. She’s been through a lot.”

  “Is she still in the closet?” he asked.

  “No, it’s not that. It’s just…something personal I don’t feel comfortable sharing without her permission.”

  “Gotcha, but I’ll just add this…sharing deep, dark secrets isn’t something one usually does with a one-night stand either,” he said, eyebrows raised dramatically.

  “I know.” She closed her laptop with another sigh. “I really like her, and I’ll do what I can to nudge her in the right direction, but if she truly doesn’t want a relationship, then I have to respect that.”

  He leaned back in his seat. “Ugh, you’re so good.”

  “I know,” she said playfully as she stood from behind her desk. “Ready to help me open? I’ve got to run back upstairs and feed the kittens first, though.”

  “Want a hand?”

  “Always.”

  So she and Adam fed the kittens together. Elizabeth arrived to work the rooftop bar again tonight. And soon enough, the doors were open. No line waited outside tonight, but by five thirty, they had a handful of customers, and by seven, the place was packed. This was busier than any Saturday night in Swanson’s recent history. And already, she loved Dragonfly’s crowd so much more. Her bar was filled with a virtual rainbow of people. Her people. It filled her with joy every time she looked around the room.

  Just after midnight, her gaze caught on a brunette at the end of the bar, wearing skinny jeans and a flowy black top. Josie’s heart gave a weird double beat that made her head swim. Eve had come after all.

  19

  “Welcome to Dragonfly. I’m Josie.”

  Eve stared into Josie’s laughing eyes, unsure what to make of the introduction. Was she trying to have a little fun, or was something else going on?

  “House specialty,” Josie said as she set a glass on the bar in front of Eve. “It’s called Midnight in Manhattan, and since it’s actually midnight in Manhattan—and also here in Brooklyn—you should try one.”

  “I didn’t order it,” Eve pointed out, reluctant to play along with this game Josie had started. But then again, a little role-play might keep her from having to address other uncomfortable topics…like why she was here tonight in the first place.

  “You look like the kind of woman who would appreciate a romantic drink,” Josie said, leaning her elbows on the bar with a satisfied smile.

  “Romantic?” she asked.

  Josie winked dramatically. “Rumor has it, if you drink one at midnight, you’ll fall in love by the end of the year.”

  “Hm.” Eve lifted the glass and gave it a swirl. “I’m not much of a romantic, so I guess I’ll take my chances.” She lifted it to her lips and sipped.

  Josie looked delighted. “What do you think?”

  “It’s very good,” Eve told her honestly. “Has it been popular?”

  “Yeah,” Josie said, smile softening as she dropped the act. “It’s the most popular drink on the menu, by far. I may have to send Adam out for more lemons before the end of the night.”

  “And how are things going tonight, compared to last night?” she asked, falling easily into her role as marketing consultant. It was a hell of a lot easier to pretend she’d stopped by to check on Josie for professional reasons than admitting she couldn’t get her out of her head no matter how hard she tried. And she’d tried pretty damn hard.

  “It’s quieter than last night,” Josie said. “But we knew it would be. I think it’s a good crowd for a Saturday night. Don’t you?” Her voice slipped up in register at the end, doubt leaking into her tone.

  “I do,” Eve told her. “You’re doing great.”

  “I hope so,” Josie said. “Be right back.”

  She moved down the bar, lavender hair gleaming as she mixed drinks, smiling and laughing, sharing jokes and conversation. So beautiful. Josie was always energetic and outgoing, but she really seemed to shine when she worked. Eve could watch her all night. In fact, she’d be perfectly content to do just that. She sipped her drink as she watched Josie mix cocktails for a couple a few seats down.

  “She’s good, isn’t she?”

  Eve turned her head to find Adam standing in front of her, a knowing smile on his face. “Yes, she is.”

  “Can’t seem to keep you out of this place,” he said playfully.

  “Well, I’m invested in its success,” Eve said with a shrug. She liked Adam well enough, despite her doubts about his skills as a bartender, but she had no desire to discuss her personal relationship with Josie with him.

  “And in Josie,” he said, eyebrows rising for emphasis.

  “Yes,” she answered evenly, holding his gaze.

  His grin widened. “Good.” He slapped his palms against the bar, seemingly satisfied with her answer, and moved off to serve a couple of women who’d just come in.

  Eve lifted her glass and drained it, savoring the warmth of liquor in her belly. She was going to need liquid courage to make it through the rest of the night, four hours until the bar closed…if she wanted to be here when Josie got off work.

  “Want another?” Josie said, appearing in front of her.

  “Sure.”

  “Coming right up.” Josie turned to the counter behind her, deftly mixing ingredients. She gave the tin a shake before pouring its contents into a fresh glass, which she placed in front of Eve. She looked down at it, a wrinkle appearing between her eyes. “Does it still bother you to be here? You know, in a bar?”

  Eve straightened reflexively. “No.”

  “Honestly?” Josie looked up, her eyes searching Eve’s.

  She hadn’t consciously thought about it, but her reasons for being uncomfortable tonight had nothing to do with the past and everything to do with the future. “Honestly. You’ve desensitized me to it, I guess.”

  Josie flinched. “I’m not sure I want to be responsible for desensitizing you to anything.”

  “It was a silly hang-up of mine, but I’m past it now.”

  Josie rested a hand over Eve’s. “There was nothing silly about it.”

  Eve sucked in a lungful of air and blew it out. “I hadn’t been in a bar since the night she died, and it brought back some very visceral memories. I’m sorry for letting it affect my judgment when it came to the show.”

  “Don’t you dare apologize. I’m just…I’m really glad you’re here.” The alarm went off on Josie’s phone, and she swiped it from her pocket with a frown. She silenced it, glancing at the packed bar. Adam was here, but he mixed drinks at about half Josie’s usual speed.

  “I’ll do it,” Eve said, sliding off her stool. “Just put my drink behind the bar so no one touches it.”

  “Thank you,” Josie told her earnestly. “I appreciate it.”

  She nodded, turning to weave her way through the people in the bar. It really was a good turnout for Josie’s second night and boded well for Dragonfly’s future success. Eve slipped out the back, punched in the code to the stairs, and headed up to Josie’s apartment. It was dark inside, lit only by the small lamp in the living room that she left on for the kittens.

  Eve had come up countless times over the last two weeks to feed them, but suddenly, it felt strange to be here alone. Because now, she was thinking about kissing Josie against the kitchen counter, stripping her naked in the bedroom, sitting on the couch in her pink T-shirt as they shared muffins and coffee.

  She pressed her hands against her flushed cheeks. God, she needed to get a grip. But her grip had slippe
d the moment she decided to walk into Dragonfly tonight. Because Josie surely knew as well as Eve did that she was here because she wanted to wind up in Josie’s bed again tonight. They’d barely gotten a chance to explore each other last night. It hadn’t been enough. She needed more. Surely another night would do the trick.

  She walked into the kitchen to prepare bottles, and then carried all the supplies with her into the living room. Hamilton and Blanche were awake, crawling around their playpen on wobbly legs. They’d gotten so much bigger—and stronger—in the two weeks since she’d pulled them out of that trash can.

  “Hey, you,” she said, lifting Blanche into her lap. “Hungry?”

  Blanche meowed, heading straight for the bottle like a little pro. So different from that first night, when Eve hadn’t been able to wake her, when she’d feared the kitten might die in her hands. Tonight, Blanche latched onto the bottle and drank hungrily. When she’d finished eating, Eve cleaned her up and let Blanche snuggle in her lap while she cared for the other kittens.

  Josie’s orange cat sat on the couch beside her, staring at her while she worked. It was unsettling. Eve did her best to ignore him. Once the three boys had been fed and cared for and returned to their playpen, Eve looked down at the little white kitten. Blanche was nestled against her stomach, face pressed against her shirt, fast asleep. For a few minutes, Eve just sat there, fingers stroking her soft fur. Her gaze caught on a droplet of spilled formula on her blouse.

  Dammit.

  Tears flooded her eyes, and since no one was here to see, she let them drip silently over her cheeks as she thought of the daughter she’d never met, the middle-of-the-night feedings that had never happened, the loss that sometimes got swallowed up in the enormity of Lisa’s death. Eve had lost her whole world that night. The fear, the pain, so much blood, as she’d held on to Lisa’s limp body in the seat beside her, praying for the paramedics to arrive in time to save her, to save them both.