Someone Else's Life

by Lacey Ann Carrigan

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  The morning of Natalie’s annual appointment at the center, she felt like she was going to a funeral. She wore her nicest fuchsia suit with cobalt piping and accents. When Nathan saw her he said “Dang!” and promptly changed into a navy blue pinstriped suit he’d worn for various occasions since the late 2000’s.

  At first Natalie said “Why do we have to get dressed up?”

  Her mother lifted her daughter’s chin with her fingertips, looked deeply into her eyes for a moment and said “Because we want to keep you, that’s why.”

  Natalie went back to her room and changed into her nicest lace dress, the one that showed off her hair and her tan. They silently rode through the desert, with the miles and miles of solar panels and windmills. Suella had only told her husband about the special boarding schools a couple of days before. At the time he had shrugged, then nodded, saying that a boarding school experience might be good for her. He said it was what all the other “rich snobs” did with their kids.

  To break the silence, Nathan started to ask questions to Natalie, who sat in the back seat. Suella, who drove, chuckled to herself when she saw that they were looking at each other by the visor vanity mirror. “So how would you feel about going away to school?”

  “It’d be all right. They don’t have a soccer team, though.”

  She was talking about Waldheim, which Suella found out was in Riverside, about sixty miles away. The other school, Brooksville, was also in California, but in Los Gatos, at the other side of the state.

  “There’s probably some type of girl’s intramural league you could join,” he said.

  “Or something,” Natalie murmured.

  Suella’s heart beat faster and faster and her arms tingled the closer and closer they got to Lifewind. To distract herself, she put in her two cents worth about the current conversation. “Sweetheart, you know, soon you’ll need to think about keeping your grades up. So you can get into the best college. Maybe you should be thinking about that instead.”

  “Mom, I’m only fourteen,” she said.

  It was easy for Suella to forget that her daughter was still a child. She’d grown recently and now saw almost eye to eye with her. Though she was still very thin, she had developed some womanly curves, also. Just by looking at her, Suella could relive painful memories of her own adolescence, when she was also stick thin and painfully shy. Years of working as a hospital secretary had cured her of that, though.

  As they approached the center, Nathan squinted when he saw the fences, a tower and guards near the front gate. “You know what?” he said, “It always slightly creeped me out that so much of this place is underground. I mean, what are they hiding?”

  “Nice car, Mrs. Worthy,” a mirror-glasses wearing guard said to her when he checked them in at the gate.

  When Suella had parked the car, she gripped the car and closed her eyes for a moment. “What’s wrong?” Nathan asked.

  “I’m nervous,” she told him, leaning her head toward his shoulder. He brought his arms up to her for a quick embrace. Together they got out of the car and started the long walk to the lobby.

  When they arrived a nurse greeting them said “Well don’t you all look nice!”

  She motioned for Natalie to follow her to the examination rooms. Suella sat down.

  Nathan still stood, strolling through the waiting room, which had grown more sterile and clinical over the years. Soon a formal and professional Dr. Allende met them in the lobby. She wore a touch more makeup than normal, and she had also taken care to wear a sharply appointed lavender dress underneath her lab coat. Nathan offered Suella a hand, to help her out of her chair.

  Dr. Allende offered a slight, cordial smile. “It’s very nice to see you today, Mr. Worthy. And you too, Mrs. Worthy. Please follow me to the office back here.”

  Suella noticed that the doctor carried a projectible wand, most likely the one carrying Natalie’s medical information. Nathan took Suella’s hand, to escort her down the hall toward the wooden office door. When Dr. Allende opened the door, Suella saw a long table with a group of white-coated medical professionals sitting around it. Some, she recognized immediately, such as Dr. Polidore, yet most, she did not. A recording secretary sat in the corner, working screens. There was a blue-uniformed security guard standing against the far wall.

  Dr. Polidore spoke first, his voice gravelly than it was when Natalie was born. He greeted Nathan and Suella and offered them seats at an empty part of the table, across from the row of appraising eyes. When everyone had settled in, Dr. Pollidore spoke again. “Well, without further adieu, let’s please get started.”

  Suella put her hands on the armrests, ready to push herself up. “Should our attorney be here?” she asked.

  Dr. Allende quickly spoke up. “Mrs. Worthy, we’re not here to scar you or judge you. We’re here to discuss what’s best for Natalie.”

  Suella allowed herself to ease back down into her chair. “Okay.”

  Dr. Pollidore said “This is not to downplay the recent incident and your actions over the past couple of years. In fact we’re reserving judgment until after Natalie’s examination.”

  Suella let out a breath. In some ways, she realized, the whole thing had indeed blown over.

  Dr. Pollidore continued. “We feel that given the recent circumstances and Natalie’s progression into her adolescence that it may be best for her to attend one of our academies.” Nathan, who’d been staring Dr. Pollidore down like a hawk, nodded.

  Suella spoke for the both of them. “We were just recently discussing that very thing. In fact Natalie’s leaning toward Waldheim.”

  Dr. Allende nodded. “That’s a good choice.”

  “Yes,” Natalie agreed. “For one thing, it’s close. I’m assuming we will get to see her there, won’t we?”

  “Oh, yes,” Dr. Pollidore said, glancing around the table at his colleagues, who also nodded and agreed. “You’ll have chaperoned visitation rights.”

  “Chaperoned?” Suella asked.

  “Yes,” Dr. Allende said, her face showing a grim, wrinkle-browed look Suella had never seen before.

  Nathan’s eyes narrowed as he looked at the doctors sitting across from them. “Will she be in the same room with us, or will we have to talk to her through one of those wire dealies?”

  Suella poked him in the thigh and flashed him a look of disapproval. Patiently, Dr. Allende answered the question. “Yes, you’ll be in the same room. You’ll be able to tour the grounds with her, as well, as long as the chaperone is present.”

  “I don’t know if I like the sound of this. Is this how all the other kids at Waldheim are treated?”

  “We have to think of what’s best for Natalie,” Dr. Pollidore said, with an air of intensity. What transpired under your care severely endangered her.”

  Suella decided to ask the question she feared the most. “She would still be able to come home in the summer, wouldn’t she?”

  Dr. Allende and Dr. Pollidore glanced at one another, before Dr. Allende slowly said “I’m afraid not.”

  Suella felt as if she’d been stabbed with an icicle. When she looked over at Nathan, she saw his face darken. “This is our daughter,” Nathan said. “Not some teen punk. You can’t just keep her locked up all summer. She likes sports. She’d never agree to something like that. It’d destroy her spirit.”

  Suella nodded, holding Nathan’s hand tightly.

  Dr. Pollidore regarded Nathan and raised his eyebrow before speaking. One of the other doctors sitting nearby took off his glasses to regard Nathan out of squinting eyes. “We feel this is best. For Natalie. For you.”

  “Is there any alternative?” Suella asked, weakly.

  Dr. Allende and Dr. Pollidore glanced at each other, again. “You wouldn’t like it, I can guarantee. We could press charges for child endangerment. Sue for wrongful lif
e. None of it pleasant.”

  “Wrongful life?” Nathan shouted. “You would sue us when it’s your organization that cloned Suella?”

  “Read the contract, Mr. Worthy.”

  Nathan let out an exasperated snort.

  Dr. Allende faced Suella and Nathan, and when she spoke her voice was softly tinged with compassion. “We feel this is best,” she said. “You’ll have Natalie for the rest of the spring and summer. In the fall she’ll be starting her first year of secondary school. You’ll still be able to see her as much as you want. It’s a good deal.”

  “What happens when she turns eighteen?” Suella asked.

  “She’ll be a legal adult,” Dr. Pollidore said. “By then she will have graduated and she’ll be free to go wherever she pleases.”

  On one hand Suella hoped that Natalie would go directly into a prestigious university, but when the time came she felt she might want to make up for four lost years instead. She nodded.

  For the rest of the meeting with the doctors, they spoke about living arrangements at Waldheim and Natalie’s medical care. By the time Dr. Pollidore wrapped up the meeting, Suella felt tired and leaden. When they all stood up to walk out into the hallway, Suella saw a nurse out there standing beside Natalie. Nathan stepped out into the hallway first. Natalie ran to him, desperately wrapping both arms around his chest “Daddy!” she said, sobbing into his shoulder.

  On the way home, they sat motionless in the car at first, drained from the day’s pain. Suella tried to force a smile. As Dr. Pollidore kept on saying, it could have been so much worse. She turned toward the back seat for a moment. “Who wants to get chili dogs?” she asked her family.

  Starting with them all getting chili dogs together, they silently agreed it was best to enjoy every moment between now and the end of August. Suella had fully expected that she and Nathan would be driving back together without Natalie. When she sat in the back seat of her car, she felt like a death row inmate who has received a pardon from the governor. At first, things went on as they usually did. She worked during the day, helping defend people’s systems and databases. Natalie went to school.

  Natalie insisted on attending every little soccer practice and game. Suella understood, volunteering to drive on many occasions. She knew her daughter feared that come the fall, it might be awhile before she played soccer again. For two weeks, she was alone in the house with Natalie because Nathan crossed the country again on tour for his book. He called her from Chicago, where he told her that they were thinking of making a movie from it, also.

  A couple of months later, when Nathan finished his book touring, and Natalie finished the eighth grade, they all drove to Oceanside. All of the projectibles and receivers stayed home. None of them were even allowed to bring telephones. For a solid week their job was to frollick in the surf together, lie together on the sand, cook their meals together and stay up late laughing together over all their funny stories. By the time they had to drive back north, Suella felt more relaxed than she had in years.

  With Natalie off of school for the summer and Nathan free of his book touring obligations for the moment, it meant that father and daughter could spend days together, playing golf or tennis, or doing yard work. Many times Suella felt like she was a child who was forced to stay inside and practice piano on a warm summer day. At the same time it warmed her heart to see Natalie so happy.

  July of that summer, the powers that be inducted Nathan Worthy into the Baseball Hall of Fame. They flew together to New York and would catch a bullet to the little town called Cooperstown. In the meantime Nathan and Suella showed Natalie all of the sights of the Big Apple. She tried to forget that she lived there while she and Nathan were dating and during their early marriage. All these years later she resolved that she would pretend that she was a tourist seeing the city for the first time. In a way she was seeing it for the first time since she never got around to doing all the tourist-ey things when they lived there. They started with a tour of the Victory Towers at the 911 Memorial Museum. With all the glass, the beautiful indoor gardens with the sunlight of a summer day shining through, she could almost forget something so awful happened here when she was still a young hospital secretary.

  From there, they rode an old elevator to the top of the Empire State Building. With all its gleaming concrete, glass, and marble on the floors inside, it was hard to believe that the building was 100 years old. At first Natalie stayed close to the core, near the hallway door for the elevator. She had a worried expression on her face. Nathan had raced to the railings and iron overhangs, where he gazed out at the panorama below them. Looking back to Natalie, he said “You’re not afraid of heights, are you?”

  Suella patted Natalie on the back. “If I can do it, so can you. Come on out.

  You’ll see.” She held her hand out for Natalie, who took a tiny, shuffling step forward but then stood fast.

  “No. You can look out there,” she said. “I’ll stay back here.”

  “But it’s a beautiful day,” Suella protested. “You can see everything.”

  Natalie’s face still kept a frightened look but she looked around at the railings.

  As she did, her expression calmed. Suella looked out there, too and saw children with their parents, some Natalie’s age but many were younger. They held the iron bars and looked out over the sea of activity in Manhattan, with smiles on their faces. Squeezing her mother’s hand, little by little Natalie stepped along toward the railing. When they reached the edge and they both reached out for the railing together, Natalie said “Whoa!”

  She saw the emerald trees of Central Park in one direction, the bridges and the distant Atlantic ocean in another, the cacophony of buildings leading to the horizon and the swarms of moving vehicles.

  “Hey, Natalie, you guys are looking in the direction of the co-op we used to live in when we were first married,” Nathan said. “See if you can point it out to her.”

  When Suella searched the avenues for the building where they lived, it struck her that so many trolleys floated along the streets. She’d heard that public works programs had brought them back after the 2010 Depression, but she and Nathan were already living in California by then. An educational program segment she’d once seen showed that they used the same SuperMagnet technology used in the newest cars. They’d revamped all the subways the same way, and Suella couldn’t believe how clean, safe, and smooth they were.

  More importantly, she realized that now she was melding with Natalie in the most important way. Her daughter cheerfully looked down at the antlike pedestrians, the sunlight glistening off water and building glass, and the glowing, moving video images creating mirrors of the humanity they reflected. Spontaneously she hugged Natalie, who reached up and patted her face with her soft hand. “I love you,” Suella said.

  “I love you too, mom,” Natalie told her.

  When they rode the elevator back down, Nathan said that they should get an authentic Chinese lunch in Chinatown. It was just a short, safe, smooth subway ride away. They found a restaurant with dim lighting, warm candles and lots of lush velour. After the waiter took their order (and gave a bow that seemed stereotypical to Suella), Nathan made an announcement. “We’re going to have to get up early tomorrow.”

  Suella and Natalie looked at each other, both of them bewildered. “Why?” Suella asked. “You said you don’t have to be in Cooperstown until tomorrow night.”

  “Yes, I know. But that was before NBC contacted me. They want me on the Today Show.”

  “Ooh, that’s my favorite!” Natalie said, clapping her hands together with joy. “Could I meet Clark Hastings?” Clark was one of the young anchors for the show, who had become a girl’s teen heartthrob.

  Suella said “Honey, I don’t think they’d allow us into the airing. The green room maybe.”

  Nathan waved a hand dismissively. “Naw. It could get kind of boring in there. But
old Clark does sometimes go out into the street to meet all the people by the curb.”

  “He does?” Natalie started bouncing up and down in her seat. “Let’s be one of the people out by the curb, mom. Let’s be one of the people by the curb!”

  “Okay,” Suella said, patting Natalie’s hand. “But afterwards, we have to see the Metropolitan. There’s no way we can be in this city and not see it while we’re here.”

  After dinner that evening they found a pharmacy supermarket near the hotel and Suella bought posterboard and glitter markers. She drew up a poster while Nathan and Natalie surfed screens together. When she was finished, she showed them the poster.

  Nathan grinned at it while Natalie crinkled her nose in mild disgust.

  “Mom, that’s really q,” Natalie said, which Suella had only recently learned was a put-down among the younger generation.

  “Well, you want your lover boy to notice you tomorrow, right?” Suella said. “He’ll see our sign and come over and talk to us.”

  Natalie snickered and snorted. “He’ll see our sign and laugh.”

  “We’ll see who’s right tomorrow, young lady!”

  Early was right. Nathan got them up at four o’clock in the morning. Natalie groaned when he nudged her gently. “Come on, darling,” he said, “Clark Hastings is waiting.”

  Gradually, she lifted herself up from the bed, groggily saying “I know. I know.” After they all showered, she chose her prettiest lace edged jumper to wear and lifted her thick hair away from her face with delicate barrettes. Suella also wore a sleeveless top. They’d baked the day before in their longer sleeves, as she re-learned that northeastern heat was much different from California heat. Nathan wore another one of his suits for the interview, a much more summery taupe one with a pastel striped shirt and double tie.

  After a quick, room service breakfast they ventured out the front door into the straining dawn and boarded the subway for Rockefeller Plaza.

  When they arrived at the concourse near the plaza, where one group of fans always stood, it was ten minutes after five. Bright lights from the nearby buildings still shone and Suella could also see the first rays of morning light slice through the pathways between the buildings. They found a spot behind the floating gate about a hundred yards from the studio. “Mom, don’t you think we should get a little closer?” Natalie said.

  “I think in another hour or so we’re going to be glad that we got this spot.” A red-haired middle-aged lady who’d been standing in a group beside them turned, her eyebrows raised and she nodded.

  After standing for only a half hour, Natalie started shifting her weight and frowning. “This is unbearable,” she said. “When’s it going to start?”

  A boy who appeared to be in high school overheard her this time. “They turn the video screens on after seven,” he said. “It gets much more fun after that.”

  Many other young people had shown up that morning, with their parents. As they all waited anxiously, they texted or screen-surfed with projectibles. After awhile, so many different types of music played on so many different audio systems that it all sounded like symphonic mush to Suella.

  Suella felt glad when they finally did turn the video screens on and that day’s show began. The crowd cheered as the main anchors for the show, Travis Redding and a former Miss Universe, honey-colored Shamiya Braxton, started to name off the guests who would appear that day. “Ah, they’re all boring,” Natalie said, as she watched and listened.

  The camera focused on Travis, a sandy-haired guy with pale blue eyes. He said “And we have a special treat for all you baseball fans. Methuselah himself is in our studio today, Mr. Nathan Worthy. He’s going into the hall of fame in a couple of days.”

  Surprisingly, a few people in the crowd around them started to cheer. It never ceased to amaze Suella how popular her husband still was.

  Over the next hour, a chef appeared to showcase one of his latest seafood creations. An actress Suella didn’t recognize talked about her new movie.

  The crowd gasped when the cameras cut to a view outside, in the street. “Oh my god, get ready,” someone said. Suella looked up and saw a glamorous tanned blond girl in a floral sundress mingling with the crowd on the video screen, the weather girl.

  “Aw, that’s around the corner,” a disgusted male voice said.

  The weather girl cut up with a few of the people along the curb flashing signs and banners, then paused for a moment to announce that day’s weather forecast. When she finished, she said “That’s how things are here at 30 Rock, now let’s look at the weather where you are!”

  For the next few segments a woman told how she rescued a little boy from an alligator in Florida, the movie critic spoke about that weekend’s new releases, and Travis gave a dry news report about congressional hearings that week. Suella looked down at her clock and saw that it was quarter after nine. Would any of the news personalities come mingle out here? After a round of mind-numbing commercials, Natalie suddenly tugged her mother’s blouse strap. “There’s dad!” she exclaimed.

  White Travis narrated the screen showed images of Nathan as a New York player striking someone out, the still shot of him painting the strike zone black, and then the famous one of him picking off two players on the same play. When the images dissolved, she saw a twelve-foot high rendition of her husband’s face, smiling. They hadn’t turned the sound up very high, and Suella had to strain to hear him say such things as “…glad I made it on the second ballot.”

  It was over as quickly as it began.

  A few more commercials beamed up onto the video screens, causing Suella to look down at her clock. It was past nine-thirty. The show only taped until 10:00.

  Would they get their chance? No matter what had happened, she decided that they had much more fun getting up to join the crowd than sleeping in and watching Nathan’s appearance on the hotel screen. She sighed while the show went into its next segment, one that showcased a chubby guy with glasses talking about the hot new gadgets for spring. Shamiya Braxton then interviewed a woman author about a book detailing the latest dieting method. Natalie still stood close to her, and Suella gave her a quick hug.

  The crowd a few yards up the street started jumping up and down and cheering. Natalie braced herself against Suella’s shoulder and stretched on her tiptoes to see over the heads in the crowd. “Oh my god, it’s him!”

  Suella saw the bright light surrounding the cameraman first. Then she saw Clark, who was so impeccably groomed and coiffed, wearing a smart tan suit, that he didn’t seem real. She stared at him, transfixed by the smooth confidence, the easy smile and the girl-killing good looks. Natalie reached down and grabbed the poster from her. “Hold the poster up, mom! What are you doing?” She held onto one side of the posterboard and Natalie took the other side. Clark, who had just stepped away from someone, started walking toward them. He smiled and quickened his pace, heading right for them, holding a microphone. “And who do we have here?” He read the poster “My husband and her dad is going into the baseball hall of fame.” Clark stepped up directly in front of Natalie. Suella could suddenly feel the posterboard shake and quiver. “Hi, young lady! What’s your name, darling, and where are you from?”

  “Natalie,” she replied, blushing, shifting from foot to foot and looking down. “From Santa Monica, California.”

  Clark quickly turned to Suella. “And you can’t be the mother, can you?”

  Suella laughed and said “Yes, I’m Suella Worthy. Her mother, and Nathan Worthy’s wife.” She could hear Travis say something from the studio on the monitors outside.

  Clark overly feigned bewilderment in a theatrical gesture. “Methuselah himself! I used to watch him when I was in grade school. Oops! Glad he’s going into the hall. Yes, Trav, not only is he going into the hall but he’s got a beautiful wife and daughter, too. Some guys have all the luck. Well, the forecast for toda
y is for snow…just kidding! It’s going to be another gorgeous summer day here in the northeast with temps in the low ‘80’s, so come on out here to the concert in the park and enjoy it!”

  He disappeared into the crowd and moved toward the studio with his cameraman. Natalie still held onto the poster, looking at her mother with stars still in her eyes. “I can’t believe it,” she said.

  Neither could Suella. Their trip to New York was like a dream. She wanted to bottle the memories up and hold them inside forever.

  By the end of the summer, she would have to give Natalie away.