Someone Else's Life

by Lacey Ann Carrigan

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Nathan said he was still debating with himself about whether or not he wanted to take the job in the instructional league. “I’ll drive,” he told them. “It’ll give me something to do so I quit driving myself crazy thinking about it.”

  Suella could always work well in the back seat of a car, or in a train, or on an airplane. Because of the nature of her job, she had to.

  This was the first time in five years that they would be taking Natalie to one of her yearly appointments. Yes, it was unscheduled and sort of an emergency, but to Suella it felt good that she and Nathan were so involved in their daughter’s life once again. It was already scorchingly hot in the low desert and she felt glad that they’d bought a stainless steel pitcher of cold, clean water along.

  When they arrived, they drove through the usual strict security. The guard with a helmet, an armored jacket and reflective sunglasses scanned the names of everyone in the car and keyed a few things into a pad. Once they were cleared and Nathan drove the car downhill into the underground parking garage, he said “Why is it that every time I go through that thing I’m tempted to click my heels together and shout Heil Hitler?”

  After they parked and took the elevator upstairs to the lobby, they received a shock. Both of David’s parents stood in the center of the lobby, in front of the reception desk, and had been apparently expecting them. David’s mother, who appeared washed out and stressed, took Natalie into her arms for a quick hug. “Good morning, sweetheart,” she said. “We had to come when we received the news.”

  Graciously, Natalie said “That’s so very kind of you.”

  Suella felt an upwelling of warm pride in her daughter. In the next moment, David’s mother turned to her and said “I hope you can forgive us. We should have been there to help David.”

  Suella glanced at both of David’s parents, and they both appeared sincere and contrite, holding their heads down. “It’s okay,” she replied, reaching forward to pat David’s mother on her wrist, because she was closer. “We understand.”

  David’s father then spoke. Suella couldn’t remember if she’d ever heard him speak before. “This is extraordinary,” he said. “We’re a part of something special.”

  Suella looked at Nathan, who sighed and opened his eyes wider. “Oh brother, are you ever in the right.”

  A nurse arrived almost immediately afterward, to collect Natalie and bring her back into the examination rooms for her appointment. Suella marveled that the whole operation, with all the gleaming glass and metal, and the swiftly efficient nurse and clerical staff, had remained virtually unchanged for almost twenty years now.

  Once Natalie had disappeared into the rooms, David’s father invited them all to sit down on the connected waiting room chairs that more-or-less faced each other. He started off the conversation: “We have to protect their privacy, that’s priority number one.”

  Nathan nodded. “We all signed a stack of papers almost a foot high and I know Nat’s got a sensor in her where they can keep track. I think that protects them right there.”

  David’s mother and father looked at each other and then spoke to Suella and Nathan with grave expressions on their faces. “Well, we have another concern,” his mother said, still with the traces of Caribbean island accent in her voice. “It’s for Natalie’s pod-casting activities. Does she speak very much about her…background?”

  Suella jumped in. “No,” she replied. “I watched an archive of them all, right after she told me she was doing that. The casts went back three years and it took me a couple of days to get through them. She presents herself as a normal, everyday girl.”

  “Which she is,” Nathan added, hastily.

  David’s father cracked a smile for them using just the lower half of his face, yet his eye expression continued to remain grave. “If word gets out about her situation and the reality of it all, there could be…hysteria.”

  Suella laughed. “The Center would never allow a thing like that to happen. The minute something got out, they’d send a fleet of magnavans out to cart her away to someplace where we won’t even be able to reach her. Natalie knows that, too. That’s why she’s so careful.”

  David’s mother and father nodded, apparently satisfied with her answers. Suella leaned back and relaxed, reflecting again how lucky she was that Natalie still spoke to her, let alone wanted to include her in her life.

  For the next few minutes, Nathan and David’s father spoke about baseball, and Nathan’s pitching career. Suella sat close to him and held his hand while he did. It felt good to have the subject switch to something much more light hearted.

  In what seemed like too short a time, Dr. Allende appeared in the lobby, with Natalie. Once again, Suella marveled at how the beautiful young Arabian woman was holding up over the years, through working in such a stressful field. She wore her hair longer now, and had streaked it blond in places, but she still sported the slim, girlish figure she’d always had, and if any lines had crept onto her face, Suella couldn’t see them. “I’d like us all to sit down to discuss a few matters,” she said.

  They all filed into one of the many conference rooms in the building, but what Dr. Allende had to say was brief, and Natalie was allowed to stay in the room with them. Once they had all settled into chairs around the gleaming, polished table, Dr. Allende said “First of all, I’d like to say that what I can disclose about Natalie’s status is somewhat limited now. She’s a legal adult and now protected under privacy statutes.”

  Suella watched everyone around the table nod knowingly.

  The doctor continued. “What I can say is this. We’ve confirmed Natalie’s pregnancy. She is doing well but obviously we’ll have to monitor her progress very closely. To make it easier on you, we will refer you to an obstetrician in west Los Angeles. Her name’s Dr. McConnell. I’ll have our receptionist make the arrangements.”

  Suella breathed a sigh of relief, first that Natalie was pronounced healthy (would they say the same thing if they’d seen her the morning before) and second that the upcoming visits would take place in west L.A. That was a lot easier to get to than the low desert.

  Soon afterward, the meeting ended and Suella and Nathan said their goodbyes to David’s parents. To Suella, her husband was acting strangely cordial. She was so used to seeing him be the center of the action. He moved slowly, like a robot while they walked out of the lobby and into the building proper, where they would ride the elevator to the parking floor.

  When they stood in the elevator, Suella turned to him and said “Is something wrong?”

  Soundlessly, he shook his head and instead moved toward Natalie. “Come here, darling,” he said, gathering his daughter into his arms for a long, heartfelt hug. “This is a miracle. We’re going to do everything for you we possibly can.”

  It occurred to her to join in on the hug, to make it a family event, but she stood back, letter father and daughter bind together during this extraordinary moment. Her eyes started to mist as she watched them. The elevator door opened with a whir and an electronic beep. She tried to tell them, but the words stuck in her throat. Luckily, Nathan noticed that the door had opened and he broke apart from Natalie and took her hand while they walked toward their car.

  Suella had spent the drive to the Center wrapped up in her workaday world but on the way back she would do no such thing. She still sat in the back, but pushed herself forward on the edge of the seat while she propped her shoulders on both of the front seats, her head teetering back and forth between Nathan and Natalie. “You know what this means, don’t you? No soccer.”

  She sighed heavily while she watched the desert tinder scenery whiz past. “Yes mom, I know.”

  “You haven’t been playing in some kind of secret league have you? You know, on the sly?”

  “No, of course not.”

  Nathan reached over to playfully pat Natalie’s knee.
“But I know you, girl. You’re not one to let grass grow on her feet. You’ve got to do something. I just can’t see you veging out in that little apartment all day.”

  “She can walk,” Suella said. “The neighborhood’s a lot safer than it used to be.”

  “Yeah,” Nathan said, with a laugh. “That’s what three months of martial law will do for you.”

  Suella breathed a sigh of relief that her husband’s jovial nature had returned, but in the next moment a façade of seriousness washed over him.

  “I just can’t believe it’s happening,” he went on, murmuring softly.

  She poked him playfully on the arm, to try to get the playful gentleman she knew and loved to return. “What? That you’re going to be a grandpa?”

  “No,” he replied, taking a moment to glance at Natalie. “I mean it’s not supposed to happen. From everything I’ve heard, not only is she not supposed to get pregnant, she isn’t even supposed to menstruate.”

  Natalie blushed a little at her father’s frank words. Suella could see the tips of her ears flushing pink as she lowered her head down, twirling the buckle at the edge of her romper outfit. At times like these, her mother reflected, she still looked like a little girl. “But I’ve defied the odds my whole life,” Natalie said, jarring Suella back to the reality that her daughter was so mature, so wise beyond her years.

  “So what does David think about all this?” Nathan asked.

  Natalie’s smile lit up her whole face, causing Suella to smile, too. “Oh, he’s ecstastic!”

  “You mean ecstatic?” Nathan said, laughing.

  “No, ecstastic!”

  Suella shook her head. “Hon, these kids have a language all their own nowadays. Sometimes I wish I had a secret Indigo/Crystal decoder.”

  “I’m going to have to have a long talk with that boy,” Nathan said.

  For nostalgia’s sake, they stopped for chilidogs on the way home. They sat inside the restaurant, eating the pleasure food out of little, edible cardboard boats. Other families and people sat around the tables there, as they were experiencing their lunch rush. To them, Suella supposed, they must have looked like a normal family. If they only knew the earth-shattering secret they harbored, however.

  They brought Natalie to her apartment, and as they arrived to their home, she saw the page light flashing atop the living room screen. Anxiously, Suella wondered if Dr. Allende had found something else during the examination and was trying to reach them. That didn’t make sense, however, since the doctor and all the officials at the Center had her and Nathan’s personal numbers.

  Suella tapped the screen and Jillian’s information flashed by in a readout while the system paged her. Seconds later her beaming, radiant face filled the screen. “What a surprise,” Suella said. “Is everything okay?”

  Jillian smiled even wider, appearing more fresh and beautiful than Suella had ever remembered. “Everything’s wonderful,” she said. “I’m getting married! I want you to be in the wedding with me!”

  “That’s fantastic! Who’s the lucky guy?”

  “His name’s Steve,” she said. “He owns a gallery on the Hill.” The image of her pushed off to the side while she dialed up a still of her betrothed on the screen for Suella to view. He was a man about Jillian’s same age, somewhere between fifty and sixty, with a slicked-back hairstyle that Suella recognized was probably a pony tail in the back. With his wide smile and flashing eyes behind stylish glasses frames he looked like the sort of man Suella would have conjured up for her.

  “He’s gorgeous!” Suella exclaimed. “I’m so happy for you! Do you need me to help pick out your dress, send out invitations, or anything like that?”

  Jillian waved her hands in front of her face as if she was trying to call a time out. “No honey, it’s not going to be that fancy.”

  “But it’s your first time…”

  “I know. But it’s just going to be me and him in our nice clothes, with the J.P. and a few close friends. Like you. So, can you come?”

  Suella realized she was tearing up in joy for her friend. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

  The same day that Nathan decided to take the Instructional League job, Suella booked her flight to Cincinnati, because Jillian was wasting no time in tying the knot. It made her wonder if either one of them was speeding up the nuptials before the other one changed their mind.

  For the few days leading up to her trip, she worked more fiendishly than usual and walked over to see Natalie. At least her color in the early morning was improving. “I’m fine, mom, really I am. Maybe I was so sick that one day because of something I ate.”

  “That’s just it,” Suella had said. “You’re not eating.” She was as slender as ever and still was not showing in the least. When she pointed that out to her daughter, Natalie said that the baby was only the size of a thimble at this point so of course she was not going to show yet.

  A couple of different nights, Suella checked into Natalie’s huge archive of podcasts. She kept expecting at least one to say “I don’t understand my mother. She kept me doped up for a couple of years straight just so I would be more subservient and docile…” Mostly, she just gave her views about life and the world (which were surprisingly vanilla). A great many of the sessions showed her playing her virtual guitar and singing rock standards from the last century with a beautiful, melodic voice. The long lists of comments contained one warm and fuzzy after another, from people all over the world.

  Where had she gotten that talent from? It was certainly not from her: like the old saying went, she couldn’t carry a tune in a wheelbarrow. Toni was creative and artistic and could sing. Maybe some of it had rubbed off during the nine months she had carried Natalie.

  When Suella looked at the archives, she felt a surging sense of pride over a face she recognized from her late teens through early twenties years and how she could have mothered such a wonderful human being. Jillian was exactly right: Natalie had a soul, a very beautiful one.

  By the time the day arrived for Suella’s trip, she felt as if she had tied up enough loose ends with her clients that she could afford to leave them for a few days. The jet she would take was an old-time six miler, but it didn’t matter. She wasn’t in any great hurry to get across the country.

  The problem was that most six milers seemed like flying cattle cars because it was the only form of air travel people in the lower classes could afford. She found herself in a window seat with a barrel-shaped, swarthy man with a mustache sitting beside her and a woman in a sari taking the aisle seat. It would be best, she decided, if she avoided any kind of beverages until the plane landed.

  To distract herself from the sardine-like surroundings, Suella spent the flight reminiscing about Jillian. At one point, perhaps twenty years ago, she had seemed like the stereotypical starving artist, with her shabby clothes and her tiny studio apartment. Suella never saw her out of bohemian attire or wearing any makeup back in those days. From around the time Natalie was born, however, she gradually watched Jillian blossom.

  While at one point she felt compelled to help her friend out by giving her a job as landlady for her condo, Jillian made it her own way.

  Little by little, the woman kept painting and doing what she loved and spent her spare time networking just enough to get herself featured in some fine galleries. Art enthusiasts from around the country paid top dollar for her originals and even prints of her expressionistic landscapes fetched a pretty penny. Before long Jillian had changed her style to artsy-chic and amazed Suella with her array of hair styles featuring artistic braids and whorls. While she still kept her makeup to a minimum, her growing confidence enhanced her inner beauty.

  It was only a matter of time before a man noticed her and fell in love, she’d thought for many years.

  The three-and-a-half hour flight passed in a blur and Suella could hardly believe it when the pilot alerted t
hem to fasten their seatbelts for the final approach. When they landed, she was dismayed to discover that the old fashioned plane connected with the older part of the terminal that featured annoying full-body security scans. Among the sea of faces at the gate, however, she saw her longtime friend’s glowing smile.

  Though Jillian had come out for Natalie’s homecoming just recently, the two women behaved like close friends who hadn’t seen each other in decades, cooing to each other and holding each other in a long, rocking hug. “I am so, so, so happy for you!”

  Out in the airport parking lot, Jillian led them to a gleaming maroon Tesla roadster. “Oh my god,” Suella said as they stowed her suitcases in the hatch and lowered down into the sleek vehicle “I can’t believe you.”

  “Before you get too excited, it’s a rental. I decided to go all-out.”

  The engine whirred to life with a satisfying purr when Jillian called out the series of commands. “Does this mean you also got a five-figure wedding gown with one of those trains a half mile long?”

  Jillian laughed. “Hon, you know me better than that.”

  When they crossed the river and cruised toward the city’s artistic district known as “The Hill,” she realized she would be seeing Jillian’s swank condo for the first time in three dimensions. Both she and her friend had never been chipped, and as they reached the front door, Jillian had to swipe a plastic card against the sensor to enter.

  The inside of the condo looked like a cross between an art gallery and a stately museum. As they spoke their voices reverberated through the spacious condo with high ceilings and varnished, hardwood floors. “Let me give you the five cents tour,” she said, walking her through the kitchen that looked like something out of Better Homes and Gardens magazine. An L-shaped island with latticed and beveled cabinets had been capped by a granite countertop, and a copper hood housed the range top and sinks.

  In the corner sat a flat black, conical-shaped metal fireplace with a few implements stacked beside it. She’d placed an ornate Asian rug in front of the fireplace and Suella envisioned many romantic encounters taking place there between Jillian and her soon-to-be husband. The master bedroom adjoined the den with the fireplace, where Suella saw a carved mahogany canopy bed with lush veils draped over it. The sheer opulence of it caused her mouth to drop. This was the type of bed found in high-end stores at a price many people paid for cars.

  Jillian seemed to be reading her friend’s mind. “It’s an antique,” she said, as she guided her past it to present her with the master bathroom and sit-down, peach marble tub and fixtures. All along, she smiled smugly and shrugged her shoulders, as if all the finery were something to be expected and found in anyone’s home.

  They walked out of the bedroom and back into the den area again and Jillian suddenly turned to Suella and took both of her friend’s hands in her own. She looked earnestly into her eyes. “There’s just something that I’m dying for us to do,” she said.

  For an insane moment, Suella remembered the early days of their friendship and she never heard Jillian mention a boyfriend. She was alone, spent all of her time creating her art that in some occasions celebrated the female form. What was she supposed to think? Maybe she wanted them to romp on the beautiful bed together. Her heart started to pound.

  Instead, Jillian surprised her. “Let’s go back into the living room,” she said. “I was to have a real tea together.”

  She kept an ecru, velour upholstered sectional in the living room and Suella sat on one end of it, admiring all of the hanging art on the walls and the sculptures in open-glass curio cabinets surrounding her. Soft, smooth jazz then emanated into the air through an invisible speaker system somewhere. It was just loud enough to enhance the mood. “Do you need some help in there?”

  “No, I’m almost finished,” Jillian called out from the kitchen. “Stay where you are and relax. You’ve just had a long flight.”

  Suella eased back and enjoyed the sexy trumpet music with the accompanying young woman vocalist singing “The Look of Love.”

  Moments later, Jillian reappeared holding a silver tray carrying a fine oriental porcelain tea set, the kind with the blue etchings that Suella used to look at longingly in antique shops when she was younger. The hostess gently set the tray atop a glass coffee table in front of the sectional where Suella sat. “This will be our version of a bachelorette party,” Jillian said as she lowered herself into the Hepplewhite chair across from her.

  Suella suddenly recognized the setup: Jillian must have trained the camera from a point from just beyond where she sat, so that it would fit Jillian sitting in her favorite chair. “I like that,” she replied it a nervous lap as she reached forward to accept the delicate teacup.

  For the next several minutes, the two of them silently enjoyed their tea while Suella continued to look around at the sumptuous habitat Jillian had designed for herself.

  Jillian was watching her closely and had assumed a catlike pose in her chair while sipping her tea. “Something wrong?” she asked.

  Suella considered sharing what had occurred to her while they stood outside of Jillian’s bedroom, but thought better of opening that kind of a Pandora’s box. “It’s nothing,” she said. “I guess I’m a little worn out from the trip, is all.”

  “Suze,” she said, placing her teacup down. “You can tell me anything. We’ve known each other for a long time.”

  They were like sisters, she realized, since they had known each other for such a long time and had been through so much. “It’s about a little vibe I got when we both stood outside your bedroom.”

  Jillian paused for a moment, to let her friend’s remark sink in. When the realization hit her, she began to laugh. “Oh my gosh, did you think I was trying to seduce you?”

  Suella laughed along with her as she let out a breath and started to take another sip of her tea. “Well, yes!” she said. “The thought had crossed my mind.”

  Jillian waved a hand playfully. “I haven’t had those kind of yearnings since I was in college, experimenting. I’m getting married in a couple of days…to a man, remember?”

  Her cheekbones felt tinged with heat, which she recognized as a sign she was blushing. “It’s just that we’re such good friends and we’ve been through so much together and now there’s this supremely happy occasion and…”

  She barely noticed that Jillian had set her cup down and had moved slowly closer to her. In the next moment, she leaned forward and kissed her. More than twenty years of pent-up feelings flooded to the surface.

  That’s all it took.