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Someone Else's Life

Page 40

by Lacey Ann Carrigan


  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  One Month Later

  They named the baby “Delaney,” because it was the girl’s name beginning with a “D” that all of them liked.

  Both the baby and her grandmother stayed in the hospital for a week for extensive testing. Natalie had given birth to a beautiful, healthy baby girl who miraculously showed none of her mother’s limitations. She emerged from the womb with perfect telomeres and vitals.

  Nathan rambled on for hours to Suella as he sat across from her in her hospital room. He vowed that he would spend everything he had and fight to the death to present his little granddaughter to the world as a normal, everyday little girl.

  Nathan, Claudette and Alan had taken care of all the arrangements following Natalie’s death. Suella became violently, psychosomatically ill, vomiting constantly, moaning over and over that “Something has been ripped out of me!” Dr. Allende put her under heaving medication in the hospital,and eventually she came around. Once she was lucid again, she gave her input for naming her newborn granddaughter.

  David was just as distraught over having lost the love of his life. On the outside he kept it together enough to return to school after a few days and begin unpacking the apartment. He no longer wanted to live there, and no one questioned him.

  Nathan invited him to stay at the house and sleep in the extra bedroom. Little Delaney would stay in the room that had once been her mother’s, and when Suella had recovered, she could offer her own maternal love. Claudette promised to visit often as well.

  Nathan, Claudette and Alan all wanted a proper funeral for Natalie, and they held a service for her at the Unitarian church David’s parent’s attended. Lifewind kept Natalie’s body, as was explicitly stated in the reams of paperwork generated at her conception. When Nathan saw Suella in the hospital and told her about it, he said “I’ve never felt so numb in my entire life.”

  Though still peering through a fuzzy gauze induced by medication, Suella was mostly lucid during the daytime by then. She held her husband’s hand. “It’s going to take us all a lot of time.”

  When she did come home, the reception from Nathan and David and the whole neighborhood overwhelmed her. They’d lain banners, streamers and balloons all over the front yard and in an arch over the driveway. Her first inkling was to shake her head in disbelief when she saw all the fanfare. Should she remind everyone of the massive loss they’d endured, of the black hole in their lives from here on?

  Instead, she smiled. At least there was no news crew.

  Toni also surprised her, on that first day back, when she arrived in her new sports car. When the two women saw each other, they silently embraced, holding each other for what seemed like an hour to Suella. A sadness emanated from Toni and it affected Suella; all the hurt she’d been holding in gushed out in streams of sobs. “That’s okay hon,” Toni finally said, still holding her. “Let it all out.” When they stepped apart from each other, Suella saw that Toni was crying, too.

  Nathan had invited Toni to stay for a few days and before Suella could object, she retrieved a portable air cot from the tiny trunk of her vehicle. “I’d like to help out with the baby while you get back on your feet.”

  At night, Toni set up her cot in the den, where she could easily hear the baby’s cries. During that first week, she assumed that Toni would be the one waking up in the small hours when Delaney would cry. Several times though, Nathan woke up and swiveled himself off the bed to check on his “little angel.” Though Toni he learned how to feed, burp and change little Delaney.

  At first Suella would spend many days in her nightgown or lounge pajamas. When David would come home from school, he would help with the cooking or cleaning and looking after Delaney. She could hold her while they all watched old movies in the den. Many imes she’d find herself gazing for hours at her little miracle, enraptured by her flawless, dewy beauty, the wisps of blond hair and her uncannily expressive face and bright eyes. Though she hadn’t been around babies much in her life, she remembered that most had a disoriented look about them.

  Not Delaney.

  Natalie’s baby would look up at her and grin, a glint of joyous recognition in her eyes. She would also laugh and coo, forming eerily sophisticated little grammars of clicks and sing-song noises. During feedings she would take a bottle eagerly, as though she was aware of the nutrition it provided and the fact that it would help her grow and develop. When Suella would feed her and Delaney would finish, she would look up at her grandmother with an expression in her eyes that said “Thank you.”

  During that first month, Jillian called her often. Suella was still on a medical leave and Jillian’s art was set aside as a form of sabbatical. “I don’t really mind,” she said. “It gives me a chance to enjoy married life.” The two women had re-established their afternoon tradition of taking tea and having long chats together. Only the backdrop of Jillian’s cam seemed different, with pepperings of masculine décor here and there. Age was kind to her, as years without makeup had left her skin smooth and clear. She’d lightened her hair, also, which further enhanced her youthfulness.

  “I’m so glad it’s going well for you,” Suella said.

  Jillian smiled contentedly. “Thank you. I’m very happy. So tell me all about Delaney! How is she doing?”

  Usually at least once during their afternoon teas, Suella would give news about the beloved child, such as when she would sleep through the night or how she reacted when Toni visited with her little Chihuahua named Pepe. “But the most uncanny thing of all is, she reminds me so much of Natalie!”

  Jillian’s smile straightened and her features took on a serious air. Slowly, she said “Maybe it is Natalie.”

  Suella was so shocked by the admonition at first that she could barely speak. When it had all sunk in, she forced a nervous laugh and shook her head vigorously. “Nah. That couldn’t possibly be!”

  “Oh?” Jillian raised one eyebrow and tilted her head slightly sideways.

  A week or so later, she forgot about it.

  Six months later, when she was fully recovered and had gone back to work for a few select clients, she went into Delaney’s bedroom to reach into her crib and fetch her. But Delaney was already awake, with a knowing smile on her face, as if she’d been expecting her. As Suella reached down to lift little Delaney out of the crib, she spoke.

  She said “Hi mom. It’s me. Natalie.”

 


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