Loving Memories

by Imogene Nix

  “That would work. Something tells me I need to have a look at Cara’s place. See if there isn’t a clue...” She stopped dead. “She didn’t...she didn’t say to you she’d found or heard anything?” When he shook his head, she hunted around, then grabbed the paper and pen sitting near the phone, and began to make a list. “Okay, then. We need to get some of Lola’s things and bring them back here. Favorite clothes, toys, books, things like that. You need to look into the details of Cara’s solicitors and make arrangements to pack up her apartment.”

  Tears burned her eyes, but this time she refused to let them fall. She’d cried buckets, but life moved on, no matter how much it hurt. Lola and Steve needed closure.

  “Jenny?”

  She looked over her shoulder to see he’d moved in behind her.

  “Have you thought about last night? We need to talk about the personal connection between us.”

  She grimaced, but he shook his head.

  “I’ve been thinking and have something important I want to ask. A favor if you will.” He blinked several times while brushes of scarlet painted his cheeks.

  “Steve? What’s wrong?”

  “We need to talk, but when we’re alone. Away from little ears. In the car, maybe?” Then he glanced away, avoiding her gaze.

  Her eyes narrowed in recognition he was avoiding something unpalatable. She shrugged. They hardly knew each other, so she supposed it made sense that he felt uncomfortable asking her for a favor. “Okay, in the car.”

  She brushed off the query, wondering if she’d get a chance to do a little snooping, maybe check out the area or find something tangible to help Lola.

  Steve nodded. “Okay, I’ll ring Dave now.”

  He picked up the phone and dialed.

  Quickly, he outlined the situation to his friend. “Cara’s friend Jenny is staying with me, helping with Lola and sorting through stuff.”

  It hurt more than she was prepared to admit that he wasn’t more open about their relationship, then she mentally kicked herself. What relationship? Friends with benefits? Well, they weren’t even technically friends, she reminded herself. He grimaced at something Dave said, and she smiled, refusing to let him see the pain she felt.

  In the end, Steve arranged for Dave to arrive within the hour to look after Lola because Fiona would only be available that evening. He smiled and gaily suggested that perhaps he and Jenny should enjoy the break and head out on the town. Whatever his friend said, he laughed tightly and hung up.

  “Jenny, I didn’t mean—”

  She leaned forward as if to kiss him, and then laid a soft finger against his lips. “I understand. Trust me, no one understands better than me.” She stood up and walked out of the room.

  Dave arrived and they settled the little girl with him then headed for the car in the garage.

  Steve had seen the minute he said the words on the phone to his friend that Jenny had taken his words the wrong way. Hell, all he’d wanted to do was protect her. He couldn’t even get that right. Frustration ate at him.

  She avoided any suggestion that they could have a relationship. She didn’t even like herself, for God’s sake. He wondered how much of that had been Cara’s doing. She’d been sunny, outgoing, but also waspish on occasions. Quick to draw attention to people’s shortcomings, and Jenny believed she had more than enough of those.

  He really needed to get his shit together.

  He ran an unsteady hand through his hair. Jenny’s words from earlier also worried him. He agreed that whatever had happened to Lola had taken place near Cara’s. While he wanted to resolve Jenny’s issues, he wasn’t ready to deal with the emotions that roiled within him. Instead he focused on getting them to the apartment in one piece. This was the opportunity to raise his idea.

  “Ready?” He waited for her breathy ‘yeah’ before he turned on the engine. “Good.” He leaned over and kissed her on the lips. “Oh, and by the way, you look fantastic in that outfit.” He winked and watched her stunned surprise. “Now hang on. I’m half-expecting someone to be waiting for us outside the community.”

  He pulled out of the garage and they watched the roller door shut as the car reversed onto the street. He drove carefully, watching left and right for anything out of the ordinary, and once they were on the open road, his mind tuned back into the role he’d been so comfortable with before leaving the police force.

  He suddenly realized that what he’d felt for Cara hadn’t been love. It had been passionate and hot, but since meeting Jenny, he wondered if he’d somehow talked himself into the position where he’d imagined it was deeper than it really was. He was confused, because he honestly didn’t know how, or even if, he should tell Jenny that. She already felt enough guilt for sleeping with him.

  Would his proposition make things worse? He wasn’t sure, but when he’d seen the address on that white envelope—the one for Child Services—he knew his time was running out.

  “Jenny? What would you say if I said I needed you to stay here and help me keep custody of Lola?”

  She turned in the seat. “I’d say tell me what you need me to do.”

  His breath escaped on a hiss. “There has to be two people and a relationship for me to keep her. Otherwise, they’ll send her to a foster home. The envelope on the side was from Child Services. As a single man...” He let the words trail away.

  She paled in the seat beside him. “A single man?”

  “Yeah, but if I was married or engaged, they’d give me more time, and I could put a case together.”

  “Married...or engaged?”

  Her lips had turned white. For a moment he feared she was about to faint. “Jenny?”

  “What exactly do you want, Steve?”

  “I want us to... If we were engaged, we could make a case. Just to keep Lola, of course.”

  He wasn’t quite lying to her, he temporized. More leaving out some aspects he hadn’t yet come to terms with. “Jenny, they’re going to take her away. Rip her from the only security she knows. It’s not fair to her. Please, will you help me? Will you accept my proposition? We don’t have to get married if I can make a case without it.”

  She flinched. “Whatever you need, Steve.”

  Deep down in his heart though, he knew he’d taken the wrong tack.

  Jenny remained silent for the rest of the long drive, her gaze averted as if she were thinking something important over. His gut told him he’d just made a major mistake, but by the time they arrived she seemed almost back to her normal self.

  He used the keycard Cara had given him to enter the secured parking area, and the large metal grill closed behind him with a ratcheting clang. He pulled into the spot beside Cara’s little sports car. She’d loved it, but he’d mentioned to her that a car like that wasn’t suitable for carrying a child. She’d grinned and ignored his pointed remark. He frowned at the memory. Was this another aspect of Cara he’d ignored or rewritten in his quest to believe he loved her?

  Jenny stepped out of the car as he did the same. She reached for the bag she’d stashed on the back seat. “You have a key?” Her black eyebrow quirked, and he nodded.

  “We need to use this elevator.” He indicated the one next to the car. “It’s the private one to her level.” He slipped the keycard through the holder and reached across to take the bag from her as they stepped inside.

  “No, it’s fine. I need to do this.” Her quiet voice was firm, and he let it go, even though he didn’t want her to struggle with the weight. She kept a careful, physical distance during the ride to the penthouse.

  Cara had always loved the high-life. She’d said it was what she’d been used to with her parents, and he’d understood that sentiment.

  Eventually, the ding told him they had reached the correct floor. Without thinking, Steve moved in front of Jenny as the doors slid open. The corridor was empty, and he ushered her forward, digging out the key to the penthouse. The door opened silently, then he stepped inside, casting a quick, assessing glance ove
r the room. It looked exactly as it had when he had last been there, before their final argument. He hadn’t been back since.

  He closed and locked the door, shooting home the security chain, and then looked at Jenny. “What do you want to do first?”

  She looked him in the eyes. “Well, you need to pack up Lola’s stuff first, and then I guess it wouldn’t hurt to empty the fridge.” Her words were calm and measured, and he marveled at her ability to contain herself. “Which way was Cara’s bedroom?”

  “You’ve never been here before?” Steve frowned. Wasn’t that unusual?

  “No. I’ve been in Melbourne for a while. She bought the place after I left.” She looked around, checking out the minimalist furnishings, her eyes assessing each piece.

  “You aren’t a fan of this kind of layout?” He waved a hand across the room, and she shook her head.

  “Not really. I mean, it suited Cara. She was at home with this sort of lifestyle, but her parents’ place...that was lovely.”

  “They didn’t live like this?”

  She answered on a quick burble of laughter. “Oh no! Cara’s mum wasn’t into flash. They had a nice cottage-style house with comfortable furniture. Nothing ostentatious, just...nice. Rather like them.”

  Steve frowned again. Not at all as Cara had described it.

  “Come on. We should get started.” Her tart reminder that time was passing dragged him from his reverie.

  “What’s your place like?”

  She laughed, and he smiled in response. “I think the best way I could describe it is Op Shop Special.”

  “But with your degree—”

  “I may have a degree, but I also have bills. Rent, food, my student fees to pay off, just like everyone else I know.” She looked at him. “But that’s not why we’re here, so show me Cara’s room and I can get started.”

  He nodded and pointed to the door on the other side of the lounge. She smiled and retreated, pushing open the door as he headed for Lola’s room. The little girl needed her toys and clothes.

  Chapter 15

  Jenny entered the bedroom. The pale yellow and pink bedspread matched the curtains.

  The carpet was a sunny yellow, and the walls a clean, fresh white. The details of the room made it look like something out of a magazine. Cara had always liked décor like this, but to Jenny’s eye, it looked practiced and polished. Not at all like a home.

  Jenny moved into the room. The Queen Anne furniture—white and gilt—was probably the real thing, she guessed as she trailed her hand across the dressing table. Cara craved the finest and most expensive, but the room felt strangely soulless. On another level, Jenny felt even more uncomfortable entering a bedroom Steve and Cara had shared, as if she were invading yet another part of Cara’s life.

  “Don’t be silly. You’re here to help Steve pack up. This room will be too...emotionally challenging for him.” Not true, of course, but the lie made her feel just a little better.

  Steve wasn’t some fragile male with an ego that needed stroking. She’d already seen his backbone, and that made her want and love him more. Love. The realization stunned her.

  “Shit!”

  “Everything okay in there?” Steve’s voice echoed across the apartment.

  She ran her fingers through her hair. “Yep, just dropped something.”

  Dropped something my foot! First I sleep with Cara’s man then I fall for him. I’m such a horrible friend. A lump formed in her throat.

  It took several minutes before she could find the fortitude to consider what needed doing now. She’d left Cara’s bag in the lounge. She’d go and get it in a minute. She moved back to the bed, noting the small bedside drawers, and smiled. Cara had always made sure she had bedside tables to stash her journal and phone...and probably her toys too!

  She snorted at the memory of the time Cara’s parents had come into the room while Cara was showing Jenny her vibrators. Jenny had cringed with embarrassment. Cara had seen the blush on her mother’s face, but laughed gaily. “All the other girls have them, Mum. Right, Jenny?” She’d nudged Jenny in the ribs, and Jenny had nodded, irrespective of what she’d thought.

  Jenny opened the bedside drawer, spying her journal. She shouldn’t...she knew that, but she picked it up anyway. Maybe there was a clue inside, one no one else had discovered. There had obviously been no search of the unit, maybe because the murder took place in another state. She opened journal to a point approximately midway.

  Thursday 13th

  What a night. Steve is okay in bed. A little unadventurous, but I don’t mind. Lola is getting on my nerves though. I suppose I should be grateful that she isn’t speaking. But still, it seems to aggravate Steve that he can’t get her to talk to him.

  And then I accidentally let slip about poor little Jenny. Good thing I’ve been grooming her for a long time. Now I’m going to have to make out like I’m heading to Melbourne looking for her help. I mean, like I really want Lola to speak. After what she saw in the warehouse, if she ever said a word, I’d have to do something about her. Then I’d have Steve to deal with.

  God, I’m so sick of the charade. Sure, the money is going to be worthwhile, but it’s driving me nuts. It’s a good thing I have Jarvis to keep me satisfied sexually.

  Anyway, time and money are two things on my side. And it’s a damn good thing that Steve would never stoop to reading my journal, so I can tell you everything.

  Jenny gasped as she read the entry. Dear God. Cara had been involved in something right up to her eyeballs. Who the hell was Jarvis?

  Her trembling fingers touched the writing. Disbelief and fury coursed wildly through her veins. Cara had been using them. All of them. Including herself. Nausea churned, and she clapped her hand over her mouth, scrunched up her eyes...anything to relieve the anguish she felt because of Cara’s journal entry.

  The moment passed, and she reached out with a shaking hand. I need to know if there’s more. She stuck the small ribbon into the page then flipped toward the front of the journal.

  Tuesday 18th

  It’s odd. It feels like just yesterday that Jarvis told me it was done. Who knew getting rid of the oldies would be so liberating? It’s been three years and now the will is finalized, I’m free to enjoy my inheritance. I can’t believe the administration of the estate was so protracted. The old codger of a lawyer refused to divide the assets for nine months, and with all the other delays... Well, it’s no matter now. I’m feeling great!

  What’s more, little Jenny moved to Melbourne today, and good riddance! But all the hours I spent in that stinking hospital gave me an alibi that was iron-clad if anyone ever does question where I was. Not that I expect they will now.

  No one suspected me of doing anything wrong. After all, the grieving daughter routine was pretty convincing all the way through. Maybe I should pursue a life on screen? On second thought, early mornings and listening to others really doesn’t appeal.

  With Jenny off the scene, Jarvis and I plan to get together in a hotel tonight, somewhere no one knows me. We’re going to fuck like bunnies on steroids. I guess I’d better stick to my boring black outfits, but I think I’ll surprise him and go commando. I love the feeling of the wind on my bare fanny anyway.

  Jenny’s head ached. Oh! How on earth would she tell Steve? He’d be devastated. Anger surged through her as silent tears rolled down her cheeks. How dare Cara use them like this? Even worse was the information that Cara had been involved in the murder of her parents!

  The pain and anguish she’d felt evaporated, leaving her with a dose of righteous anger. The bitch! Jenny checked the handwriting; it was definitely Cara’s.

  She shook her head, assessing the situation as calmly as she could. Poor Lola! Clearly she’d seen something that traumatized her. How could Cara do that to the little girl? It was cruel, but the Cara revealed in the journal was cold and malicious.

  No doubt the fright of living with Cara day after day had reinforced the depths of her fear, enduring what
ever Cara cooked up. No wonder Lola had clung to herself. Steve would be tainted by association, and Jenny started thinking of ways to offset the damage.

  Jenny stared at the journal, revulsion filling her. She wanted to fling the poisonous book from her presence, but knew she needed to show it to Steve. She would need to be there for him too. With the tips of her fingers, she lifted the book, holding it as far away from her as possible, as if just by touching it she’d be tainted. She marched out the door and to the room where the door stood open.

  When Jenny reached the doorway, she stilled. She watched him carefully piling clothes into the small suitcase on the bed, ensuring everything was folded neatly. He’d seemed to have found some modicum of inner peace, and she was about to destroy that. Again.

  On a deep breath, she entered the room. “Steve? You need to see this.”

  Her voice wobbled and he turned, frowning. “Are you okay?”

  His words warmed her for a second, and then she shook her head, pushing the journal into his hands.

  He took it, but once he realized what it was, he tried to push it back into her hands. “No. I won’t—”

  “You need to read it, because the answer is right here.”

  He frowned, and she grabbed the journal from his grasp, flipped to the page with the ribbon, and shoved it back to him. She willed him to glance down. After a brief look, his gaze met hers once more.

  “What?” There was shock in his voice, and she knew what he’d read. She pointed again and he read further, his face turning white with shock as his lips flattened.

  “The bitch. That cold-hearted bitch!” His eyes flashed with anger, and she stepped back.

  He dropped the book on Lola’s bed. It made a sighing sound as it bounced, and she wondered if it were the pages apologizing for holding such horrific secrets. Her mind scrambled once more for reality in a world rapidly spinning out of control.

  “Steve? Do you know someone named Jarvis?”