Sam Wu is NOT Afraid of Spiders!

by Katie Tsang

  I shuddered. Tulip’s fangs were about the same size as Bernard’s fingers.

  ‘And you could just tell Tulip was ready to pounce,’ Bernard continued. He looked me right in the eyes. ‘And before you know it . . .

  Bernard lunged at me and dug his fingers into my arm like claws.

  ‘Ahhh!’ I yelled as I swatted Bernard’s hands away.

  Bernard gave me a serious look. ‘Too slow,’ he said. ‘You’re already spider food.’

  I shuddered again. Getting bitten by a spider would be the worst. Especially by a spider that was as big as my face. If spiders could eat birds, could they eat people too?

  ‘Stop scaring Sam,’ said Zoe, cutting in.

  ‘I’m not scaring Sam!’ said Bernard.

  ‘Yeah, plus I’m NOT scared!’ I said. I paused and looked back at Zoe. ‘But I mean, you would be scared if you were attacked by a man-eating spider.’

  Zoe sighed and tossed a chicken nugget from her plate at Bernard. ‘Bernard is no man-eating spider.’

  ‘True,’ said Bernard, picking up the discarded chicken nugget from the table and putting it in his mouth. ‘But just think of those fangs!’ He wiggled his fingers out in front of him again.

  Zoe rolled her eyes.

  ‘Okay, okay, Spider-Bernard,’ I said, leaning away. ‘We get it. No more pouncing on anyone at lunch.’

  Bernard shrugged and continued munching on the chicken nugget.

  I couldn’t shake the feeling that Tulip the tarantula had been watching me – specifically me – back in the classroom. Staring me down. Sizing me up. And I would know from experience, because Fang stares me down all the time, and also this one time at the aquarium with a shark called Crazy Charlie. I just get a feeling when a ferocious beast is staring at me and probably wants to eat me.

  It’d been hard to tell exactly where Tulip had been looking because she had eight eyes, but I was almost a hundred per cent sure that all eight of her beady eyes had been looking directly at me. I bet if Tulip had had her way, she’d be having me for lunch right then.

  I felt a shiver run down my spine. I was going to stay as far away as possible from that tarantula. Even if it meant I had to switch schools by the time I got to the sixth grade.

  ‘Hey, you guys,’ said a familiar voice from behind us.

  I looked up. It was Regina, holding a lunch tray. ‘How COOL was Tulip?’ she said, sitting down next to Zoe.

  ‘Erm,’ I said, staring at my char siu bao. ‘Pretty cool?’

  ‘I’m going to ask my parents if I can get a giant tarantula,’ Regina said, cheerfully munching on a slice of pizza. ‘But I bet they’ll say no.’ She lowered her voice.

  ‘It’s because Ralph is actually really scared of spiders.’

  I had a sudden, new-found, begrudging5 respect for Ralph. I wondered if this was why he’d been so determined to make ME look scared of the spider, so nobody would know that he was super terrified.

  ‘I didn’t know you were so into spiders, Regina,’ said Bernard, sounding impressed. ‘Did you know that there are over forty thousand types of spiders in the world?’

  ‘Wow,’ said Regina, suitably excited.

  ‘Sometimes my sister’s cat Butterbutt eats spiders,’ I offered. I didn’t know any spider facts.

  Regina scrunched her face up. ‘Cats will eat anything,’ she said.

  I nodded. She wasn’t wrong.

  ‘What are you going to write for your question for Mr Dougal?’ Regina asked. ‘I have so many questions about Tulip!’

  My main question was how I could properly protect myself from a Goliath birdeating tarantula, but I wasn’t going to admit that out loud.

  ‘Um, how big their webs get,’ I said instead.

  I actually was a little bit curious about that. A web would have to be HUGE to hold a spider that big!

  ‘Oh, that’s a good one!’ said Regina.

  ‘I want to know how fast they can move,’ said Zoe. ‘I’m guessing I can probably outrun one, but it would be good to know for sure.’

  ‘I want to know what Mr Dougal feeds her,’ said Bernard. ‘Does she need to eat live prey, like Fang? Does she eat bugs? Other spiders?’

  ‘What about you, Regina?’ I quickly asked, partly to change the subject from what Tulip ate for lunch. I still wasn’t convinced that she didn’t eat humans.

  ‘I want to know what predators they have!’

  I thought about how Butterbutt chased spiders in our garden. ‘Probably giant cats,’ I said. ‘Especially if they live in the jungle.’

  I imagined a battle between a leopard and a giant tarantula. Just one leopard could probably eat a giant tarantula, but I bet a whole group of tarantulas could take down a leopard if they worked together.

  I shuddered at the thought of an ARMY of giant tarantulas. If even a leopard couldn’t win against them, I wouldn’t stand a chance.

  After lunch, we all wrote down our questions about spiders, specifically about Tulip. Ms Winkleworth said she’d never seen us so focused. We had a LOT of questions.

  ‘Now,’ she said, when we’d handed in all our questions. ‘Who would like to go deliver these to Mr Dougal for me?’

  Regina’s hand shot up in the air, and then before I had a chance to protest, she’d grabbed mine and raised it too.

  I looked at Regina in horror. But I didn’t want anyone to know that I secretly never wanted to see Tulip ever again, so I didn’t say anything. She grinned at me. ‘You’re the bravest person I know,’ she said solemnly. ‘I know you won’t be scared to see Tulip again, right?’

  I gulped. ‘Right,’ I said.

  ‘Great, thank you, Regina and Sam,’ Ms Winkleworth said. ‘The two of you can go. But come straight back, all right?’

  I blinked. It looked like I didn’t have a choice. But I wasn’t just going to go as a two-person team. We needed backup. I looked at Bernard and tried to wink. Sometimes on , the alien Five-Eyed Frank will wink at Spaceman Jack or Captain Jane to let them know that he has the situation under control. This was the opposite of that – I did NOT have the situation under control at all, but I was hoping that Bernard would understand what I wanted.

  ‘What’s in your eye, Sam?’ Regina said, frowning at me.

  I’m not very good at winking.

  ‘Nothing,’ I said. Then I cleared my throat and coughed, the way that grown-ups do when they are trying to get someone’s attention.

  ‘Are you okay, Sam?’ said Ms Winkleworth, looking concerned.

  ‘I’m fine,’ I said, still staring hard at Bernard.

  ‘Oh!’ said Bernard. He finally got it. ‘Can I go too, Ms Winkleworth? I’d really like to see Tulip again.’

  Then Bernard kicked Zoe in the ankle.

  ‘Ow!’ yelled Zoe, scowling at Bernard, before she realized what he’d been doing. ‘Um, yeah, me too, Ms Winkleworth!’ she said. ‘I know the way to the sixth-grade science lab.’

  Ms Winkleworth rubbed between her eyes and sighed.

  ‘I don’t think this is a four-person job,’ she said. ‘At this rate, the whole class will want to go.’

  ‘I don’t,’ Ralph said loudly from the back of the classroom. ‘Who wants to run errands? I’m not a mailman.’

  His friends around him all laughed.

  ‘Is that right, Ralph Zinkerman?’ Ms Winkleworth replied with an arched eyebrow and a stern look that was maybe even scarier than Tulip’s eight-eyed one.

  Ralph sank down in his seat.

  Ms Winkleworth swung her gaze round on us. ‘Off the four of you go. But just hurry back.’

  I still wasn’t especially eager to go anywhere near Tulip, but I felt better now that I had my friends with me as we all scrabbled up from our desks. It was just like when Spaceman Jack from says he can do anything when he’s got his crew with him.

  It felt strange being in the empty halls while everyone else was in class.

  ‘This is so exciting!’ said Regina, skipping down the hall ahead of us.

&nbs
p; ‘I can run as fast as I want down the hall and nobody can stop me!’ said Zoe, and then she did exactly that.

  ‘Wait for us!’ cried Bernard, huffing as he ran to catch up with the girls.

  I was the one carrying the envelope full of questions, so I didn’t run in case I dropped it and the slips of paper flew everywhere. Then we’d really be in trouble.

  I’d never been to the side of the school where the sixth-grade classrooms were. But Zoe knew the way because she had two older brothers AND an older sister who had showed her all over the school. She even knew how to get around the high school thanks to her big sister Mallory.

  ‘The science lab is right around this corner,’ said Zoe, and we followed her to a blue door that was slightly ajar.

  There was a lot of noise coming from inside the lab, people were shouting and running, and it sounded like tables and chairs were being pushed around. The four of us paused and looked at each other. ‘Sixth-grade science sounds pretty exciting,’ said Regina.

  Just then the door burst open, nearly hitting us all in the faces. We jumped back. A red-cheeked sixth-grade boy ran out, panting.

  He slammed the door behind him.

  ‘TULIP’S ON THE LOOSE!’ he shouted. ‘Did you see where she went?’

  ‘Bobby, get back in here!’ yelled a voice from inside. ‘We don’t want to cause a panic!’

  If you asked me, this seemed like the perfect time to panic. But I just stared open-mouthed at red-faced Bobby.

  ‘We’ve . . . er . . . brought some questions for Mr Dougal?’ Regina tried. ‘Is everything okay in—?’

  ‘What do you mean, Tulip is on the loose?’ Zoe cut in, asking the question we were all thinking.

  ‘What do you think it means?’ said Bobby. ‘It means Tulip, who is a tarantula by the way – sorry, I don’t know if I made that part clear – has made her great escape.’

  ‘Bobby, who are you talking to? I told you, we’ve got everything under control,’ said the same voice from inside the classroom. Then the door opened and Mr Dougal slipped out into the corridor. ‘Get back inside the classroom, Bobby.’

  Bobby scurried back inside as Mr Dougal turned to face us. He did NOT look like he had everything under control. His hair was sticking up in every direction, his tie was undone and he was sweating like he’d just run a race.

  ‘Oh, hello there,’ he said when he saw us. He tried to smile, but it turned into more of a grimace. ‘I . . . erm . . . forgot that you would be coming by this afternoon. Do you have the questions?’ He took the envelope out of my hands. ‘Wow, that is a lot! It might take me a while to answer all of these. Especially as I’m a bit . . . busy at the moment. Now, hurry back to your class. Nothing to see here, nothing at all,’ he added as he shepherded us away from the door. As he did, I got a glimpse inside the classroom. Some kids were crawling on their hands and knees, looking under desks and bookshelves. Others were standing on their chairs, like the floor was made of lava.

  ‘Sir,’ said Regina carefully, ‘has Tulip escaped?’

  Mr Dougal ran his hand through his hair, making it stick up even more. ‘No, no, I wouldn’t say escaped. We’ve just . . . misplaced her. That’s it. She’s misplaced. I’m sure she’s just hiding somewhere in the classroom.’

  I thought of how the door had been a bit open when we’d arrived and I knew there was a very good chance that Tulip was NOT inside the classroom.

  ‘Well, nothing to worry about! Hurry back now,’ said Mr Dougal, smiling slightly manically. And then he disappeared back into the science lab with the envelope.

  We all looked at each other.

  ‘I don’t think Mr Dougal is going to find Tulip,’ Regina said slowly. ‘He didn’t really seem like he knew what he was doing.’ She looked up at us. ‘I think we might have to step in.’

  I knew then that Regina was right. It was up to us. After all, we already were ghost-hunters, snake-wranglers, shark-evaders and explorers of the dark. Who else in the school had that kind of experience? We were the only ones prepared to be spider-catchers. It wasn’t going to be easy, but as Spaceman Jack says, ‘If it was easy, everyone would do it. It’s the hard things in life that require the most bravery.’ And maybe this would be the way I could prove once and for all to Ralph, and to everyone else, that I was NOT a scaredy-cat.

  I looked solemnly around at my crew. ‘You’re right. It’s up to us to find Tulip. We need a plan.’

  After school, we ambushed our parents in the pick-up spot by the parking lot and asked if everyone could come over to my house. Usually my mum likes to arrange these things in advance, but it was an emergency.

  I told her as much. ‘Mum,’ I said. ‘It’s an

  ‘What kind of emergency?’ she said sceptically, holding on to Lucy with one hand. ‘Is it anything I should know about? Or any of the other parents?’

  ‘No, nothing like that,’ I said quickly. ‘It’s a kid emergency. You wouldn’t understand.’

  My mum sighed and looked at Bernard’s dad and Zoe’s mum. ‘If it’s all right with Bernard’s and Zoe’s parents,’ she said, ‘then it’s fine with me. You can stay for dinner.’

  We all cheered.

  Then I remembered Regina. ‘Mum, there’s another friend we wanted to invite as well. Could you ask Regina’s parents if she can come over too?’ I pointed at where Regina was standing with her parents and Ralph.

  ‘Sam, you know if we invite Regina, we have to invite her brother Ralph too,’ said my mum.

  My mum is a big believer in being ‘fair’ and ‘welcoming’. I sighed. There was going to be no getting out of it. No matter how much I didn’t want to spend any more time with Ralph than I absolutely had to. Part of me wondered if maybe, just maybe, he’d be nicer outside school, like he had been when we’d gone camping. But I doubted it. Like Spaceman Jack says, ‘An alien leopard doesn’t usually change its spots.’

  It turned out Ralph and Regina had piano lessons, so they weren’t able to come over anyway.

  Ralph couldn’t believe I had invited him and Regina to my house. ‘Who would want to go to Sam Wu-ser’s house?’ he sneered under his breath when our parents couldn’t hear us.

  ‘Well, even if you had wanted me to come, I wouldn’t have wanted to come. The only reason I hung out with you guys while we were camping is because I had no other options.’

  We glared at each other. Ralph was still the worst.

  ‘Have fun at your house with your zombie werewolf,’ I muttered. Regina had told us that she and Ralph were convinced there was a zombie werewolf trapped in their basement. She wanted me, Bernard and Zoe to come over to investigate, but so far it hadn’t happened. I wasn’t sure if I was ready to face a zombie werewolf, if I was being totally honest.

  The mention of the zombie werewolf worked on Ralph. He went pale and then stormed off after his parents and Regina.

  ‘Come on, Sam!’ my mum called from her car. I ran after her and hopped in the car with Zoe, Bernard and Lucy.

  The first thing we did when we got back to my house was stock up on snacks. Everyone knows sustenance6 is the secret to having a successful planning session.

  I grabbed some jelly beans, string cheese, oranges and crackers, and we went outside to plot. My mum gave us a blanket to spread out on the grass. ‘For your picnic,’ she said.

  ‘It’s NOT a picnic,’ I said. ‘It’s a very important, top-secret planning session.’

  ‘Okay, Sam,’ said my mum with a smile. ‘Would you like some juice with your important, top-secret planning session?’

  ‘Yes, please Mrs Wu!’ said Zoe.

  I turned to my friends. ‘Okay,’ I said seriously. ‘Let’s go over what we know. Bernard, can you write this all down?’

  Bernard reached into his backpack and pulled out a notebook and pen. ‘On it!’ he said.

  ‘We know that Tulip went missing sometime after lunch today,’ I said.

  ‘Most likely in the science lab,’ added Zoe.

  We paused, because
that was really all we knew.

  ‘We also know that Mr Dougal probably won’t be able to find her,’ I said. ‘I mean, did you see his classroom?’

  Zoe and Bernard nodded solemnly.

  ‘And we know that we are probably the school’s ONLY HOPE of finding the extremely dangerous, potentially DEADLY giant spider.’

  Bernard scrunched his face up in disagreement. ‘I don’t think Tulip is a deadly spider,’ he said. ‘From everything I’ve read about spiders, and it’s a lot, tarantulas aren’t deadly to humans. I mean, if we were mice or birds, we would be in trouble.’

  I sighed. ‘Okay, fine. We are the school’s ONLY HOPE of finding the EXTREMELY DANGEROUS and VERY AGGRESSIVE giant spider.’

  ‘Better,’ said Bernard, scribbling furiously on the pad of paper.

  ‘Now what?’ said Zoe, crunching on a cracker.

  ‘Hmmm,’ I said, looking up at the sky, hoping that inspiration would strike. Captain Jane on says you have to be prepared for inspiration to strike at ANY moment. I was hoping it would choose this moment, when I really needed it, to strike. Just then something struck me right in my side and knocked me over on to the picnic blanket, sending jelly beans scattering everywhere. ‘Oomph!’ I said, as two sticky hands grabbed my face.

  ‘WHAT’S THE EMERGENCY?’ Lucy shouted.

  ‘Get off me,’ I grumbled, sitting up and pushing my little sister off. ‘And go back inside – we’re having a very important meeting.’

  ‘I heard you in the car park,’ said Lucy, bouncing excitedly. ‘Talking about a secret EMERGENCY meeting you were going to have. I wanted to come straight out, but I had to have my snack first.’ She looked around at our now-scattered food. ‘If I’d known you had snacks out here, I would have come right away!’

  ‘It’s top secret, Lucy,’ I said. ‘We can’t tell you. Sorry.’