Tell Me You Want Me

by Willow Winters

  Suzette

  I knock softly at Adrian’s door and go in. It’s the latest I’ve ever visited him, but he’s been busy all day and evening. As it stands I’ve barely seen him the last two days, and when I do, he’s reserved with me and soft in a way he hasn’t been before. I nearly left, thinking maybe he just needed space and wasn’t telling me, but I thought better of it.

  I messaged: I have work I can do too, do you mind if I stop by later tonight?

  His response told me everything I needed to know: I’d love it if you did.

  So with all these nerves still wreaking havoc inside of me, and the realization that I’m head over heels for a man and I think he may be head over heels for me too, I crack open the door to his office.

  “Adrian,” I call out, saying his name as if to gauge whether or not he’s done even though he told me if I came up at nine he should be finished.

  Sitting at his desk, Adrian runs his hands over his hair. “Suzette,” he responds, my name a murmur on his lips. His stress is apparent even from the door.

  “Come have a drink with me,” he offers and I instantly relax.

  I go around his desk and fold my arms around him from behind, resting my chin on his shoulder. He leans into me for a kiss on the cheek and I feel like I could burst with all the things that threaten to spill out of me. There are so many things that I can’t decide what to say first. That I love him? That I’m in love with him? It feels almost childish, raw and vulnerable. It doesn’t escape me that I’m insecure and he hasn’t given me a reason not to be. I’m holding back and he hasn’t as far as I know. This is the part of the relationship where it doesn’t feel even.

  He may be my boss, the devil in a suit, rich and powerful and I’m lowly compared to him on the surface of it all, but I’ve never felt inferior. Not until now. Not until I’ve realized how I feel and that I’m terrified to admit it, just in case he doesn’t feel the same.

  Adrian turns his face to mine and stands up, pushing his chair out of the way before I can speak. I can taste alcohol on him. He’s been drinking, no doubt to get rid of the stresses of the day, though it’s a good stress. At least I thought it was. The numbers are good and I’m excited for our meeting next week. I’m not sure what it will entail but I already have a business plan laid out. It’ll be wonderful, I can reassure him of that.

  “I need you,” he whispers against the crook of my neck and the warmth of his breath forces my head to fall back and desire spreads through me like wildfire.

  He’s almost frantic at my clothes, pushing my skirt up and lifting me onto the desk. A gasp leaves me and it’s all too welcomed. Maybe he needs this as much as I do. Adrian strips off my panties with an efficient movement as he looks me in the eyes, his emotions running through them too fast for me to name them all. He undoes his belt and zipper and pushes into me with the same ferocity he used that first day. He’s not shy about putting his hands on my body wherever he wants them. He touches me everywhere he can reach, with a firm grip on my thighs and my hips. Adrian fucks me in the way I love him to, with possessive strokes. Pleasure pools between my legs at how close he is and how intimate it is to be used like this.

  My nails dig into his shoulder as I moan his name. His thrusts are merciless and the pleasure builds and builds without warning.

  We’re in danger of knocking things off the desk now and it’s so hot to see him unraveling like this.

  All too soon, I come first and then he follows. It’s only when he leaves me, both of us still catching our breath that I realize he’s fully clothed.

  “Would you want me still if I couldn’t afford it?” His question came out of nowhere.

  “What?” My head is cloudy with lust and my legs still tremble as I try to gather what he’s said. “Afford what?”

  “To support the split. To fund the company during the changes.”

  I pull back so I can look into his eyes, following his movements as he undoes his tie and then reaches into his desk for tissues, no doubt to clean up. I’m surprised that he’s talking business after six, let alone the second he finished inside of me. Of all the things I want to respond, I want to tease him about it, to lighten it and allay any worries he has.

  Before any words can leave me, his gaze pins me. It’s one of a wounded man. The same vulnerability that plagued me all day stares back at me.

  “I couldn’t give two shits if you have money. I don’t care.” The last couple of days play through my mind. “Is that what’s been bothering you?” I ask. “Is it because of my department? I mean it, Adrian.” I lick my lips, rushing my words out and praying he understands just how much I mean it. “If you don’t want to save the department, if it has to go … I would still want you.”

  His pace has slowed, but it’s as if he can’t bring himself to end this conversation. Adrian looks down and I swallow hard.

  “Adrian. I swear to you. If you need to tell me something, it’s okay.” Reaching for the box of tissues and taking it from him, I attempt to convince him. “If you need to tell me something, you can.” There’s an ache that starts in my chest, but it works its way outward. “I’ll still want you.”

  His pale blue eyes come back to mine again. “Suzette.”

  “Jobs come and go.” I get a lump in my throat from unshed tears and my love for him. How did this even happen? I’ve never wanted to cover myself more, but I’m on his desk and my clothes are on the floor. “Just like clients. I love my job. I love what I do, and I believe in it. But if something were to happen …” Feeling his eyes on my naked body like this makes me even more emotional. Adrian is so connected to this job for me. I met him here, even though he came to change everything. I don’t know whether I’m just clinging to those memories or if I’m genuinely afraid to lose my job. “If funding fell through …” He doesn’t react at all, other than to pull my hips to the edge of the desk and rest his forehead against mine. “If it all fell to shit and was taken away …”

  “Hush.”

  I do hush, because I can tell what he wants right now is to lose ourselves in the pleasure of this moment.

  “I need you again,” he whispers and I’m shocked as he pushes me back. Still hard, still demanding and as rough as he was earlier.

  “I want you and I’ll always want you,” he tells me between thrusts, his voice thick with emotion. My lips crash against his and a wave of emotion spreads through me.

  I want to tell him, “That’s all that matters.” But words fail me and strangled moans are all I can offer him.

  He groans, “I need more of you.”

  I spread my legs wide for him and brace my hands on the desk so he can fuck me as hard as he likes. “Come for me,” he whispers in my ear, and heat explodes between my thighs in clenching pulses that make him groan and pulse. When he’s finished he pulls me off the desk and into his chair. I’m straddling him now, his hands on my waist, and I try to catch my breath so I can continue our conversation.

  Even if he doesn’t want to. Even if it means being too open, too raw, too needy. I just need him to know exactly how I feel.

  “Listen to me.” I take his hand and put it to my chest. “I would survive. I could start my company from scratch. I might not be able to keep the clients, but I would find more. I don’t want you because you can support me, if that’s what you’re worried about. I want you for you. God knows I hated the idea of you when I first saw you but I—” I swallow, and chicken out, backing away from the truth I’m too scared to voice. “I want you.” It’s all that I can say.

  It’s true. If I learned one thing from my divorce, it’s that I’ll always be able to find a way to support myself. I might worry about it but if the occasion arises, I’ll handle it. That’s what it means to be a woman in the world. You always have to be able to find a way.

  I put both my hands on the sides of his face. “Are you all right?”

  He strokes my cheek. “It was only a question. I didn’t mean to make you worry.”

  “If
I should worry, you would tell me, wouldn’t you?”

  He looks deep into my eyes and pulls me in for another kiss. This one is deep and slow and it’s like he wants to memorize every part of me. “You don’t have to worry,” Adrian whispers against my lips. “I want you.”

  “I want you too.” I pull his lip between my teeth and add a little pressure so he can feel it. His deep groan is everything I needed to hear.

  Adrian’s already hard beneath me again, so it takes nothing to lift myself up and ease back down on his thick length. It’s a sweeter connection this time, though he’s just as possessive with me. I lean down and kiss him while we move together. Adrian can’t help but take control, making his thrusts deeper and harder, and it feels so good that it brings on another orgasm. It moves through my body and makes me tip my head back with the kind of ecstasy I’ve been looking for all this time for so long. I never thought I’d find it again and I found it here in Adrian. Here in this most forbidden of arrangements.

  When it’s over I open my eyes and look into his. He’s watching me with heat in his expression and love too. “I love you,” I tell him.

  He groans and pulls me down onto his cock, fucking me as deep as he ever has. He holds on tightly, as if he never wants to let me go, but he doesn’t say it back.

  Adrian

  “The penthouse in Tribeca is five million,” I speak clearly, standing in the office and imagining how this office in the high-rise could easily double for temporary housing. I’ll take the meetings in the conference room. “I’ll sell the furniture with it, that should bring it up another million.”

  “Business shouldn’t affect your personal—”

  “We tallied the numbers with the other assets,” I repeat to my father. My financial advisor is on the phone as well. He’s seen the contract, he knows what deals went down. More importantly, he has a tally of every investment I have. I simply can’t lose the majority of them. If I sell now, I’ll lose so much more than the current value. There is only so much that can give. “I’ll find somewhere cheaper, and that’s far better than losing investments or paying the interest.”

  My financial manager, Sean, speaks through the line, “I agree and there are plenty of other markets on the upswing. It could be beneficial in the long run.”

  “There’s no reason not to sell the list and dissolve the—” My father attempts to chime in. If I didn’t respect him as much as I do, I’d tell him to fuck off. To get off the line. To get out of my business. But as it stands, he’s my father. He’s just as involved in this deal as he has been in the others. He’s my mentor and I know he means well. That list and Suzette’s departments are nonnegotiable.

  I told her I would protect her. And I meant it.

  “Yes, there is.”

  “I saw the deals, Adrian. Why the hell are you doing this? I didn’t raise you to—”

  “Because she’ll hate me,” I bite out, forming a fist as my muscles coil. “This is a business call. If you cannot remain professional, I will take the call alone as I would have preferred to do.”

  “Who is she?”

  “It’s personal. I’m keeping that investment and I want you to respect that.”

  “It’s worth you losing your home?”

  “It’s worth me losing everything.” The amount of rage is equal to my desperation. Chaos swarms in my blood. “I cannot lose her.”

  There’s silence on the line before an awkward cough from my advisor. Sean states the numbers we’ve gone over a hundred times in the last six hours.

  “If she would hate you for it, then she’s not the one for you.” My father’s tone is somber and before I can say anything else, there’s a click on the line.

  “Adrian?” Sean questions, “Are you still there?”

  “Yes, it was my father who left.” There’s a hollowness in my chest that fills with a mix of emotions. “Where were we?” I say and then sit back down in the chair.

  The money, the power—none of it means anything if I can’t have her.

  Keeping Sean on speaker, I text my father: She doesn’t know any of this and I don’t want her to. I love her and you will too when you meet her.

  I know it’s the right thing to do by her. I can make this work. I can have it all.

  I text him again before he responds. Maybe hate was strong. She would be upset, but she wouldn’t hate me. I want to do everything I can for her. You need to trust me on this.

  All she needs is this chance. I believe in her and I’ll make the money back. I’ll be a man worthy of a woman like her.

  I just don’t know how to tell her or if I even should.

  “If we could touch base about the article today,” my advisor starts, “it does not seem to be as telling as we were led to believe.” I was given a heads-up yesterday that Wyatt’s dealing would make headlines. It’s a scandal in the making given how the property deal went down.

  “I was able to pull some strings,” I tell him.

  “Have you gotten any pushback from investors? Any concerned calls?”

  “A few.” My brow pinches at remembering the early calls and emails this morning, wanting to know whether or not the deals would still be going through. “As far as I know, everyone is satisfied.”

  “Excellent. I know this isn’t ideal, but this is manageable. I do, however, recommend not signing any contracts of that magnitude until the lawyers have approved. I spoke with Carly and she told me she had not finished negotiations.”

  I can only nod, remembering how light I felt, signing that contract … with Suzette on my mind. With Wyatt’s approval, about her. Coming to terms with how I’d fallen for her.

  “I was distracted,” I admit to him.

  “Whatever it was, see to it that this doesn’t happen again. There’s only so much we can do and next time it may not be salvageable.”

  The knock at my door is hesitant and then Andrea opens it without waiting for a response. It comes at the same time that a text comes through.

  “Not now,” I tell Andrea who nods and closes the door softly.

  I thought it would be my father, but it’s Suzette.

  I want you. I love you for you. I don’t need your money, and I wouldn’t think less of you if you weren’t in the position you’re in.

  As if this day could get any harder. I know she loves me. And I’m going to prove to her that I love her back. Words aren’t enough.

  “It will be tight for a few months unless something breaks. We can file for a few extensions. It will get you through and we can keep it discreet, but you do not have leverage to spend for the time being.”

  “I understand.” A heat tingles the back of my neck. This position I’m in is less than ideal. I can’t blame Wyatt. The blame squarely falls on my shoulders.

  Sean twists the knife even more. “For all intents and purposes, you are broke.”

  “I know, Sean. I know what it means.”

  There’s another knock on my door, more forceful than before.

  “Mr. Bradford,” Andrea speaks up and her tone makes it evident that whatever it is, it needs to be said now.

  “I’ll call you back shortly,” I tell Sean and hang up before he can respond as Andrea walks in. The door closes behind her. Dressed in loose gray pants and a billowy white top, she’s nothing but professional.

  “What is it?” I question.

  “I made a mistake,” she tells me, not taking the seat she stands behind.

  “We all do,” I say, attempting to ease any worries she has, but her expression doesn’t appear to reflect that. There’s not a worry line in sight.

  “The error in the contract with Mr. Wyatt Patton’s—” she starts.

  I still, my blood going cold. “What about it? What error?”

  “I sent in half of the contract signed, but the second half … Somehow,” she says and gestures in the air, a shrug rolling from her shoulders, “I faxed it over unsigned.” Her lips quirk up at the end. As if she knows.

  Of course sh
e does.

  “Andrea.” My head falls into my hands for only a moment, the relief waning as if this isn’t real. “Could you repeat that, please?” I swallow thickly, praying that what I heard her say is exactly what she did say.

  “From what I can tell,” she tells me, now taking the seat slowly, “I must have had some questions and somehow I mixed up the paperwork.”

  “I have to call my lawyer,” I tell her, still in a state of disbelief, my hands nearly trembling. If she’s serious, if she didn’t send it … It’s twenty million that she saved me.

  “I thought you might say that.” She pats the desk before standing. “She distracts you, but like I’ve always told you, I’ve got your back.”

  “I could kiss you—”

  “Please don’t,” she says jokingly.

  “I don’t know how to repay you,” I tell her softly before she can leave, still not truly believing. Not until I see it myself and not until it’s confirmed.

  Suzette

  I don’t think I’ve ever been so nervous for a dinner date. This man has fucked every part of me, he’s seen me break down and punished me in ways a younger me wouldn’t understand.

  He knows me and every inch of me. And that’s what scares me. He could crush me so very easily and it would take far more than a bottle of rosé at Maddie’s to get over him.

  In the back of his car, with Adrian’s driver taking me through the city, I sit alone. According to Noah, he’s to take me to dinner and Adrian is meeting me there.

  I play it off as if I’m not nervous at all. As if tonight doesn’t feel different. As if that’s a perfectly normal thing to happen. It’s a perfect New York City evening. The sunset is a watercolor painting above the buildings, slowly growing darker as the few stars we can see appear high above us.

  I’m in love with him, and no matter what he says, I think he loves me too. My heart beats faster with every minute that passes on the drive, and I can’t concentrate on my phone. Finally, I put it in my purse and ignore it completely. All the emails I need to send can wait.