The Chariot at Dusk

by Swati Teerdhala

  He wouldn’t leave here without the lamp.

  Yamini’s face froze, her eyes growing wide as Kunal turned and set upon her. Two Yavar jumped in and pulled her out of his range.

  Arpiya slammed the hilt of her knife into one Yavar’s head and hitched the soldier over her hip. The Yavar fell in a sprawl and then crawled back, getting to her feet and running away. Two others weren’t so lucky and didn’t catch their lady’s retreat. Laksh ended one swiftly with a slash to the throat; Bhandu stabbed the other.

  Kunal’s eyes were on the retreating form of Yamini. He was about to run after her when a scream rent the air. Laksh and Bhandu were backed into the wall by the Yavar, in dire need of backup if the fresh wound in Bhandu’s arm was indication.

  But Yamini was disappearing into the jungle, with one of their only hopes at salvation.

  Another choice.

  Another decision.

  “Kunal! Go after her.” He heard Laksh’s voice, but it sounded like an echo in his ears, a hazy memory. He should go, chase after Yamini, but his body didn’t seem willing to move with him.

  What if this was the wrong choice, like he had made before?

  Was he even capable of making the right choice?

  It was the split second she needed to make her escape. Thankfully, Arpiya didn’t hesitate. She sprinted after Yamini and the lamp, a look of fierce determination on her face.

  Kunal finally woke from his stupor and rushed after them, putting every bit of his strength into the chase, lifting off and soaring into the air. He quickly caught up with Arpiya, who was grappling with Yamini on the ground.

  They were evenly matched. Yamini had her elbow at Arpiya’s throat. But Arpiya had a knife at Yamini’s side. She dug it in without hesitation, with precision.

  The lamp dropped out of Yamini’s hand as she twisted and yelped in pain. Kunal sped to catch the lamp, snatching it from the ground. Yamini snarled at the both of them before sprinting away, having realized she was outnumbered.

  Kunal tried to run after her but a deep groan from Arpiya stopped him. And they had the lamp. Yamini would have to wait.

  “She’s gone,” Arpiya said, panting. It was only then that Kunal noticed that she was injured as well. Arpiya held her left shoulder, stanching a wound with her palm.

  “It doesn’t matter. We have the lamp, thanks to you.”

  “My pleasure,” she said, trying to salute but wincing instead.

  “Let’s get out of here,” he said. “Bhandu’s hurt.”

  Kunal glanced back before they left.

  The space where Yamini had been was deserted, only a trail of blood left.

  They arrived back at the jungle at the base of the mountains, making camp as soon as they could.

  Everyone’s spirits were high, and no one mentioned the way Kunal had frozen, only the bravery that Arpiya had shown. Laksh had wanted Kunal to tell the story of Arpiya stabbing Yamini one too many times for Kunal’s comfort.

  But Kunal was in a good mood, and even went along with one of Laksh’s jokes. No one had quite known what to do after that. Bhandu was in a corner under a copse of trees, fast asleep, his wound patched up. He had been pretty happy at the possibility of adding another scar to his collection. Laksh and Arpiya had drifted off to sleep, far too close together for Kunal’s taste, but he let it go.

  Kunal tried to sleep, but it evaded him. He decided to take a patrol, though with his hearing and the traps they’d set up, no one really had to take patrols regularly. But a restless energy pursued him.

  He cut through the thick jungle. The maze calmed him, forced him to focus on only what was in front of him. It was so different from his first time in a jungle, back in the Tej rain forest. Then he hadn’t known of his powers or heritage, had merely been trying to fulfill a mission, honor his uncle.

  How much had changed since then.

  A noise sounded in the brush, steps away from him.

  “Who is it?” Kunal asked.

  A figure, draped in furs, walked into the light. Yamini.

  Kunal instantly went on guard to attack. He rushed at her, but she neatly dodged and knocked him down with the flat of her spearhead, the tip slicing into the skin of his arm. Pain seared through Kunal, bursting across his vision like a blue haze.

  He tried to get to his knees, but his body wasn’t listening anymore.

  “Hello, Kunal,” she said, looming over him. He dragged out his sword and held it threateningly in front of him. Yamini didn’t step closer than a few paces.

  “What do you want?” he said. His lungs felt on fire. “And what in the Sun Maiden’s name did you do to me?”

  Yamini stepped forward, tilting her head in question. “What do you mean? Oh, I found a way to embed blue sapphires into my spear. A sound measure, it seems.”

  “If you were looking for another bargaining chip, I will be useless,” he said, gritting his teeth as he rose to his feet. He stayed out of range of her spear. “They won’t trade for me. There will be no rescue.”

  “I doubt that.” She looked past him, into the dark jungle behind him. “But I’m not looking for a bargaining chip. I wanted to talk.” Yamini held her arms wide open, sweeping her arm across. “And I’m alone. No tricks. Not this time.”

  Kunal didn’t ease his posture, keeping his sword where it was. Instead of lowering it, he raised it to her throat. “Then talk. But know that if you’re looking to find the rest of them, I won’t lead you there.”

  Yamini blinked. “Ever the consummate soldier. I see why Esha liked you.”

  Now it was Kunal’s turn to blink rapidly.

  “Kunal, you’re a soldier. A practical man, even if you’re a royal. I’ve heard reports of what the past ten years in Jansa have been like. Harsh for the common folk, especially those in rural areas. The land has become unforgiving due to an ambitious king—”

  “—who you helped—”

  “—and a relentless, ancient bond that in all honesty is more like shackles. Demanding blood from the two most arcane and depleted houses? The entire land depended on the royals to flourish, and so did the people. Don’t you think that’s a bit unfair?”

  “Yes,” Kunal said. Yamini’s brows rose in surprise at his agreement. “I do think it’s unfair. To both sides. But do you know why it happened? The people once had a direct bond with the land but were poor stewards. The gods almost took away our connection to the land, but the ancient royals stepped up and took the burden of the knowledge and the magic to ensure the land for all of the people.”

  Kunal caught Yamini’s surprise. She hadn’t heard the full story before.

  “Perhaps that is true, but that’s more reason that the old bond should be broken,” she said.

  “That could be a catastrophe for all of us. Look at what happened when we failed to renew the bond. Chaos for all of Jansa. We’re in uncharted territory.”

  “Uncharted territory could mean a new start,” she said. “You of all people should want that. It’s clear you care about your country. And the deal that the ancient royals made may have worked back then, but it doesn’t work now. You know what the Yavar speak of? A horrible choice that was once forced on Vasu the Wanderer. He betrayed his truest friends, Naran and Naria, and was banished to walk the land for eons as punishment. Our lives are not punishment. The Yavar have thrived. But I want more for my people. I want a new world order, not one determined by people centuries ago.

  “I want us to start again. All of us as equals.”

  The idea rang true to Kunal, to the part of him that had always felt unmoored by the current status quo. He didn’t know what horrible choice Vasu the Wanderer had to make, but Kunal understood the pain, the agony, of doing what one thought was right. Even now, he wondered if he had made the right choice by leaving behind his newfound friends before.

  He and Reha had failed, but did that make him more wrong to have chosen so? He knew that the success of the mission wasn’t what had turned Esha from him. It was his choice.

/>   And he didn’t know if he would’ve made a different one.

  “Equals? How could we trust that?”

  “The way a soldier trusted a rebel,” Yamini said.

  Kunal shifted in place, tightening his grip on his sword. “It would be chaos,” he said.

  “Is that such a bad thing? A new world order demands change.”

  “I agree that the curse on your people is not fair,” Kunal said. “Generations shouldn’t have to pay for the misdeeds of a few. But the gods are not meant to be kind. They are all knowing.”

  “We are meant to shape our own destinies. Think on it, Kunal. There’s a chance for a new world,” Yamini said. “That’s all I want—not power or glory or an empire. Just a chance.”

  A noise startled them both, and Kunal whipped toward it. By the time he turned back around, Yamini had faded into the night.

  Chapter 20

  Kunal took a deep breath before pushing open the door to the meeting room. They had returned to the palace a few days ago. Everything had gone well on their mission, and yet, he was nervous to be back. It had all felt so simple when he was searching for the lamp, but now he had to face the decisions he had made.

  He inched the door open, trying not to make any noise. Only Esha and Arpiya were in the room, both of their heads bent low as they chatted. Esha let out a laugh and Kunal almost smiled. She was radiant.

  He didn’t know when he’d be able to get her to smile like that again, if ever.

  Kunal had noticed a slight softening of her position toward him. Esha glanced at him now and again, when she thought he wasn’t looking. He felt torn between remorse and a hot rush of indignation at her. It was cursed unfair that he was left here worrying about their every interaction, pretending and failing at not caring. He noticed the very way she breathed.

  Kunal frowned, feeling the edges of it carve into his cheeks. Maybe he had been too hasty to push her away, but his pride held him back. She had been the one to withdraw her hand first, to judge and accuse.

  “Brooding again, are you?” Alok said, coming up behind him. He clasped Kunal on the shoulder.

  “Again?”

  “You’ve been doing more of it recently.” Alok looked pointedly at Esha. “I think I might know why. Give it time.”

  “That’s what everyone’s saying.” Kunal let out a small growl of frustration.

  “Then everyone’s right.”

  “You don’t know her like I do. She doesn’t take to forgiveness easily.”

  “Then maybe you shouldn’t have done something to forgive?” Alok’s friendly gaze showed a flash of something steelier.

  “Not you too,” Kunal said. “I know. I get it. I’ve heard it every single way from almost every single person in this room. I didn’t murder anyone.” Kunal’s voice rose, and Alok had to shush him, dragging him into a corner of the room.

  “Harun was captured,” Alok said in a low tone.

  “I didn’t know! And I’ve made up for it since. Did we not bring back the lamp?”

  Alok sighed. “Emotions don’t work like that. That’s why I said to give it time.”

  Kunal growled. “I’m sick to death of that. Bhandu has moved on. Arpiya is fine. It’s only her. And she acts as if she had no part in it. She’s being so . . . stubborn.”

  “Oh yes. Stubborn. Esha is the stubborn one. Of course,” Alok said.

  “I can’t grovel forever,” Kunal said, voicing a thought that had been becoming stronger.

  “Can’t or won’t?”

  “She’s being unreasonable.”

  “She’s hurt.”

  “Well, that makes two of us!” Kunal said with more force than he intended. Alok merely blinked at him. Kunal could’ve sworn he was trying to hide a smile, or a sigh. “It . . . doesn’t feel good that she immediately assumed the worst of me. That even now she won’t even try to hear me out. How do you build a future off that?”

  This time Alok did sigh. He patted him on the shoulder. “Everyone has been on edge for so long, and now with the threat from Yamini . . .”

  Kunal groaned. “Speaking of Yamini, we need to act quickly. We have a lot to discuss.”

  He motioned for Alok to shut the door just as Bhandu and Aahal walked through it, resulting in a loud bang and a yelp from Bhandu.

  Esha’s head shot up in alarm before she sighed and got to her feet. It was hard to tell if she’d noticed Kunal. He’d come to expect some sort of reaction, even if it was simply her ignoring him as best as she could.

  “Are you all right, Bhandu?” she asked.

  “Yes,” Bhandu grumbled back, shooting a dirty look at Alok. His wound had healed up nicely, though Bhandu still winced a little as he moved his arm.

  Alok whispered, “Sorry,” and put his hands up, backing away from the door and the angry young man rubbing his shoulder. They began to bicker, with Aahal and Arpiya taking sides and adding commentary.

  “Are you going to stand in that corner all evening, soldier? Come into the light,” Esha said. She stood near a tall chair, next to the window.

  Kunal started. She had noticed him. He smiled before he could help it and quickly worked to change it into a frown. Esha didn’t miss a beat, though.

  “I’m not sure a smile is warranted, soldier,” Esha said softly. She didn’t walk away as he approached this time, even though Bhandu, Alok, and Arpiya were fighting still. That meant the two of them alone.

  That tiny ember of hope sparked, as it always did.

  “You came back, though, which is an improvement,” she said. “You did well with finding and retrieving the lamp. It all went rather well, I hear, despite the ambush. Though . . . I also heard that we might have had a chance to capture Yamini. Arpiya had to run after her. You’d think, with your wings and all those powers, you might’ve gotten there before her.”

  Kunal looked at her in question before realizing. “Bhandu already sent you a full report, did he?”

  “I heard you hesitated. Are you reconsidering working with us, soldier?” Esha asked lightly. Still, Kunal didn’t miss the steel edge to her question.

  Had he? Hesitated?

  “No, I’m not, Viper,” he said. “And I didn’t hesitate.”

  And if he had, could he be faulted? For the longest time all he wanted to do was follow his duty, and when he had discovered how much wrong he had allowed in the name of that duty, he had committed himself to doing better. Doing whatever it took. But even that had been the wrong choice, and now it seemed as if, no matter what Kunal did, he’d never be able to right the wrongs in his past. That he was doomed to keep making mistakes.

  He kept trying and he kept failing.

  So what if he had hesitated? His indignation rose, comforting and welcome, to mask the shame under his skin. It was clear he couldn’t rely on his instincts.

  “You hesitated,” she stated flatly.

  Kunal jerked away from her. “You can stop your insinuation that it’s because I’ve made a new alliance. I haven’t.” Kunal swallowed roughly. “I was trying not to be rash. My team was there, and I couldn’t make the decision for them.”

  Esha walked around the chair till she faced him, searching for something in his expression. Her tone softened. “I see. So you’re saying you didn’t act and you let Arpiya run after Yamini. For your team?”

  “They were outnumbered. I heard Bhandu scream,” he said. Kunal hoped Esha hadn’t heard the waver in his voice, the uncertainty that sat below. “And I did catch up to Arpiya and Yamini, once I made sure the others would be all right.”

  Esha raised an eyebrow. “Fair point. Are you really telling me you hesitated for your team? The team full of highly trained and capable warriors? For Bhandu, who treats wounds like things to collect? And you’re saying it had nothing to do with your own fear?”

  “What?”

  She tilted her head up. “You heard me, soldier.”

  “Kunal.”

  Esha shrugged.

  “I don’t have time to do this. B
elieve whatever you want about me, Esha. You always do.”

  “You’re deflecting,” Esha said, though she flinched.

  “And why do you even care?” Kunal said, his words clipped. Something rose in this throat, that pressure he had felt near the temple when he had paused and watched Yamini disappear. It felt like it would drown him under its weight. It whispered of all the things he might do wrong, had done wrong.

  He didn’t want to talk about this.

  Esha came closer, close enough that the scent of night rose washed over him, memories close behind. It only added to the suffocating feeling he felt. There was another weight he didn’t know if he could ever escape from.

  “It’s okay to be scared,” she said. Her tone was softer, kinder, than he had heard in weeks. “It happens to everyone.”

  Kunal looked up, and Esha’s gaze was resting on him, her head tilted to the side and her lips pursed in . . . what? Concern?

  It punctured the suffocating bubble around him, and instantly the air between them changed.

  Thrummed.

  Esha noticed the change in Kunal almost immediately. He had seemed burdened before, trapped, even. And then his eyes flickered to hers and that spark between them—the cursed annoying feeling that would never go away—returned. And now he was looking at her like he had once, raw and vulnerable . . . and all too much.

  “Esha, I—” he started.

  She cut him off quickly, her heartbeat racing. “I just want to make sure hesitating doesn’t become a standard practice for you.” Esha kept her tone as formal as possible.

  “It won’t,” he said, matching her tone. “It didn’t.” Kunal’s cheeks flushed, and he crossed his arms. “Anyway, that’s rich coming from you.”

  “Me?”

  His face grew stony, his gaze sharp and pointed in a way she hadn’t been expecting. Like he saw her, all of her, and she was left wanting.

  “You’re scared too,” he accused.

  Esha laughed at that, mostly because she didn’t know how else to respond. Of course the minute there was a return of their old relationship, she had run away. She couldn’t trust in that. Better to keep the distance, be safe rather than burned again. But Esha couldn’t deny that she felt a pang of loss when his tone had turned to anger.