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Christmas Stories: Cute Stories for Kids Ages 4-8

Page 2

by Uncle Amon


  A: In the snow bank!

  Q: Who delivers cat Christmas presents?

  A: Santa Paws!

  Q: What are Santa’s helpers taught at an early age?

  A: The elf-abet!

  Q: What game do reindeer play in their stalls?

  A: Stable-tennis!

  Q: What do elf students do?

  A: Gnome work!

  Q: What can Santa give away and still keep?

  A: A cold!

  Q: Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?

  A: Santa Jaws!

  Q: How do you know when Santa Claus is near?

  A: It’s easy to sense his presents!

  Q: What songs do Santa’s gnomes sing to him when he comes home freezing on Christmas night?

  A: Freeze a jolly good fellow!

  Q: What do you call a man who claps at Christmas?

  A: Santapplause!

  Q: Did you hear about Dracula’s Christmas party?

  A: It was a scream!

  Q: Who sings “Love me tender,” and makes Christmas toys?

  A: Santa’s little Elvis!

  Q: What do vampires put on their turkey at Christmas?

  A: Grave-y!

  Q: What did the reindeer say to the linebacker?

  A: No more Blitzen for you!

  Q: What did Santa shout to his toys on Christmas Eve?

  A: Okay everyone, sack time!

  Q: What do snowmen do on the weekend?

  A: Chill out!

  Q: How do cats greet each other at Christmas?

  A: A furry merry Christmas and happy mew year!

  Q: Did you hear that one of Santa’s reindeer now works for Proctor and Gamble?

  A: It’s true. Comet cleans sinks!

  Q: What’s fat and jolly and runs on eight wheels?

  A: Santa on roller skates!

  Q: Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?

  A: You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit!

  Q: Which bug does not like Christmas?

  A: A humbug!

  Q: Who brings the Christmas presents to police stations?

  A: Santa Clues!

  Q: Why did your boyfriend return his Christmas tie?

  A: He said it was too tight!

  Q: What do you get when you cross a famous singer and one of Santa’s helpers?

  A: Elfis Presley!

  Q: What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?

  A: The Christmas alphabet has no el!

  Q: Why was Santa’s little helper depressed?

  A: Because he had low elf esteem!

  Q: Why does Santa go down chimneys?

  A: Because they soot him!

  Q: Why couldn’t the butterfly go to the Christmas ball?

  A: It was a moth ball!

  Q: Why couldn’t the Christmas tree stand up for itself?

  A: It didn’t have legs!

  Q: What did Dracula say at the Christmas party?

  A: Fancy a bite?

  Q: Why did the reindeer wear sunglasses at the beach?

  A: Because he didn’t want to be recognized!

  Q: What nationality is Santa Claus?

  A: North Polish!

  Q: What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve?

  A: Black mail!

  Q: What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?

  A: It is Christmas, Eve!

  Q: What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?

  A: Crisp Cringle!

  Q: What do you call a snowman in the summer?

  A: A water puddle!

  Q: What does Dracula write on his Christmas cards?

  A: Best vicious of the season!

  Q: How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?

  A: Fleece Navidad!

  Q: What happens to you at Christmas?

  A: Yule be happy!

  Q: How does Santa Claus take pictures?

  A: With his North Pole-aroid!

  Q: What did they call Santa after he lost his pants?

  A: Saint Knickerless!

  Q: What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa as they were looking out their front window?

  A: Looks like rein dear!

  Q: What reindeer can jump higher than a house?

  A: They all can! Houses can’t jump!

  Q: Why is it so cold at Christmas?

  A: Because it’s in Decembrrr!

  Q: What do snowmen like most about school?

  A: Snow and tell!

  Q: What is the cow’s holiday greeting?

  A: Mooooory Christmas!

  Q: Who is never hungry at Christmas?

  A: The turkey because he’s always stuffed!

  Q: What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?

  A: Santa Claustrophobia!

  Q: Why does Santa like to work in the garden?

  A: Because he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe!

  Q: What’s Santa called when he takes a rest while delivering presents?

  A: Santa pause!

  Q: What was the hairdresser’s favorite Christmas song?

  A: Oh comb all ye faithful!

  Q: What do you give a train driver for Christmas?

  A: Platform shoes!

  Q: Is it true that mummies love Christmas?

  A: Yes! Because of all the wrapping!

  Q: What’s Scrooge’s favorite Christmas game?

  A: Mean-opoly!

  Q: What does Santa say when he is sick?

  A: OH OH NO!

  Q: Who delivers elephants Christmas presents?

  A: Elephanta Claus!

  Q: If Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus had a child, what would he be called?

  A: A subordinate claus!

  Q: What’s the best thing to put in a Christmas cake?

  A: Your teeth!

  Q: Which of Santa’s reindeers needs to mind his manners the most?

  A: Rude-olph!

  Q: What do you get hanging from Santa’s roof?

  A: Tired arms!

  Q: What’s a ghost’s favorite Christmas entertainment?

  A: A phantomime!

  Q: What did the snowman say to his friend?

  A: I think I smell carrots!

  Q: What do you have in December that you don’t have in any other month?

  A: The letter D!

  Q: What do gnomes fear most about Christmas?

  A: They’re afraid Santa will give them the sack!

  Q: Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas Party?

  A: He had no body to go with!

  Q: What Christmas carol do parents love the most?

  A: Silent Night!

  Q: Why is a cat on a beach like Christmas?

  A: Because they both have sandy claws!

  Q: How do you make a slow reindeer fast?

  A: Don’t feed it!

  Q: What is the snowman’s favorite snack?

  A: Ice crispies!

  Q: What does Santa call that reindeer with no eyes?

  A: No-eyed-deer!

  Q: How many chimneys does Santa go down?

  A: Stacks!

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  Copyright © 2014

  All rights reserved. This book is a work of fiction. No part of this book or this book as a whole may be used, reproduced, or transmitted in any form or means without written permission from the publisher.

  Graphics and images used in this book are licensed and © Dollar Photo Club

 


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