Miz Scarlet and the Acrimonious Attorney

by Sara M. Barton

  “Yes indeedy,” he laughed, grinning from ear to ear. He settled himself in front of the ancient Mac, ready to get to work.

  “Shameless,” Larry moaned, shaking her head in disgust. Kenny chuckled at that.

  “Don’t blame me, Rivera. I offered you a perfectly good job at Mercer Security and you turned me down flat.”

  “Is Max going with you?” she wanted to know. Her former Major Crimes partner, the man she loved, now worked with Kenny.

  “No. He’s stuck in Greenwich, working on a white collar case.”

  “You’re going alone?” Larry and I both said those words at the same time. Jinx!

  “Actually, I plan on taking my assistant with me.”

  “You have an assistant?” This time Larry was a fraction of a second faster than me. Jinx again!

  “I do. I’m hoping she’s available for the trip.”

  “Have I ever met her?” I wanted to know. I didn’t like the fact that Kenny was keeping secrets from me.

  “Actually, Scarlet, you know her quite well.”

  “I do?” I was completely flummoxed. “Who is she?”

  He just sat there, smiling at me with that condescending Cheshire cat grin of his.

  “Oh, tell me you’re not serious!” Larry moaned. “No!”

  “Serious about what?” I looked at Kenny and then I looked at her. What was I missing?

  “In typical Miz Scarlet fashion, she’s oblivious to the obvious.”

  “I’m what?” I still had no idea what she meant.

  “Well, I guess I’ll be on my way. I’ve got to go tell my mama that she’ll be staying at the Four Acorns Inn for Easter.” She threw her hand up in the air, wagging it like she was the new America’s Got Talent winner. All those gold bangle bracelets clanged and clinked together like castanets. She stopped at the door, shook those shiny black curls from her shoulders, and blew us a kiss. “Later, peeps!”

  When the door closed behind her, Kenny and I were alone. I wanted answers and I wanted them right away. “What does she know that I don’t know?”

  “Sorry?” He gave me one of those blank looks, pretending not to know what I was talking about. It was maddening.

  “She knows your assistant and I don’t. How is that fair?”

  “I didn’t say you don’t know her. You did.”

  “So I do know her.”

  “I didn’t say that either.”

  “Well, you’d better say something fast, because I’m ready to....”

  I wasn’t expecting him to grab me that way, any more than I was prepared to find myself kissed with so much passion. When he finally let me go, I had only one question.

  “What was that all about?”

  “You’re going to assist me in my investigation. I am putting you on the clock.”

  “But I’ve got an inn to run,” I protested. “We’ve got guests coming in next week.”

  “And how many guests are here for the weekend?”

  “Three. The ladies are coming to town for their high school reunion.”

  “Who just happen to know Laurel and Lacey, who are also going to that reunion. Tell me they won’t enjoy playing hosts for the fun.”

  “Well, actually, if Bur and Jenny are around, it should be fine. We could send them off to area restaurants for special dinners, and as far as lunch goes, if we booked them tables at....”

  He cut me off in mid-sentence. “I don’t care how you work it out, babe. Just get it done. The family can handle the inn this weekend. Besides, you’re always griping that we don’t have enough time together as a couple. I’ve just given you the perfect lovers’ weekend. We’re heading to the Florida Keys to interview people. Tell me that’s not right up your alley.”

  “Well, since you put it that way,” I smiled, “I must admit it is.”

  “And it serves another purpose at the same time,” he acknowledged, nuzzling my ear. “If you’re not around here over the next few days, the press can’t question you. The pressure is off you.”

  “I like that,” I admitted, giggling as his lips tickled my neck.

  “Great. So, how would you like to find us a romantic place to stay down there? You’ve got plenty of contacts, don’t you?”

  “You don’t want anyone tracking you down,” I quickly surmised. He nodded. “Okay, Kenny. Do you want me to book the room and pay for it?”

  “I do, babe. We’re just a couple having a long weekend in the Keys. If the killer is down there, we don’t want to alert him to our real mission, do we?”

  “No, we don’t. I will take care of it,” I promised.

  Even as I said that, I put together a list of things I wanted the accommodation to have. Proximity to a nice beach. Luxury at a reasonable price. Privacy. I could hardly wait to sink my toes in the sand. Florida, here we come.

  I spent the next couple of days getting all of my ducks in a row in anticipation of the trip. I huddled with the Googins girls to come up with a weekend full of fun plans for the high school reunion, including a cocktail party hosted by Bur for all forty of the guests on Friday evening at the inn. I arranged for canapés and hors d’oeuvres to be delivered from a local caterer, who also promised to include a helper to pass them out. It would cost me an arm and a leg, but it was worth it.

  I called my friend, Jeffrey, who was an experienced travel writer with several books under his belt. “If you were looking for a romantic place in the Florida Keys for a weekend getaway, where would you stay?”

  “It depends. Do you want to be pampered or are you okay with looking after yourself?”

  “Well, that’s a good question. I want to be close to the beach and I want to have some time alone with my....”

  I froze momentarily. What was Kenny? “Boyfriend” sounded like a silly term, given the fact that we were both past forty and he had grown kids. “Beau” sounded like something out of Gone with the Wind. “Lover” was a little too much information under the circumstances. “Man” sounded so crass that I cringed at the notion. Hey, yo! Would ya give me and my man here a couple of Buds? And I couldn’t use that ubiquitous term, “fiancé” because he had yet to ask me to marry him. Rats!

  Lucky for me, Jeffrey filled in the blanks and saved me the trouble of fumbling over my words. “Oh, you found someone! How lovely to hear, Miz Scarlet. I am so happy for you!”

  “Thank you, Jeffrey. Kenny wants me to find a nice place for us to stay. We so rarely get time together, given all my inn duties.”

  “If you don’t mind entertaining yourselves, I have the perfect place. It’s a conch cottage with a water view on Islamorada that’s owned by a couple of friends of mine. It comes with a pair of beach cruiser bikes, kayaks, and fishing equipment. Do you want me to call them and see if it’s available?”

  Fishing equipment? That will be handy if Kenny and I needed to go undercover, I thought to myself. “Yes, please!”

  “You know what else is great, Scarlet? If you want to rent a boat or a jet ski, there’s a marina just down the road.”

  “It sounds perfect, Jeffrey.”

  “Trust me, if this guy is that special, this place will send your relationship into overdrive! Ooh-la-la!”

  Kenny’s eyes grew wide when I showed him photos of the conch cottage online. I could tell he liked the place.

  “Don’t you just love the West Indies-style furniture? And Jeffrey says you can see the ocean while you’re lying in the master bedroom. What do you think, honey? Is this a good choice?”

  “Maybe we should see if you can take a few more days off from the inn,” was his reply.

  “Really?”

  “Really. As long as we’re down there on business, we might as well take some personal time when we’re done. Do you think you can arrange it?”

  “Never fear. I’ll make it happen,” I promised him. One way or another, I am going on this trip with Kenny.

  When the Googins girls found out that Kenny wanted to spend six nights in Florida with me, they quickly excused th
emselves for a private conversation.

  “We’ll be right back, dear. Just give us a minute.”

  Sure enough, they returned a short time later with a list of demands. It seemed they wanted a little vacation time for themselves...at the inn.

  “We will do without you for six nights on one condition. We want to give Sadie, Lucille, and Harriet the Four Acorns Inn’s friends-and-family discount,” Lacey informed me. It was no skin off my nose if the ladies wanted to give their friends a deal on the rooms.

  “That’s fine with me,” I replied. “Since they’re your friends and you’ll be entertaining them, it makes perfect sense to me.”

  “We want them to stay with us for six nights, dear, not just three. After all, if you’re not going to be here, there’s no reason why we can’t have a week-long reunion, is there?” My mother looked at me hopefully. Who was I to say no? I knew how much she and Lacey loved to get together with their long-time chums.

  “As long as you behave yourselves,” I said cautiously. “I don’t want to come home and find out that any of you were arrested, married, tattooed, or hospitalized in my absence. And nobody better kick the bucket either.”

  “We agree.” They high-fived each other like a couple of high school seniors who just got asked out to the prom.

  “And I don’t want any monkey business!” I warned them. “No wild parties, no overnight dates, no....”

  “Nice try,” Lacey laughed. “The day I let you dictate my love life is the day I sprout wings and depart for the pearly gates.”

  “Okay. Well, if you’re going to have wild parties, please clean up afterwards and keep the gory details to yourselves.”

  “You always were a light-weight, Scarlet.” Lacey gave my mother a wink. I took that as a sure sign that the woman with the wild streak was already making a mental list of the men she planned to invite over in my absence. I could only thank God my mother had the sensibility to have a regular beau who visited a couple of times a months. Thaddeus was my kind of guy, a nice, stable man with both feet on the ground.

  “There’s just one more thing before we agree to let you leave us for a week. We’ll need some supplies in the house. We’d like you to do some shopping for us. Could you stock the fridge if we give you a list?”

  “I have a better idea. Why don’t you ladies do some online grocery shopping? Peapod delivers. Jenny can help with that.”

  “That would certainly be handy, dear.” My mother’s smile was disingenuous. She reminded me of a teenage girl who can’t wait for her parents to leave for a weekend away, so she can tell her friends the coast is clear. “Might we take a trip to the party store before you depart?”

  “How can I possibly say no to that?”

  After much thought, I decided it was probably best if I didn’t look too closely at their plans. I didn’t want anything to interfere with my trip to Florida. Whatever trouble they got themselves into in my absence would have to wait until my return.

  “I don’t suppose there’s a liquor store that delivers.” Lacey actually asked that question with a straight face.

  “Ah....” Why did I suddenly imagine coming home to a house full of senior citizens wearing nothing but their underwear and sliding across the foyer floor while my beautiful Bose music system blared out Bob Seeger’s Old Time Rock and Roll? At least my brother would be around, to post bail for the Googins girls if necessary. My hesitation proved too much for Lacey, who held out her hands for me to inspect.

  “I could go out and buy what we need, but some of those bottles are really quite heavy for a woman my age, Scarlet. It’s the arthritis that holds me back.”

  There it was...the little old lady card. She tossed it down like it was the fourth ace in a winner-take-all poker tournament.

  “Bur will take care of your bar needs,” I vowed. “He knows where to get the best prices on whatever libation floats your boat. And please don’t post your party photos on Facebook or Twitter!”

  “Ha! Are you afraid we’ll embarrass you?”

  “No, I’m afraid I’ll see things I will never be able to banish from my brain,” I shot back, pretending to shield my eyes.

  Larry and Max came for dinner the night before we left for Florida. After the gang finished eating, the Googins girls and Bur excused themselves to catch Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune. Jenny went off with a couple of friends to study for their nursing exam. The rest of us settled into our seats at the dining room table.

  “First order of business,” Kenny announced, “is the forensics report on C. Philip Grimshaw. What do you have for us, Larry?”

  “The single knife wound was fatal. The victim bled out. The only fingerprints recovered from the knife handle were unidentifiable, so we know the killer isn’t in the national system.”

  “Does that mean he’s not a criminal?” I asked, curious.

  “Not necessarily, Scarlet. Sometimes it just means he’s never been caught and convicted,” Max told me. “Some people have a knack for flying under the radar. They often come close to being arrested, but there’s not enough evidence to charge them or they flee the area. Unless you’re wanted for a serious crime, most times you can get away with just about anything other than murder.”

  “But why not extradite people who are on the run?” I wanted to know. “It just seems so wrong to let someone avoid jail simply because he ran away.”

  “It all boils down to money,” Kenny remarked. “If I’ve got a budget for my police department, I want it to be used effectively. I can’t send detectives on a wild goose chase to collect a suspect, especially if there is no guarantee I have enough evidence to successfully prosecute the guy.”

  “That’s why you and Kenny are headed to Florida, Miz Scarlet.” The retired State Police investigator gave me a little wink. “Your brilliant boyfriend managed to convince Martin, Dubinsky, and Moore to pick up the tab for this little jaunt, under the guise that Kenny is helping them to do damage control for the law firm. If you two bring back solid information that the Hartford Police can use to identify a suspect, they’ll be able to coordinate an investigation with their counterparts in Florida.”

  “And you can use your new software program as State Police liaison to show how effective good police communications are?” I turned to Larry as I said that. “You will look like a rock star.”

  “Excuse me?” She glared at me like I had said something so odious that just earned me a stint in solitary confinement.

  Chapter Thirteen

  “It’s true,” I continued confidently. “You’ll be the Jennifer Lopez of law enforcement if this case gets solved with the participation of multiple police agencies. It’s the ultimate test of that software product of yours, isn’t it? The task force will earn all kinds of accolades.”

  “She’s got you there, Larry Bear,” said Max with laugh.

  “That’s not why I’m doing it!” she snapped. “There’s a dead body still in the morgue and she’s talking about my career!”

  “And just for the record, you’re much hotter than Jennifer Lopez,” he added. He reached a finger out and touched her shoulder, quickly recoiling. “Ouch! You’re sizzling!”

  “Why don’t we get back to business,” Kenny suggested, “before Larry shows us all why messing with her is never a good idea?”

  “It’s not,” she reminded us with a scowl. “Besides, I don’t look anything like Jennifer Lopez!”

  “Oh, please!” I scoffed. “Maybe your hair is darker, but you’ve got that ‘hot Latino’ look. Men go nuts when you walk by! If they weren’t so afraid of you, you’d have to beat them off with a stick. It’s a good thing that Max knows your growl is worse than your bite!”

  “She hooked up with the smart guy,” he nodded sagely. “I may be going silver at the temple, but my gray matter still works just fine. Okay, what else do you have for us, ‘Jennifer’?”

  “You’re lucky I like you, Max, or I’d kick your can all the way to....”

  “People, please. Let
’s focus. I’ve got a flight to catch in less than twelve hours. Do you have any more forensic information, Larry?” Kenny prompted her.

  “The only other thing we know is that fingerprints that were found on the knife handle match the ones on the briefcase and wallet.”

  “So it was the killer who came back for those items.” I suddenly felt chilled. “I really did come face to face with him.”

  “That appears to be the case,” she agreed.

  “But why did he let me live?”

  She didn’t say anything. She just watched me carefully, waiting for the truth to sink into my addled brain.

  Oh!” I tapped my forehead with the heel of my hand as it dawned on me. “He was wearing that mask!”

  “Yes, Miz Scarlet. He probably assumed he was safe because you couldn’t identify him. I have little doubt that if he suspected you noticed those unusual eyes of his, he’d have punched your time clock permanently.”

  “There’s a comforting thought,” I replied sardonically. “Thanks for sharing.”

  “You’re welcome. Let me know if there’s anything else I can do for you,” she grinned, enjoying my discomfort. This was one of those times when Larry was just a little too forthcoming. I wondered if I’d have nightmares when I turned in for the night.

  “Next up, we’ll hear from Max about the financial status of the decedent.”

  “Let’s see. Where do I begin?” Kenny’s colleague from Mercer Security glanced down at his notes. I watched his eyes go back and forth across the page as he scanned the words written there. “The biggest surprise is that he was, at least on first glance, broke. The man had exactly one thousand nine hundred and ninety eight dollars in his Bank of America checking account. We haven’t found any other accounts within the United States. But his fifteen-year-old stepdaughter, Sybil, has a savings account with more than sixty thousand dollars in it.”

  I didn’t think there was anything particularly strange about that. “It’s probably money for college. It’s in a 529 savings account, isn’t it?”

  “No, the money is in a regular checking account that is in her name, but she doesn’t have access to it, at least not directly. Neither does her mother. It was controlled by Grimshaw.”