To Conquer Pride

by Jennifer Altman

  Elizabeth let him lead her, but refused to meet his gaze, instead staring into the empty grate. “What must you think of me?” she whispered. “Coming to your bedchamber in the middle of the night. Risking your reputation and my own…” Abruptly her eyes flew open. “You must have thought I came here to—”

  Darcy flinched, holding up his hand. “Elizabeth. Pray, allow me to speak.” He paused, studying her face as he collected his thoughts.

  “First, let me say that finding you outside my chambers was indeed unexpected. However, it was also one of the most delightful surprises of my life. As for what I thought you were doing here,” he continued, reaching for her hand and entwining his fingers with hers, “I was under the impression that you came to speak with me, as you clearly stated when I opened the door. It never occurred to me to think otherwise.

  “Now, as far as reputations go, while I care very little about my own in these circumstances, I do care about yours. But as we are already betrothed, in the unlikely event that anyone should find out about this visit, I would happily marry you tomorrow.” Pausing for a moment Darcy felt a smile overtaking his features, and he leaned forward, his voice a low hum. “As for your wild ways, I must own that I am quite partial to them. Remind me to tell your mother so, the next time we meet.”

  Elizabeth stared back at him. “Then, you are not angry with me?”

  “Angry with you? Whatever for?”

  “For… embarrassing you, in front of your servant. We cannot be certain your valet did not hear my voice.”

  Despite his best efforts, Darcy’s gaze traveled her body. “Elizabeth, I can assure you, anger is the furthest thing from my mind right now. And as for Pierce, even if he did hear, he is paid to be discreet.” For a moment he paused. “Elizabeth, I do feel I should ask, what of your maid? Did she not see you leave your own bedchamber?”

  For the first time since she entered the room, one side of Elizabeth’s mouth kicked up into her usual arch smile. “No, I dismissed her earlier in the evening. As my aunt and uncle are now in residence, I did not feel there could be any objection.”

  The air filled with the deep rumble of Darcy’s laughter. “Well, we shall have to take care in returning you to your chambers, nonetheless. Now, as I think we have exhausted the topic of you coming here, would you like to tell me what you wanted to speak with me about?”

  Once again, Elizabeth colored. “It is so trivial, I do not think I am brave enough to tell you after all of this.”

  “If it brought you here, I am certain it was not trivial. I believe you said you wished to ask me a question?”

  “Yes, I…” Elizabeth’s voice trailed off and she glanced nervously around the room. Taking a deep breath, she began again, “It is about Lydia. I was speaking with my sister, and according to Jane, Mr. Bingley did not purchase Mr. Hughes’ commission.”

  At Elizabeth’s words, Darcy tensed. “No,” he finally answered. “I did.”

  Elizabeth’s eyes widened, but before she could speak, Darcy continued, “Forgive me for not saying anything sooner.”

  “But, why would you do such a thing? Lydia does not deserve that type of consideration. And why did you not tell me of it when I questioned you after receiving my sister’s letter?”

  Darcy sighed. “Again, I must beg your pardon. I assure you I had the best intentions, but I can see now that it was not my place to make such a gesture. Not without consulting you first.” Looking into Elizabeth’s eyes, he willed her to understand. “As for why… While it was a privilege to help the lieutenant, and I had hoped Mrs. Hughes would also be pleased, I must admit that I thought mainly of you.”

  “I am afraid I do not understand. How was this to please me?”

  Darcy squirmed slightly in his seat. “Again, I realize it was wrong, but when we spoke in Hertfordshire this spring, you indicated that Miss Mary and Miss Catherine might benefit from having some distance placed between themselves and Mrs. Hughes. Of course, you must know that I would never have taken such a step if I did not think Mr. and Mrs. Hughes would benefit equally from the arrangement.”

  Elizabeth looked at him, her eyes wide. “But the cost!”

  To her obvious surprise, Darcy laughed. “Forgive me if I sound arrogant, Elizabeth, but the cost does not signify. It was comparatively little to ensure the happiness of all concerned.”

  “And can you tell me why you did not inform me of this when I received Lydia’s letter?”

  At her question, Darcy withdrew his hand, tugging on his cuffs and looking contritely about the room. “The money was given anonymously. It never occurred to me that you would question where it came from. I did not wish for you to feel indebted to me.”

  Elizabeth frowned and Darcy’s stomach sank.

  “I beg you would forgive me. You have my word that nothing of the sort will occur again.”

  Elizabeth regarded him with a serious expression. “Meaning that in future you will consult me before throwing money at my family?”

  Darcy smiled at her teasing. “I will.”

  “Very well, then. I forgive you.”

  “Thank you,” he breathed, leaning forward to press his lips against her brow. “If I had lost you over this…”

  “You will never lose me.” Pulling back, Elizabeth gave her head a clearing shake. “In truth, I still cannot understand how I have managed to regain your affections. After your behavior at the theater, I was certain you wished to have nothing more to do with me.”

  “Yes, I realize now that I should have been more precise when I introduced you to my cousin. It was never my intention to cause you any distress.”

  “I am embarrassed to admit that seeing you with Lady Margaret elicited feelings that would do me no credit to recount. But I was actually referring to your reaction to Lydia’s marriage. I could feel your censure when you spoke of it that night, and I imagined you must have been congratulating yourself on escaping any connection to my family.”

  Darcy blinked back at her. “Forgive me, but I do not understand. Why would I take issue with your sister’s marriage? From what I have observed, she and the lieutenant—nay, captain—seem very happy.”

  Elizabeth instantly paled. “So, you do not know?”

  “Know…?”

  Elizabeth looked away. “My sister’s marriage was a patched-up affair. Lydia was discovered in a compromising position and the lieutenant refused to offer for her. He was only persuaded to do so when Mr. Bingley increased my sister’s portion.” She paused. “Mr. Bingley settled five thousand pounds on Lydia to bring the marriage about. I assumed you knew.”

  Slowly, Darcy shook his head. “No. Bingley keeps his own counsel these days, as well he should. Though now I understand why you suspected that he purchased the lieutenant’s commission.”

  “There is something else. Mr. Bingley has offered to increase my own dowry, as well as that of my other sisters, by an equal sum. While Mary and Kitty may do as they please, I have already refused him. So, you should know that if you still wish to marry me, I come to you with nothing.”

  Darcy gazed back at the woman he loved, taking in the defiant tilt to her chin, and his heart swelled with pride. Reaching out his hand, he caressed Elizabeth’s cheek, tucking one loose curl behind her ear. “Elizabeth,” he whispered, “that is a gross misrepresentation. You come to me with everything.”

  Elizabeth stifled a sob and her face crumpled as Darcy folded her into his arms. “I have no need of money,” he murmured.

  After a moment she pulled away, smiling through her tears. “Yes, I know. I have it on good authority that you are worth ten thousand a year.”

  Darcy grinned. “Actually, it is closer to twelve, but that was not my meaning. What I meant was that I would gladly give it all up—Pemberley, my standing in society, and every shilling to my name—if that is what it took to secure you as my wife.”

  Elizabeth opened her mouth but Darcy lifted her chin, staring into her eyes. “Do not doubt me, Elizabeth.” When she did n
ot answer, Darcy frowned. “What is it? If there is anything else troubling you, pray, tell me. We have had too many misunderstandings already.”

  Elizabeth nodded. “I agree. And that is why I also wished to tell you… about the dream. The one I had when I was staying in your sister’s apartment.” After a moment she continued softly, “You were correct when you guessed that it was about the accident.”

  “I thought as much.”

  “It was also not the first time I’d had it.”

  Darcy’s forehead puckered and he lifted her hand, placing a kiss upon her palm before saying tenderly, “I am so sorry, my love. That something I am responsible for has made you uneasy. That you should fear for your safety, even now…”

  To Darcy’s shame, Elizabeth’s eyes filled with tears, but she was already shaking her head. “You misunderstand. My safety was never a concern. For while the dream does end in death, it is not my own… it is… yours.”

  “Mine? You dreamed I died in the accident?”

  Elizabeth responded with a jerky nod.

  “And this affected you in such a way?”

  Again, Elizabeth nodded, but this time a small sob accompanied the gesture. “I… I dreamed you were killed, and I never got to tell you…”

  “To tell me…?”

  “That I loved you.”

  Darcy’s heart exploded at her words, and despite his best intentions he slid forward, gathering Elizabeth into his embrace. “Shh… As you said, ‘twas only a dream.” Drawing back, something occurred to him and he studied her face. “You said you had had the dream before. When did you first have it?”

  “In London, directly following the accident.”

  “Elizabeth… are you saying that you had feelings for me all that time ago? That you cared for me, back in November? Why did you not say anything? When we ran into each other outside that dress shop… or when I saw you at the theater, or later at Netherfield…”

  “Surely, you are not serious? What could I say? It is not a lady’s place to tell a gentleman that she loves him. And after the way I treated you when you offered for me, those things I said…”

  Closing the space between them, Darcy pressed his forehead to hers. They stayed like that for several seconds before Darcy’s light laughter filled the chamber.

  Elizabeth pulled back. “Why are you laughing?” she demanded as Darcy attempted to smother his grin.

  “Forgive me. I just find it humorous that we seem to be particularly adept at misunderstanding one another. When we first met, I was convinced you teased me to show your regard, when in truth you despised me—”

  “I did not despise you.” A smile pulled at the corners of her mouth. “Oh, very well, I will admit I did not like you very much. But that was only because of the comments you made at the assembly when we were first introduced.” Elizabeth deepened her voice and her face took on a severe expression, “She is tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me.”

  Darcy felt the color drain from his face. “You heard. I thought you might have. Good God, no wonder you hated me.”

  Elizabeth reached up, caressing his cheek. “I did not hate you. I think even then I was drawn to you, although I was too proud and stubborn to realize it.”

  “It was unpardonable of me to have uttered such a thing aloud, let alone in public. Especially when it was completely untrue.”

  Elizabeth leaned forward. “You are forgiven,” she whispered.

  “I do not deserve you. But I am going to spend the rest of my life attempting to be worthy of you, just the same.” Moving to press a soft kiss to her cheek, Darcy stood. “Give me a moment. As you are here, there is something I wish for you to have.”

  ***

  Elizabeth watched as Darcy crossed into his bedchamber, returning a few minutes later with a flat velvet case. He resumed his seat, but sat contemplating her for some moments, the box unopened in his lap. When he finally spoke, his eyes were far away, lost in another time and place.

  “When I was a boy,” he began quietly, “my family spent several months of every year in Town. I never liked going there, mainly because there were often social obligations that took my parents away from me. But whenever they went out, my mother always came to bid me a good night, and I would admire her in her fine gowns and jewels. I thought she was the most beautiful woman in all the world.” Darcy smiled, his expression softening. “One particular evening, she and my father were on their way to a ball… I had to have been about twelve or so; Georgiana was just a babe. My mother came to see me in my chambers. She was wearing a blue silk gown embroidered with tiny rosebuds and the jewels around her neck sparkled against her skin. The necklace she wore was not as grand or as showy as some of her other pieces, but it looked beautiful on her, and I told her how much I admired it. I remember she smiled, and leaned down to kiss me on the cheek.

  “In any case, time went by, and I did not think any more about it after that. Then, one day, months after my mother’s passing, a package arrived addressed to me. Inside it was a jeweler’s box. This box.” Darcy passed the case to Elizabeth. “Pray, open it,” he continued, when Elizabeth hesitated.

  Raising the lid, Elizabeth sucked in a breath. Reaching inside, she lifted the delicate chain, examining the blush-colored jewel that sparkled in the candlelight. Surrounding the circular stone, tiny diamonds formed leaves and vines that radiated from the center, giving the impression of a flower opening to the sun.

  Next to her, Darcy spoke softly. “It is a pink sapphire. I am told the stone is quite rare.” Studying Elizabeth’s face, he added, “Of course, if it is not to your taste…”

  Elizabeth looked up, tears blurring her vision. “No! It is exquisite. But… shouldn’t this go to Georgiana?”

  “No. Georgiana has the bulk of my mother’s jewels, aside from the Darcy family heirlooms which will go to you after we are married. But this piece… actually there is a note.”

  Reaching back inside the box, Elizabeth retrieved a single sheet of paper, brittle with age. Before unfolding it, she glanced at Darcy, who nodded. Turning her attention back to the note, Elizabeth read:

  William,

  This necklace has been my most cherished possession since your father presented it to me on the eve of our wedding, and I can think of no better legacy for you to pass along to your own bride one day. Choose wisely, and I know you will be as happy in your marriage as I have been in mine.

  All my love,

  AD

  Elizabeth looked up at the man she loved. The man who would soon become her husband. “It is perfect.”

  Reaching for the jewels, Darcy slipped them around her neck. “You are the only woman I could have given this to. I have known that for quite some time.”

  Still clutching the note, Elizabeth wrapped him in her arms, kissing the edge of his jaw, and then the corner of his mouth. A deep groan reverberated in Darcy’s throat before he turned his head, capturing her lips.

  ***

  Within moments they were both gasping for air. Darcy was the first to pull away, holding Elizabeth at arm’s length as he attempted to regulate his breathing. “Oh God, Elizabeth, how I wish you were my wife already! But as you are not, I think you had better go. If you stay much longer, I am not sure I can be responsible for my actions.”

  Elizabeth stared up at him, her expression one of complete trust, and Darcy could not resist the urge to pull her soft body against his chest, kissing her hair as his hands caressed the length of her back. His fingers swept the row of buttons that ran down the bodice of her gown, and he moved to study her face.

  “How will you manage with all these buttons, now that you have sent your maid away?” he murmured, causing Elizabeth to flush.

  “With difficulty, I suppose.”

  The clock ticked as they studied one another’s eyes.

  “Turn around.”

  Elizabeth blinked.

  “Turn around,” Darcy repeated. Elizabeth hesitated before slowly doing as he bid.

&nb
sp; Darcy’s fingers grazed the nape of her neck, which was warm to his touch. Steeling his resolve, he deliberately gathered the silky material, working the long line of tiny buttons. Elizabeth shivered and Darcy stilled. When he had finally finished, neither of them moved. Then, very gradually, Darcy dipped his fingers beneath the neckline of the gown, drawing it past her collarbone and along the slope of her shoulder. Elizabeth gasped as the fabric slipped from her slim form, and Darcy’s eyes slid closed. He remained motionless, attempting to master his self-control before leaning down to feather light kisses along the curve of her body. Dear God. The feel of her flushed skin against his lips was electrifying!

  His heart began to pound with longing, and it was with great difficulty that he lifted the edge of her sleeve. Placing his hands on her shoulders, he carefully turned her back around. “There,” he rasped. “That should make things easier.”

  “Thank you.”

  Squeezing her hand, Darcy rose, pulling Elizabeth to her feet. “Come. I think it is time you returned to your bedchamber. And let us pray no one sees you in this state, or your father will be well within his rights to call me out. His consent will be the least of our worries if I do not live to see our wedding day.”

  Chapter 29

  “SO, YOU WISH to marry my daughter?” Mr. Bennet peered over the tops of his spectacles, an unfathomable expression shadowing his eyes.

  Across from him, Darcy straightened in his chair, tugging at his neckcloth. “I do.”

  “Well, I must say, this is an interesting development. You may recall that when last we spoke on this topic, you refused to even consider offering for my Lizzy. Your opinion on the matter seemed quite fixed.”

  Darcy swallowed. “Yes, I am afraid I owe you an apology for that. Although strictly speaking, you are correct, I realize now that I did not make my thoughts entirely clear. My refusal was based solely upon my belief that your daughter was already decided against me. And it was never my wish to force Miss Bennet into marriage, no matter how much I desired it.”