Barker, Plays Eight

by Howard Barker

  CREUSA: Answer –

  HELEN: You bother like a barmy wasp – you cling –

  CREUSA: Answer –

  HELEN: WHAT IS IT, JAM ON MY LIP?

  CREUSA: WHY AREN’T YOU ASHAMED OF YOUR LIFE? I INSIST YOU’RE ASHAMED OF YOUR LIFE. (Pause.) I think my cunt drips acid and if he were to enter me I’d scald the seven skins off him, WHOSE CHILD IS IT, I make a fool of myself, obviously, an utter fool, they say the ex-queen’s cracked, half her head’s turned biscuit, and then I think, a fool, so what, a fool to who? I won’t stuff hatred down, a little wire sawing away inside my gut and grin all rights, I wont! (Pause.)

  HELEN: He stands beside me.

  CREUSA: Yes.

  HELEN: And close.

  CREUSA: Go on.

  HELEN: His belly – you want to know this, do you –

  CREUSA: Yes –

  HELEN: To my arse and so – (Pause.)

  CREUSA: Go on – please – (Pause.)

  HELEN: No more.

  CREUSA: MORE. YES!

  HELEN: You want the pain. You want it…how you want…(Pause.)

  CREUSA: The hate grows on my gums at night. Thick paste of loathing. I spit it in the sink. (HOGBIN enters gaily.)

  HOGBIN: (Holding them out.) Washed our hands! (He sees CREUSA, stops. She goes out.)

  HELEN: Twelve Troys! (He goes to feed her from a bowl.) Twelve Troys and then –

  HOGBIN: Egg mayonnaise!

  HELEN: Twelve Troys and then what?

  HOGBIN: Twelve?

  HELEN: Twelve, yes. And me to suffer under every one! (Pause. He stares at her.)

  HOGBIN: (Thrusting it to her lips.) Brown bread –

  HELEN: NO BREAD!

  HOGBIN: Egg, then –

  HELEN: NO EGG!

  HOGBIN: Must eat!

  HELEN: Why eat? To live? For what? For love? Whose love?

  HOGBIN: Yer going on –

  HELEN: Your love? I HAVE NO ARMS! I WATCH, I LISTEN. HELEN HAS NINE TROYS TO SUFFER, ALL RIGHT, I EAT, ALL RIGHT, THE BREAD, THE EGG, I PERSEVERE, SHH! (He feeds her.)

  GAY: (Entering.) MUM’S TROY. The first lesson. (Pause.) I am not a mum. But I did write the lesson. (Pause.) In the first place was the ARISTOCRACY, and they were so idle they gave away their infants to others to suckle, so the infants grew up most confused regarding love, not distinguishing their mothers from their nurses or their arses from their lips, and consequently PLUNDERED THE WORLD WITH ICY HARDNESS. And after them came the DEMOCRATS, who believed life was too short for privilege, so they sent their infants into SCHOOLS to learn the way of the world, and they emerged from schools like tigers, intent on butchering the WEAK. And finally there came the LOVING MOTHERS, who kept their infants close, breathing the breath of the child and sleeping its sleep, so each single child grew up full of certainty the world loved her, which it did, to some extent. But so did all the others, LOVE’S A DRUG, YOU SEE, and they tore each other to ribbons in their jealousy! (Pause.) Unofficial verson. (A thunderous noise.)

  SCENE THREE

  SHADE, imprisoned in the woven basket, is raised by pulleys drawn by EPSOM and GUMMERY. SAVAGE watches.

  SHADE: Oh, dear, I shall get wet…! The piss of Zeus will shrink me like a garment, sodden one minute and bleached the next I LIKE IT HERE INCIDENTALLY I’ll shrivel until this little floor is vast as plains which take me days to scuttle over I ALWAYS WANTED THIS, DIDN’T YOU KNOW? My longing to be stopped – (He touches the sides.) Edge! Edge! OH, LOVELY LIMIT TO MY DREAM! Goodbye, Brian, and goodbye, Les, I shrink, you great empire builders, au revoir, I have my provinces as well, WHAT’S ROME TO A GALAXY? WHAT’S RUSSIA IN THE SUN? SPECK, BRIAN, SPECK! (He is still. GUMMERY and EPSOM leave. SAVAGE watches the basket.)

  SAVAGE: Because I was an intellectual I chose to follow thought, thought to the finish, that is the duty of one, isn’t it? The finger of thought beckoned me past the frontier post where others who had been my equals stood or waved me through, YES, YOU STAY BEHIND AND COURT YOUR ADMIRERS, oh, the teachers with their followings, the gifted with their cliques, they carve their names in wet cement to the sound of the acolyte’s giggles. DANCE ON THE SKIN OF KNOWLEDGE but don’t fall through, you’ll drop forever. (Pause.) HELEN! (Pause.) It howls here and no cunning girls of seventeen think I am fascinating, no youths can be seduced in my dim study or learn the trivial habits of depravity over set texts, KNICKERS AND KAFKA, SALIVA AND THE GREEKS! HELEN! (She enters, with HOGBIN, looks at him.)

  HELEN: Oh, my ugly lover…

  SAVAGE: Yes…

  HELEN: Oh, my shapeless adorer, would you hack my legs off also? Legless, would you desire me more?

  SAVAGE: I don’t…

  HELEN: You do know, yes, you do…

  SAVAGE: I don’t…

  HELEN: WHAT PART, THEN…! (He hides his face.) What joint or knuckle, what pared-down, shredded, particle would serve to be the point at which your love would stop, ESSENTIAL HELEN? Slithering over rocks, some slither of cheek or gum, there! Saw her! Flap of appendix in the rock pool! (He goes to reach for her.) Don’t come near me. The greater the space between us, the more I suffer. It conducts my heat. She tells me I must be ashamed. I’m unashamed. And so are you, twice the dead of Troy and I would not apologize. I have your child or maybe not, all this and unashamed. (He goes out to reach for her.) Don’t come nearer…! You will kill my ecstasy. (He stops.) They hate me in Mums’ Troy, they hate me worse than ever Shade or Fladder did, can it be true that every life is precious, can it? Mums’ Troy is babies, all the kerbs are padded and the rivers hung with nets, breasts out in the market and the endless music of their gurgles, the PREPOSTEROUS CLAIM OF LIFE –

  SAVAGE: Kiss me –

  HELEN: Your squirt, my fluid, look out, CLAIMS FROM THE MUDDY WATER! They all want their ninety years and I brought whole regiments to earth like swatted flies on wallpaper…

  SAVAGE: Kiss me –

  HELEN: THE SNAIL’S INSISTENCE ON ITS RIGHTS! (She halts him.) If I saw a baby drift by on a raft of rushes I would not lift a finger for it, though the river bubbled it to sharks or iceflows, pity, the great unending ribbon of pity, it has no end except exhaustion, I have a child in me and yet I hacked the features off dying boys, and I have watched priests visit the starving whilst eating sandwiches, but listen, the doctor must be fed! The doctor must eat even if the patient starves, that’s logical! All this logic! All this pity! Kiss me, now. Kiss me…! (He kisses her.) Your mouth would draw me in and make me vanish, a sweet in your jaw, sucked to oblivion…(They kiss.)

  HOGBIN: (Withdrawing from their embrace.) Nine Troys to go…!

  GAY: (Off.) Psst!

  HOGBIN: Wha’?

  GAY: Psst!

  HOGBIN: Where! (He stares in the dark.) Can’t see yer, here –

  GAY: (Emerging.) Got to have a baby.

  HOGBIN: Got to ‘ave a –

  GAY: You’ll do.

  HOGBIN: Me? What ‘ave you –

  GAY: (Jerking her skirt up.) Like this –

  HOGBIN: Hold on –

  GAY: WHAT FOR. (She glares at him.) New Troy’s for babies. So. (Pause.)

  HOGBIN: Look I –

  GAY: WHAT! (Pause.)

  HOGBIN: No will. And no desire. Sorry.

  GAY: Look, pregnant women get three ration books. That’s will. I got my legs open. That’s desire. Now do it.

  HOGBIN: I can’t just –

  GAY: YOU ARE INTERFERING WITH MY HAPPINESS. (Pause.) The happiness I’m entitled to, you are frustrating it.

  HOGBIN: Ask someone else.

  GAY: I have done. I just asked Homer. Homer can’t.

  HOGBIN: He can’t!

  GAY: Apparently he can’t. He wept. Absurd. And he’s been pestering me for years. (Pause. He looks away.) Really, if you were a dog, you would. Have you seen dogs? (He shakes his head.) If you don’t, I’m down the harbour. (Pause. She turns swiftly.)

  HOGBIN: Don’t do that.

  GAY: Why not? Lots of dogs down there, in sailors’ outfits, woof! (She la
ughs. Then she puts her arms round his neck. Sound of infantile wailing.)

  SCENE FOUR

  GUMMERY, EPSOM enter with babies under each arm, which they place on the ground. MACLUBY enters, passing HOGBIN, OTHERS also carrying babies. The stage rapidly fills with babies, as the carriers come and go.

  MACLUBY: The land restocked. (They gurgle. CREUSA brings two further armfuls.) The terrible regime of innocence. (And others.) Its jurisprudence.

  CREUSA: WHY FUCKING NOT.

  MACLUBY: (Shrugs.) No reason.

  CREUSA: No reason. And who wants it? Reason brought us to extinction’s edge. NO REASON IN MUMS’ TROY. (Babies are filling the stage.) We found a scientist and made him sweep the street. He swept the street but chalked formulae on kerbs. So we gave him lavatories to swab. He swabbed the lavatories but made secret drawings on the underside of seats. So we executed him. It is a sickness, curiosity.

  EPSOM: (Putting down A BABY.) ‘oo’s a little baby, then, ‘oo’s a little –

  CREUSA: You are mocking that child.

  EPSOM: Am I? Sorry.

  CREUSA: The child is your superior.

  EPSOM: Yup.

  CREUSA: A moral genius compared to you.

  EPSOM: Yup.

  CREUSA: (To GAY.) Gay, please.

  GAY: The Second Lesson of Mums’ Troy.

  CREUSA: Louder. They will be silent if you interest them. They will be attentive if you win their respect.

  GAY: Yes…(She clears her throat.) THE SECOND LESSON OF MUMS’ TROY.

  CREUSA: A baby is not a baby.

  GAY: No.

  CREUSA: It is an adult in a state of moral excitement.

  GAY: Yes.

  CREUSA: Go on.

  GAY: Innocence is not without authority! Nor does purity go unarmed! The meaningless violence of Old Troys is replaced by the liberating force of pre-articulacy – (To CREUSA.) They aren’t listening –

  CREUSA: Oh yes, they are –

  GAY: Are they?

  CREUSA: Go on –

  GAY: (Louder.) Spared language but also spared – (She turns to CREUSA in despair.) I can’t seem to make them –

  CREUSA: You are imposing oppressive notions of silence and discipline on them. They are engrossed –

  GAY: (Puzzled.) They’re –

  CREUSA: ENGROSSED. (She stamps her foot on the ground.) SHHH. (Silence. Pause.) Where’s Helen? (EPSOM looks at GUMMERY.) Fetch Helen, please. (They go out. Gurgles of contentment fill the stage. CREUSA walks up and down between THE BABIES. HELEN appears, with SAVAGE. Pause.) Helen, where’s your baby? (Pause.) Ask you again. (Pause.) Where’s your baby? (Pause. THE BABIES begin to fret.) Oh, God, they sense catastrophe… (She stamps her foot. Silence.) Helen, is your baby still alive? (Pause. THE BABIES start to cry.) Oh, they cry with horrible anticipation…!

  SAVAGE: She –

  CREUSA: SHUT UP, YOU. Helen, have you…terrible to speak this but…have you…awful but we must endure…

  SAVAGE: She is the –

  CREUSA: SHUT UP, YOU! (Pause.) Betrayed the sacred trust of motherhood…? (Pause.) Have you, my dear? (She stamps her foot. THE BABIES are still.)

  HELEN: It died.

  CREUSA: Of what?

  HELEN: Insignificance. (THE BABIES screech.)

  GUMMERY: MUR – DER!

  HELEN: You should know.

  CREUSA: You stifled innocence. You hung a cloth over its face.

  HELEN: Innocence? No, it was guilty. They all are.

  CREUSA: Of what?

  HELEN: Aborting love.

  CREUSA: (To a rage of BABIES.) They accuse! They prosecute!

  GAY: (Ignoring THE COURT, to HOGBIN.) Love you.

  HOGBIN: Wha’?

  GAY: Love you!

  HELEN: The more you sin yourselves, the more you must insist on innocence, you impose it on your infants.

  CREUSA: TO KILL YOUR OWN CHILD…

  HELEN: It would have been a killer, too, of the love I suffer for its father. I never let a child come in the way of love. You know the appetite of babies. And this one was voracious. (THE BABIES strike new notes.) Half my sons slew men they never knew, and half my daughters slept with murderers…!

  CREUSA: You stuffed a pillow on its face!

  HELEN: I was more charitable than that.

  CREUSA: How, then?

  HELEN: I did it with my breast. (THE BABIES are stunned with horror.) A breast is milk, but also, pillow…

  EPSOM: Brian, I think I will be sick…

  GUMMERY: A mother kills her – I can’t say it – with ‘er – I can’t say it –

  GAY: (To HOGBIN.) We’ll grow old together! I’ll be an old apple, and you’ll be an old pear!

  EPSOM: We should ‘ave murdered ‘er! (He comforts a nearby BABY.) Oochie, coochie, coochie… When she stood in the ruins of Old Troy – oochie, coochie! Murdered her!

  CREUSA: (Walking among THE BABIES.) Some want revenge…but others…call for clemency…

  HELEN: They hate…

  CREUSA: Not hate…

  HELEN: Hate, wordlessly. What they would not give for a word! And we, who have words, scream…

  CREUSA: Call for clemency, from there… (She indicates A BABY.) He argues…

  EPSOM: It’s a she.

  CREUSA: She persuades. She is most effective. And they (She indicates all THE OTHERS.) agree! Your plea –

  HELEN: I made no plea –

  CREUSA: Your plea finds sympathy! I am so happy for you! (Pause.) But at the same time – our disapproval must be registered. The act may be forgiven, but it must be marked… (Pause. She walks among THE BABIES.) How quiet they are, not vindictive, but melancholy, philosophical…

  HELEN: Oh, listen…the prelude to my pain…

  SAVAGE: Helen!

  HELEN: The gulf of imagination yawns…

  SAVAGE: Helen! (Pause. CREUSA moves silently among THE BABIES. Stops. Pause.)

  CREUSA: They ask…in all humility…for him who suffers most…to choose… (She looks at SAVAGE. HELEN lets out a terrible laugh. Pause.)

  HOGBIN: Hold it…

  CREUSA: Shut up…

  HOGBIN: Not ‘im, not ‘im, ‘e’s –

  HELEN: (To HOGBIN.) YOU STIFLE HIM. HIS MIND. ITS DREAM. YOU TRAMPLE HIM. (Pause.)

  SAVAGE: They say… (Pause.) If I interpret them… (Pause.) You have failed to be a mother, and therefore should not look like one… (THE BABIES screech.) I SAID IT! I SAID IT!

  CREUSA: (To EPSOM, GUMMERY.) Out – quick – and do it!

  HELEN: Oh, I’ll be good! Oh, this time, promise! I’ll be good!

  HOGBIN: (To SAVAGE.) MANIAC!

  SAVAGE: Don’t you want to know! Oh, don’t you WANT!

  HOGBIN: Helen! (EPSOM and GUMMERY lead HELEN away.)

  SAVAGE: You want to save her. But she can’t be saved. I KNOW WHAT HELEN IS. (HOGBIN hurries after.) She could have reared the child in a garden. She could have stayed in Greece. ALWAYS THE POSSIBILITY OF SILENT LIFE BUT… (He walks through THE BABIES.) And he throws his pity at her, like confetti in a hurricane…

  CREUSA: You know too much.

  SAVAGE: Yes.

  CREUSA: DO YOU KNOW YOU CAN KNOW TOO MUCH.

  SAVAGE: Yes. I know even that. (Pause. THE BABIES begin complaining.)

  CREUSA: (To THE ADULTS.) Clear them out. (THE ADULTS collect up the bundles and carry them away. SAVAGE sees MACLUBY.)

  SAVAGE: How many selves have we got, MacLuby? (MACLUBY looks at him.) Old self, grab it, can we? Old self off the shelf? (He stops.) Show us an old self, MacLuby!

  MACLUBY: Trembling…

  SAVAGE: Yes…

  MACLUBY: Shuddering…

  SAVAGE: Yes, but not with horror! How you would love that!

  MACLUBY: Me? No.

  SAVAGE: How philistine and trite! My grappling with conscience, my submission and supine apology, suicide from a borrowed rope, no. (MACLUBY shrugs, sets off.) Show us an old self. (He stops.)

  MACLUBY: Wants to reach into the wardrobe –

  SAVAGE:
Yes –

  MACLUBY: Take an old self off the hanger –

  SAVAGE: Yes –

  MACLUBY: Blow the dust off and –

  SAVAGE: Why not? How else can I see if I’ve travelled? (Pause. SAVAGE’s SON enters. They stare at one another.)

  BOY: (Tossing a bar of soap.) Ashes of roses… (Pause.)

  SAVAGE: What…?

  BOY: Ashes of roses… (Pause.)

  SAVAGE: Good… (CREUSA enters, gesticulating wildly to EPSOM and GUMMERY.)

  CREUSA: He said –

  EPSOM: We ‘eard what he said –

  CREUSA: HE SAID – SHE WAS NOT A MOTHER –

  GUMMERY: We –

  CREUSA: LISTEN – EXACT WORDS – THEREFORE SHE SHOULD NOT LOOK LIKE ONE –

  EPSOM: She doesn’t –

  CREUSA: WHAT!

  EPSOM: She doesn’t look like one. (Pause of exasperated disbelief. To GUMMERY.) Does she? (GUMMERY shakes his head.)

  CREUSA: What’s a mother got?

  EPSOM: What’s a –

  CREUSA: YES, WHAT? (They stare at one another in bewilderment. CREUSA tears open her garment.) IT’S BREASTS SHE’S GOT! (Pause.)

  EPSOM: (At the point.) We’ll go back and – (CREUSA catches sight of THE BOY, standing. She stares at him. Pause.) Shall we? (She goes to him, smells his hair, his skin. Pause. She sits on the ground.) Go back and – (She does not reply. A wind grows from a whisper.)

  SCENE FIVE

  HOGBIN enters with a dish on a pole, which he extends to the cage. He waits. He grows impatient.