Guarding Hearts

by Jaycie Morrison

  Bett leaned toward her. “Please give Kathleen our thanks for a lovely evening, and the best possible start to 1945.”

  Whit nodded. “Happy New Year, you two.”

  “Same to the both of you, Whit,” Bett answered, giving her an extra hug.

  It seemed cooler than usual when they got home. They’d become accustomed to keeping the heat set lower, but because they were going out, Rain had not made a fire. Now she started to gather some wood, but Bett caught her hands. “Let’s get in bed and talk,” she said, believing her remarks might be better received there.

  Rain was under the covers in very little time. Bett took longer, taking off her makeup, hanging her dress carefully and putting the protective cover back on it. By the time she got into bed, Rain was a warm island that she swam eagerly across the cold sheets on her side of the bed to reach. “God, you feel good,” Bett said, snuggling in. Rain was quiet, taking Bett in her arms and warming her with her hands. She felt Bett’s body relax as their temperatures merged. Another moment later, she sighed. “Rain?”

  “Mmm?”

  “What are you thinking?”

  Rain turned enough to look at her. “I am thinking how much I love you, Bett. How I love living with you. How I love coming to this house every day and getting into this bed with you every night. You and this place are truly my heart’s home.”

  Bett hid her face in Rain’s shoulder as she tried to squeeze in a little closer. “I already gave you your ten points, Lieutenant. There’s no need for you to be so wonderful.”

  “But there’s something else I need to tell you,” Rain went on.

  There was some tension in her voice as she pulled back slightly, and Bett met her eyes. “Is it about Kathleen kissing you?” She felt Rain stiffen slightly.

  “Yes. But how—?”

  “I was in the hallway looking for you and I saw her kiss you. I could tell by your reaction that you were completely surprised. Then I just went back into the office to wait.” She smiled at the idea that she was one up on Rain for a change. “I’m not going to say, ‘I told you so,’ but I assume the question of her attraction to you is settled now.”

  Rain wasn’t sure how to reply. The answer had to be yes, but it seemed like there might be more to it than that. After a time, she said, “Kathleen had been drinking. She told me it didn’t mean anything. That we were both happy in our relationships and that we would continue as friends like before. Do you suppose that is possible?”

  “How does it feel to you, Beloved?” Bett asked.

  “In my mind, they need our support now, and we need to ensure they both feel our friendship. I think the strangeness I feel now will wear off, especially once I talk more with Whit.”

  “I believe you’re right,” Bett agreed. She put her hand on Rain’s face. “And I can’t tell you how good it makes me feel that you told me about this. How good it makes me feel to be with someone as honest and true as you are. How much I love you for exactly who you are.”

  Rain smiled for the first time since they had gotten in bed. “I think you have earned your ten points too.”

  Bett snuggled up as close as she could get, sighing. “Good. Then I think I’m ready for you to tell me about your meeting with Colonel Issacson.”

  * * *

  She’d seen that kiss. And sure, there was lots of kissing on New Year’s Eve, most of it harmless enough. But was this? Kat was asleep and Whit was glad. It was obvious that she needed it, and perhaps at least some of her erratic behavior over the last several days could be traced to the incident she’d finally admitted had taken place with Miriam Boudreaux. But was that all? She couldn’t shake the feeling that Kat hadn’t been totally and completely honest with her. And as much as she hated Boudreaux now, she couldn’t stop hearing her words about Kat and Gale Rains.

  There was a simple way to deal with both her problems, she knew. Boudreaux was most likely on her way out already, and based what she’d said following that earlier dinner party, the odds were pretty good that she’d be determined to take Gale Rains with her. Colonel Issacson might want to fight it, but all Whit would have to do would be put another word or two in the right place and they’d both be history. Piece of cake. And impossible for anyone else, like Bett or Kat, to know where the final dagger had come from.

  The other way would be much harder. She still needed to get rid of Boudreaux, but she also needed to figure out a way to shake Kat out of whatever funk she was in. There had to be some gesture that would make her realize what she was risking. The hard part would be, what if she didn’t? What if Kat was too far gone to realize what a good thing they had, and their relationship didn’t right itself? Whit could be taking a big chance on losing what she had now, but what was that exactly? A woman who was distant and distracted and who showed very little interest in her or in maintaining their relationship. Not the woman she fell in love with, and not the woman who supposedly loved her.

  A week ago, in the wee small hours of the night, her desperation had reached a point where she’d found herself writing a letter to Rachel Milligan. After the usual niceties, it had quickly become surprisingly confessional, which was very much unlike her. She talked at length of Kathleen and her worries about their relationship. Toward the end, she’d even asked for Rachel’s advice before she signed it. As she read back over her words, Whit seriously considered throwing the whole thing away. Rachel doesn’t want to hear this shit, she told herself, moving toward the trash can, before another thought stopped her. But who else can I talk to? Her medic buddies were fun, but she couldn’t possibly share intimate details of her life with them, especially not now. Not many of their party friends were particularly deep thinkers either, and as much as she liked Bett and Gale, was she really at a point with them where she could pour out her heart? No, Rachel was the only one, other than Kathleen, that she’d ever been that close with. The worst that could happen was Rachel wouldn’t answer and she’d know for sure they were done. And Kathleen would remain her private dilemma.

  Whit jumped when the phone rang and grabbed it quickly, surprised at the person who spoke. “Hello, Whit, it’s Gale Rains. Last night I meant to ask if you’d gotten the MP list yet.” Before she could answer, Rains cleared her throat. “Excuse me. I meant to say, ‘How are you?’ first.”

  Whit couldn’t help smiling, certain those instructions had come from Bett. Rains might outrank her lover on the base, but it was pretty obvious who wore the pants in their home. “It’s okay, Gale. Yeah, I got it on my last night of work. Told the guy on duty there was some kind of rash going around the MP quarters and I needed to make sure these guys had been checked.” Whit added a short, angry sounding laugh. “You should have seen his face.”

  “Did you speak with Miriam?”

  “No,” Whit said through clenched teeth. “And I’ll be happy if I never talk to that bitch again.”

  Rains paused for a moment, and Whit knew she’d caught the change. Since she’d always been the one to stick up for Miriam before, it would be obvious something must have happened.

  “We’d like to talk with you about the list and perhaps plan a way to speak with Sara about possibly meeting with Boudreaux. Can you come for dinner?”

  “I’m working tonight, damn it. I got New Year’s Eve off, but I’m still on nights. I’m sure Kathleen could come, though. I’ll ask her when she wakes up.” Thinking of Miriam again made her work to keep the anger from her voice. She was going to make her good and sorry she’d ever messed with someone else’s woman. With her sweet Kitty. She took a few seconds before adding, “It will do Kat good to be with you. With both of you.”

  There was another pause before Rains asked, “Have you thought any more about how we might…uh…influence Boudreaux before her hearing?”

  “Yep,” Whit said sharply, realizing her mind was already made up. “And I’m going to start working real hard on that, believe you me.” Before Rain could reply, Whit added, “In fact, I need to get going. I’ll talk to you lat
er, okay?”

  She disconnected without saying goodbye. Sighing, she walked slowly around their house, looking at all the little touches that made it a home. Then she went back into the kitchen and started a note for Kathleen, working it out in her head as she wrote.

  * * *

  Rain only knew one other White person who didn’t say goodbye, so she reviewed the conversation for a moment, trying to decide if she might have said anything to offend Whit. Then she did what she’d begun doing whenever she needed help to understand something. She called Bett, who was making up for her time off by working New Year’s Day at cryptography. Everything worrisome dropped away from her heart the moment Bett answered. “How can you make my world better with only the word ‘hello’?” Rain asked.

  “I bet I can think of other words to use that might have an even better effect,” Bett answered softly.

  “I have no doubt of that.” Rain shifted her tone a bit. It wouldn’t do for her to let her thoughts go that way when she too was at work. She had given most of the staff the day off but intended to finish the last bit of year-end paperwork, since she saw no point in being at home without Bett. “Beloved, Whit is working, but I’m inviting Kathleen for dinner tonight. We have some things to discuss.”

  She was grateful Bett readily agreed. “But please be careful, Rain,” Bett urged. “Boudreaux’s MP goons may come after you too.”

  Rain hung up, but she considered Bett’s words as she finished her work. It was almost fully dark when she went outside and looked at the sky. The stars were obscured by clouds. Raining in the morning, she thought, and decided to take a jeep home instead of riding Red Cloud. As she drove out of the base, she noticed another jeep pulling out behind her. She drove to the grocery store, even though it was closed, and pulled into the parking lot, stopping close to the front door. The other jeep went by without even slowing down. You are overreacting, she told herself, but when she pulled away from the store, lights came on behind her again. She drove past the turn to their street and kept going, circling back through town. The lights stayed farther back, but she could see them. She stopped at Mel’s, though there was a Closed sign on the door. She knocked, using the sequence known only to special guests.

  Mel greeted her at the door. “Well, hello there! You gonna join us for family dinner tonight?” One look at Rain’s face and his jovial tone changed. “What’s the matter, Rainy?”

  “I can’t tell you everything right now, Mel, but someone is following me. Can you or Gracie take me home? I’ll come get the jeep in the morning.”

  Leaving by the back door, they arrived at Rain’s house twenty minutes later, with no sign of lights behind them. At Gracie’s gentle questioning, Rain had given her some vague ideas about their trouble but stressed that the situation was still developing and she couldn’t say much more. “You’d don’t have to tell me everything, Rainy.” Gracie patted her leg. “Just promise me that you’ll be careful. And take care of your little friend too.”

  “You have my word on that,” Rain promised, standing outside with the car door open. “Don’t touch the jeep. I’ll come get it early tomorrow. And I want you to be very careful too, you and Mel, with any strangers who come into the restaurant.”

  Gracie nodded. “I’ll tell you if anything like that happens when I see you tomorrow.” She drove off before Rain could protest.

  Kathleen was already at their house. She and Bett were drinking wine. Rain hoped it was their first glass, as she wanted clear heads for their discussion. It quickly became clear that it wasn’t. She’d heard their joined laughter from the moment she’d entered the hallway, and they both had giddy, girlish sounds to their voices. Bett kissed her warmly, and Rain wondered if the few extra seconds of Bett’s lips were for Kathleen’s benefit. She started dinner and went to change as Bett and Kathleen were giggling again as they talked about Whit’s New Year’s resolution to break her habit of cursing.

  “I bet when I ask her how she’s doing, she’ll say, ‘It’s real fucking hard, Kat.’” Rain heard Kathleen say the last part in her Whit impersonation.

  “Obviously,” Bett answered, and they giggled some more. Then Bett’s voice dropped, and when Rain came back out in her jeans, they were both sitting totally motionless with very serious expressions.

  “What?” she asked, and they both began laughing again. Rain hid her frown as she turned away and went into the kitchen. Rich girls, she thought. They can afford to laugh, to not worry about our situation. She banged a pot getting it out of the cabinet.

  Bett put her finger to her lips to shush Kathleen and asked, “What took you so long to get home, Beloved?”

  Rain said nothing at first. Kathleen looked at Bett, who shook her head and gestured, Wait.

  With her back to them Rain finally answered, “I was followed leaving the base. Instead of coming directly home, I went to Mel’s and left the jeep there to throw them off my trail. Gracie brought me home.”

  “My God, Gale, are you sure?” Kathleen asked before Bett could react. When she heard the words come out, Bett knew Rain would be insulted at being questioned. It hadn’t taken her long to learn that no matter what Rain said or did, it was one hundred percent genuine and there was no need to ask anything more. Even phrases that came innocently in conversation, like “really?” were interpreted by Rain to be questioning her veracity. Bett had stopped using such language, but now she noticed how most people make such remarks without even considering about what they truly implied.

  Rain turned slowly. “Yes, Kathleen, I am sure.” Her tone was very calm, but Bett could hear the underlying resentment. “I understand how to watch lights behind me as I learned how to watch shadows in the woods. I recognize when enemies are working against me and I can measure the intentions of those who are not yet friends. And I know when a meeting is a meeting and not a party.” She took a step toward them, her face darkening. “I’m disappointed that I need to tell you this, but we need to talk seriously, Kathleen, and to plan our next steps to avoid losing a life that is very important to all of us. Will being less than clearheaded affect what you say now or will you remember everything tomorrow?”

  Kathleen lowered her head. After a few seconds she began sobbing. “I’m sorry. I should go,” she managed to choke out.

  Rain’s expression transformed from irritation to shock. She took a step toward them but paused when Bett gave her a look before wrapping her arms around Kathleen. “Tell us, sweetie,” she said softly. “Tell us what’s wrong.” Half an hour later, they’d heard most of the story of Boudreaux’s behavior, along with Kat’s worry about Whit’s reaction. “I didn’t tell her right away because…I guess because I was still in shock.” She shook her head, her eyes full of self-recrimination. “When I finally did, I was trying to censor myself, but once I started talking it all poured out. Whit was furious, Bett. I’ve never seen her like that.” She dabbed at her eyes with a tissue she’d pulled out of her purse. “And then we had to get ready for the party, so we didn’t really have time to work through it. I’m sure she feels betrayed by her friend Miriam. And possibly by me, as well. I hope—I just hope…”

  She broke down again and Rain squatted beside her. Her voice was gentle. “You hope she doesn’t think you did or said something to make it seem like you wanted that kind of attention from Boudreaux.”

  Kat nodded, taking a shuddering breath. “We’ve been going through a shaky patch lately, which has been all my fault. Whit has always been very tolerant and amazingly sweet with me, but I’m afraid she’s run out of patience this time.” She bit her lip, looking from Bett to Rain, fresh tears forming. “When I got home this evening, I found a note saying she’s staying on base until we can get it all figured out.” The tears spilled over and ran down her face. “I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what she’ll do. With Miriam’s hearing tomorrow, I just…”

  As Kathleen trailed off, Rain stood, thinking of the pain she’d seen in Whit’s eyes at the New Year’s party. Looking at Bett
, she asked, “Should I go to the medic’s office and speak to her?”

  Bett shook her head but spoke to Kat. “I’m sure she’ll be home soon, don’t you? Probably she’ll…what do you think? Stew about it at work, maybe, but she’ll want to see you after the hearing. She’ll need to talk to you at least, to make sure you’re all right.”

  “Do you really think so?” Kat asked, her eyes searching Bett’s. When Bett nodded, Kathleen turned to Rain. “Is that what you would do? If Bett told you about how someone else treated her and you’d gotten really mad and left, would you come back?”

  Rain’s dark eyes swirled with emotion. Her lover was remembering the night she’d revealed the truth about her marriage, Bett was certain. “I will always come back,” she answered, and Bett smiled at her, mouthing the words thank you. When Rain took her hand and kissed it, Bett saw something like resignation flicker across Kathleen Hartley’s face.

  Kat wiped at her face again. “Then I should go home.” She stood but Rain touched her shoulder before she could move away.

  “Please. Eat first. We have plenty, and you’ve been dealing with very draining emotions. Food will help.”

  Kat looked to Bett. “Would that really be all right?”

  Bett stood too and put her arm around Kathleen’s waist. “Of course. We want you here.” She looked meaningfully at Rain as she began walking toward the dining room. “There will be no more business tonight.” Her lover hastily nodded her agreement. “And along with dinner, we’ll have one more glass of wine to settle your nerves and then send you on your way. Whit knew you were coming here, didn’t she?” When Kat nodded, she added, “So maybe she’ll call later, just to make sure you made it home all right. Or maybe you could call her and tell her that.”

  “What a good idea,” Kat mused. “Thank you.” She looked back at Rain. “Thank you both. I’m sorry I’m such a mess.”