Widow's Secrets

by Shelley Shepard Gray

  “Thanks, Dad.” He didn’t even try to hide how relieved he felt.

  “Don’t thank me yet. I don’t know if I can be much help after all this time.” He paused. Kent could see him thinking hard. “Give me a couple of days to reach out to some guys,” he said in a quiet voice. “I had a contact who I got along with okay. I did him a favor once. I doubt he’s already forgotten that.”

  Kent looked at him curiously. “It must have been some favor.”

  “His wife was real sick. She needed to see a specialist and eventually had surgery. I called in a bunch of favors and made sure everyone treated her right. I would’ve done it for anyone, but he might see it as owing me. It’s worth a try, right?”

  Kent nodded. “Thanks again. I really appreciate it.”

  He shrugged off Kent’s words once more. “You ready for dinner?”

  “Always.”

  As they walked out of his den, his father placed a hand on his shoulder. “Just to warn you, your mother met a sweet young paralegal a couple of days ago. She’s smitten with her.”

  Apprehension settled in. “How smitten?”

  “Your mother knows that Danielle is single, twenty-four and likes to run.”

  “And let me guess... Mom is sure that Danielle and I would get along great?”

  “Absolutely.”

  “Dad, I hope you haven’t been encouraging her.”

  “I haven’t, but we both know she doesn’t need any encouragement from me. Your mother might be getting older but she’s still the same lady she’s always been. She likes to meddle.”

  Kent grinned. He sure couldn’t argue with that.

  Chapter Ten

  “I learned something new about you,” Angel said to Liana with a smirk on Monday. “Girl, I had no idea you were so full of secrets.”

  They were cleaning up after a long night. Liana’s feet hurt, her back ached and she’d gone from dreaming about eating one of Gabe’s chicken fried steak suppers to simply longing for a hot bath and a cup of tea.

  She was in no mood for one of Angel’s guessing games...especially since it was about her. “I’m not up for your teasing tonight, Angel. I’m whipped.”

  “Sorry. I’ve got energy to spare.”

  Liana knew the girl was telling the truth. Her eyes were bright, she had a bounce to her step and all day she’d been wearing a chipper smile. “How come you’re so peppy, anyway?”

  “I have a date tonight.”

  “Oh boy.” Liana glanced at Viv, who had been carefully refilling and wiping down salt and pepper shakers. Viv raised her eyebrows, which pretty much signified that she was thinking the same thing Liana was. That Angel picked the world’s worst men to date. Always.

  “Don’t talk that way, Li,” Angel retorted. “And don’t think your silence means squat, Viv. I saw your expression and I know what it’s supposed to mean. But this guy is different.”

  Viv shook her head in mock aggravation. “That’s what you always say, dear. You’re the queen of saying that the new guy you’re seeing is different.” She lowered her voice. “But they never are.”

  Liana kept her eyes averted and her mouth shut.

  “I mean it. Sergio is dreamy and he has a job.”

  “That is impressive,” Viv said.

  Liana knew she wasn’t being sarcastic, either. Some of the guys Angel saw seemed to make a good living off everyone in their perimeter.

  “What does he do?”

  “He works for the county.” She paused. “He’s a sanitation worker.”

  “Sanitation...wait, he’s a garbage man?” Liana asked.

  “He is.” Angel lifted her chin. “Don’t knock it, either,” she said with a bit of fire in her voice. “It’s an important profession. An essential one.”

  “I didn’t say it wasn’t,” Liana replied. “Honestly, that’s great that you found someone decent.” Seeing that Angel looked like she needed a little pep talk, she added, “If everything works out with him, that would be fantastic. I’m really happy for you.”

  “Really?”

  “Of course. You deserve to be happy. I hope he treats you like a princess...or at least is nice to you.”

  “He’s been really nice. So far it’s all great. I just hope it continues.” Angel’s shoulders slumped. “I just want someone who actually does what he says he’s going to, you know? I’m so sick of being stood up or lied to.”

  She knew that experience too well. “You deserve better, for sure.”

  “We both do.” She grinned. “But at least it’s already happening for you.”

  “Why do you say that?”

  “You know. Mr. tall, dark and detective.”

  “Officer Olson?”

  “The one and only.”

  “Oh, please. We’re not dating.”

  “If you aren’t, you should be, and soon. We all saw how he’s been looking at you.”

  What could she say to that? That he likely only wanted her because she could help him get out of the cold-case basement? That the only reason she was cooperating with him was because she needed to find some closure with Billy? “There’s a lot going on between the two of us that you don’t know about.”

  Angel eyed her with concern. “Do you want to share?”

  “Not really.”

  Hating how hurt Angel looked—and at her own inability to open up about her past—Liana said, “Look, it’s not personal. I mean, it doesn’t have anything to do with you. It’s about my past and my husband. Billy. I’d tell you more but I really don’t like to talk about him.”

  “I know you weren’t happy when y’all were married.”

  “You’re right. I wasn’t. But you know, I don’t think he was, either. Our relationship wasn’t the problem with him, but it sure didn’t help.” She frowned. It was the first time she’d ever actually thought about his feelings for her.

  To her shame, Liana realized that over the past couple of years, she’d pigeon-holed her marriage into something that wasn’t quite accurate. In her mind she’d been the good person who was always right and he’d been the bad person who was always wrong.

  Yes, Billy had abused her and treated her terribly. But now, looking back on those days, she could honestly say that she wished she hadn’t lied to so many people about what was happening. Over and over different people in her life had encouraged her to speak about her bruises. More than one person had promised to help her move someplace safe. But she’d been so ashamed that she’d rebuffed their offers of help.

  Now, though, she realized they’d needed each other’s weaknesses in order for their marriage to thrive. Or...perhaps it was the other way around. Their combined faults allowed their relationship to disintegrate.

  Returning to the present, Liana said, “Kent, I mean Officer Olson, is probably not my prince charming, but I don’t really need one. At least not anymore.”

  Viv walked over. “I should say not, now that you’re a famous artist and all.”

  She was so shocked, she couldn’t even think of a word to say. She merely gaped at them both.

  Angel giggled. “Come on. You didn’t think you were going to keep your other life a secret, did you?”

  “I wasn’t keeping it a secret.”

  Viv popped a hip out and placed a hand on it. “No? You were just...what? Thinking we wouldn’t be happy for you?”

  “I don’t know. I started painting as my release. As a way I could express myself when I was so frustrated when Billy went missing and the cops kept questioning me and I didn’t have the answers they wanted.”

  She paused, trying to convey how confused she’d been but also how used to keeping everything she was thinking deep inside her, like a locked vault.

  “I never thought anything would come of it. But then one day I realized I had like twenty paintings propped all over
the walls of my house and I didn’t know what I was going to do with them. So I decided to put them on eBay.”

  “Let me guess. They sold in a heartbeat,” Viv said.

  “No, but they did sell pretty fast.” Though she was a little embarrassed to tell her story, feeling like it was close to bragging, it still felt good to talk about the experience. “I couldn’t believe it.”

  “What did you do with all your money?” Angel asked.

  “I didn’t make that much. I honestly hadn’t thought anyone would want them so I hadn’t put up much of a price. But to answer your question, I went out and bought some more canvases and paint.” Smiling at the memory, she added, “Then I painted some more.”

  “You’re practically a celebrity,” Viv teased. “I had no idea you were so famous.”

  “I’m not. But a gallery owner bought some of my paintings, and when she offered to pick them up from me I agreed because I didn’t want to pay the shipping, and we started talking. Next thing I knew, she was buying even more and selling them in her gallery for a whole lot more than I ever imagined.”

  Angel nodded. “And the rest is history.”

  Liana shrugged. “I guess it is.”

  “None of us had any idea about it, either,” Viv said.

  “Maybe that’s good,” Angel added. “I mean, I would’ve told someone.”

  “Or ten someones.” Viv winked.

  Wanting them both to see that she hadn’t meant to exclude them from her life, that it had gotten bigger than she’d ever imagined, she added, “I wasn’t keeping this a secret from you two on purpose. I just...well, I guess painting is a part of me that I don’t know how to share.” Realizing that didn’t exactly convey what she meant, she groaned. “Sorry, that still didn’t sound too good.”

  “You don’t need to explain it any more. I get it,” Viv said. “You didn’t talk it up because this painting of yours is special to you. It means something,” Viv said.

  “Yes.” She couldn’t have described it any better. It really did mean something to her. She was vulnerable where it was concerned. “I don’t expect everyone to like what I paint, but I’m not really good at criticism.” She shrugged. “I don’t know why.” Something occurred to her then. “How did you find out about it?”

  “I saw the ad in Cincinnati Magazine when I was waiting at the dentist.”

  “It had my name?”

  “It did. And a hazy picture of you.” She frowned. “You looked a little odd—almost like you had a pile of makeup on your face. But it was you, all right.”

  “That picture has been the bane of my existence. I didn’t know Serena put it in a magazine.” She frowned. “I wish she would’ve told me she was going to put my picture out.”

  “I’m glad she didn’t ask your permission,” Angel said. “If she had, you would’ve said no and then we’d still be talking about you and wondering what you did on your days off.”

  Liana figured she should probably be irritated at them gossiping about her, but she couldn’t really blame them. It was normal to talk about people one spent forty hours a week with. “Well, now you know.”

  “Gabe and I were saying that we might go to that fancy-pants gallery and get our picture taken with you and one of your paintings. We’re free on June eighth.”

  “June eighth?”

  “Uh, yeah. That’s the night of your big show, Liana.”

  “Oh. Well, don’t go to the gallery. I mean, don’t go if you want to see me there, I mean.”

  “Because?”

  “Because I’m not going.”

  Viv frowned. “Why not?”

  “I never go to the shows.”

  “How come?” Angel pressed.

  “I don’t belong in that world. People are going to want me to talk about my work and I’m not going to be able to say much other than I liked painting the canvases. It would be awful.”

  “Maybe it won’t be like that,” Viv said. “You won’t know if you don’t try.”

  Feeling awkward, Liana said, “I appreciate your words, but the problem is that I don’t think I’m ready to try. Not yet, anyway.” Hating the way her friends looked so disappointed, she added, “But y’all are welcome to come to my house and see the paintings there anytime. I mean, if you want.”

  “I want,” Viv said.

  “Me, too,” Angel said. She clapped her hands together. “We’ll have a party or something.”

  “You two are too much.” She knew she was blushing, but she was really gratified. They’d made her feel good. Proud, almost.

  “Anytime you want, come over, though you might want to call or text me first. I don’t always hear the doorbell.”

  “It’s going to be soon, chickadee,” Viv said. “I can’t wait to see your work.”

  “Viv, I want out of here!” Gabe called out. “We’ve been going strong since five this morning. Stop chatting!”

  “I think Gabe’s had enough for one day,” Viv said with a chuckle. Looking around the dining area, Viv added, “Things around here look good enough. Anything we missed can be fixed in the morning. Let’s go home, girls. We’ve got things to do.”

  “That’s right,” Angel added. “I’ve got a hot date with a garbage man and you, Liana...well, you’ve got your paintings.”

  Liana chuckled. “I sure do.” But right at that moment she wasn’t looking forward to them at all. Instead, she was wishing she had someone waiting to see her, too. Coming home to an empty house wasn’t all that comforting.

  Maybe it never had been.

  As she started her car thirty minutes later, Liana realized Angel was right. They both deserved good relationships.

  One day, she hoped she would actually have one.

  Chapter Eleven

  “It’s hard to believe we’ve never gone on calls together,” Kent’s dad said. “Don’t know why.”

  He did. All his life, Kent had known his father was one of the best cops in the police department. Men and women in the department had told him so during barbecues, picnics and even the occasional funeral. No matter what the occasion, one or two officers would take the time to tell him how amazing his father was.

  And that had been nothing compared to the things he’d heard about his dad at the academy. More than one instructor had told him that he would never measure up.

  Kent had been proud of his father. So proud. But his father’s reputation had been daunting. Following in those footsteps hadn’t just been hard, it had felt like he was swimming in them. Over time, instead of becoming more humble, he’d developed a persona to combat almost any naysayer. He’d thought it would cover up his lack of experience, make his fellow officers take less notice of his mistakes. But the only person he’d been fooling had been himself.

  “I know why,” he finally said as he took the exit off 32 and headed east. “I was trying so hard to prove myself, I forgot that I still had a lot to learn.”

  “I know you think you should’ve done something differently, but I think you need to give yourself a break. The past is in the past. Accept it, make peace with it and move on.”

  “If I hadn’t been so full of myself, I could’ve made a lot less mistakes.”

  His father chuckled softly. “So you wish.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” He was feeling mildly irritated. Here he was, trying to be completely honest about his faults, and his dad looked like he was about to burst out laughing.

  “It means that everyone makes mistakes, Kent. Everyone comes to this job with chips on their shoulders about something. And by the time they’re my age, they have regrets about all sorts of things.” He grunted. “Lots of things.”

  “Even you?”

  “Especially me.” He grinned at his son. “I didn’t get so awesome overnight, you know.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind.”

/>   “I hope you will.” Sobering, Dad added, “Now that I’m close to retirement, I have the luxury of being able to look back. I’ve learned some things.”

  “Such as?”

  “Such as God doesn’t make mistakes.”

  That was the last thing Kent expected him to say. His father was a faithful man; he knew that without a doubt. But he’d never heard him say something like that in the middle of a workday. “I know God doesn’t make mistakes, but we’re talking about plain old men and women, right?”

  “No, we’re talking about regular folks doing stupid stuff and learning from their mistakes. The Lord gives us those opportunities, Kent. He puts obstacles in our life to stumble over or trip on so we don’t stumble and trip for the rest of our lives.”

  “I know I won’t ever turn in evidence without double-checking everything again.”

  “Every person in the department has their issue. I promise you that. Even Crier.”

  He decided not to comment on that. Sergeant Crier was Kent’s boss now in cold case world. Everyone in the precinct gave him a wide berth, since he seemed to always be in a grumpy mood. Kent respected him—no one who knew about Sergeant Crier’s success in closing cold cases wouldn’t respect him. But even so, Kent was looking forward to the day when he wasn’t sharing a room with him in the basement.

  Looking out the window at the houses that were starting to appear—each one more run-down and out of hope than the next—he frowned. “This looks familiar.

  “I heard two of the men you used to deal with have set up shop around here.”

  “We’ll see if anyone is around. It might take a while.”

  “I know.” Kent pulled into a parking lot of a youth center next to a run-down park. Two women with toddlers were next to the playground. A group of teenagers played basketball on a court on the other side.

  When he and his father got out of the 4Runner, one of the boys looked over at them and scowled. He muttered and nudged one of his buddies. Kent noticed then that one of the players was older and seemed to be in charge. After he said something to them all, the teens started playing ball again.