Widow's Secrets

by Shelley Shepard Gray

  He stared at her, then smiled slowly. “I know that when we had coffee together there was something between us that had nothing to do with work. I want to explore it. But I’m not going to hide the fact that I’m working on your husband’s cold case.”

  He’d spoken kindly, and his tone had been gentle. But he was also being completely honest and not hiding his determination to solve the case. “You’re not going to let me stay in the dark anymore, are you?”

  “No, I’m not.” He swallowed, then said, “Don’t take it personally, Liana. I realize that talking about your husband isn’t easy. But we also can’t ignore that I fully intend to charge someone for Billy’s murder. I need your help and I need your perspective. I’m not going to let you hide things on purpose like you did with Officer Grune and Detective Evans. If you continue to hold back, it could jeopardize the outcome.”

  “I see.” Even though his words made sense, she felt betrayed.

  He still looked worried. Twin lines had appeared in between his brows. “Does that mean you understand?”

  Deciding to be honest, as well, she said, “Not exactly. It means that I understand there’s not a lot I can do right now. I wish there was.”

  He reached out for her hand. “You could hold my hand. You could try to trust me.”

  She linked her fingers through his. Smiled, too.

  But all she could think was that he was going to have to trust her one day. She was going to have to try to trust him, too. However, Liana wondered if that was even possible. Would they ever be able to overcome all the odds against them to move forward?

  She just wasn’t sure.

  Chapter Thirteen

  “How’s it going down in cold case world, Kent?” Jackson asked as they started their sixth lap jogging around the high school track.

  He and Jackson used to be pretty good friends, though they’d had less and less in common over the past year. Jackson had been in the rookie class right behind him and had entered the force with the intention of making a name for himself—and it didn’t seem like he had any regard for whose back or hard work he stepped on in order to make it happen.

  As full of himself as Kent had once been, he’d never done that, and he didn’t respect the men and women who did.

  But even if he hadn’t used people the way Jackson had, they’d drifted apart because Jackson reminded Kent a lot of the man he’d used to be. Back before his arrogance had cost a case and sent him down to the windowless cement confines of the basement.

  However, they were fairly evenly matched runners, so every couple of weeks, Kent met him on the track to run. It was too bad that what used to be a form of stress relief was now simply another source of aggravation in his life.

  Like the way Jackson made no secret about the fact that he was enjoying Kent’s recent fall from grace.

  “It’s going,” Kent finally said.

  Jackson scoffed. “Come on. That’s it? How’s Crier? I heard he’s as ornery as an old rooster, always calling you out and griping if you come in even a minute late.”

  “He’s not that bad.”

  “Sure he’s not.”

  Kent didn’t appreciate his buddy’s sarcasm, though he was fairly sure Jackson’s descriptor was dead-on. Sergeant Crier really was ornery and ran the cold-case division like the room of forgotten cases could get lost if he didn’t supervise each person from the moment he or she dared to walk into his basement office. And, since Kent was now there full-time, he got the brunt of Sergeant Crier’s constant guidance.

  “Crier’s all right. He’s just set in his ways.”

  Jackson whistled under his breath. “You really are taking the high road, aren’t you?”

  “I’m just trying to get through ten laps. That’s all.” Actually, he was just trying to get through their current conversation without slugging the guy.

  Okay, he wasn’t about to hit Jackson, but Kent was tempted to give him an earful about how he felt about all the nosy questions.

  It wasn’t that he minded talking about his new job, per se, it was that he knew exactly why Jackson was bringing it all up. Jackson was up for promotion to detective and was now practically buying suits that he could wear as soon as he got out of his uniform every day. When that happened, Jackson would get to laud that over Kent.

  And there was no doubt in his mind that Jackson would do that.

  Hoping to stop talking about work for a while, he said, “How’s that gal you’ve been dating? What’s her name... Avery?”

  “She’s fine.” Sounding annoyed, Jackson added, “She dragged me into the jewelry store last weekend.”

  “Looking at rings, I guess?”

  “Yep. Already.”

  That was kind of a surprise. “How long have you been dating?”

  “Only seven months.” His voice darkened. “I couldn’t get out of that store fast enough.”

  “Guess she’s anxious to get married. Or maybe she can’t wait to lock you down so another woman won’t snap you up.”

  Jackson chuckled. “Yeah...no. We get along fine and I really like her, but you know what happens when a gal hits twenty-eight.”

  “Nope.”

  “Once thirty is on the horizon, they start looking around and take stock of which friends are married, which ones have babies, which ones have good jobs...and which ones seem to be going nowhere. Avery’s scared to death to be put in that last group.”

  He’d liked the woman when he met her. She smiled a lot and seemed to have no problem dealing with Jackson’s ego. “I guess guys do the same thing...just a couple of years later.”

  He grinned. “Yeah, maybe. But if that’s the case, then I guess I’m doing all right. I mean, I’ve got a good job, am about to have an even better one, and I’ve got a gal who can’t wait to marry me.”

  Glad that they’d just completed the tenth lap, Kent slowed to a walk and veered off to the side so he could stretch. His hamstrings had been bothering him, and he’d pay big time if he didn’t stretch.

  “What about you?” Jackson asked. “Are you seeing anyone right now?”

  He was reluctant to mention Liana. He not only liked to keep his private life private, but Kent also knew he was walking the line by spending time with Li while investigating her husband’s death. All he needed was for Jackson to see it as a reason to report him.

  “I’m not really seeing anyone,” he finally said.

  “Yeah, I guess it would be hard, given your demotion and all.”

  Kent felt like rolling his eyes. Of course Jackson had to get one more jab in before they said goodbye.

  “Glad we fit this in tonight, Jackson. It was good to catch up.”

  “Hey, it’s still early. Want to go grab a quick dinner maybe?”

  “Sorry, I have other plans,” Kent said. Looking at his phone, he frowned. “I’ve got to go. See you.”

  “Yeah, bye,” Jackson said as he turned away.

  Kent knew his coworker was annoyed with him, but he wasn’t in the mood to try to soothe Jackson’s vanity. He was too interested in what he was reading on his phone’s screen.

  Though he’d intended to use his phone as an excuse to get out of there fast, the text from his father made it a reality.

  I found out something. Call me when you can.

  * * *

  As soon as he got to the car and turned on the air to cool things down, he called his dad. He answered immediately. “What’s up?”

  “I started thinking some more about Joe and some of the things he said, and then started digging through some of my old file boxes for my notes.”

  “What did you find?” There was no telling. His father was a product of his generation of detectives. They believed in paper, in saving it and didn’t entirely trust files saved on flash drives.

  “Brown and I had been working on a string of robb
eries and break-ins right around the time Billy Mann went missing. We’d taken Joe in for questioning the day before Billy vanished. We had enough circumstantial evidence to hold him overnight.”

  “So Joe couldn’t be responsible.”

  “Right. In addition, the lieutenant assigned four officers to the area that whole week. They were everywhere, knocking on doors, patrolling all of Joe’s buddies’ usual hangouts. I’m not saying that I’m a hundred percent sure those guys didn’t have anything to do with Billy’s death...”

  “But it doesn’t seem likely,” Kent finished.

  “Exactly.”

  Sitting in his car, watching a couple of teenagers playing catch in a field nearby, Kent sighed. He’d been holding out a vague hope that Billy’s death had been a drug-related crime. But from the first, it hadn’t felt that way. Now it looked like there was another reason to believe that line was a dead end. “Thanks for all your help, Dad.”

  “Hey, you sound discouraged.”

  “I’m not. Sergeant Crier has told me often that there’s a reason cold cases were never solved. They’re tricky, right?” He smiled, hoping his father realized he was speaking a little tongue-in-cheek.

  “They are, but I have faith in you, Kent.”

  “Thanks a lot.”

  Obviously, his father could hear the slight sarcasm in his tone. “No, listen. I’m serious. You might have made some mistakes in the past, but you’ve also done a lot of good. You’re a good cop and you’ve got a lot of heart. That’s going to see you through this. I promise.”

  “Thanks, Dad,” he said again, but this time meaning it completely. “I think I needed to hear that today.”

  “Oh, Kent. All of us need to hear it from time to time. If you ever can’t believe in yourself, you’ve got to remember that other people do. Just like the Lord does.”

  Kent thought about those words the whole way home.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Liana wasn’t sure why she’d agreed to come to her brother, Mason, and Jeanie’s backyard barbecue. She supposed it had to do with all the tales Kent had shared about his family.

  However, just ten minutes in, Liana knew accepting the invitation had been a mistake. Mason was acting kind of odd and Jeanie was pretending he wasn’t. Then, to make matters worse, they’d invited another couple over. Brenda had been in the same graduating class at Western Hills High School as Liana but they’d never been close. Things had even gotten more strained between them when Brenda had married well and moved into a big house in the Cincinnati suburbs. Liana didn’t care what Brenda did, but whenever they’d run into each other, Brenda had made sure that Liana knew they were now in different social circles.

  Though maybe not, since Brenda and her husband, Doug had obviously known that Mason had invited Liana to the shindig.

  Now, while the guys were grilling brats and chicken, Liana was stuck sitting with Brenda and Jeanie. Brenda and Jay’s two preschool-age kids were running around the yard with Mason’s dog, Spot.

  “Are you sure you don’t want any more root beer, Li?” Jeanie asked.

  “I’m positive. Water’s fine with me.”

  “Or another appetizer?”

  The appetizers were little smokies rolled up in crescent rolls. They were tasty but she’d already had three of them. “Jeanie, I promise, I’m good. Plus, you don’t have to wait on me. You know that.”

  “I know...”

  Brenda chuckled. “You should let her fuss, Liana. I mean, this is probably the first time in ages that you haven’t been the one waiting on other people.”

  Liana knew Brenda had probably meant to sound disparaging, but she didn’t see it that way. She honestly really did like waiting tables at the diner and wasn’t about to be embarrassed about it. Summoning a smile, she looked at Brenda. “You’re probably right.”

  Looking slightly surprised that Liana had taken her comment so well, Brenda cleared her throat. “So how are things at the diner?”

  “They’re good. I bet you’re keeping busy with the kids.”

  “Oh, yes. Both Crane and Lincoln are in preschool now. Next year Crane will be in kindergarten. I don’t know where the years ago.”

  She’d often felt the same way, though when she reflected on the time, it was about how much she’d wasted. She’d spent too many years trying to make Billy into something he wasn’t, and even longer than that living in limbo while he’d been missing.

  “You are blessed to have such a nice family, Brenda. I’m happy for you.”

  “I am blessed. Thank you.”

  As the stilted conversation drew to a stop, Jeanie crossed her legs. “Hey, Li, have you ever told Brenda about your painting?”

  “I’m not sure,” she replied, though Liana knew for a fact that she would’ve never talked about her paintings with Brenda.

  Brenda’s eyebrows rose over the rims of her sunglasses. “What kind of painting are you doing? Interiors?”

  Before Liana could answer, Jeanie said, “You should see these monster paintings she makes, Brenda. They’re big, like three feet by four feet.”

  “Really? What are they of?”

  “Nothing,” Jeanie said. “Right, Li?”

  She couldn’t really say that they were of nothing. In her mind the abstracts were representations of all kinds of things. Emotions, recollections, dreams. “They’re abstract pieces.”

  Brenda’s brows pulled together. “You mean they’re just a bunch of colorful blobs?”

  “I guess some might see them that way. I don’t, however.”

  “I don’t, either,” Jeanie interjected quickly. “I love your paintings, Li.”

  “Thanks.” Smiling at her sister-in-law, Liana almost felt like chuckling. She could sense the embarrassment and regret pouring off Jeanie’s shoulders as she watched her conversational effort go down in flames.

  Brenda’s voice turned sweet as sugarcane. “Liana, no offense, but when are you ever going to get your life together?”

  “I beg your pardon?”

  “Come on. You married Billy Mann.” Brenda’s voice rose. “He was a total jerk, then he went missing. For years!”

  “Why are you acting like that was either his or my fault?”

  Brenda waved a manicured hand. “All I’m saying is that you wasted years just sitting around and waiting for Billy to show up again. It’s sad, really.”

  While Liana fumed, Jeanie placed a hand on Brenda’s arm. “Brenda, I think you’ve crossed the line.”

  “Do you really think so? If so, then I’m sorry. Truly, I’m just curious. I know I’m not the only one from our group of friends who feels this way, either.”

  “He was murdered, Brenda,” Liana said.

  Jeanie frowned. “Are you sure about that, hon? I thought maybe the cops believed that he’d been out hiking and fell or something.”

  Liana couldn’t believe that she was having to share all of this in the middle of a barbecue. “First of all, Billy didn’t hike. Secondly, they found marks on his spine. His neck had been broken. Someone killed him.”

  “Where did you hear that?” Mason asked.

  Surprised, Liana turned to her brother. Mason was standing with Brenda’s husband, Jay. But while Jay was merely listening with a curious expression on his face, her brother looked almost angry.

  “I heard it from the cop who’s in charge of his case, Mason.”

  “What case?” He scoffed. “Billy’s been dead a long time. What happened to him doesn’t matter. Not really, right?”

  The callous way her brother was speaking caught Liana off guard. While it was true that Billy had been horrible to her in countless ways, she hadn’t ever wished he’d been murdered. No one should be killed the way he’d been and then forgotten about for a decade.

  “I think you’re wrong, Mason.” Not caring anymore that she wa
s airing her dirty laundry in front of Brenda and Jay, she added, “Even though Billy abused me and I’ve wished I never married him, I can’t be all right with the way he died. No one’s life should be seen as disposable.”

  “You don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t even understand why you’re talking to the cops.” He scowled. “Honestly, Li, I don’t understand why you would ever even think about Billy again. It would be a lot better for you if you just forgot he ever existed.”

  She knew then that she’d probably never share with Mason the things Martha had taught her about forgiveness. Forgiving was an essential part of the Amish life. Though Liana would never be Amish, of course, she had accepted that forgiving others’ transgressions brought peace. It didn’t matter if they deserved to be forgiven or not—that was up to God.

  So she would keep that to herself. But there were still other questions that Mason’s words and attitude brought to mind. For example, it was hard not to ask him why he was so eager to keep Billy’s case closed.

  Hoping to ease the tension between them, she said, “I think we should talk about this another day, Mason.”

  “Honey, is lunch ready?” Jeanie asked brightly.

  Mason’s angry expression slowly faded. “Yeah. That’s what we came in here to tell you. Let’s eat.”

  “I’m starving,” Brenda said as she walked to her husband’s side. “I’ll go help the kids wash up.”

  When only the two of them were standing together, Mason stopped Liana. Concern etched his features. “Li, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have acted so fired up.” He rubbed a hand over his face. “It’s just that sometimes, I can hardly bear to think about how badly he hurt you. I practically see red every time I hear his name. I wish you’d just put him in the past.”

  “I didn’t bring him up, Mason. Brenda did. Then Jeanie acted like he’d just gotten hurt in some hiking accident. Since I know that isn’t true, I corrected her.”

  When he continued to frown at her, she said, “What’s going on? You look upset with me.”

  “I’m not upset... I think you should just let sleeping dogs lie.”