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Dawn of Hope- Exodus

Page 6

by Dobrin Kostadinov


  The six shared a look, but no one said a thing, as though they had become all shame.

  ‘Come on, don’t be shy, I don’t eat people,’ Richard said and started laughing.

  They shared another look and suddenly Scott ventured to talk.

  ‘I have a question, Mr. Ginly. It’s not a real question actually, I’m merely seeking advice.

  ‘I’m listening, Mr. Graham, I’m all ears.’

  ‘My fears have to do with whether or not the mission will be a success. I know that we’ve been chosen, that everything’s going smoothly, but I feel anxious on the inside. How do I overcome it . . .,’ the American sheared his concern.

  Richard gave him a broad smile and settled comfortably in his chair.

  ‘Where shall I begin so that I am as precise as possible in my statement?’ Ginly took up, pondering on for a bit and continuing, ‘I have an answer to your question, but whether you will accept it as true or not is a matter of choice. I’m offering you my solution on a very basic level. Fear is an unpleasant human emotion related to the self-preservation instinct which is triggered by a real or supposed threat to the individual. This emotion is accompanied by the release of chemicals in the brain and the emergence of stress, panic, anxiety and tension. Unfortunately, there is no way in which we can fully control these processes and maybe that is rightfully so because every organism is hardwired to react like that. Life would be superficial without fear and in that case people would live with the false, seeming sense of security while in reality they could be constantly exposed to threats. That’s all right, but the same feeling can creep over you not only in moments when your life is in danger, but it can also arise out of the blue and that is where the problem lies. It can appear for example as a result of a fluctuation or a change in the setting, in the family environment, of the job or even when we doubt the validity of our decisions. This proves that our fear is rooted in our thoughts about the unknown future–whether that be for a second or a year ahead it does not matter, it is not affected by that. It is simply a figment of our imagination. This is precisely the reason why you can take control and your consciousness and the right to choose are your levers. You do not choose when and whether to feel scared, but you choose to stay active or passive in response to it. That is why it sometimes prompts you to make a choice, heightened by your thoughts about what bad things could a situation possibly bring about, despite the fact that it could never really happen. When you feel scared, assess the fear, accept it and detach yourself from it as it could only hamper the six of you. When you do feel it, repeat to yourselves: “Fear is just in my imagination, but not in my self-consciousness.” An African proverb says: “When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.” Remember: humans are animals that have tamed a good part of their instincts so do not succumb to your primal emotions or to the concerns related to them. This is what I can advise not only you Scott, but the rest of the team, too,’ the teacher said and smiled after these words. They were the last ones before one of the typical classes of the six came to an end. They were all amazed by the answer and even considered making use of the message it conveyed . . .

  The days at the base were filled not only practice but with many emotions, too. Their schedule was simple, yet demanding. It included the following panoply: getting up at 7 a.m., a breakfast half an hour after that, classes from 8:10 until 5:00 p.m. with breaks between some of them, and from then on there were duties related to their studies and revision of the lectures. They had only a few hours of free time after dinner which they could use to get to know each other, but because of the tight schedule everyone preferred to invest it in resting. Therefore the process of getting to know each other was going slowly. Or it was completely normal given what they were going through. But precisely in such kinds of moments the people subjected to physical and psychological overload need support. The body is easy to treat, but the psyche can be damaged by the stress caused by the insecurity that grows inside the individual’s mind, especially in the moments of solitude. It is then when the need of a friendly shoulder to cry upon arises, the tower of strength that everyone seeks when in hard times. Sometimes a single word is sufficient for a person to rediscover themselves. To gain the strength that they need to move on. Friendship is a peculiar thing. It does not resemble the relationship born out of love. It is completely different and hard to explain, but ever so needed a social interaction.

  One of the cases where the need for friendship between the team members arose was one evening after a long day of training when Liu and Hiroshi decided to set out for a walk around the base. They needed to take a gulp of fresh air and to roam a little just like that, only the two of them. There was a more than one-and-a-half-miles long pathway designed and meant for walks and rest. It was lined with small young trees with benches in front of them.

  ‘Let’s have a little walk, I’ve started growing stiff from so much sitting,' Liu suggested.

  ‘Let’s do it, some fresh air is exactly what we need,’ Hiroshi answered.

  The two friends walked out of the building and headed for the spot. What a splendid winter night! It was the middle of February–the shortest, yet one of the most changeable months of the year. The weather was fickle and went sometimes cold, sometimes warm for the season. Some even went as far as to blame the global warming for the uncustomary mismatch between winter days and summer swelter, in Germany at that. But right at that moment that was of no importance to our heroes. The temperature was pleasant, suitable for a walk, the stars were twinkling and everything could be seen quite easily. It was as though they were in a gigantic planetarium, only that the view was even more promising. They walked in silence for a while. A little peace would not hurt. Five minutes later Hiroshi decided to strike up a conversation.

  ‘Do you think there will be someone out there on that God forsaken planet? Will we meet someone or something intelligent or will we arrive at a land ready to be conquered?’

  ‘I don’t know, I have no idea, besides I don’t want to think about it. There’s just no point in doing it because no one can foresee what lives there. But do you know what I thought a while back when I had just learned about the program?’

  ‘No, do share!’ The Japanese pricked up his ears.

  ‘I was thinking that if there are fully developed creatures there, doesn’t matter if they’re smarter than us or not, they won’t give up without a fight. They won’t surrender their land. Ever since I can remember I’ve been watching movies, on TV and at the movie theater, about aliens which invade the Earth, hoping to conquer us, but in the end with many sacrifices we manage to drive the invaders away. And when I come to think of it now, it is us who will be those conquerors. We’ll be playing the part of the ones who are yet to take over new worlds. Humans may turn into the enslavers of the Universe. We’ll leave behind devastated planets, we’ll plunder as though we were vultures . . . Centuries ago people used to go on quests for new lands, for subjugating their peoples who in turn worked for them. I’m afraid we’ll become the conquistadors of the New World. We’ll go there and start ruining everything without showing any mercy. That’s what we do best. I hope that in time people will come to their senses and realize what they are, and start creating instead of destroying.’

  ‘Maybe we’ll come to our senses soon,’ Hiroshi tried to calm his excited friend down.

  ‘But when will it happen? I’m sick of us, humans. We probably deserve to die out as a species. I don’t know . . . I don’t know. Let’s just hope it doesn’t turn out as it does in the movies with the conquerors forced out of the planet, reaping numerous victims in their wake. That will be a heavy burden for all of us,’ said Liu, expressing his concern.

  ‘Don’t worry, brother. What is meant to happen will happen. I can only guarantee you that I’ll be by your side and, if we have to, we’ll die together in that damn place. But know this: you’re like a brother to me and I’d kill for my brother,’ Hiroshi said, conjuring up powerful words.r />
  ‘I know. The same goes for me. You won’t fall down lifeless on the ground alone. I’ll follow you there,’ Yan replied, shaking his hand firmly, then locked him in a manly embrace. That conversation put an end to their walk so they went back to their lodgings.

  Such moments of frankness ripened among the other people in the base as well, apparently loneliness and the partial isolation were already exhibiting their effect. And so three weeks went by in repeating the same cycle of activities that was gradually leading up to the climax . . .

  Fifteen more days rolled by, they were almost into the fifth week of that new experience that reminded of a movie that displayed shades of an action pictures with all that commotion around the preparation and the casting, the enormous distance, and the fact that because of the secrecy of the mission our heroes were expected to stay away from their families for months on end. From time to time Scott and Alan spoke about their children. Scott had a three-year-old baby girl and Alan a five-year-old boy.

  ‘Buddy, I can’t wait to go back home, to hug my wife and to kiss my little girl,’ Scott took up eagerly. ‘In such moments I realize family is the most important thing. Nothing else matters to me. Once you manage to start it, it turns into a soft spot of yours. We’re strong men, we can take it, and I think every person is endowed with the necessary strength to overcome whatever befalls them. Am I right, Alan?’ Asked Scott, doubtful of his own words, and waited for an answer, as though he needed a confirmation of what he had shared. Alan said nothing, he was just smiling and nodding. He felt immensely sad he was far away from his family and his lower eyelids hardly managed to keep his overflowing tears from spilling. The American knew that sorrow was not going to be of any use to him, so he kept it locked away and only to himself.

  The two youngest members of the team were Liu and Hiroshi. They still did not have families of their own, but they, too, were sad for being away from their relatives. Just when they were about to rejoice at their graduation they were summoned to save the world . . .

  Colonel Ivanov had no time to start a family, he was completely immersed in his job and the only person close to him was his mother. That uncanny relationship between mother and son had reincarnated into a friendship through the years of dreadful ordeals. During a disaster in the last and largest power station used for the purposes of humankind, his father and grandfather died, precisely at the time while his mother, Maria, was pregnant with him. After that incident all nuclear programs were unanimously canceled. His father remained one of the heroes who prevented the possible hazardous repercussions and sealed the reactors in the control room at the expense of his own life. His mother decided to name him after his father and her beloved man. He was of Scottish descent and maybe precisely because of that he had inherited such manliness along with a number of other positive traits. His surname he inherited from Mrs. Ivanovna, so that it was clear that he was no less of a descendent of Mother Russia. Some would say that fate hated him, others would call it was a talent he was gifted with by nature. The truth had remained somewhere out there, lost in time, but his precious, if not most important, inborn asset was his willpower. Yet it was not the ordinary human willpower, but the male one that did not let him give up or look aside even for a second. His balance and concentration were not disrupted even for a moment during the pursuit of the goals he was after.

  Unlike her compatriot, Mila did have something to lose. She enjoyed a loving family with two parents and she had even recently, immediately before she was selected for the mission, gotten engaged to her beloved man. Every night, alone in her room, she would not stop looking at his photo and at her engagement ring which she kept in a small box afraid she could lose it during their training courses. The blond beauty was a truly tough girl who knew how to hold back her emotions, repressing her desire to cry. Apart from the fact that she felt very lonely at that moment, she was tremendously happy. Her fiancé, Stephan, a typical citizen of Germany, fair, tall and handsome young man, knew how to offer her the absolute pleasure in life. He knew how to make her forget the problems she had at work and in her immediate circle and their long-term relationship had tuned into a fairytale. Stephan was one of the leading doctors at the city hospital in Berlin. And also an educated and sophisticated man, ready to do anything for his better half and, if he had to, turn the world upside down to be with her. But he was not there at that moment. He was not there in the long nights to encourage her, his closeness was not there either to keep her warm in the evenings. The thing that saddened her the most was that she probably would not be able to see him before she got back from her travel and that meant a really long time apart. And that could change their relationship beyond recognition because when four eyes are out of sight, they go out of mind . . .

  That was how things were going for our selected few, it was hard for them, but they had it in themselves to bear the burden they were up for. It was not the same, though, for people everywhere. Most of the people on the planet lived in penury and they were left with no other choice but to set themselves up into groups and do something. Mass protests against the authorities broke out in many countries. The public discontent was enormous and the problems were many, each graver than the other. Those actions also intended to put pressure on the people responsible for the most important mission in the history of human kind. Everything had to start as soon as possible because ordinary people desired not only to receive answers but also the situation to move forward. It was plain to see that the projects were a slow go and those in charge of them were indifferent to the pace of their implementation. Whether they were going to be ready a month earlier or later did not matter much to the oligarchs, but even if they wanted to speed up the process, time was not going to be enough anyway. Despite everything, the public was going to lash out their anger at them and the outcome came soon after . . .

  For a few days hundreds of thousands of peaceful protesters from around the globe assembled–they were visibly discontented with their lives and the environment they lived in. They all hurried to get away. But how? Nothing was examined yet. How can you demand from a furious crowd to be patient? It was not an easy time for anyone, demonstrations were still by rule peaceful, but how long was that going to last? It was all a matter of time before someone took advantage of the situation and grabbed matters in their own hands . . .

  In the meantime the preparation went all right, well, there was no shortage of certain frictions between the six explorers, but that was completely normal given the kind of pressure they lived under. For a short, yet sufficient time, they became friends and even started helping each other–that was one of the basic rules of team work. They grew close not just because they felt forced by the circumstances but also because of the everyday occasions for social get-togethers. They often had barbecues. Twice a week they had a chill-out party, just the six of them, without any of the officers or scientists around to instruct them about the mission or to engage them with data, numbers or research results.

  Once during their firing practice the two closest friends, competed against each other–nothing out of the ordinary, to see who was going to score more times the bullseye and as usual they failed to pronounce a winner. Scott and Alan were perfect and did their best, and even if one of them did win, they never argued, they took it as a chance for the other one to prove himself better the next time. Lieutenant Nikolaevna coached the practice. She was not an active participant, but only gave directions as she was the most experienced in the group. Only the Coronel was not present. He had been summoned to test something that was kept a secret form the rest of the team, interesting and dangerous at the same time. He might have been absent, but he was not really missing from the overall landscape, for he was not especially sociable and always listened to the rest of the team somewhere from the sidelines. That same evening they had gathered up for a bottle of beer. The group were sitting and talking about what they would do after all that was over.

 

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