Loving Raylynn

by C. R. Marcum

  All the lights were off downstairs, so Raylynn made her way to the kitchen. She quietly snuck to the microwave. The plate was waiting as usual. She closed her eyes, reached in, and grabbed it. Her emotions were getting the best of her and she could feel the familiar sting behind her eyes. She turned and pressed the button on the trash can and scraped her plate.

  She turned quickly when she heard the chuckle. Katrina stepped out from the darkness and smiled a malicious smile. She could only stare as Katrina slinked her way towards her. She had been caught, and before her mind could process what was happening, Katrina was in her face.

  “I knew it. I’d been watching you, and while you put on a wonderful show at breakfast, you always seem to miss dinner. I thought you’d wait until later to pitch it though, and I was prepared to wait all night if I had to.” She spat, every word laced with venom.

  “What do you want Katrina? I highly doubt you are concerned about my health, so just cut to the chase.” Raylynn said sitting her plate on the counter.

  “Yeah, your health is the last thing I’d worry about. I never wanted you here to begin with, but your uncle is all about family and he wouldn’t dream of leaving you to the system. No, I just want you gone. I had a great thing going here until you showed up. Paisley knew to stay out of my way; you don’t seem to understand that.”

  “What do you mean you want me gone? I’m not going to move out, I don’t have

  anywhere else to go and you know that.” Raylynn said with obvious hurt in her voice.

  “I can’t make you move, at least, not yet. What I can do however is promise you that I will tell your uncle everything. I highly doubt that he would want you anywhere near his precious little Paisley if he knew exactly how messed up you actually are. Now, if you would like me to keep your little secret so you can starve yourself to death I will, if and only if you stay out of my way. I don’t care if you have to lock yourself in your room, you will stay out of my business. Do we have an agreement?” Katrina threatened.

  “You don’t care if I’m around; you just don’t want me to come between you and Paisley right? You get some kind of sick pleasure out of torturing her.”

  “She’s a snotty little bitch who needs knocked down a few notches, so yeah; I enjoy making her doubt herself. Now, if you want to continue to have a place to live, then I suggest you make yourself scarce when it comes to me and my business.”

  “I can’t just knowingly watch you downgrade her. She has been through enough don’t ya think?”

  “I don’t care what you have to do. Stay gone for all I care, but you aren’t going to stick your nose into my business, and you damn sure won’t ever threaten me again. So, I will ask you one more time, do we have an understanding?”

  Raylynn stood silent. A million thoughts running through her mind, the only one she could focus on was her hatred for the woman standing before her.

  “I’ll take your silence as a yes. It was nice having this little chat with you; I look forward to never doing it again.” Katrina said before pushing past her and disappearing down the hall.

  The tears fell before she could stop them. The weight of what just happened hit with enough force to drop her to her knees in the middle of the kitchen. Katrina meant every word, of that she was sure, and she had turned her back on her best friend to save herself. Before she knew what she was doing, she was puking into the trash can.

  After what seemed like hours, Raylynn finally found the strength to make her way upstairs. She found herself utterly alone, in the darkness of her room. She felt useless, unworthy, and selfish. How would she ever be able to look at Paisley again?

  “I should have died back in that house, I shouldn’t even be here.” She whispered, through her tears, to the darkness.

  She curled up on her bed and cried until the tears were dry. Her body hurt, and her mind wouldn’t shut up. She tried to find sleep, but it evaded her. Rolling, she looked at the clock and found that it was already three in the morning. Without weighing the consequences, she pulled out her pills and downed them dry, hoping that they would offer her the relief she desperately needed. She sat the empty bottle on her nightstand and closed her eyes, waiting for them to take effect.

  She was woken by Paisley the next morning, and though she couldn’t remember doing it, her pill bottle was safely nestled in her drawer. The effect of the pills while difficult to fight was not impossible. Paisley had at least brought her some coffee that would help. She finally pulled herself out of bed and got dressed. She waited until it was time to leave before making her way downstairs. She could hear Richard, and Paisley and Katrina in the kitchen. She found her keys on the entry table and quietly made her way out the door.

  She sat in silence in her car waiting for the call she knew would come. When the buzzing started, she immediately answered, knowing it was Paisley.

  “I’m in the car. Rough night, wasn’t in the mood for family breakfast.” She said and hung up.

  When she spotted Paisley, she turned the ignition and turned up the music. She couldn’t bring herself to talk to her this morning. Paisley took her spot in the passenger seat and reached to turn the music down. Raylynn caught her hand before it reached the knob.

  “No, this is new, I need to hear it.” She said putting the car in drive.

  “Fine, I see how this morning is gonna be.” Paisley conceded.

  The drive was quick, and for that Raylynn was grateful. The girls made their way towards the school and Paisley used the walk to tell her all about cheer and this morning’s breakfast. Raylynn was hardly listening as they entered the building. They parted ways in the hall and she made her way to first period, thankful that she had a couple hours before she would have to see Paisley again.

  First period went by slowly, mostly due to the constant stares and comments coming from the two football players that sat behind her. She could hear everything they were saying, and it only added to her frustration. She had to fight the urge to turn around and hit both of them. When the bell rang, she couldn’t keep quiet any longer. She stood and turned to face them.

  “If I ever hear either one of you mention my tits or ass again I will cut your fucking tongues out got it.” She spat before grabbing her bag and storming out leaving them to stare after her.

  Raylynn made her way to second period and took her normal seat, laying her head down on the desk. She had almost fallen asleep when she felt the hand on her back. She sat up quickly and whipped her head to face whoever had the nerve to touch her. She had planned to hit whoever it was on sight but pulled up shy when she saw who it was.

  “Ty! Oh my god, did doc clear you? When? You have no idea how glad I am to see you. Are you sure you’re okay.” She exclaimed pulling him into a hug.

  “Jeez, calm down, you act like you haven’t seen me in years.” He said smiling and giving her a tight squeeze.

  Raylynn pulled away from the hug and gave him a good shove to his shoulder. Ty looked at her with a huge grin.

  “You have been around Paisley too long; she did the same thing, word vomit and all.” He said with a chuckle.

  “Whatever, you’re just jealous that I get to see her in her pj’s every night.” She said, thankful to have him back.

  The bell rang, and their reunion was put on hold. Raylynn was feeling better about the rest of the school day. Knowing that Ty would be at lunch today made it easier to face Paisley. She would be more focused on him than her.

  By the time class was over, Raylynn was exhausted. The three hours of sleep she had gotten were interrupted by the nightmares that crept in and stole the peaceful sleep that always seemed to elude her. She and Ty parted ways and she moved on with her day. Lunch was around the corner and Ty had mentioned that he needed to talk to her about something.

  Raylynn thought about the conversation that had taken place last night. She had no idea how she would be able to stay away from Katrina, especially if it meant leaving Paisley to fend for herself. The threat of losing the only home s
he had left was almost too much for her to handle. She was sure that she could at least make it up to Paisley next year when they were both off to college.

  Lunchtime finally rolled around and Raylynn found herself at their table waiting for Ty and Paisley to arrive. Of course she knew that Aspen would be there too, as she had been for the last few weeks. She was glad that Paisley had Aspen. She could lean on her if things got too bad with Katrina; at least that was what she told herself. Before she had finished her thought, Paisley and Aspen came walking up. They were deep in conversation about cheer when they took their usual seats across from her. She listened to them gossip about the upcoming football game, and the dance that wasn’t far behind it.

  She almost choked on her water when Aspen asked her who she planned on going to the dance with.

  “I don’t.” She had replied when she finally stopped laughing.

  “She hasn’t made up her mind yet, but she is defiantly going.” Paisley had corrected looking at her.

  “Going where?” Ty asked as he took a seat next to Raylynn.

  “Nowhere.” She said before turning her attention back to her cousin, “I’m not going to the dance Pais.”

  “Yeah, me either. I want no part of that.” Ty agreed.

  “Like I said, THEY haven’t decided yet.” Paisley said with a wink, before turning back to Ty. “When did you get cleared exactly? You never did tell me.”

  “Oh, Drake took me yesterday. I tried to tell Ray last night, but she ran outta there pretty quick.”

  “You were over at Ty’s last night? You didn’t tell me that.”

  “Yeah, I went over and hung out. I was hoping to see Ty, but he was out so I just hung with Jax.” She replied casually.

  “Oh, ok. Well, I’m really glad you’re back Ty, I missed you like crazy.” Paisley answered.

  “Missed you too Pais. By the way, I’m Ty. We haven’t met.” Ty said extending his hand towards Aspen.

  “I’ve heard a lot about you, Paisley wouldn’t shut up about you for a while. I actually thought you two were a thing until Ray told me otherwise. I’m Aspen.”

  “Oh, Ty, you can come to the game next weekend, right? Coop promised me she would come even though I know she would rather stab her eyes out with a rusty fork, so at least if you come she will have someone to talk too. Please, please, please Ty?” Paisley asked as she batted her lashes.

  Ty looked to Raylynn and then back to Paisley. Raylynn could see the idea he had hit. She suddenly felt nervous.

  “Sure, I’ll come. I’ll bring the guys too.” He said before turning to Raylynn. “By the way, what did you do last night? I mean, Jax and Syn fight sometimes, but nothing like that.” He asked taking a bite of his nachos.

  “Wait, what do you mean? Why were they fighting?” Paisley asked.

  “I don’t really know. Drake had called Syn and told him to get Jax and Lucas and we were bringing dinner. When we pulled up I saw Ray’s car and I figured she could just stay and eat with us, well, when I came in I put the food on the living room table and went to grab some plates. I come back and see Ray rushing out the door and Jax and Syn are yelling. So, I started to walk that way when they started fighting. So, I backed up and let them go. They broke the table by the way, and all our food went to the floor.” He explained.

  “Why would they be fighting Coop?” Paisley asked.

  “I don’t know. Like I said, I was hanging out with Jax. Syn knocked on the door and asked if we were coming and Jax made a sly comment. I left. That’s all I know.” She lied.

  “Yeah, ok so that’s why Jax called him a cock block.” Ty smiled.

  “Wait, what? What exactly were you two doing in Jax’s room Raylynn?” Paisley questioned.

  “What do you think they were doing Pais? Ray’s HOT. Jax would be stupid not to hook up with her.” Aspen said looking towards Raylynn.

  “Yeah, but she knows better. Right?” Paisley asked.

  Raylynn could feel the embarrassment showing in her cheeks. This was not a conversation she wanted to have at a high school lunch table. The three of them looked to her waiting.

  “Jeez Pais, you know I’m not a virgin, right? I mean, seriously what do you think was going on in his room?” Ray quipped.

  “Raylynn Grace, I cannot believe you. You slept with him? Really?”

  “No, I didn’t sleep with him. We just fooled around a little.”

  “You must have that good good, to get two guys to fight over you.” Aspen said with a smile.

  “Actually, they’re brothers, and they weren’t fighting over me. There is no way that’s what their fight was about. Besides Pais, you can’t tell me that you haven’t fooled around with someone before. It’s natural.” She defended.

  “Actually, I can. I don’t see what’s so bad about being a virgin.” Paisley shot back.

  “Pais, how in the hell are you still a virgin? I mean, have you seen yourself? You should be getting some at least four times a week.” Aspen said smiling.

  “Well, I haven’t had much time to date really. I stay pretty busy; besides, I don’t really want to fool around with just anybody.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean? I didn’t just fool around with anybody, I messed around with Jax. He’s actually a really nice guy once you get to know him, not all of us see him as someone to be afraid of.”

  “I’m not a virgin.” Ty said meekly raising his hand. All three girls turned to face him, before bursting out into laughter.

  That was the end of the conversation. Raylynn didn’t mean to get irritated with Paisley, and she felt bad instantly. She knew she would have to tell Pais everything that had happened with Jax later, but at least she would have a couple hours before that conversation had to happen. Paisley had drama rehearsal this evening, which would give her a little bit of time to figure out how to answer her questions.

  As the rest of the day progressed, Raylynn found herself wondering why Syn and Jax fought. She couldn’t wrap her mind around it. She decided to chalk it up to Jax being frustrated. She understood that completely. She had wanted him badly; she could only imagine how frustrated he was.

  When the last bell of the day rang, the plan for the evening had changed drastically. They had a project due in physics and the three of them had decided to team up.

  “Well, I still have auditions. It should only take an hour or so. Aspen said she would take me wherever. So, where are we meeting up?” Paisley asked as they left the class.

  “Honestly, with what’s going on at my place between the guys, I doubt it would be a great idea to add Raylynn to the mix.” Ty said with a laugh.

  “Probably not, so we can just meet at our place then?” Paisley asked.

  “Your dad going to be cool with me coming over?” Ty asked.

  “He’ll be okay with it. We will have to study in the living room, but he’ll be fine.” She answered with a giggle.

  “Yeah, he’ll be okay. You should just ride home with me. I mean no point in going home and then having to come all the way back over here.” Raylynn suggested as they walked towards the door.

  “Yeah, okay. I think Jax is picking me up though so we will have to let him know before we leave.” Ty said. Just the mention of Jax made Raylynn’s heart speed up. She couldn’t understand how she could feel this way after such a short time of knowing him.

  “Okay, so I’ll meet you guys at home then. Love ya.” Paisley said before kissing Ty on the cheek and bouncing down the hall towards the auditorium.

  “She really is amazing huh?” Ty asked, watching Paisley walk away.

  “Snap out of it and stop looking at her ass please.” Raylynn said snapping her fingers in front of his eyes.

  “What? You are the only person I can be honest with about her.”

  “Yeah yeah, I know. Doesn’t mean I want to watch you check her out.”

  “Yeah, well I don’t want to think about you banging Jax, but it seems like we are both shit outta luck huh?”

  “Shut up, yo
u’re just jealous that Jax is getting some and you’re not.”

  “I get some,” he started “sometimes.”

  Raylynn couldn’t help but laugh.

  “Your hand doesn’t count buddy. I’m sorry.” She said as they exited the school.

  “Hey, don’t you make light of my relationship. Me and my hand have something special.” He replied.

  When they finally made their way to the lot, Jax was leaning against his car. Raylynn spotted him quickly and felt her heart start to race. He was nothing short of godly. He looked like a modern-day Adonis, and beyond all imagination, he wanted her. She knew it was probably just a one and done type thing, but she couldn’t help but want it.

  “Jax!” Ty yelled. Jax held a hand up to his ear. Signaling that he couldn’t hear him.

  “C’mon, we can go tell him.” Raylynn said as she pulled Ty by the arm.

  “Yeah, only cause you want to see him.”

  “Whatever.” Was her only reply.

  As they approached Jax, Raylynn could see the fresh bruises. He had just started to completely heal from the last fight, and now he was battered again. She wondered if Syn looked anything like Jax. She instantly felt bad. It was her fault that they had fought. If she hadn’t been so loud, Syn never would have known what they were up to.

  She shook the thought from her head and shot Jax a smirk. He returned it, but he cocked his head to the side to check her out in the process. She instantly started to walk a little taller and felt sexy. She couldn’t remember anyone ever looking at her the way Jax did. Even Tristan didn’t look at her like that, and she had slept with him.

  When they finally came face to face with Jax, Raylynn felt her core heat up. He was looking at her like he wanted to take her on the hood of his car. She hated to admit it, but she probably would have let him in that moment. She loved the way he looked at her, but she loved that she controlled the situation even more. Jax wouldn’t make a move until Raylynn did.

  “Hey sexy, how you feelin today?” He asked.

  “I’m fine.” Ty replied.

  “Shut up Ty.” Jax and Raylynn said in unison.

  “I’m just sayin, you need to be a bit more specific Jax.”