Finding Me: Dominant Devils Book Three

by H. M. Stewart

  Finding Me

  Dominant Devils

  Book 3

  Copyright

  © 2016 H.M Stewart

  All rights reserved.

  Without limiting the rights under the copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in, or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without prior written permission of the author, H.M Stewart.

  Printed in the USA

  Dedication

  Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 1

  Breezy

  Over the last three and a half years I’ve worked at the diner by day and the bar owned by the local motorcycle club, the Dominant Devils, at night. Over the past year, I’ve managed to get my schedule so that I have at least two days off but, most of the time it’s three. Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, and Saturdays I’m up at 4 am to be at the diner by 5 am for the morning shift. I work til noon and then rush home to catch a nap before having to be back at the bar by 5 pm and work til closing. I only cover the bar on Sundays if something comes up with Queenie, Tabby or Marley and very rarely will Elaine call me into the diner on my days off. It didn’t take me long to form an addiction to the latest energy drinks to keep my butt moving through the weekend.

  I spend my down time with my nose stuck in the latest romance novel or working on my own books. I would love to get my work published, but I’m still a little too insecure. One day, though, I’ll have my name on the front of a book, and I’ll be mailing a copy to my mother just for spite.

  My parents never supported anything I wanted, especially my writing. All they were worried about was appearances and the family business. They had a plan for me; I either got my degree in business, or I married a man of their choosing to take over. Either way, the family empire would continue to grow with me at the helm or at the side of the man that would be. There’s only one problem with their plan. One major flipping’ problem, I never wanted that life and probably never will. It was their overwhelming expectations and plans for my future that sent me running away almost four years ago. I took off without a trace; draining my bank account, ditching my cell phone and traded my Mercedes sports car for a full-size Chevrolet truck. I cut all ties, leaving the only trace they could find back in Nashville. I kept a P.O. Box there to keep up with anything that had to be mailed. My best friend from high school, Olivia, lives there now. She collects any mail I have and sends it to me under my pen name to the address of the apartment I rent here in town.

  Olivia had always had my back when it came to my parents. Although we came from the same social circles, she was lucky enough to have parents that supported her. When she decided to become a publicist, they supported her one hundred percent. She left for Nashville right out of high school for college and later put down permanent roots. As of right now, she is working for a small firm with some up and coming clients. She’s doing what she loves and seems to enjoy every minute of it. Liv has been haggling me for years to move up there with her. I just can’t bring myself to do it. Yeah, I work as a waitress/barmaid, but at least I get to do what I want and live the way I want. Olivia and I talk every other day and once a year I make the trip to see her, and she makes the trek down to see me as well. She’s the only one of my friends that knew where I came from and what I gave up in order to find myself. Since leaving my parents bubble, I’ve made a life for myself, with new friends and even got myself a dog. The only thing that would make my life better would be the man of my dreams. There’s only one thing standing between me with the sexiest man I’ve ever laid eyes on, he’s what one would call a man whore. Leave it to me to be head over heels with a man who doesn’t know I exist half the time, let alone settle down in a relationship with me. Yeah, he talks to me and even flirts, but he does that with every female I’ve ever seen him interact with. The only exception being those he considers family.

  At one point, a few months back I thought that had changed, but I quickly found out he was only after one thing. To this day, I still get embarrassed every time I see him. At least he hasn’t made things weird for me after my confession that night. As soon as the words were off my lips, Tank stepped back. I still find myself reliving my embarrassment every time I see him; even though he reassured me there was nothing to be ashamed of. His words are the only thing that kept me from running again. I think back on that night often and wonder if I should have done things differently…

  It was late, and I had already locked the doors to the bar. Bobo had left for the night, having a date with one of the girls from the band from the night before. Tank and one of the prospects for the club where the only ones left waiting for me to finish up, so they could take the deposit with them, then walk me to my truck. I had been crushing on Tank for a while now, even flirting and carrying on with him. I was in the back office finishing up the deposit when Tank walked in closing the door behind him. I felt the butterflies in my stomach immediately leaving me speechless. I tried to act like I was focusing on the deposit slip in front of me while Tank made his way over to sit on the corner of the desk. I could feel his eyes on me while I continued to act like I didn’t notice him come in. He let me get away with it for only a few seconds before he called me out on it.

  “Breezy we both know that you’ve been staring at the same line on that deposit slip for the last few minutes. Why are you acting like I’m not here babe,” Tank asked in a sensual tone.

  “Oh, I wasn’t ignoring you. Just been a long day and I’m having trouble concentrating that’s all,” I said finally raising my head to look at him. That was a big mistake. When I looked up into his eyes, I could see the lust and desire in those big pools of purple irises. That look was what I have read about in just about every one of my smut books. You know, it’s the look that instantly makes the girl's panties wet. By god did it ever. I knew I was blushing as the thought rolled through my head. I didn’t think Tank would be able to pick up on it. Boy, was I wrong again?

  “Oh, my baby, what have you got going on in that beautiful head of yours? Your face is flushed, and I can hear your heart racing from over here. I bet those pretty little panties of yours are soak and wet right now, and I haven’t even touched you yet. I bet you're playing out one of those scenes from that book you have stuffed under the bar, only it’s me and you in that scene.”

  “I…I… I really don’t know what you’re talking about Tank. I’m blushing because one of my bosses is sitting in here on the desk watching me screw this deposit up. You're making me nervous,” I said back to him trying to get the conversation back to anything other than sexual thoughts.

  Tank said nothing as he stood from the edge of the desk to staring directly into my eyes. I was waiting for him to turn in leave, but instead, he moved to pull my chair out from the desk. He took my hands, yanking me up and sending me crashing into his broad chest. With our bodies molded together, he took one hand and raised it to stroke my cheek before leaning in to take my lips.

  As soon as his lips touched mine, my body caught fire. Tank’s soft lips began to move allowing his tongue to snake out seeking entry to my mouth. I graciously opened letting our tongues become a tangled mess. Without breaking the kiss, he moved his hand from my face to grab a handful of my rear end. With both of his muscular hands on my butt, he then lifted me, so I was sitting on top of the desk moving his body in between my legs and began reaching for the button of my jeans. I was so wrapped up in the kiss I didn’t realize he had managed to get my pants undone and slip his hand to cup my sex.
>
  We were both preoccupied with one another and didn’t hear the footsteps in the hall. When the door burst open, it was like someone had thrown a bucket of cold water on both of us.

  “Um… sorry Tank. There was a call from Axle. He wanted to know when we would be getting back to the clubhouse,” the prospect said with his head down, although I could see him grinning at the situation he just walked in on.

  “What the fuck dude? You ever hear of fucking knocking on a closed door? What if she was in here changing or something asshole? You better fucking apologize to the lady! Then you’re going to get your ass back out there and have a fucking seat until I’m ready to leave, you got that,” Tank screamed?

  “Yeah, man. Sorry Breezy, I meant no disrespect,” the prospect said in response before closing the door and heading back to the bar.

  Thank God for small miracles. If he hadn’t just walked in here, there’s no telling how far I would have let him go. I was acting like one of the sluts that hung around the bar waiting to get a piece of one of the guys in the club. That wasn’t me and never would be. I wanted more than just a quickie with Tank, even if he didn’t see that.

  “Now, where were we, babe? Oh yeah, we were right about…” Tank started to say but wasn’t able to finish because I had pushed him out of my space to stand up and fasten my pants.

  “Baby, I’m sorry. I thought I locked the door, but you don’t have to worry bout him coming in here again. He’ll sit at the bar all damn night if he knows what’s good for his ass,” Tank began sprouting.

  I turned to face Tank with a little bite to my words at his comment. “Nothing to be sorry for, baby. It should have never happened, and will not be happening again. I don’t know what I was thinking but, I’m not that type of girl Tank. I don’t just put out in the office of my employment.”

  “Honey, I’ve been watching you since you pulled in this fucked up town. I know you’re not a whore but, I thought from the signals and the flirting you were throwing at me that you wanted this just as much as I did,” Tank countered.

  “Tank, I flirt and carry on with you. Yes, I find you attractive, but I’m not one that just has casual sex. I want it to mean something, not just a quickie on the desk. I’m a relationship type girl not a one-night stand type of girl,” I told him honestly.

  “Baby girl, I know that. I just thought you were making an exception for me is all. Hell, that kiss was more than I ever imagined. If fucking you is half as good as kissing those pouty lips, I’ll die a happy fucking man, sweetheart.”

  “Well, I’m sorry to say that you’ll just have to keep on living. One, I don’t want you dying on me and two, what happened tonight will not be happening again,” I almost yelled being a little pissed at his choice of words. I guess all he’ll ever want from me is what every other girl begs to give him. He’s used to saying a few words, flashing that megawatt smile of his and the girls come running to take care of him.

  “Oh baby, you can play hard to get, but you know just as well as I do that this is going to happen. I think we should just fuck and get it over with. You and me…” Tank started to say before my words cut him off again.

  “I’m a virgin, Tank. Like I said, I don’t have casual sex and no it’s not going to happen. I might not save myself for marriage, but I will save myself for someone who will make an effort. It will be someone who will take me out and show me off. It will be someone who will treat me right! I’m sorry to say that person isn’t you. As much as I would like it to be, we both know you’re not,” I said quieter than when I started. I remained looking at the floor waiting for him to haul tail out of the office. Instead, he stood there looking at me while the word “virgin” sank in. It seemed like an hour passed before Tank took his hand under my chin to raise my face, so I was looking at him.

  “Don’t be embarrassed with me, babe. If I had known that you were that inexperienced, I would have never made the first move. I guess that’s why you haven’t jumped me yet. I thought I was losing my touch with the ladies,” Tank said softly.

  I could feel the tears fighting to be let loose but, I would not embarrass myself any more than I already had. I just remained quiet and stared into his perfect face waiting for him to change the subject.

  “I guess you don’t have anything to say to me. I’m not good with words babe, so I’m sure I’m fucking this up, just know that I respect you and your choices. Don’t ever let anyone make you feel less of yourself because you’ve got standards, babe. I’m just sorry I can’t comply with those standards. When that guy comes along, he’s going to be one lucky son-of-a-bitch, and if he fails in any way, I’ll be the one to put a boot in his ass. Now grab your purse so I can walk you to your truck and we’ll act like this never happened. You can finish up the deposit tomorrow night. You’re tired and I’ve gotta get back to the clubhouse to check in with Axle,” Tank said ending the conversation before placing a sweet kiss on my forehead.

  We walked out of the office to the bar where the prospect was standing by the door with a creepy look on his face. It was a look that sent a shiver down my spine, but I wasn’t about to mention it. I just wanted to get the hell out of there and go home to curl up in my bed. I needed to let myself cry, for what I was certain, I would never have. Yeah, I could have given myself to him and have him for the night, but that’s not what I wanted. I wanted to be the one that had him every night.

  I let him walk me to my truck in silence. Neither one of us said another word about our earlier discretion in the office as he opened and then closed the door to my truck with me situated behind the steering wheel. I gave him the biggest smile I could muster before pulling out of the gravel lot to make my short trip home.

  That night I decided to splurge and buy the puppy I had my eyes on. I had always wanted a dog when I was still living at home with my parents, but they wouldn’t allow it. Since I’ve been out on my own, I didn’t want to spend the money I had been tucking away for a rainy day. That all changed that night. Shortly after walking through the front door of my apartment I was on my laptop firing off an email to the breeder in Rock Hill. I let her know that I would be up on Sunday to pick the little guy up. If I couldn’t have the man I wanted to curl up with every night, at least I would have something to sleep on the empty side of the bed. That something was an English bull mastiff. I didn’t know it that night, but the dog would soon fill a hole I didn’t know I had.

  From the day, I got him; Diesel has been a momma’s boy. Yeah, I’m the cliché. I have a fur baby and couldn’t care less what people must say about it. It was just Diesel and me against the world. His slobbery kisses were all I needed to put a smile on my face.

  Chapter 2

  Breezy

  It was your typical Friday night at the bar. My regulars were perched on their stools waiting for refills while a few newcomers were trying to find a way to get closer to order their drinks. I was so caught up in old man Henry’s order I didn’t notice the crew, I now consider my friends, walk through the door. In true Izzy form, I heard her yell as soon as she broke the threshold of the door, “HOW THE HELL IS EVERYONE? IT’S TIME TO GET MY DRINK ON BITCHES!”

  I just shook my head as I finished up Henry’s tall boy with a shot of Jack on the side before moving to the end of the bar to get my friends orders. I noticed a new face in the crowd tonight. It must be the girl, Avery, everyone has been talking about. Apparently, she’s just come home from a five-year disappearance act with a son that no one knew about. A son, from what I understand that belongs to Axle. I wasn’t one to gossip, but I heard things. I’m sure the girl had her reasons, and I was in no position to pass judgment or even inquire about the situation. Gossip, I’ve come to learn over the last few years, is one of the downfalls of being from a small town. I made a mental note to introduce myself to her before the night was through. I didn’t want her thinking that I fell in with the rest of the townies’ gossip habits.

  By the time ten rolled around, I had mixed several drinks for the ladies of
the club or as they are referred to as, the club princesses. I wasn’t really involved in the MC hierarchy, but the prospect Aaron filled me in a little bit one night while we were closing. From what I was told those who are born into the club are called “club brats” and the daughters were somewhat special. They referred to them as the “club princesses,” which had some clout leaving them higher up than the brother's wives or “Old ladies” but not as high as the members or “Brothers” of the club. Then, of course, they had those who decided to join but weren’t born into it. They were what they referred to as the “stragglers.” It was a lot to keep straight, especially for someone who had never been around a biker, let alone a motorcycle club, before moving to Great Falls. Either way, I enjoyed hanging with all of them even if it was only at the bar for the most part. It’s not that I haven’t been invited to other things, but with my work schedule, it’s always hard to attend all their get-togethers.

  I had just finished pouring a shot for Romy and Avery when I felt the air change around me. He was somewhere close. No matter how much I wish I could turn my hypersensitivity towards him off, I couldn’t. Even though we haven’t said or done anything other than innocent flirting since that night in the office months ago, I still haven’t been able to shut my body off when it comes to him. My head knows that Tank is strictly off limits, yet my body has a mind of its own. Looks like another night with the little vibrating toy I ordered off some website last month. I might still be a virgin, but it doesn’t mean I haven’t learned to have an orgasm. It was a messed-up situation, leaving me to resort to something else because all it takes is that smile from him and my body goes nuts. Some nights it’s all I can do to get home to my little battery-operated toy when he makes an appearance at the bar or even in the morning at the diner. I think I’ve had more self-induced orgasms then most experienced women have had the traditional way. I was lost in thought with my need for my B.O.B. when he slapped his hand on the bar to get my attention.