Finding Me: Dominant Devils Book Three

by H. M. Stewart

  Chapter 5

  Tank

  Throttle and Wall were sitting at the table with Doc and Boomer. There was a bottle of bourbon and four glasses spread out in front of them. I could hear sobbing coming from the living room along with Queenie’s and Momma Bear’s voices trying to comfort who I believed to be Tabby. The tension was thick enough to cut with a knife, but there was no sign of Bree or Axle. Throttle knew me all too well, for he could figure where my head was in just a few seconds I’ve been in the kitchen.

  “The Prez is in with Hunter watching some movie. It’s like he’s waiting for Hunter to freak or something about Avery being gone, but Hunter seems to be handling it better than the rest of us. Your girl is in the den keeping the Lil Diva occupied, and the rest of the bitches are in the basement watching chick flicks with Hyde. She doesn’t seem to be taking her sister’s disappearing act very well,” Throttle told me without even looking up the tumbler holding the amber liquid in front of him. If he was drinking already, I’m sure he isn’t taking Romy’s surprise trip to California well. I’d love to call him out on it in front of everyone, but I can’t bring myself to do it. Not now anyway. If he keeps on taking digs about Bree and me in front of everyone, though, I’ll soon be returning the favor.

  Choosing not to respond to the dig he took referring to Bree as “your girl,” I just wanted to know how’s she was doing. “I get it, but what about how Bree’s taking everything that’s happened to her in the last twenty-four hours. How’s she holding up? Why aren’t the girls surrounding her and including her in the fucking intervention in the basement,” I asked feeling more than a little pissed that everyone had abandoned Bree to deal with shit on her own while watching my niece to boot?

  Wall answers before Throttle can, “that girl must know how to bury shit deep, man. She walked out here this morning like nothing had happened to her. She jumped right in with breakfast and helping with the kids. That’s a strong woman if ya ask me, but still, I assured her that you would be back with her things and the dog before too long. I think she’ll fit right in with the lot of us.” Both Wall and Throttle had a grin on their faces. They think that I’ll finally claim her and settle down. I hate to break it to them, but as soon as the coast is clear, I’ll deliver her back to her apartment. I’ll always look out for her like I do the rest of the women in the club, but things will go back to normal when all this shit is settled. I think.

  “Why don’t you two assholes help me grab her shit from the van then we can talk about what’s happened so far with the girl’s leaving,” I tell them not wanting to get into what was or wasn’t going to be happening with Bree.

  With Wall and Throttle’s help, Bree’s shit was unloaded from the van and carried to the back deck. I wasn’t sure where Carrin was planning on setting her up. More than likely she would be crashing in the basement with the rest of the unattached women of the club, but I wasn’t interrupting the pow-wow they were having downstairs to ask. Once I got all the details on what happened in the few hours I was gone this morning I’d find Bree, and she could get with Carrin about where she would be laying her head. Then I’d get one of the prospects to help carry her shit to whatever room while I went with the guys back over to the clubhouse to deal with the brothers from our sister charters.

  The three of us sit at the picnic table and discuss this morning events with the horse dog curled up by my feet asleep. Without realizing what I was doing, I reached down and scratched behind the dog's ears while Wall informed me that he asked Madison to reach out to Avery’s friend Trevor. It was the only thing he could think of that would help us get a straight answer on Avery and Romy’s safety. “Wasn’t trying to overstep, brother, but with the Prez in flipping his shit and you m.i.a, I figured it was something that needed to be done,” Wall said with a grin as he watched me pet the dog.

  “Thanks, brother. I appreciated it, I do. I didn’t realize I had crashed. I knew I should have just come straight back and dropped the shit off, but I could smell myself,” I answered him ignoring the urge to punch the fucker in the throat for the amusement he was having watching me pet a fucking dog.

  It was time for Throttle to put his two cents in, “Yeah, we wouldn’t you to be less of the pretty boy you are when you saw your woman this morning.” Throttle was laughing before he even finished with Wall joining in.

  “FUCK BOTH OF YOU,” I said louder than what I wanted! I didn’t want these assholes to know they were getting under my skin. The more they knew it annoyed me, the more they would nag me. My words didn’t phase them one fucking bit, though. Both of them continued to laugh for what felt like an hour but was mere minutes.

  When they both seemed to calm down, I spoke again. “Are you fuckers done? Can we get back to the business at hand or do you want to take the comedic tour on the road,” I asked with venom in my voice?

  “Chill the fuck out, big brother! We’re just having a little bit of fun. Hell, no one has ever seen you give a damn about any chick that wasn’t born into the club. You don’t even acknowledge Athena, and she’s been around for a while now. I like Bree. I think she’s just what your ass needs,” Throttle answered me.

  Before I could lash out, the back door opened, and Bree walked out. I couldn’t speak as I soaked up the sight in front of me. One look at her with the oversized clothes, no makeup to hide the bruises on her face and neck with her hair in a sloppy bun made my dick hard as stone, while the rest of my body tensed with rage after seeing the damage those assholes inflicted on her last night. Goddamn, she was beautiful. What I wouldn’t give to have her for just one night, but I couldn’t. Bree deserved so much more than a wicked roll in the sheets with me. She deserved someone who would give her more than that. More than the occasional fuck. As much as I wanted to fool myself into believing I could be that for her, I knew better. Anyone else I wouldn’t give a fuck, but she was too special to be treated the only way I knew how to treat a female. I was determined not to be the selfish bastard that I could be when I wanted something. I wouldn’t do that to her, regardless of what everyone else thought. I’d keep my dick and my hands to myself when it came to her. I’d do that for her. The guys snickering in the background brought me out of my thoughts as I saw the blush creep across her beautiful face. It only lasts a minute before she spoke apprehensively.

  “I’m sorry, guys. I don’t mean to interrupt, but I wanted to talk to Tank for a moment if I could,” she asked politely yet showing no fear when interrupting the three of us discussing what could be considered club business. Wall was right, my girl was a strong woman. The girl before me looks nothing like the scared female that was clinging to me only hours before. Wall’s chuckle and response pulled me out of my thoughts yet again, causing me to stare daggers at his direction.

  “Anything for you, Breezy. Me and Throttle will head in to check on the Prez while you and your man have a chit-chat,” Wall said with a ridiculous grin on his face. He and my brother left us alone on the deck while both of them were still chuckling.

  Bree

  When I woke up this morning, still curled up in Carrin and Zeus’ oversized bed surrounded by most of the women who helped pull me out of my depression last night, my first thoughts were of Tank. Carrin had told me he had insisted on collecting my things from my apartment himself. At first, it warmed my heart that he would take on the task himself but then after I thought of Tank seeing my personal space I began to freak. What would he say when he saw my non-existent wardrobe or everything scattered in my bathroom. What if he found the toy I bought to take care of myself while I thought of him or the panties I secretly bought with hopes that he would be the only other one to see them. Oh God, I won’t be able to look at him after this.

  I decided not to let the thoughts rule my day. Today was a new day, a day that thankfully I was able to wake up too. Some could let the events of last night rule their emotions or force them to retreat inside themselves but not me. If anything the events of last night have not only made me hyper-aware of al
l my surroundings but also realize that life is too damn short. I made the first step to living my life a few years back when I broke free of my parents and now, with what happened last night, I would push myself even more. It’s time that I start doing more of what I want and less of what I think is expected.

  With a determination to not let things rule my life I got up to get my day started. After helping with breakfast and the kids I soon found that I would give anything to stay here. I would love to stay within the folds of this dysfunctional family. I’ve seen how everyone is with one another in public or at the occasional event that I would attend but being here this morning has given me a whole new envy for what they have. The jokes, stolen looks at the ones they love, the slaps of the backs and the unity they display without knowing has me wishing that I grew up on the other side of the tracks. When everyone discovered that Romy and Avery had snuck off to fly to California, it only solidified my thoughts. Every man and woman in this house went into full protective mode worrying about their safety. I knew that every one of these people would move heaven and earth to ensure both of those women’s safe return. When Axle began to lose it, I pulled Carrin aside to let her know that I would take Hunter and Tivie to their room to hang out until things calmed down a bit. I sat on the floor of their bedroom playing with dolls and watching some show about turtles that were ninjas and had a rat for a master. I was so caught up in spending time with the kids that I didn’t hear Axle come in the room.

  “Hunter, really kid? Couldn't you find anything else to watch with Tivie and Bree? You ever think that girls don’t want to watch that stuff, boy,” Axle asked his son?

  “Momma always watches it wit’ me. She loves it like I do, daddy. Can you watch 'em wiff me for a little bit,” Hunter asks? The poor boy knows his momma is gone to his Auntie’s house for a few days but doesn’t grasp the severity of it. His four-year-old mind doesn’t understand that the girls could be in danger. That if the wrong people followed them they might not make it back.

  I looked at Axle to say something but soon choose not to. I knew by the look on his face that he was barely keeping himself together. I don’t want to open my mouth and be the one who sends him into a fit again upsetting the kids in the process. When his eyes meet mine all, I could do was offer a smile. With the silent nod he gave me, I knew it’s his way of thanking me for not addressing the elephant in the room. I decided to change the subject and give the two some time to just be by themselves.

  “How about I take this pretty girl downstairs to play with her dolls and you two guys can stay up here and watch TV together for a bit? If you need me to come back up and sit with him just give me a yell,” I said as I scooped Tivie up in my arms.

  On my way out the door, Axle gently grabbed my arm softly to stop me. “Thank you, Bree. I appreciate everything you’ve done. We’re supposed to be the ones looking after you, not the other way around.”

  “No thanks needed. You all have done enough for me already. I don’t mind it, really. I think the world of these two little ones. I’m here to help if you need me. It’s the least I can do,” I say to the sad face in front of me. Axle doesn’t say anything else as I leave out the door.

  When Tivie and I make our way, downstairs things seemed to have calmed down a bit. Tabby was still upset, and the other women were sitting with her trying to comfort her. With the best smile I could muster, I moved past them towards the den. Once Tivie and I were situated on the floor watching cartoons and playing with dolls, I felt the air shift as someone came through the back door to the kitchen. I knew it was him without even seeing him. I turned the TV down enough to overhear the conversation with the men in the kitchen. I heard Tank ask them to help him get my stuff in the house, which means my furbaby is finally here. I clicked the TV off with the remote and scooped a very sleepy Tivie in my arms to take her to her momma for a little bit. I’m sure that by the time I get her downstairs with the rest of the women, the little girl will curl up and take her afternoon nap.

  With Tivie downstairs in the basement with her momma, I made my way through the kitchen to the back deck. I can hear a few of the guys talking about what has happened since this morning as I stalled at the door. The two older guys must have noticed my hesitation because Boomer was quick to call me out on it. “They won’t bite you, sweetheart. They aren’t talking about anything that you haven’t already heard this morning. Go ahead out and get your stuff, girl. If they can’t help you, I’ll get one of the prospects to carry downstairs for you.”

  I could feel myself blushing as I turned to face the old heads. Boomer was grinning from ear to ear, and Doc even gave me a smirk obviously enjoying my discomfort. “Thank you, Mr. O’shea. I just didn’t want to be rude by interrupting them.”

  “Honey, how many times have I told you to quit that Mr. O’Shea bullshit? Call me Boomer, no one in this family calls me Mr. O’Shea and you, my sweet girl, are a part of this family. Now, go on out there and get them boys moving. If you wait for them to shut their traps you’ll be in the same clothes, this time, tomorrow,” Boomer finishes while laughing to himself.

  “Okay, Mr. O, I mean Boomer,” I almost slip up again as I opened the door. Boomer, along with most of the people here this morning, have kept[HC2] saying that I belong here or that I’m a part of the family, but I’m having trouble accepting that. I don’t mention it, though because I’m sure it would only end with a lecture from him, and I never would make it out to see my dog.

  I opened the door and closed it behind me as three heads turn in my direction. Tank, Throttle, and Wall all look in my direction. Throttle and Wall beginning grinning and laughing like a bunch of kindergarteners while Tank sits with his gaze trained on me. I felt myself blushing but quickly forced it down. I know in my borrowed clothes, bruised face and messy hair I was a sight to look at but I wouldn’t let them see my embarrassment. Digging deep for a bit of courage, I apologized for the interruption before asking to speak to Tank alone. I wanted to thank him for collecting my things and apologize for clinging to him last night without an audience. After Wall had replied with a comment that left me stunned, I watched the two guys head back into the kitchen leaving me alone with Tank on the porch. I was still trying to decipher Wall’s comment about “my man” when I felt the moist nose bump my hand. I looked down to see my fur baby pushing for attention. Instantly I dropped down to my knees and wrapped my arms around my big guy. This rewarded me with one of Diesel’s slobbery kisses that made me laugh. I was lost in the moment of being reunited with my dog when Tank spoke up.

  “Looks like he missed you as much as you did him, babe. I’m sorry we weren’t back sooner, but I stopped over to the clubhouse to shower and fell asleep. I woke up to my phone ringing off the hook and his big ass snoring while drooling on a pillow beside me in bed,” Tank said with a nervous laugh. Not knowing how to deal I decided to come back with a bit of sarcasm. It was the only way I found I could deal with Tank without begging him to take me. Begging him to love me. I thought I wanted him more than I wanted to breathe before, but after the way he took care of me last night, I somehow want him even more.

  “I’m sure it’s not the first time you’ve woke up to someone drooling on your pillow. Just means you’ll have to wash the sheets this time so your fling of the night doesn’t wake up smelling like dog,” I told him with a little laugh. I made sure to focus on the dog wrapped in my arms as I spoke. If I didn’t, I knew I would lose my false courage fast. His next words hurt and I found myself wondering why I wanted to apologize.

  “Yeah, I guess you're right. Your bed smelling like a horse dog isn’t the way to get company to visit it,” Tank said laughing at the turn of conversation.

  I couldn’t speak to Tank without letting the tears burning my eyes loose. Instead, I sat there pulling back from hugging my big guy to rubbing his ears and talking to him like he could answer me. “Did you miss me, big guy? Mommy missed you so much. I’m so sorry I couldn’t come get you.” It rewarded me with yet another s
lobbery kiss. I was determined to give the only guy in my life that loved me all the attention I could while I got my emotions back in check. Tank was still at the picnic table watching me, waiting for my come back to his comment. The look on his face when I finally did seemed to shock him, but I could have cared less at that moment. I needed to cut my heart off if I wanted to survive living under the same roof as him for the unforeseeable future. “Thank you for getting my boy and my things. Hopefully, I won't be a burden too long. I’ll be out of everyone’s hair as soon as you guys finish whatever needs to be taken care of. I really don’t see why everyone feels the need to protect me, but I do appreciate it.”

  “Breezy, you're fine. You’re in no way a burden. In this family, we protect and look out for each other. There isn’t anywhere else you should be right now. Why the hell would you even think you should be? Has anyone been giving you shit today? Just tell me, and I’ll take care of it, babe,” Tank responded.

  “I’m fine, Tank. I don’t need you to solve or fix any of my problems. I’ve been doing just fine on my own until last night, and I’m not going to let that bother me either. I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. I won’t be that stupid again. I don’t want you or anyone else to worry about me. I’m still not sure why I couldn’t just go back home, but I am grateful to be here. Your family is great. Everyone has been super nice today, even with everything going on. With that being said I need to talk to you about something else,” I finished needing to put my anger and hurt aside. I needed to apologize for being such a baby last night. I would always be in his debt for holding me when I had been brought here last night. I know without his arms making me feel safe I would still be a sobbing mess. It wasn’t his fault that I let myself believe that he was doing it because he cared for me the same way I did him.