Finding Me: Dominant Devils Book Three

by H. M. Stewart

  “Well, I guess that’s a question for you, son? If you're planning on doing right by that girl and doing what you should have done when you laid eyes on her four years ago, then yeah some things have come up,” my father asked with a grim look on his face.

  “What exactly are you getting at Pop? Are you trying to tell me you don’t approve of my girl in there? If that’s the case I think we’re gonna have a serious problem,” I threw back at the man I respected more than anything. Even if he was here trying to bust my balls. I hoped this was just his way of fucking with me because I’ve taken too damn long to make Bree mine. If it wasn’t, and he didn’t approve of her, we were going to have some issues. That girl in there was going to be mine whether he approved or not.

  My father must have picked up on my defensiveness kicking in with regards to Bree. He was quick to call me on it. “Easy, boy. First, you need to realize exactly who it is you're talking too and second, I more than approve of you choosing that girl to stake your claim to. What I won’t approve of is you breaking her heart! You are my son and you will always be but if you're not sure about making that girl yours for the rest of your life then you need to back out now. Marks my words, son, not only will I thoroughly kick your ass but you’ll have a few more standing in line to do the same. With her dad gone you’ll have the luxury of dealing with the four fill in daddies to take up for her if you hurt her. Not to mention a psychotic brother that would cut off your balls and feed them to you. Something tells me Wall will be even more protective of this sister than he was with Carrin. He’s had Carrin her entire life to watch over, he doesn’t even know about her yet,” pops stated in a no bullshit tone. My father took a second to calm down a bit before continuing, “all I’m saying is for once think with that muscle in your chest, not the one swinging between your damn legs.”

  “It might have taken me a while to figure out just what the hell I want but rest assured I have no intentions of making Bree just another conquest. If I hurt that girl I’ll deliver myself to the whole club for a beat down. I don’t do the mushy feelings shit any more than you do but I want you to know it’s different when it comes to her. Bree has been reeking havoc in my head for a while now. I’ve just been too damn stubborn to admit it. Been fighting thoughts of a solid future with that girl for years. Now if you’re done, I’m going to try and catch some sleep curled up next to my woman before I have to put my prince charming hat on and whisk her away on my bike to convince her she's mine.”

  My words brought that cheeky grin back to my fathers face. “You do that, boy. Don’t take no for an answer but be ready to put the work in. She’s new to all this shit, yet from what I’ve seen so far she’s got the makings of a kick-ass old lady. With that said you can’t lead her in blind to this shit. I’ll make sure you’re covered for a few hours this afternoon so you’ll have plenty of time to lay it all out for her. Now I’m gonna go find your momma and remind her why I’m the only man she’s ever needed or going to need.” Viking said nothing else; just turned and made his way back into the kitchen leaving me standing alone by the door. I waited, letting my father’s concerns sink in for a few minutes before I turned and let myself back in the living room closing the doors behind me once again.

  I had just closed the french doors to the living room behind me to drown out the rest of the house and sunlight when a heard my woman move to a more comfortable position leaving more than enough space for me to curl up with her.

  I looked to make sure Bree was still sleeping as I wasn’t sure her moving was done out of coincidence or if she intentionally moved to make room for me. Either way, I wasn’t going to pass up on the opportunity to lay beside my woman and catch a few hours of sleep.

  I carefully maneuvered my big ass body behind hers finding that in this position, her back to my front, my girl was made for me. Our bodies aligned perfectly. It was like she was carved out to fit me. Within seconds of me crawling in behind her, I was fast asleep.

  Chapter 13

  Bree

  Sounds of an unfamiliar ringtone pulled me from dreams. It didn’t register at first though. One minute I was lost in the sweet dreams of sleeping in Tank’s arms and the next my ears a ringing because of the incessant buzzing from a phone someone forgot in the living room. I tried to ignore it and pull the comforter over my head to drown out the noise. It felt like I had just closed my eyes. There was no way it was one-thirty yet. The delusional part of my brain decided it was going to block out the noise and snuggling into the warm body wrapped around me. BUMP THE BRAKES….. warm body wrapped around me.

  Part of me wanted to scream at the top of my lungs, I mean come on, I just realized there was a human furnace cocooned around me. I would say a male body at that. Not only could I feel the solid muscled arm under my neck and laying on my hip but there was something else that easily gave it away. Either I fell asleep with the remote under that covers again or a certain part of the male anatomy was awake and trying to poke a hole thru the thin layer of clothing I had on. I may still be a virgin but I wasn’t a naïve one. My heart started to race as I was beginning to freak out when I heard the sleepy voice that went with the hard body lying next to me.

  “It’s ok baby; it’s just me. You beat me to my secret spot to sleep, so I figured I’d join you. This chair is plenty big enough for the both of us. Don’t think I’ll ever be able to sleep in this damn thing without you from now on,” Tank said from behind me still half asleep.

  I was frozen as I reran his words through my head. He called me baby, not babe. He’s talking about sleeping with me again. For the love of God, he has me wrapped up in his arms and his leg intertwined with mine. My first thought was that I was still sleeping and this was just an extended version of the reoccurring dream I keep having. That thought flew out the window when he moved to pull me in closer. It was like he couldn’t get me close enough and I’ll admit, it felt good. So good in fact that I let all the negative thoughts leave my mind and just take in the moment. I wasn’t sure if and when I would get to do this with him again so my intention would be to take it while I could.

  I let myself relax into his warm hold while I absent-mindedly began to trace the outline of the tribal tattoo on his forearm. I was content just laying there with him for the rest of my life if he’d let me. He, on the other hand, had other plans.

  Carefully he pulled his arm away to reach behind him to silence his phone but not before placing a quick soft kiss at the base of my neck. With his phone alarm now turned off he lightly placed his hand back on my hip before giving me the words I needed to get up and face the world. “Baby, as much as I would love to stay here with you, we need to get up and get moving. I promised you a ride today and we’ve got a few things we need to discuss. I got a lot I need to set straight with you that have been long overdue,” he finished as he began to get up. I immediately felt the loss of him, but I wasn’t going to let it get me down. He was still planning on taking me for a ride which meant I’d spend a few hours curled around him. I was curious to see if it’s as intimate and exciting as the rest of the girls in the group have explained to me.

  I remained silent as I was a loss for words. I didn’t want to say anything that would embarrass myself or something that would have him change his mind about our little ride together. I wasn’t exactly sure what it was he wanted to talk to me about. For all I know this could be him letting me down easy. It hurt to think it but I'll try to do my best not to let it get to me. I plan on enjoying the few stolen moments having him all to myself, even if they would be short-lived.

  By now Tank was now standing looming over me. I was still laying with my back to him. Even though I couldn’t see him, I could still feel his eyes on me. It was time for my new found courage to kick in. I had a feeling that he would stand there all day and stare waiting for a response from me if I didn’t say something. With as much bravado as I could muster I slowly raised from the lounge taking big stretch with my back still to him. I tried to push down the rising panic of
him seeing me in my tank and sleep shorts with my haphazard messy bun to no avail. I could feel my face starting to flush. I was embarrassed and nervous all at the same time. Maybe if I spoke and kept my back to him he wouldn’t have to see me this way. I could get him out of the room, wrap myself in my fleece blanket and sneak down to the basement to ready myself for the day. At least that was the plan anyway. A plan that got blown right out of the water when he moved around the chair to stand in front of me.

  Like always, I tried to hide my embarrassment but looking down to the ground while I folded my arms over my enormous chest to hide the fact that my nipples were hard enough to cut through glass at the moment. I was looking down at the carpet like it was the most wonderful thing in the world when Tank gently used his hand under my chin to raise my face to a point where we were staring each other in the eye.

  “Eyes to me, Bree. You going to tell me whats going on in the pretty head of yours or are you going to leave me to guess,” Tank asked softly?

  With a little more force than I wanted I jerked my head from his hands and stepped back from him. I needed space to collect myself before I started spewing all my insecurities to him. He, on the other hand, wasn’t having it. “You can scoot across the room like a wounded bird all you want but you’re going to tell me why you won't look me in the eye babe. You can either talk to me and get it over with or we can do the Mexican standoff thing if you want. I would prefer you just tell me so we can get on with the rest of our day but mark my words honey I’m even more stubborn than you are. So why don’t you just tell me what the hell your thinking!”

  The last of his words had a slight bite to them causing my temper to flare a bit. I swung my glare towards him and proceeded to tell him just what was on my mind. “You really wanna know what I'm thinking or are you just playing games with me again? Nothing about me has changed since the last time you thought you could get close to me? My virtue still being intact seemed to be a deal breaker that last time you tried to lure me in. Newsflash, it hasn’t changed! My self-esteem can’t take another blow from you buddy! I struggle enough trying to convince myself that I’m good enough attract someone like you. I’m never going to be a stick figure, I’ve come to grips with that. So I’m sorry my mind is spinning with your actions over the last twenty hours or so,” I screamed at him only to find him chuckling to himself.

  What started out as a slight chuckle turned into a full belly laugh. “You done putting me in my place now,” he choked out in between laughs. He really was a jerk and I was done with allowing myself to feel inferior. I turned on my heel and make a beeline for the door. Just before I was able to turn the handle to the French doors of the living room I felt a strong arm come around my waist pulling me back halting me in my tracks.

  “Where in the world do you think you're going sexy,” he spoke sternly but softly in my ear.

  “I’m getting the hell away from you! You want to laugh at me at least wait until I’m out of the room. I get it, I’ll never be what you want or good enough to be yours, but you don’t have to keep playing me like a yo-yo. Unlike you, I’ve got a heart and I’m tired of you breaking it! Now let me go you big jerk!”

  I felt him freeze as I scolded him for making me feel like this. He stood behind me with his arm wrapped around my waist for what felt like forever before he finally responded. “Is that what you think? You think you’re not what I want? You think I haven’t been battling my own feelings because I know I’m not good enough for you; that your just a game to me?”

  I wasn’t exactly sure how to answer him. He sounded defeated like I was the one ripping his heart out and dancing on it. Not the other way around. Something in my gut told me he would stand there holding me to him until I answered him. “I don’t know what to think. You haven’t given me any inclination that you wanted me for anything other than sex. You and I both know I’m not that girl, Tank. I’d like to tell you I could be your casual hook up when you need it but we both know that would be a lie.”

  Tank took the time to turn me so we were facing each other. Out of habit, I looked down at my chest, not making eye contact with him. Yet again, he used his callused fingers to tilt my chin so I had no choice but to look him in the eye. “Eyes to me, Breezy. When we're talking don’t you ever feel like you can’t look me in the eye. I will never intentionally hurt you or degrade you. Hell, I’d kick any fuckers ass that would try that shit. You’re safe with me, baby. I will always have your back. Now, I have no intention of having this little heart to heart when there are so many nosey ass people floating around. We’ve got shit to discuss, no doubt about it. That’s why I wanted to take you out for a ride this afternoon. Figured we could ride to the other side of the falls where we could have a little privacy while we hashed shit out. I won’t risk taking you too far without back up or we would be riding out to Myrtle Beach or something. So I’ve gotta ask you, are you okay with tabling this conversation long enough to get out of this place?”

  “I guess so. I don’t like the uneasy feeling I have right now about this conversation but it would be nice to have the privacy,” I responded honestly.

  “Good, baby. Now run downstairs and get some clothes on. As much as I like seeing your body falling out of you tank-top and boy shorts I would prefer not to kill one of my brothers for looking at you or saying something slick. I’ll give you thirty minutes and then I’m coming after ya. Mark my words, I’m not afraid to drag your ass out of that basement kicking and screaming,” Tank told me in the most threatening sweet voice I think I’ve ever heard before taking my head between both of his hands to place a soft kiss on my forehead.

  “Clocks ticking, baby. You might want to get a move on,” he mumbled against my skin. I said nothing in return just nodding as I step away. I could feel his eyes on me the entire time it took me to walk out of the room. Once I thought I was in the clear I raced to the door leading to the basement. Thankfully I didn’t pass anyone milling around as I wasn’t sure I was ready for any question they would throw my way.

  I tiptoed down the steps to the basement in case the girls were still sleeping. The room was empty with the exception Romy. She was still curled up in the bed to the right of the room with the tv remote in hand. Her favorite reality show, Ink Divas, was playing softly. I know for a fact Romy watches this show religiously. I was careful not to disturb her as I went about finding something to wear. I was getting frustrated with the fact that all my clothes made me look like a tomboy I didn’t notice Romy walk up beside me.

  “Whatcha doing, sweets? You look like you wanna set that pile of clothes on fire.”

  “OH, MY GOODNESS!! Romy, you trying to give me a heart attack,” I said jumping back after she startled me. “I’m just trying to find something to wear. Momma Bear and Tabby were supposed to be taking me shopping for a new wardrobe when we got back and with the turn of events I don’t think that will be happening for a while.”

  “Why are you so worried about something to wear around the house chick. It’s not like we’re headed out anytime soon. I think your yoga pants and tee-shirt will be just fine for a day lounging around the house. What’s the big deal, love,” Romy questioned me not realizing I was on the verge of a meltdown.

  I didn’t want to cry but as hard as I tried not to my emotions took over. I know I sounded like a high strung teenager with my next outburst but for the life of me I couldn’t reign it in. “Tank has given me less than thirty minutes to get myself ready. Apparently, he’s planning on the two of us going for a ride to be able to talk in private. I have no idea what he has planned but I’ve never ridden on the back of a motorcycle before, especially not his. I don’t want to embarrass him with me riding around on the back. I’m not exactly his normal biker chick material,” I spit out so fast it took a minute before Romy was able to catch on to what I was feeling.

  Romy said nothing as she went for her phone. I wasn’t sure who she called just heard the words she spoke into the speaker before hanging up. “Need some help down here
. Our girl Bree is about to take her first ride and doesn’t have anything worthy to wear.” She left me staring at her retreating back as she dashed into the connecting bathroom. After a moment or two of cupboard doors opening and closing, she returns with her cosmetics bag. “Sit down on the chair over there. I’ll get your hair ready while we wait for your clothes.”

  Feeling overwhelmed with emotion I said nothing. I nodded and moved towards the chair in the corner. I trusted her to know what to do even though I really didn’t have a choice. In less than twenty minutes Tank would be barging down here to drag me out to the bike. I had no time to protest. Like a good little girl, I sat quietly as Romy ran a brush through my hair. The only thing she asked was, “one or two braids chick.” I still couldn’t speak for the fear of becoming a crying mess so I just raised one finger indicating one braid.

  Romy set to work french braiding my hair and was just putting in the hair tie when I heard the door from the upstairs open and slam shut. Two sets of footsteps came rushing down the steps as Romy proceeded to wrap a long black skull scarf around my head leaving it tied at the base of my neck. She tapped me on the shoulder before telling me to turn around so she could do my make up. I stole a glance around Romy’s tiny frame to see who was coming to my rescue. Maddison and Momma Bear were spreading clothes out on the bed while Romy applied my foundation.

  “Thank you,” I whispered to the redhead in front of me.

  “No worries beautiful. Will have that man of yours eating out of your hand. Just sit back and trust us to take care of you. We’ll have you looking and feeling like the biker bitch Barbie you want to be in no time,” Romy said with a wink.

  When Romy finished with my hair and makeup I chanced a look at the clock. I had seven minutes before my time was up. I wanted to panic! I’d never be ready in time. I haven’t even had a chance to try on or look at what the girls had brought down. Momma Bear must have sensed my unease. She was the first one to speak up. “Don’t get all shy on me now, girl. I’ve never stirred you wrong. You just gotta trust us on this one. Now go put these on and don’t argue with me. All we gotta find now are shoes. What size are you?”