Finding Me: Dominant Devils Book Three

by H. M. Stewart

  “Oh God yes! I’ve been waiting so long for my first ride, Tank. I’m so freaking excited,” my girl answered with yet another megawatt smile on her beautiful face.

  “Hold on to me. I don’t have a sissy bar on this thing yet and I don’t want to throw you off the back. I’ll take it easy at first until you get used to it, just follow me. If I lean you lean, it’ll come naturally, babe.” I didn’t give her a second to argue as I spoke the last words. I pulled the clutch to kick the bike into gear while I twisted the throttle a few times for good measure before releasing the clutch to ease our way down the drive way to the road. Once we were on the road I decided to take the long way around, headed back in town and up the backside of the hills to the falls. I wasn't sure how this night was going to end and I wanted to savor her body pressed against mine for as long as I could.

  Chapter 14

  Bree

  When Tank made a left out of the driveway headed back towards town I felt a little unease setting in. I was worried what people of the town would say seeing me on the back of his bike. I wasn’t sure what the whole “we need to talk” thing was about but after being on the back of his bike for a whopping five minutes I already had a good idea, or at least I hoped I did. The girls weren’t kidding about the level of intimacy involved when you ride with someone you have feelings for. If my gut was right, then our conversation might just lead to a happy ending after all. When we stopped at the only stoplight in town Tank took his one hand off the handle bars to gently pat and rub my leg while the onlookers on the sidewalk gawked at us. With my sunglasses on, they couldn’t see me stealing looks while some of them smiled at us while a few others, women particularly, sneered. I wanted to turn and stick my tongue out at them letting them know that I was the one on his bike today, but I wasn’t one to gloat.

  When the light turned green he gave me one more pat on the leg before placing his back to the bars to work the clutch. I curled myself into his muscled body as he effortlessly worked his way through the gears of the bike. Although I was merely a passenger I couldn’t help but feel like I was a part of him. It’s a feeling I would never be able to explain but I can honestly admit I’ve found my new happy place, right here on the back of his bike moving down the road feeling like we are one entity.

  I was so lost trying to savor the feelings and emotions swarming my body I lost complete track of time. The slowing of the bike brought me back to reality just in time for him to turn the bike down the trail that I knew all too well lead to a beautiful clearing overlooking the falls. You could see the tip of the house peeking out through the trees and the property that ran parallel with the clearing. I held on as tight as I could while he maneuvered the bike down by the lone picnic table that overlooked the falls. He came to a stop with the bike still running and seemed to be waiting for something. Without words, he tapped my leg signally for me to dismount my new found happy place. Like a good little girl, I obliged him. While he worked on getting the bike situated I removed the borrowed helmet as I took a seat on top the picnic table and waited for him to join me.

  It seemed like it took forever before he killed the motor and swung his tree trunk of a leg around to unmount the two-wheeled machine. He was close enough for me to hold the helmet out for him to place in a safe spot on the bike. When he gave it to me earlier it looked to have been resting on the fuel tank, but I wasn’t going to be the one to put it there. If there’s one thing I’ve picked up from the club over the last few years, it’s that they are very protective of their bikes. I wasn’t going to ruin the day by accidentally scratching his pride and joy.

  He cautiously took the helmet and moved to place it over the license plate before standing to off at the view of the falls. If I didn’t know any better, I would think that Tank was just as nervous as me. I waited a few minutes for him to get his thoughts together before I broke the ice. Out of character for me I know but the suspense was killing me. “Well, we’re here. You going to put me out of my misery and tell me why it was so important for us to have some privacy while we talked?”

  Tank turned to look at me with a look I’ve never seen before. He was unsure of his self and looked slightly scared. So maybe my gut was wrong about the conversation he was so insistent that we have today. Maybe he didn’t mean to parade me through town for the world to see. My gut was telling me I wasn’t going to like the words he was forming in his head, that this was his way to let me down easy, so when he finally broke the silence I was in total shock.

  “I want you, Breezy. I want you more than anything I’ve ever wanted in this lifetime but,” I didn’t give him a chance to finish before I finished for him.

  “But You can’t have me, right? You think that I’ll embarrass you in more ways than one. I’ll embarrass you because I’m not the stick figure Barbie’s you're used to playing with or I’ll embarrass you because I’m too timid to handle you or the guys! Newsflash buddy, I might not be as pretty and skinny as everyone else around this club, but I do have some good qualities and if you don’t think I have what it takes to put up with the brash and boldness you tough guys like to protrude your crazy. I’ve been dealing with it every day and night for the better part of four years. If I haven’t been scared off yet I don’t think it’s going to happen there, tough guy. Stop making excuses. Either take me as I am or let me be, but I can’t take this anymore,” I’m screamed. My blood was boiling and that inner courage I’ve been growing inside me is out to play today. I’m done with pining away for someone who is too scared or embarrassed to have me. I deserve better than this, heck maybe I’ll just pack up and head out West with Madison when she leaves for school in a few months.

  “You need to stop putting words in my mouth woman and let me finish. I can’t say I don’t like this new-found attitude you’ve been throwing around, cuz dammit I do, but you need to table that shit for a different time. I don’t do feelings and mushy shit but I’m trying here, babe. Cut me some slack, will ya?” I snapped my mouth shut and just stared in awe as Tank moved to sit beside me. Taking a step back and soaking in the vibes he was putting off I started to feel bad for snapping at him. He was totally out of his element. I decided to just sit back and listen.

  “Sorry, Tank. I promise to sit back and let you get out whatever it is you gotta get off your chest before I open my mouth again. So, let me have it,” I say urging him to continue as I turned my head to look at him.

  I stared at the side of him while he looked straight ahead and began to speak again. “When you first showed up here I knew you would be something different. I knew that you would be someone who would shake shit up around here. At first, I admit, I thought you were here to invade the club in some way; spoiled little girl looking for a rebellious way to get back at her folks. You’d be surprised how many uptight bitches wanna party and lay with a dirty old biker, babe.”

  He turned to look at me finally before he went on with his spiel, “I know now that’s not what you were after. Truth is I think I knew it all along, but I didn’t want to believe it. I still don’t understand why such a wholesome pure woman like you would want to center herself around the likes of my club. I’m not saying we’re bad people, but most people judge us before getting to know us. It’s a lot easier for the world to see my family as a bunch of tattooed loud mouth criminal degenerates rather than the loyal hardworking people we are. It’s why we are so close knit and keep outsiders at arm’s reach, yet somehow some way you managed to infiltrate a club full of bad asses and wrap them around your pretty little finger.”

  “Thank-you, I think. I think the world of everyone in your family, Tank. I’ve never judge any of them. Honestly, I envy what you all have. I’ve never had that before,” I answer him.

  “Baby, you do have it. Can’t you see that? The women of the club have taken you in as one of them and the brothers would die before they would let anything happen to you. You belong here, with us, with me dammit. We’re not leaving here until you understand that. I know I haven’t made myself c
lear to you as to what I wanted from you and you don’t know how sorry I am for that. Please believe me when I say I never wanted to fuck with your head, let alone make you feel like you weren’t good enough for me. It’s just the opposite, baby. I’m the one who’s not good enough for you. I don’t deserve to call you mine and I’ve tried to my damnedest to push you away because I don’t want to taint you in any way.”

  I was shocked to my core. “Why in the world would you think you would taint me, Tank. You are one of the hardest working loyal people I know. Even if you’ve been keeping me at arm’s reach I know without a doubt you will always be there for me. It’s the reason when I was attacked I only wanted you. I’ve only wanted you and to be something to you.”

  “Baby, you are something to me. You’ve been something to me for a long ass time now. I’ve just been too fucking stupid to act on it. That ends today, though. I want you with me, Bree. I want to be the one who keeps a smile on your face. I want to be the one you come running to when the weight of this fucked up world is too much for you to handle. I want to be the one you kiss in the morning and at night. I want you branded with my mark and my patch on your back. I’ve waited too fucking long, fighting it at every turn. I just hope I’m not too late. I just want you, babe,” he finished before pulling me to him for a savory kiss. With his hands on each side of my face keeping my lips smashed to his, my bravado takes over. My hands go straight to his hair pulling to get him closer to me.

  In that moment, I felt as if I could crawl inside his skin. It still wouldn’t be close enough for me. What started as a meaningful kiss turned in those of unadulterated passion. It was sloppy with tongues following in and out of each other’s mouths while we nipped at each other’s lips. He let go of my face to pull me over his lap never breaking the kiss. With me straddling legs he used his hands to feel my exposed skin leaving it on fire as he moved across it. My whole body was on fire with his touch wanting and needing every part of him touching me. I could feel his arousal through two layers of jeans as I’m sure he could feel the heat coming from between my legs. This man is the only one I’ve ever encounter that I lose every bit of control around. It may be my first time, but I would care one iota if he stripped me bare right here on this picnic table in broad daylight to have his way with me. If fact, it’s the only thing I could think of when I felt him pulling back from me. I struggled to keep his lips to mine but in the end, he was so much stronger than me and I lost the battle.

  “Easy, baby. I’m losing every bit of my self-control and I’m trying to do things with you the right way. The way you deserve, and you deserve so much more than a quick fuck on this nasty ass table.”

  His words were like throwing a bucket of ice water on me. Try as I might I still couldn’t keep thoughts of him not wanting me from filling my brain. I know he just told me and showed me that he wanted me but for the life of me thoughts of not being good enough were taking over. I tried to unwrap myself from him with no avail. He made sure to keep me rooted on his lap as he got his breathing under control. When my self-conscious kicked in I immediately looked down at my chest. I was shocked to see he was panting just as hard as I was, that I was capable of getting him just as worked up as he did to me.

  “Eyes to me, Breezy. Don’t look away from me, baby. I meant what I said, you deserve more than this. You’ve thought for too long that I only want you for sex and I plan on proving you wrong. Make no mistake my beautiful girl, I will have you soon. Every inch of you will know what you are to me, MINE!”

  “You really want me? You’re not just saying this to get in my pants,” I question him as I search his eyes for any hint of lies and found none. He was being honest with me. My heart did a flip-flop because it knew what he said was true. Before I knew it, I could feel my face turn into the biggest smile I’ve ever given before. I felt like the kid that finally got the Red Ryder bee-bee gun at Christmas.

  “My girl is finally getting it,” he says with a smile to match my own. “Is it finally sinking in that I want every part of you. You’ve been wreaking havoc on my mind for so damn long, girl. We’re going to go slow, baby, but you are mine just as I am yours.”

  Sheepishly I admit, “I’ve been yours for a long time now, Tank. You’re the only one who has ever made me feel alive. I’ve wanted to hear you say those words for so long now it just doesn’t seem real. You’ve gotta be patient with me. It’s going to take a while before I’ll be able to push all the doubts out of my head. My whole life I’ve been made to feel like I was too fat or stupid to have the things I’ve wanted. When you say those things to me I feel like I can take on the world.”

  “Oh, baby, you can take on the world with me and your family at your back. You’ll never face anything alone again. I’ll not stand for anyone making you feel any less than the sexy goddess you are. You have no idea how many punches I’ve thrown over the last two years alone because someone has said something about this luscious body that is mine and mine only.”

  He’s nuts. There’s no way he’s done anything of the sort. When I start to giggle his face changes into a predatory mask that even scares me a bit. If I didn’t know without a doubt he would never hurt me I would be shaking in my boots instead of laughing at the absurdness he was spewing. As if?

  Tank

  That’s it, my girl has finally snapped. She’s definitely off her rocker. I’m pouring my fucking heart out and she’s laughing at me. What in the ever-living fuck is going on?

  “You wanna tell me what’s so damn funny, babe? I mean I’m lost here,” I said with a little bite.

  As she tries to get her laughing under control she manages to question me. “Just find it funny you want to try and boost my ego. I find it flattering but I don’t think you’ve had to pummel anyone on my part, bud.”

  Before she even gets the last word out I take her head in my hands with enough force to show I’m being serious before looking her in the eye to defend my statement. “Oh, honey, you have no idea do you. Sometimes I forget just how innocent you are. It wasn’t long ago, back when you were still working at the bar, I would sneak into the table in the back and just watch you work. I’ve dealt with a few assholes that got a little too handsy for my liking. I’d sit back and wait for them to leave before I would introduce myself in the parking lot. Hell, just a few days ago I had Blaze by the throat because of the crack he made about you in that little bikini you were rocking. I was ready to beat all their asses just for looking at the pictures Romy was sending everyone,” I threw back at her. The laughing stopped instantly and I wanted to elaborate on what happened to the assholes that attacked her just to drill home how much she meant to me, but I refrained myself. I still haven’t gotten to the part of the conversation of what being mine entails yet. I didn’t want to send her running just yet. Sex wasn’t the only thing that I was going to take slow with her. Easing her into the other sides of club life would take some time as well. Plus, I wasn’t sure how tonight was going to go. The bylaws allow her more privileges as a club princess that those for an oldlady. I’d wait to get into details when the club decided to let her in on who she really was to this club.

  “Why would you do such a thing? I can take care of myself, Tank. You don’t need to put yourself in danger over me. I didn’t realize Romy was sending pictures to everyone,” Bree answered shyly.

  “Baby, there are a few things that you need to understand when it comes to being my oldlady. If there is anyone who causes you hurt or gives you any less than the respect you deserve I will always be there to handle it, along with the rest of the club. As an oldlady, you are to be given and treated with the highest respect. Any disrespect to you is a disrespect to the club. On the flip side to that, once we have made it official, as an oldlady you must show that same respect. There will be situations when you’ll want to lash out and speak your piece but when you’ve got my patch on you gotta act right. Not so much with our charter per say but when we have visiting charters or when we are out in public you will have to con
duct yourself in a way that reflects on the club and each of its members. I’m not saying you ever would disrespect anyone, but you also have to show no weakness.”

  “Tank, I’m working on being more outgoing and confident. It’s going to take time, but I don’t think I’ll ever be as bold as Madison or even Momma Bear. I can only hope to have an inch of confidence those women have.”

  “You’ll get there, baby. The key is to know that no matter what comes crashing down around you there will always be people that have your back. The club is your family and we will be there for you. Just like when someone needs your help you will be there for them. You already do that now, woman. When we get back I’ll make sure the girls give you the low down on things. You’ve seen it enough over the years it shouldn’t be too much for you to take in. The main thing is I’m your man and everyone will know it. They will know it because I’ll beat the fuck out of anyone who tries to get slick or touch what’s mine. That also goes both ways. The world will know that I’m yours and they will keep their hands to themselves or you will be within your right to deal with it how you see fit. Fuck, I’ll probably deal with that too. The only one I want to touch me from here on out is you. It’s a lot to take in but I’m hoping that you will trust me enough to take the leap, babe.”

  I could see my girl was still skeptical of what I was trying to drill into her beautiful skull. I’d give her a few minutes to let things sink in before I pushed her any further. We still had about an hour before we would need to be headed back so, for now, I plan on doing something I’ve never done with anyone but her. I was going to hold my girl until she was ready to talk some more. Bree was still on my lap straddling me, so I used the opportunity to pull her close and let her head rest on my chest. I was out of my element with the whole comforting thing but for her, I would give it a shot.

  I sat with my girl in my arms and stroked her back while I whispered anything that popped into my head. “My girl, my woman, you are the hottest thing I’ve ever seen. You're all mine, baby. I can’t wait to curl up next to you after a long ass day. Just knowing you’ll be waiting for me will be enough for me to deal with the shit floating around the club. I’ll do whatever I can to keep you safe and happy, baby. This is just the beginning of a long ass ride for both of us.”