Nox (Untamed Sons MC Book 2)

by Jessica Ames

  Lucy is sitting cross-legged on the bed, a book in her hands. Her eyes flare as she takes me in.

  “What’s going on?” she demands, her gaze darting around.

  I stare at her, trying to see through her façade, trying to see if she’s pulled up the perfect wall that fooled me—fooled us all.

  “Natasha.” I say the name with bite in my tone that I can’t stop. It tastes sour on my tongue, like ash and filth, but as soon as I say it, I know the name is hers.

  She jolts, then all the colour drains from her face as she scrambles off the bed, putting it between us.

  “What?” Her voice is barely verbalised as she stares at me in horror. All pretence is gone.

  I cross the distance between us, my body shaking, vibrating my very molecules. I cage her in with my arms.

  “Are. You. Natasha?”

  It comes out low, every word pronounced. I need her to tell me I’ve got this fucking wrong, that I didn’t go against my club for a lying cunt.

  Her tongue slips out and wets her bottom lip, her chest heaving as she tries to draw in air.

  “Where did you hear that name?” she whispers and I see genuine fear dancing in her eyes.

  Going to war with Isaac Blackwood could tear the club apart and if she is this Natasha bitch, she brought this down on our heads.

  Fury burns through me at this thought.

  She lied.

  To me, to Sasha, to everyone, and fuck if that doesn’t make my hands shake, and my stomach fill with fire. Lying is one thing I can’t fucking stand.

  “Leon Gregory and Elijah Elliot just dropped by and threatened the club if we don’t bring ‘Natasha’ out, so I’ll ask you again, are you Natasha?”

  I expect blankness on her face, but she clearly recognises the names because she flinches. I know a thing about lying and I know about liars. She’s a lying bitch.

  Lucy Franklin is Natasha.

  And Natasha is linked to Isaac Blackwood.

  It wasn’t Hank they targeted. Titch was right. It was fucking Lucy.

  Fuck.

  19

  Lucy

  My world is unravelling. Nox is furious. I can see it in the tight set of his shoulders, in the line of his mouth and the way it’s white around the edges, and the fact he keeps clenching his fists at his sides. I don’t think he’d hit me, he’s not that kind of man, but I’d deserve it if he did. I brought shit down on his club, his family, shit that can’t be undone. To be honest, I would rather he did hit me than face his disappointment. Pain I can deal with. I’m used to it, but the broken look of betrayal on his face shreds me.

  I try to control my breathing, to keep myself calm, but I’m coming apart at the seams. This is not how I planned on this happening. When my secrets came undone, I expected to be far away from here. I thought I would have distance between me and the Sons, between me and my shame. I didn’t expect to face my lies head on.

  A slither of guilt crawls up my spine and the filth of my actions coats me. Nox is tearing me apart. The disdain on his face cuts like a knife through my gut.

  Fear hits me in the stomach as Rav and the other brothers crowd into the room behind him, my eyes moving over the enormous Fury, whose veins are standing out from his thick, uninked arms, and the snarling Daimon who is peering at me through shaggy hair. Levi and Titch don’t look any less frightening, their mouths pulled into angry snarls, and Whizz, who had fixed me up after I crashed looks positively homicidal.

  Fuck.

  I spent so much time running from Isaac that I didn’t think anything could be worse than his wrath. This new demon I’m staring in the face is worse, and not because of my fear—although I am afraid—but because I feel the weight of my betrayal pressing down on my shoulders.

  My arms wrap around my body as if I can protect my shattering heart. I can’t. It’s breaking into a million pieces right now.

  I stare at these heavily armed men, my pulse galloping in my chest as they glare at me like I’m the enemy.

  I’ve made my peace with dying many times in the past, but after finding Nox and tasting how good life can be, I’m not ready for it to end. Things are getting good and that’s mostly because of the man standing in front of me, who is now looking at me with disgust that scores a hole in my chest.

  I close my eyes, letting a lone tear streak down my cheek.

  “Lucy, are you Natasha?” Nox snaps out with heat in his words that makes my belly fill with ice. He knows the truth, but he needs the words from me. I see the plea in them to just be his Lucy, and fuck, I wish I was.

  I don’t want to give them, but what is the point of lying? Everyone knows my secret now.

  “Yes,” I gasp out. “I am.”

  I watch as Nox’s jaw tightens. Then he up-ends the nearest object, a chest of drawers, with a roared “Fuck!”

  I jolt back, letting another tear fall as my world comes apart. For the first time in a long time, I felt like I was home, like I had family, people who cared. My lies destroyed that. I should have left straight away. I should have carried on running. I shouldn’t have let my guard down around a man as dangerous as Nox.

  I did, though.

  Why?

  Because I wanted a slice of what Sasha had. I wanted people who cared about me, who would go to the edge of the world for me, who would stand up to my bullies.

  I was stupid thinking that would happen. Unlike Sasha, I’m not part of their world. I’m here because of her, and that branch they held out to me has now been snapped.

  “You fucking lied to me,” he growls, striding over to the bed and leaning on it so he can get in my face.

  I flinch, swallowing down my fear, my sense of injustice. I didn’t want this life. I didn’t want to be Isaac’s property. I wanted to be free, but my freedom came at a cost.

  For the club.

  Isaac will send more men now he knows I’m here. Hell, for all I know he could be waiting at the gate for Nox to send me out. If it comes down to it, they’ll hand me over to save themselves, and I wouldn’t blame them. I’m no one to them, and I fucking lied.

  “I’m sorry,” I murmur.

  “You’re fucking sorry?” Nox hisses at me. “Is that supposed to fix this shit?” He scrubs a hand over his jaw. “I went up against my fucking brothers. I claimed you as mine. Do you know what that fucking means?” He shakes his head. “You’re a fucking lying cunt.”

  “What’s your link to Blackwood?” Rav demands, and I watch Nox flinch from his voice, turning his head as if too ashamed to look at his best friend.

  I swallow hard and shift my eyes to Ravage. The man scares me half to death, but I steel my spine anyway. Showing fear is something I can’t afford even though I’m petrified. I glance at Nox again, a tear burning down my cheek. My next words will destroy everything.

  “He’s… he’s my husband.” I shouldn’t tell them this. They might think to use me as leverage against Isaac, but what choice do I have? Spill the truth now, or spill it later under duress. I know what men like this will do to get their answers. I’d seen Isaac do it first hand and the club won’t let me walk free without answers.

  Nox’s eyes flare and I see the unbridled rage in them. I watch the man who made love to me disappear, watch something inside him break. His head shakes, as if he doesn’t want to hear the words.

  “His wife…” It sounds strange on his tongue and I steel myself as something dark in his eyes comes to the forefront. “You’re fucking married to that psychopath?”

  I swallow down my bile, his words making my skin crawl.

  “Yes.”

  He growls. “What was this to you? A way to piss off your old man? You put me in a position where I touched another man’s property! I can’t fucking undo that!”

  Property. That’s all I’ll ever be. Someone owned by someone else. I’ll never be free.

  I lift my chin and snap out, “I’m no one’s property.”

  “You belong to Isaac fucking Blackwood.” He reaches under
his kutte and pulls out his gun. I jolt, but he doesn’t aim it at me. He throws it at me and I catch it instinctively and awkwardly, the metal heavy in my hands.

  He opens his arms wide, invitingly. “Take your fucking shot.”

  My heart stops. I shake my head. “What? No, never.”

  He glares at me like I’m a stupid little girl.

  “You put a price on my head the moment you let me between your fucking legs, so why not finish the fucking job yourself?”

  “No, Nox.” I grab his arm and he shrugs free of me. “Please, I didn’t do this to hurt anyone. I was scared.”

  “You should be scared,” Ravage says. “Your husband is one of the worst mobsters in the whole of London and we’ve stoked the fucking fire here.”

  I jump back as he swears. Then he punches the dry wall hard enough to put his fist through it. Shaking the plaster off his cracked knuckles, Ravage snaps out, “Church now.” He points at Whizz. “You stay on this bitch. Don’t let her out of your fucking sight.”

  The doctor nods and moves in front of me, crossing his arms over his broad chest as the other brothers file out of the room. Nox gives me a look of disgust.

  I sink back onto the bed and let my eyes close as dismay fills my veins. I never wanted to hurt Nox, but this is exactly why I shouldn’t have let myself get close. I should have kept my distance, kept feelings out of this. Now, he thinks I’ve deceived him. I have, but not how he thinks. If only he knew the truth, but I don’t think he’s ready to hear it and even if he does, I don’t think he has much sympathy for me. I don’t blame him. My lies could have a huge impact on the Sons, but I can’t lie and say I’m not terrified that Leon and Elijah came here. That scares me more than fear of what the Sons will do to me. They’re Isaac’s right-hand men. Usually, they do his dirty work, but they’re as high up the food chain as they can be without taking Isaac’s position. That he sent them tells me everything I need to know.

  My husband is pissed at me.

  Whizz waits for the door to shut. All I can hear is my ragged breathing in heavy silence of the room.

  “You love him?”

  I blink at Whizz’s question.

  “What?”

  “Blackwood. You love him?”

  “No.” It’s the truth. I don’t.

  “But you’re still married to him.”

  “Yes.”

  He paces, his hands going to the back of his head, his body fraught with tension. “You being here is going to bring down a world of hurt on the club. You know that, right?”

  “I know.”

  He grits his teeth. “Yet you still fucking came here? Fuck me, Lucy. Natasha. Whatever your fucking name is.”

  He glares at me and mutters a “Fuck! Do you know what you’ve done? Nox has to go to church and convince a room full of my fucking brothers not to blow your damned brains out or hand you over to your fucking husband.” He says the last word like it’s dirty—like I’m dirty.

  Ice fills my gut. Whizz stands in front of me, his arms folded over his broad chest and peers down at me like I’m the enemy.

  And in that moment, I realise I am. Because I’m no longer the sweet Lucy Franklin who took care of one of their own. I’m the siren who made Nox take his eye off the ball. I’m the bitch who is going to rain hell on the club, and I can’t even argue with it. I really fucked things up.

  As much as I fought over the years for my freedom, I can never really leave my real self behind, because Natasha Blackwood will always exist as long as Isaac remains breathing, so maybe that’s how I fix this problem.

  I kill my husband.

  20

  Nox

  My brain feels like it’s about to explode. Titch said this could be a possibility, that Lucy might be involved in shit we didn’t know about and I ignored him. Now, I feel like a fucking idiot. I went against my brothers, made her mine, and swore she wasn’t involved. My trust in her, my faith in her is coming back to bite me on the arse. How the fuck could she lie to me like this? I love her. Hell, I told her as much, and the whole time she had a fucking dagger in my back.

  Natasha Blackwood.

  She is Isaac Blackwood’s fucking wife.

  I shagged a married woman. I’m a guy who doesn’t live by any rules, who does what the fuck he wants when he wants, but I still have a code. I don’t touch married bitches. It’s more hassle than it’s worth. She’s put me in this position and I’m furious with her for it. She better cry big fucking ugly tears when Blackwood puts a bullet in me.

  Everything about her is a lie. She’s not Lucy Franklin. She never was. Lucy has lived this double life for years. Her words, her actions, every little touch turns to dust in my memories. Was any of it real? I can’t think about it without wanting to strangle her.

  I slam my body into my chair as my brothers gather around the table, sans Whizz who is keeping an eye on Lucy. What the fuck are we supposed to do with her? Hand her back? The thought makes me sick to my stomach, but she belongs to another man.

  I feel like I’m crawling in filth because of her lies.

  I tap my fingers on the table as I wait for everyone to take their seats, my knee jiggling, my teeth grinding together. My rage is boiling through my veins, burning as it goes. I chase the bile down my throat, swallowing it back as I watch Rav sit down.

  “This shit is fucked up,” Levi breaks the silence first.

  Everyone starts talking at once and their voices are like nails down a fucking chalkboard.

  “Silence!” Rav yells and the room quietens. “I don’t give a fuck who she is. What I care about is what the fuck our next move is. Blackwood’s men said they’d be back.”

  He might not care, but I fucking do. Lucy made me believe she was someone she isn’t. I raise my eyes to Titch who is watching me like I’m a live bomb waiting to explode.

  “Fucking say it then.”

  Titch holds his hands up. “I ain’t saying shit.”

  “You want to, so fucking say it.”

  I’m pushing him, but I’m so fucking angry, I need to get this rage out somewhere.

  “Knowing who she is changes things considerably,” Day says, his voice calm as he interlinks his fingers together on top of the table. “We assumed the shooting at her office was because of her boss, but now…” He breaks off, shrugging.

  “You think she was targeted because of who she is?”

  “I don’t think it’s coincidence that Isaac Blackwood’s missus was involved in a shooting.”

  “Could have been Leon and Elijah who went there,” Titch interjects. “Would explain why they’re sniffing around our territory.”

  “Why the fuck would they shoot her?” I demand.

  “They didn’t,” Day says. “The bullet skimmed her head. Maybe she got in the way.”

  “Why don’t you just ask her what happened?” Fury’s voice is quiet, but it gets everyone’s fucking attention—mine included.

  I glance at Rav who shifts his shoulders. “Someone message Whizz and get them down here.”

  Levi gets to his feet and steps out of the room to grab his phone from the box outside the door.

  “Nox?” Rav says my name slowly, carefully. I know what he’s asking. If I’m okay.

  I shake my head. I’m so fucking far from okay it’s unreal. I don’t dare speak, though, for fear of what might come out of my fucking mouth.

  The room is silent as we wait for Whizz and Lucy—Natasha, whoever the fuck she is—to come down. When she steps in behind Whizz, I see the nerves in her expression and the urge to comfort her is overwhelming, battling with my righteous anger. I tear my eyes from her, my mouth turning down in disgust. I can’t even look at the lying bitch.

  “We need the fucking truth from you, Lucy,” Rav says.

  She lets out a breath. “What do you want to know?”

  “The men who shot at you… you know who they are?”

  There’s a pause then she says, “Leon and Elijah—they came for me. It’d been years si
nce I’d seen Isaac. It took me off guard. When they tried to take me out of the building, Hank intervened and was shot.” She says it so matter-of-fact, coldly even. It’s a stark difference from the woman I held crying in the shower, destroyed because of what happened.

  “So, you are the reason Blackwood’s men are in town,” Levi mutters, leaning back in his chair.

  I risk a glance in her direction, even as my heart shatters like glass at her betrayal.

  “I’ve been in hiding for a long time. I thought I was safe.”

  “Why are you hiding?” Whizz asks.

  “I didn’t want to be with Isaac anymore, but he isn’t exactly good at giving up his toys, and that’s all I am to him—a toy.”

  “You lived this secret fucking existence with my woman, with my fucking daughter under your roof?” Rav explodes.

  I don’t blame his rage. I feel it too, coursing through my veins like liquid poison.

  “I didn’t mean to put anyone in danger,” she snaps back, the first hint of steel coming into her voice. It’s a bad idea to poke the bear when Rav is already fired up.

  “Sasha know who you really are?” Day asks the question that sits on my tongue.

  “Sasha knows nothing.” She glances down at her hands, her brow furrowing. “I thought Isaac had given up, let go of me. It’s been over three and a half years since I last saw him. I got… complacent. I should have kept running.”

  Her words are a kick to the gut and I feel the heavy sensation of that boot lodged in my stomach as I glare at her.

  “You didn’t think to mention that you’re fucking married? That your husband is a mobster? Not once?” I demand with deadly venom in my tone.

  Her throat works for a moment. “I’m sorry I hurt you, Nox. That was not my intention, but I couldn’t let anyone know my secret. I wasn’t sure if—”

  She breaks off.

  She’s wrong. She didn’t hurt me—it ran deeper than that. Lucy fucking destroyed me.

  I grit my teeth. “If what?”

  “If who I am might be used against me.”