Her eyes narrow at me. “And just how the hell do you think you can make anything better?”
I kneel before her then, and her eyes grow wider and wider. I hook my fingers in her panties and gently slide them down her legs. Even I'm fucking shocked she doesn't fight me. But Dove stands perfectly still, eyes firmly closed as I slide her panties to the floor. I lift the silky wrap then, coming face to face with her exposed pussy.
"Don't," she whispers, the word barely audible. "Don't hurt me."
"Never." I kiss her. Kiss her hipbones, her exposed pussy, moving lower, between her legs. The feeling of her skin on my lips is intoxicating, overwhelming. I can't get enough, and from the soft mewl that escapes Dove's lips, I know she feels the same way.
"Why do you have to do this?" I look up at her, her eyes now open, tears welling in them. "Why can't you just leave me alone? This isn't love, Nox."
Once again, I’m smiling at my name on her lips. "No," I mutter. "This isn't love. It's obsession."
My mouth returns to her soft pussy lips and I part them with my tongue. This time she doesn't fight me, but she seems to be playing a game with herself, one where she can't make a single sound while I run my tongue up her sensitive flesh.
I want to remember the way she tastes in this moment forever. I want the taste, the feel of her, ingrained in my memory. Part of my fucking system. I can't stop now. I need more of her.
"I fucking worship you, Dove," I mutter against her skin, flicking my tongue at her clit. "You're all I want... all I think about... My obsession. My possession."
"I'm not property," she manages, but her voice is uncertain, weak. I see my window and I fucking take it, prolonging my licks, making her shake and tremble on the spot. "Ask me to fuck you, Dove."
"No."
"Beg me to take your holes again. How many men have been inside them since me? How many of them came in my fucking holes?"
She bites her lower lip, closing her eyes again without giving me an answer. But now I need to know because I'm a fucking glutton for punishment. I pinch her clit with my fingers, making her yelp in pain.
"How many, Dove?"
"Stop it," she hisses.
"Never. Tell me."
"N-No."
"Embarrassed? Just how much of a whore have you turned into, Dove? Tell me how many. Right the fuck now."
"None," she whispers. "Okay? Fucking none. I haven't slept with anyone. I have barely kissed anyone. I didn't let anyone fuck me. Not my mouth. Not my pussy. Not my ass."
I'm fucking shocked but delighted at the same time. "None? But it's been years..."
This time, the tears do fall. She pushes me away and storms off, and I struggle to wipe the self-righteous smile off my face.
None.
She's still fucking mine.
Chapter 21
Dove
"What are you still doing here?" I tap my foot against the floor, glaring at Nox as he leisurely pours a glass of water at the kitchen sink. "I told you, I wanted you gone in the morning."
"I can't just leave," he mutters, taking gulps of his drink. "I don't trust you by yourself."
"Fortunately for you, that's my problem, not yours."
"I'm not leaving, Dove." He sets the glass down and approaches me with a darkened expression. "You hurt yourself last night. I need to check your cut."
He reaches for my arm, but I snatch it away. I've reached the anger stage in my process and I hate him right now. I just want him fucking gone. From my house, from my life. I want him to leave.
"There's no need for that. Just go."
And yet, a part of me still hopes he won't leave. That he'll refuse to go away. That he'll insist on staying. And when he does, my heart soars for reasons I'd rather not damn well explore.
"Come here." He motions to the window, and reluctantly, I do as I'm told. He's careful as he unwraps the bandage covering my cut, but I still wince when he pulls it off. "It looks better than it did last night."
He disinfects it again and adds some antiseptic cream before covering it with a fresh bandage. It's strange seeing him like this. Strange to know he actually cares about me. He's so careful with me, like I was a porcelain doll. Every motion he makes, every stroke of his fingers is gentle. It's the opposite of what I know him to be – unforgiving, rough, and cruel.
"What are you going to do all day?" I ask him. "Do you have a job or something?"
He doesn't answer me, carefully arranging the bandage on my arm. "What are you going to do all day, Dove?"
"I'm supposed to go to the plant nursery, but I don't feel good," I mutter.
"The hospital called," he tells me. "They have... they have Sam's ashes. They asked if I wanted to arrange the funeral."
"I want to scatter them," I mutter. "Uphill somewhere."
"We can do that."
"I didn't include you on purpose, Nox," I hiss. "You're not part of this, so stop forcing yourself into the situation."
I can tell I've hurt him, and for a split second, I regret my harsh words. But I don't say sorry.
"I am part of it whether I want to be or not," he mutters. "We'll go on a hike tonight, then. I'll find a more secluded location where we won't be bothered by anyone."
I glare at him, wanting to fight him. And yet the temptation of having company for the final part of Sam's journey is tempting. I want him to come with me. I don't think I'm strong enough to handle this on my own.
"Get ready and we'll go to the hospital," he mutters, sitting down on my sofa and scrolling through hike locations. I take a few seconds to just look at him. I can't believe Parker Miller – Nox – is sitting on my couch. Fuck. I spent years trying to run from him, but here he is now, in the fucking flesh. And something tells me he's not giving up on me, especially after my confession last night.
But I hadn't lied. I wanted to, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I really hadn't been with anyone since him. It was ridiculous. So many years had passed. I'd went on dates, I'd let men kiss me. But I never, ever felt what I felt with Nox. Not until Raphael.
Guiltily, I remember abandoning my date the previous night at the club. I feel so fucking terrible. I'll need to call Raphael and apologize, but I'm dreading the thought of speaking to him again. I don't know how the fuck I'm supposed to explain what's happening with my life right now.
As I get ready, I stare at my reflection in the mirror. I can't believe I'm letting the monster who did this to me closer and closer. I should be running away and calling for help, not inviting him deeper into my life. I hate myself. I hate the fact that I'm unable to fight my attraction to Nox.
I pick out an all-black outfit from my closet and furrow my brows when I think of all the weird stuff that's been happening lately. The stolen handbag on my date with Raphael. The butt plug I found inside me. Is it possible that...
I shake my head to get the thought out. No, I can't get paranoid now. Of course Nox didn't have anything to do with it. How could he?
And yet the seed of doubt has been planted, and as I walk back to the living room where he's waiting for me, I can barely look him in the eyes.
Outside, he puts the helmet on my head again and we silently drive to the hospital. There, we receive a standard urn filled with Sam's ashes. I can't even bring myself to look at it, let alone hold it, but Nox handles everything for me. He tells me he found the perfect location to scatter my friend's ashes, and we get back on the bike. He holds the urn with one hand until we arrive and park on the street.
"You're going to be hot as fuck in those black clothes," he tells me. "It's going to be a warm way."
"Whatever," I mutter, dismissing his words, even though I'm already burning up. I'm wearing black leggings and an oversized black sweatshirt with a huge pair of black sunglasses to cover the scar. I thought if it got really warm, I could strip down to my sports bra, but now I'm mortified by the thought and being so exposed in front of Nox.
What happened in the kitchen last night can never happen again. I'm not
risking letting this maniac back into my life. Not after everything he's done to me.
I quickly come to regret my all-black outfit decision as we begin our ascent. It only takes me twenty minutes to give up on the sweatshirt, and I reluctantly pull it over my head and tie it around my waist. Nox merely smirks at me, not commenting on my bra or my exposed skin, covered in scars. We keep walking in charged silence. But I appreciate the quiet this time. It gives me time to think about Sam. This hike is about him, after all.
My thoughts fill with every memory I have of the man who's made living in LA so much better. He made me less lonely. He made me feel like I belonged. He was my best friend, even though our connection was strange and unexpected. There are so many things I wish I'd gotten to say to him, but now it's too late.
I wipe a traitorous tear from my eyes and keep walking. Nox is carrying the urn, but once our hike is halfway done, I ask him to carry it the rest of the way.
It's heartbreaking. All that's left of his life is in a simple black object. Sam was larger than life and now he's been reduced to this.
I worry my bottom lip between my teeth and keep walking. We reach the top of the hill after an hour, and I'm exhausted and out of breath, but the view from here more than makes up for it. It's gorgeous up here. You can see the city in all its glory. And we're alone, just like I'd wanted.
"Think this place will do?" Nox asks me, and I nod. "Whenever you're ready."
I sit cross-legged on the dusty earth overlooking the side of the hill, and Nox joins me. "I'd like to say a few things first."
"Go ahead."
But now that it's come down to it, I have no idea what to say. How am I supposed to put a life as impactful as Sam's into just a few words? I can try, at least.
"Sam, you meant everything to me, even though I never learned your last name," I begin softly. "You were my best friend. My confidant. I trusted you and I believed in you. You motivated me to be a better person even when you believed you couldn't be that for me. And perhaps this is how our story ends. With me carrying on your legacy. With me telling your story."
Nox and I get up and he helps me open the urn. I don't dare look inside, I'm already too emotional. Together, we scatter Sam's ashes into the wind and watch them disperse above the city that he loved so much. The city that gave him life and killed him.
Nox comes to stand behind me, gently wrapping an arm around my waist. "He would be proud of you."
"How can you say that?" I mutter. "You never even knew him."
He doesn't answer. We stand there for a long time, until I finally come to peace with the idea that Sam is gone for good now. Finally, I sniffle and pull back, softly asking Nox if we can leave.
Our descent is quiet again, and we run into two women on the way. Both of them eye Nox appreciatively, and I feel jealousy brewing in the pit of my stomach. He smirks at both of them, making me go fucking crazy. I hate that he looks at other women. I hate that other women look at him. He's fucking mine.
The ferocity of my own mind takes me by surprise, and I keep my lips tightly pressed together as they continue climbing the hill and we keep descending.
Halfway down, my phone starts to ring, and I blanch when I see the caller ID.
"Lover boy?" Nox teases me.
"Shut up." Reluctantly, I answer the call. I have to get it over with sometime. "Hey, Raphael."
"Dove." His dark voice is worried and relieved at the same time. "I'm so glad you're okay. Where have you been? I've been trying to call you all day."
"Sorry, I wasn't checking my phone. Something... happened last night."
"What, Dove? Can you tell me?"
I ponder the question. I could tell him, but I realize I don't want to. My relationship with Sam was too special, too unique to be cheapened into a simple sentence about him. "Maybe some other time."
"When can I see you, Dove?"
"I don't know," I mutter. "I'm... taking some time off."
"Time off from me?" I don't answer. "Dove? Please talk to me. I came by your house last night."
"I know."
"But I –" I stare at my phone that starts crackling with static.
"Connection's really bad here," Nox chimes in innocently, and I roll my eyes, cutting the call and pocketing my phone. He doesn't even try to wipe that self-righteous look off his face as we make our way back to the parking lot. This time, I see him checking out my ass as we walk, but I don't call him out on it. It's sick because I want him to look. I feel like I won over the two girls we ran into on the hike, and victory has never tasted sweeter.
"You're going to have to get a helmet for yourself, too," I tell him back in the parking lot as he straps the thing to my head, just as carefully as always.
"Is that so?" he chuckles darkly. "You planning on becoming a regular plus one on all my trips?"
"No, I..." I blush fiercely. "If you ever drive anyone else, I mean."
"There's no one else, Dove," he says firmly. "There was only ever you."
I swallow thickly at the sound of his words. I wish I was brave enough to tell him he was the only one for me, too. Instead, my lips remain firmly pressed together for our ride home, and I don't say another word until we're back in my house.
Chapter 22
Nox
We return to Dove's apartment. She doesn't ask me if I'm coming in, but when we're finally in her apartment, she turns to face me with her arms crossed.
"You need to find another place to live."
"Why? I can keep an eye on you here. You'll feel safer with a man around."
She laughs at me. "As if, Nox. If anything, I'm more scared having you around."
"Stop lying to yourself," I mutter. "Come on, Dove. You need me."
"I don't fucking need you. I never did."
"Now that's a lie if ever I heard one."
"Whatever," she groans just as her belly rumbles. "Fuck."
"Are you hungry?" I narrow my eyes at her. "When was the last time you ate?"
"Doesn't matter," she shakes her head dismissively. That's when I finally look at her, really look at her. The girl is painfully thin. She looks on the brink of starvation.
"I'm ordering some takeout," I announce. "What are you in the mood for?"
"Nothing."
"So damn stubborn." I place an order on a delivery app while she disappears into the bathroom to take a shower. I want to suggest we do it together, but I have a feeling that won't go down very well, so I keep my mouth shut.
She emerges sometime later, giving me a dirty look, even though I didn't even do anything.
"Mind if I use your shower?"
"If you have to," she grunts. "But after we eat, you're out of here, Nox."
I just smirk at her, heading for the bathroom. The whole room reeks of roses and I groan out loud. That scent of hers is going to drive me fucking crazy. I get into her shower and stand under the hot spray of water. I'm fucking grateful for the fact there's no guy stuff in here, but it seems like I'm gonna smell like a fucking bouquet by the time I wash my hair. Everything's so fucking girly. I need to bring some of my own stuff in here, level it out.
Even though Dove seems to be determined that I won't be staying with her for much longer, there's no fucking way I'm leaving. I know the moment I walk away, that piece of shit Raphael's going to come in guns blazing trying to take my place. And that's just not fucking happening, not on my watch.
I hear voices outside and hurry up towel-drying my hair. I put my boxers and jeans on and walk to the front door where Dove's talking to some guy that's way too old to be delivering food.
She's laughing.
He's saying something and she throws her head back, laughing easily at what he's saying.
Jealousy bubbles under the surface. I want to fucking kill the guy, but I force myself to stand back and observe them. When they keep chatting, he asks for her phone number. My nails dig into my palms as I fist my hands. Like fuck am I letting this happen.
Dove stiffens as I wa
lk up behind her, wrapping a proprietorial arm around her waist. "Thanks for the pizzas. You can get lost now."
"Nox," she hisses. "I haven't even paid him yet."
I pull my wallet from my jeans and hand the shell-shocked guy a fifty. "Thanks. Bye."
"So, about that phone number..."
"Are you fucking serious?" I hiss at him. "Can’t you take a goddamn hint?"
"Whoa, chill out," the guy mutters. "What are you, her keeper?"
"Exactly," I hiss, taking a step forward. The prick must be feeling extra fucking brave, which is too fucking bad for him, because I'm in the right mood to kick out some of his teeth. "You were leaving, I believe."
"I was actually waiting for your friend to answer my question," the guy says.
"I'm answering for her," I growl. "Get. Fucking. Lost."
The guy sighs, laughing lightly as he puts down a pizza box. "You want a fucking fight, man?"
"Maybe I do."
"Please, can you not?" Dove hisses at me. "This is freaking embarrassing, Nox!"
"Go eat the pizza before it gets cold," I tell her, never taking my eyes off the prick in front of me. "Go on, Dove."
She reluctantly takes a step behind while I face off with the guy.
"Last chance," he tells me with a smirk. "I take tae-kwon–"
He doesn't get to finish his sentence, because I've already slammed my fist into his face. He falls to the ground while Dove shrieks behind me. I'm pretty sure I’ve broken his nose, because the prick's blood spurts out moments later. He groans on the ground, covering his face with his hands while I keep hitting and hitting.
It's been a long time since the red mist descended like this. When I killed Robin, I did it out of necessity. There was no joy in hurting him – he was innocent. But not this piece of shit. Mr. Pizza Delivery Guy had it fucking coming for so much as looking at my goddamn property.
"Stop it! Nox, fucking stop it! Stop! Stop! Parker, stop!"
Finally, when she uses my real name, the word comes through and I stop with my fist mid-air. Dove is sobbing behind me. The delivery guy is barely conscious, groaning on the ground. He never did get the chance to show me his tae-kwon-do skills.
Tyrant Stalker: A Dark Forbidden Romance (Tyrant Dynasty Book 2) Page 14
