"You're fucking insane," Dove tells me as she pulls me off him. My knuckles are bloody and my heart's going a thousand miles a minute. I blink, trying to get back in the moment as the guy picks himself up and limps to his car, driving off with the screech of tires on concrete. "How could you do that? Are you fucking crazy? You could've killed him!"
"That's what he deserved," I snarl, ripping my hand away when she reaches for it. "He had no right, Dove. No goddamn right."
"No right to do his job?" she hisses. "You're fucking crazy. Off the rails. You're just like you used to be, and I'll never, ever trust you!"
In tune with her words, she starts shoving me backwards and I stumble into her street. I'm still shirtless, only wearing jeans and boxers. Now we've caught the attention of passers-by and Dove's nosy fucking neighbors who are staring at us from their windows. I want to kill all of them.
"Dove, calm down," I tell her, raising my hands to stop her and quickly realizing that would only piss her off more since they're still stained with blood. "Look, I'm fucking sorry, okay? I... I overreacted."
"No fucking shit!" She slaps me. It's so loud and shocks me so much I actually laugh out loud, but that only makes her angrier. "You're insane. You need to get the fuck away from here. I want you out of my house and out of my life."
"I'm not leaving," I shake my head. "I can't leave."
"If you don't, I'm getting a restraining order."
"You don't mean that." I furrow my brows and shake my head. She wouldn't do that to me.
"You just beat up some guy I've never seen before for no fucking reason! I'm afraid you're going to..." She glances around us, hissing the rest of the sentence at me in softer tones. "Kill someone!"
I groan. "Let me get my shoes and my shirt at least."
"No," she grunts. "You'll just worm your way back into my life and my heart. And I don't want you in either."
Her words hurt, but I try not to let it show. I run my fingers through my hair, fighting the urge to scream at the people watching us and tell them to fuck off and mind their own business.
"Dove, you don't mean it."
"Of fucking course I mean it. I've been trying to get rid of you since you showed up here."
"You're lying."
"I'm not!" she screams in frustration, pulling at her hair. "Can't you see my life's gone to hell since you reappeared? I've lost everything. Everything. Sam. Raphael. And Robin... Robin…"
She swallows and I watch something click inside her like a switch. Her legs can't hold her up anymore and she collapses on the ground, staring at her open palms as if they hold the answer to everything that's happened. Everything I've done.
Because obviously, Dove's fucking right. I'm the one who's been making her life a living hell, and I have no goddamn regrets. I wouldn't take anything I did back. Not even Robin. Because it all meant I got her here, broken, with no one to help her but me.
And I'm the one who picks her up in the end.
I'm the one who guides her back in the house where the pizza boxes lie forgotten on the counter.
I'm the one who sits her down on the sofa and cleans her scrapes from collapsing on the pavement while she stares ahead, eyes unseeing.
I'm the one who force-feeds her some shitty vegetarian pizza concoction that turns my stomach.
I'm the only one who can make it better, and we both fucking know it.
"I'll leave now, if you want," I finally mutter once she's eaten two slices. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay."
She doesn't answer, and I pull back, coming to terms with the fact that I need to give her some space. But when I attempt to walk away, her hand shoots up and she wraps her fingers around my wrist, ever so gently pulling me back. She doesn't speak, but when her eyes meet mine, they speak the only word that matters.
Stay.
Except I know I can't. I can't stay here, because the mere fact that she reached out for me has already made my dick hard. So I pull my hand out of her grasp. Her face breaks into a painfully desperate expression.
"Don't go."
Now she's said it out loud. And yet I still can't stay. Not without revealing all the awful, humiliating things I want to do to her still innocent body. Not without breaking her.
"I have to leave. You need time to rest."
"I can't be alone tonight. I can't, Nox. I don't want to be alone."
I groan, running my fingers through my hair in frustration. "I can keep an eye on you. From the street."
"No," she whines. "Stay with me. Hold me. Take care of me."
The words falling from her lips fucking break me. I want nothing more than to stay, and yet I know I can't. Not without breaking the promise I made to myself – that I wouldn't hurt her unless she begged for it.
But Dove is still so pure. She doesn't know how ugly and awful the world is. How black my heart is. She has no idea of all the awful things I want to do to her.
My heart battles my mind as she awaits my answer. Finally, I shake my head.
"I can't."
She jumps up at this, a look of pure rage crossing her face. "You can't? You were so obsessed with owning me, you knocked out some stranger, and now you can't fucking stay?"
I shake my head. Whatever I say now will mean nothing, but I try anyway. "I'm sorry."
"Sorry? Sorry's not fucking enough," she snarls at me. "Why can't you stay? Why can't you do the right thing for once in your sorry fucking life? Why can't you? Why, Nox? Why?"
"Why?" I hiss.
"Yes, why!" she screams, hammering her fists against my chest. We're going to wake up all of her neighbors again, not that I particularly give a damn. "Why, Nox? Why won't you stay, why, why, why?"
I grab her hands. She goes still. I move her right palm over the bulge forming in my pants, hissing my answer at her.
"This is why, Dove. Because just being near you makes me hard as a rock. Because seeing you naked has been giving me blue balls all day. Because I want to fuck you. And I'm going to fucking hurt you if you make me stay. Do you fucking understand?" I pull her against me, glaring into her wide eyes. "Do you, Dove?"
Chapter 23
Dove
My hand rests between his legs. I'm too afraid to move, to do much as let out a breath. My eyes are glued to his and the air between us is thick, the tension sparking with electricity.
"You can't handle it," he mutters. "You never fucking could."
He takes a step back and my hand falls from his crotch. My mind is screaming for me to cling to him, to beg him not to leave me, to take me with him, to never let me go. And yet I stay glued to the spot, unable to move a single inch. He shakes his head. He's put on his shirt, but now he puts on his shoes too, and the whole time, I don't say a word, even though my head is swimming with things I want to scream at him to convince him to stay.
He laces up his boots and gives me one last look. "I'll be around."
With those words, he leaves me standing there, walking away from me as if I never meant anything to him at all. I feel like I'm going to be sick, and yet it takes me several minutes after the door shuts behind him to move to the sofa like I've been severely injured, collapsing on the plush pillows.
My life is a fucking mess. The sofa smells like Robin. Robin, who's gone. And Sam. And now Nox. I have nobody left.
My thoughts fill with people I could call.
Raphael. No. I don't want to explain what's been happening with me, and I don't want him to know I don't see a romantic future for us.
Elise. But what would I say? Even though it's been only weeks since Robin went missing, I know she's already moving on. The way I'll never be able to.
My mother. The thought makes me laugh out loud. As if she'd even want to talk to me.
I lie on the couch for what feels like hours. Nox doesn't come back. Evening turns into night, and the fear starts creeping in, heavy, dark and crippling. At some point, I force myself to drag myself upstairs and into my bed.
I'm convinced I won't b
e able to fall asleep for hours, but the adrenaline rush has tired me out, and my eyelids grow heavier and heavier by the second. Thankfully, I don't get a chance to dwell on what happened with Nox. My mind saves me, mercifully plunging me into a world of numb darkness, where I don't have to feel a thing.
***
I wake up because I can't breathe. My eyes fly open, my chest reverberating with the beat of my own heart. The room is dark, and there's someone in here with me. Instantly, I'm terrified. That is, until my eyes find his.
I'd recognize his gaze anywhere. Grey, dark, promising a world of pain and trouble. And yet for some reason, his presence calms me, and my heart beats a little steadier despite the fact that Nox has his palm pressed against my mouth.
"Don't make a fucking sound," he tells me. "Just nod and shake your head. Understood?"
I struggle beneath him, but his free hand instantly finds its way to my throat, and he squeezes. Hard. I understand the game we're playing now. If I don't do what he says, he's going to hurt me. My heart soars with excitement, and I hate myself for it.
Finally, I settle and give him a simple nod. This seems to please him. He smiles at me, almost gently, lulling me into a false sense of security.
"Good girl." God, those two little words make me feel all the things I shouldn't. "Are you happy I came back?"
I nod, eyes fluttering open and closed fast.
"Do you know why I came back?"
I shake my head no. My chest burns. Every spot he's touching burns. I want him to take me. I want him to have me. I'll deal with the mess I made here tomorrow. Tonight, I just want to belong to him once more.
I was obsessed with Parker Miller once. And the thing about obsession is... it's un-fucking-curable. As I stare into his eyes, I know I'll never be able to quash the feelings I have for him. I'm doomed in this state, forever hoping he'll take advantage of me again, even though I've experienced his wrath too many times to count.
"I came back to fuck you, Dove," he mutters in the shell of my ear, sending shivers down my spine. "I came back to fucking take what's mine. Do you want that?"
He raises his face above mine. His lips linger inches away from my own, torturing me, taunting me with a kiss he won't give me. Not unless I tell him the truth.
My eyes close. I don't want to give him this power over me, to admit what I'm truly feeling, what I don't want him to know. Yet I know if I don't, he'll leave me wanting again. So, I nod. With my eyes closed, I nod, telling myself this doesn't change anything.
I'm still the brave girl who gets through whatever life throws at her.
I'm still the victim who pushed through the self-hatred and blame and became a better person.
Nox does not define me. Parker Miller does not define me. What he did to me does not define me.
"Beg me," he whispers in my ear. "Beg me to fuck your untouched cunt... And don't you dare fucking scream."
His palm leaves my mouth and I rasp, trying to get some fresh air into my lungs. But his impatient gaze tells me he won't wait for those words forever, his hand still lingering on the pillow, ready to cut off my air supply again at any moment.
"I-I-I..." I struggle to speak, tripping over the simple word, swallowing, blinking fast. "I... I want you to..."
"You want me to what, Dove?" He taunts me, mesmerizingly close to me, his lips a breath away from mine. I pray he'll kiss me. Everything else is forgotten, all those bridges burned. Nothing matters but Nox's lips on mine. Taking what's been his all along. "Speak up, be a good girl for me. Don't fucking disappoint me."
"I want you to –" I choke on the words, struggling to catch my breath. "I want you to fuck me, Nox..."
With a growl, he climbs onto the bed and positions himself between my legs. My heart is still pounding, my mind unwilling to accept this isn't just a dream. I pinch myself, and it fucking hurts. This is real. Nox is real. We are real. This is happening.
He slides my panties down my legs. I notice he's only wearing boxers, and he slides them off with lightning speed. My eyes widen at the sight of his cock. I want him. I remember him. How could I ever forget my first cock... my only cock...
He grabs hold of my knees and lifts my legs apart, smirking at what he sees. I can feel how wet I am, and when he leans in close and spits on me, all I can do is gasp for him. He pushes my legs back, positions his cock at my entrance. My heart pounds. Our eyes meet. He laughs at me as he presses his cockhead in the wetness pooling at my center. Laughs as he rubs his spit into me. "You really want it, Dove? Really?"
"Really," I whisper. "Really, really, really, really..."
"I don't believe you," he mutters. "Keep fucking begging."
But he doesn't make it easy on me. He keeps on rubbing the tip of his cock into my pussy, grinding me so much it's almost fucking painful, the denial he's putting me through. I find myself babbling, eager to get more, eager for him, for the love only he can give me.
"Please, Nox, please, fucking please, fuck me, all I want is you, all I ever wanted is you... Take it, it's your pussy, they're your holes. I spent all this time waiting for you. I wanted you... I always wanted you... Don't take this away from me, Nox, please, I'm begging you, please, fucking please, I need you..."
"So, you remember how to beg after all," he smirks. "Good to fucking know... I'm not going to fuck you tonight."
A gasp rips itself from my lips and my bottom lip wobbles in frustration.
"Make your peace with that now, little Dove. But I'm going to make it fucking unbearable for you. I'll make my pussy so damn desperate it'll be weeping, leaking at the sight of me. And you'll beg for everything I want to do to you. Every. Single. Fucking. Thing. Got that?"
"Yes," I manage.
"Yes, what?"
"Yes..."
"Focus," he smirks at me. "Be respectful. If you're not, I'm going to hurt you. What do you call me when we play?"
I remember everything I know about him, thinking hard about the answer he wants. I mewl in frustration, afraid of his reaction because I don't know the answer. But he doesn't seem angry. His palm finds my cheek and he gently runs his fingers over my scar. I close my eyes, anticipating a slap that never comes.
"You call me Sir, Dove. When we play, you call me Sir. Now say it. Say yes, Sir."
"Yes... S-Sir," I whisper.
"Say it again. I fucking like it."
"Please, S-Sir," I croak. "Please. Please. My pussy needs you. Fuck me. Fuck me, please, Sir."
"What did I tell you, Dove? You're not getting fucked tonight. Beg for other things. Things you might actually get."
"Cum." My voice is shaky as fuck and it's embarrassing. "I want your cum, Sir."
He smirks at me from between my still-raised legs, my pussy pouting at him. "You don't want to come yourself?" He presses his hard cock against my clit and it’s enough to make me shudder and squirm.
"I don't care," I whisper. "You decide, j-just let m-me have yours... Please... Please, Sir."
"Good girl." He groans, rubbing his cock over my pussy. I feel him leaking, the precum sticking to my pussy, running between my legs. I'm so turned on I could scream, but I force my lips to stay pressed together. "Keep begging, Dove..."
"Give me more, Sir." I'm hungry now. No, ravenous. I want more of him. I want him to give me everything. "Give me your cum. Cum on my pussy. Cum on my clit, Sir. Please, just fucking please, let me have your cum, Sir."
"What a thirsty little slut." He smiles menacingly, wiping his dripping cock on my eager snatch. "And it's so fucking tempting. If I didn't have plans for you, I'd be tempted to give you your little wish."
"P-Plans?" I whisper. "What p-plans?"
"You'll find out," he replies easily. "But tonight, I just wanted to tease you. To get you to admit how happy you are that I came back for you."
I flush fiercely, part of me hating this and another loving the side of me only Nox can bring out.
"Are you happy I came back?" he asks, and I find myself nodding. "Do you want me to sl
eep on the sofa tonight?"
At this, I shake my head, desperately reaching out and gripping his wrists in my arms. "Please, here..."
"Here with you? In your bed? So close you can feel my fucking cock pressing against your tight little ass while you sleep?"
I swallow thickly, nodding without saying another word.
"Okay, Dove." He smirks. "I'll give you what you want."
He lets go of my legs, throws my panties at me, tells me to put them on, that it’ll be too distracting to sleep next to me naked. I do as he says, so grateful for his presence as he lies down beside me. He pulls me against him, wrapping me up in his arms and inhaling the scent of my hair.
"Sleep," he mutters in my ear. "Sleep, Dove."
"I can't," I whisper.
"Why not? Because of me?"
I shake my head. Suddenly the reality of everything that's happened hits me fucking hard. The moment Nox stops distracting me with our bodies, I'm hit with memories. Thoughts. Words he said to me. Things he told me. How he took care of me. How much he loved me. More than anyone else. He was the only one who took the time to make sure I ate. But he's gone. I feel it in my bones.
"I miss him."
"Sam?"
I shake my head, feeling guilty as fuck.
"Robin?"
I narrow my eyes, looking up at Nox. "How do you know about Robin?"
Chapter 24
Nox
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
I have to be careful now, or I'm going to get caught in this fucking lie. And it's too soon. I don't want her to find out what I did to her brother. Not now, not ever. I fucking slipped, and if I'm not careful, it's all going to come crashing down on me like a ton of shit.
"I..." I struggle to find the words, my mind screaming at me to hurry the fuck up and think of something before little bird suspects something's seriously off here.
"How, Nox?" She sits up in bed, and when I reach for her, she slaps my hand away. "Answer me."
Fuck. I'll have to confess at least part of what I've done. I can't lie to her, but I can't tell her the whole truth either. I swallow thickly, hoping she can't see my guilty fucking expression in the darkened room.
Tyrant Stalker: A Dark Forbidden Romance (Tyrant Dynasty Book 2) Page 15
