"Not done," he replies with a grunt. "You sound so pretty when you beg, but you need to shut the fuck up."
"Please, Nox, I –" I don't get to finish my words because he covers my mouth with his hand, pressing down hard.
"Don't talk. Shut up. Let me fuck you. I want to watch you struggle."
Every sentence that leaves his lips is like a nail in my coffin. I feel like I'm going to fall apart. But I still don't want him to stop. Even though my body knows this is bad, I don't want it to ever end. It's too addicting, getting lost in his abuse. Bending to his will. I don't want this to ever, ever end.
He grabs my legs by the ankles and holds them up. He pulls out, watching my pussy drip on the sheets before plunging his cock inside me yet again. I can feel him hitting my cervix with every thrust, hurting me so much I nearly pass out from the pain.
And yet I still don't want him to stop.
"Beg for my load," he hisses. "Beg for me to breed you, little bird."
His words take my breath away. I gasp for air but there's none there. My legs fall down uselessly when he lets go and whips me around into a doggy position. He forces my head back until I'm looking up at him, grabbing my hair with one hand and smacking my ass with the other.
"Beg for it, little bird!"
"P-Please," I manage, shocked by the impact of his hand as he smacks me again. "Please! Fill me!"
"Keep going, not good enough."
I groan in frustration. I want to rip my hair out. I want to fucking hurt him.
The blood from his cut drips down on my face. I push my tongue out and lick it. It tastes metallic, like iron. I feel so fucked up, so needy, I'm going to fucking come soon.
He fists my hair tight and pummels me hard and fast and my body is rocked by an orgasm I can't fight. I yell his name and he smacks my ass while I’m coming, over and over again and in the same spot, making sure I'm going to fucking bruise. He doesn't stop fucking me either. My pussy clenches, impossibly tight around his swollen dick and ready to milk every last drop of his seed.
"You want it?" he growls in my ear. "You want your slutty cunt filled with my cum? You want me to come right into your fucking cervix? You wanna be pregnant, little bird?"
All I can do is whimper and cry.
"Fucking answer me!"
"Please, yes," I whisper. "I want your baby. I want you. I want everything. Don't let me go."
"Never," he growls, grasping my throat and looking deep into my eyes as he pushes in one final time. "Take it."
I could cry from the pain of him being inside me fully. It feels like he's stretching me impossibly, making my pussy take so much more than it could possibly handle. I feel his cock throb. I feel the first spurt of cum inside me and I whimper his name as more and more follow. He's not moving, just letting my cunt clench and milk his cock. His eyes roll back and he smirks, my name a dying whisper on his lips.
I don't know how long it takes for him to stop coming. It feels like he's painting my cunt from the inside with his warm cum, and somehow, despite the pain, I feel happy, taken care of… and relieved.
Once he's done, I collapse on the bed and he pulls out. My shaky hand goes between my legs, cupping the seed that runs out. Deliriously, I bring my hand to my face and suck my fingers until there's not a trace left.
"You're such a good girl," Nox mutters, pulling me into his embrace. "I fucking love hurting you."
He holds me close, lips nuzzling my neck and hair as I start to sob. Once it begins, there's no way I can stop, and sobs rack my body, making me shake with the intensity of the orgasm he just gave me.
Nox doesn't offer comforting words and doesn't try to make it better. But his lips find mine, and he kisses me, proving to me yet again how very weak I am for him. His fingers absentmindedly find their way between my legs, toying with my clit, pushing his cum deeper inside me.
We stay like that for a long time, until I finally stop crying. Once he pulls back, I feel the loss of him and it fucking hurts.
"You need to get dressed," he tells me. "We're leaving."
"What?" I sit up in the bed. "Where are we going?"
"We need to go to my motel room and decide what's going to happen next. Where we'll live. Shit like that."
"You think we're going to live together?" I scoff.
"Won't we?"
I ponder his words and press my lips together, unwilling to give Nox an answer. To be honest, after this, I don't see my life without him. I don't think I can survive without Nox. I don't want to survive without Nox.
"Okay," I whisper.
He hands me his shirt and a pair of shorts. They're both too big on me, and the scars on my legs and arms are painfully visible. But I'm past the point of caring. My heart beats with trepidation and excitement, eager for our next chapter to begin.
***
We arrive at the motel a while later. The receptionist gives me a nasty look when Nox guides me to his room.
"What the fuck happened to your face?" she asks Nox as we pass, but he doesn't bother with an answer, just pulls me along, down the hallway and away from prying eyes. She calls out after us, but we both ignore her. "You need stitches or that's going to leave a nasty scar!"
The moment the door is closed, he rips my clothes off my body and admires me with a smirk on his handsome face.
"You need to clean your face," I whisper, and he nods.
"There's a first-aid kit in the bathroom. Get it, you'll clean me up."
I nearly trip over myself on the way to the bathroom. My heart is fucking pounding. I'm still trying to come to terms with everything that's happened. I can't believe I'm right back where I started. I tried so hard to run away from him, but I should've known I'd never be able to escape Nox.
I dig in the medicine cabinet in the bathroom but don't find anything. I check the storage closet next, but there's nothing there either. I exit the room to find Nox gone. I sit on the bed with an exasperated sigh.
There's something behind the pillows.
I lift one of them and furrow my brows when I see the offending piece of fabric. It's a gray hoodie, and it's stained with blood. The Columbia college logo is on it.
I've seen this hoodie.
I know this hoodie.
Dread settles in my stomach just as I hear Nox's keys turning in the lock.
"Got one from the reception," he grunts. "Realized we didn't have one here, and..."
His eyes find mine and he sees what I'm holding. The moment stretches into for ever. I can't believe this is happening. With a sickening crunch, I've landed back in reality.
And life will never be the same again.
Chapter 31
Nox
"What the fuck is this?"
My mind is fucking racing. My eyes are glued to what she's holding. I'm doing damage control in my mind already, but my mouth won't open and say the words. I just need to explain. I can explain. I can get out of this.
"Is this my brother's?" Dove tosses the blood-stained hoodie at me. "Answer me! Is this Robin's?"
"Dove, I..." I raise my hands in the air defensively. How the fuck do I start? What the fuck do I say? I'm a terrible fucking liar. The truth is written all over my goddamn face. "I can explain."
"Explain, then," she hisses, glaring at me. If looks could kill, hers would've incinerated me. "Explain what you're doing with the hoodie my brother was last seen in, and explain why it's bloody!"
I can't answer her. I try to force myself, but the truth won't come out. I just stand there as she comes at me with her fists. She hammers them into my chest, punching, hissing my name, telling me I'm a monster.
"Explain!" she screams. "Explain it, right the fuck now! There has to be an explanation, right Nox? There must be a reason. You didn't do it. You didn't!"
"I'm sorry, Dove," I mutter.
"Sorry for what?" she growls. "Sorry for what, you fucking monster? Are you such a fucked up killer that you kept this... as some sick memento? Or as a reminder of what you are?"
I don't know why I kept it, so I don't answer her. She takes a step back and looks at me as if this is the first time she's seeing me. Seeing the monster my father saw when he beat me, when he put the scars on my back. Dove shakes her head, runs her fingers through that dark mane of hair, whispering, muttering something I don't quite understand.
"He's gone," she says. "He's gone. Robin's gone. You killed him. You took him away from me. You did this. You did this. You. Fucking. Did. This!"
I can't answer her. We both know it's true now. The hoodie is in my hands and she snatches it away from me, holding it up to her nose, inhaling the scent. When she pulls her hand back, her face is smeared with blood.
"You don't deserve it. You don't deserve a memory of him. You don't deserve to say his fucking name."
"Dove, I'm fucking sorry," I get out. "I thought I had to do it, I –"
"Don't give me your bullshit fucking reasons!" She's a banshee, one moment crying into the hoodie, the next discarding it to claw at me. I don't stop her. I feel like I have no right. "I don't want to know! I don't want you to tell me it's my fucking fault, my fault he's gone, because of you! Your sick, twisted fucking obsession with me made you do this! It's my fault! My fault he's gone, my fault, my fucking fault..."
She slumps to the floor. She's a mess, her makeup smudged, her hair ruffled, her eyes wild. My little bird is so fucking beautiful.
"You're a monster," she whispers. "I made you do this. He's gone. Robin's gone because of me."
I don't tell her it's not true, because technically, it fucking is.
I'm a cold man. Dove Canterbury is the only person I feel for. But I can't console her now. I did what I had to do. I did it so we could be together. I did it so she'd finally fucking realize she loved me. And it motherfucking worked.
"Whatever I tell you now, you're going to hate me more," I say calmly. "Let's talk about this when you feel better."
"Are you fucking kidding me?" She gets up and looks at me the way my father did. With pure disgust. "I'm leaving. I can't even look at you. You make me fucking sick."
She tries to walk past me to get to the door, but I take her by the forearm. She thrashes wildly so I let go, but block her way. "Let me make it better."
"Better?" she spits out. "You can't make a murder better. Are you turning yourself in?"
"What?" I shake my head. "No, of course not. I need to be with you. Take care of you."
"Then I want nothing to do with you." She walks past me and opens the door.
"Don't, little bird."
"Don't you dare fucking call me that," she hisses over her shoulder.
"You wanna make this hard on me?" I advance on her and slam the door closed. She glares and screams in frustration when I grab her, throwing her over my shoulder. "I'll make you fucking stay. I'll make you never leave me again."
I let her down on the bed. I hold her down with one hand and grab some rope from the nightstand with the other. My heart is fucking pounding in disbelief. But I have to do this, I don't have a choice. I can't let her get away from me. I can't lose Dove again.
I tie up her ankles and her wrists. She doesn't say a word, just stares at the ceiling. Once I'm done, I take a step back to admire her. No matter what, she's so fucking beautiful. One day she'll understand. I'll make her.
"I'll keep you like this as long as I fucking have to," I tell her. "Until you agree with me."
"I don't care," she whispers. "I don't fucking care anymore. You've broken me. I'm... I'm nothing anymore."
"Don't say that, little bird." I gently touch her cheek. It takes a lot of effort for me not to hurt her, because my body wants to abuse something beautiful, and she's the one I want to hurt most.
"Don't touch me," she whispers, tears gliding down her cheeks. "Don't touch me, please."
I pull my hand back. Usually, I wouldn't give a shit, but her pain is so fucking intense I can feel it, searing my bones. I feel bad for her, but not for what I did. It needed to be done. Means to an end. Anything so we can be together at the end of this.
"Dove, you'll get over this," I mutter. "You have to."
She doesn't say another word. A silent tear rolls down her cheek as she stares at the ceiling. I don't know what to do with myself, so I just fucking stare at her. I still think she's beautiful. Stunning. Perfect. I know I can make her think I'm perfect, too. She just needs to come to terms with that.
"You love me," I mutter. "You told me you love me. Remember, Dove?"
She shakes her head, "You didn't even say it back."
"You know I don't believe in that bullshit," I smirk.
"It's not. It's what normal people do, Nox," she whispers. "It's what I need. What I want. What you aren't capable of."
"You know how much I fucking want you," I hiss.
"It's not the same." Her voice breaks, and she keeps repeating it over and over again like a mantra. "It's not the same. It's not the same. It's not the same."
"Dove, do you want me to fuck you?" I sit next to her on the bed, my hands roaming her skin. "I'll make it better. Let me show you how much I need you. Let me own that body."
She laughs, cries, laughs some more. I don't stop touching her. But it's different now. Her skin's cold.
"I need to pee," she whispers.
"Swear to me you won't run."
"I won't."
I untie her and stand in the bathroom while she pees. She doesn't object, doesn't say a word. She just stares ahead while she does it, eyes blank, staring into nothing. After, she walks back to the room. She stares out of the window. It's raining.
"I want to go home," she manages.
"I can't let you go home."
"Then you'll have to kill me, too."
"Don't fucking say shit like that," I growl, standing behind her. I can smell her. Sweet roses and soapy skin. "I need you, Dove. I'm not spending another day of my life without you."
I lay a hand on her shoulder and she shivers.
"Every time you touch me," she begins. "I’ll remember him. Every time I look at you, I’ll know he's the last thing you saw. Every time I say your name, I’ll remember you killed him because of me. You took something precious. You didn't just kill Robin. You killed me too."
"Dove..."
"No." She turns around to face me. "Every time you try to kiss me, I'll resist you. Every time you lay your fingers on me, I'll make myself sick after. And every time you put your cock near me, I'm going to hurt myself. Can you live with that, Nox?"
"I won't fucking let you."
"If you really want to stop me, you'll have to kill me, too."
"Dove, don't be fucking ridiculous," I grunt. "I'm going to take care of you, little bird."
She doesn't say another word. Her gaze wanders off into nothing and she just stares ahead. I touch her. I talk to her. She lets me walk her to the bed. She cries while I kiss her. I can't do this. I fucking can't.
"You don't want me anymore?" I whisper in her ear. She doesn't respond. She just keeps crying.
It's getting light outside and we haven't slept. She looks pale as a ghost and somehow sickly green at the same time.
"Let me fix it," I say. "Let me make it better. Let me make it right."
She doesn't say a word.
"Fuck." I get up. I have to use the bathroom, but I'm nervous about her leaving if I do. I leave the door open and take a piss but she doesn't try to run. She just paces the room.
When I come back though, Dove's holding a pair of scissors like a fucking weapon.
"Don't, Dove," I mutter. "You don't want to hurt yourself again, do you?"
"This is the last time you're going to see me."
"What the fuck?" I growl.
"If I ever see you again, Nox, I'm going to the cops and telling them what you did to Robin."
"Dove, don't." I rush to her. She waves the scissors but I don't let her intimidate me. I don't give a shit if she cuts me. I just want to convince her to stay. "I'll make it right. I'll do everythi
ng. Anything."
She just keeps shaking her head, her hand trembling. The scissors clatter to the floor. I don't try to move closer.
"I need to leave," she whispers. "I mean it, Nox. I can't forgive you. I'll never forgive you. If I see you again, you will pay."
"Dove, let me change your mind."
"No!" she roars this time. "No, you've taken fucking enough from me. I'm done letting you steal my life. My people. I'm done with you. Done."
"But Dove, I..." I bite my lower lip. Fuck. Can I even fucking say it? Will it make a difference now? I've known it for a long time. "Dove, I love you."
"It doesn't matter," she admits brokenly. "I don't love you. Stay away, or else."
She backs away. There's so much fucking fire in those beautiful eyes. Dark, resilient, angry fire. She's going to be okay. She's going to get through this. But she'll do it without me.
As for me, I'm not sure how I'll survive the hurricane that just came in and ruined my goddamn life.
The last memory I have of Dove Canterbury is her slamming the motel room door closed on me and leaving me the shell of a man I used to be. She even takes the hoodie. She has evidence against me now. She really could turn me in.
And yet my first thought isn't how to get over the woman whose life I've ruined. No, it isn't – because I'm sick, and I can't help myself, and I'm already fucking plotting how to stalk her until she gets over this. Until she changes her mind.
She has to.
Chapter 32
Dove
I don't know how I find my way home after everything at the motel. I'm in a delirious trance, bumping into people as tears stream down my face. My heart is pounding, my head heavy with disbelief and the shocking discovery I made today. Nox is a monster. A cruel, vicious monster.
I know he thinks he did this to help me. But he's destroyed my very soul. I already know I can never forgive him for what happened. I'll never forget what he took away from me.
Getting home, I slam the front door closed and fall to my knees. Now that I'm finally separated from him, I can see things clearly. I can see Nox for the monster he truly is. The deviant who's killed and hurt people to get to me. The stalker who kidnapped me and held me captive to fulfill his sick, twisted fantasy. And I almost fell for it.
Tyrant Stalker: A Dark Forbidden Romance (Tyrant Dynasty Book 2) Page 20
