Crazy for Your Love - Lexi Ryan

by Lexi Ryan

I follow her gaze to the bustle of the aunts’ excited squeals as Sabrina steps onto the patio. My cousin is as striking as ever with her long red hair and perfect ivory skin. I was so jealous of her when we were growing up. She was the classic American beauty that adolescent me longed to be. It took me until I was in college to see the beauty of my olive skin, dark hair, and dramatic curves.

  Those insecurities slammed back into me full force when Health cheated on me with her. It was just once. One drunken blow job. The first domino of many that turned my happy little life into a disaster I needed to run from.

  Sabrina doles out hugs to our relatives before spotting Saanvi and rushing toward us with open arms. “Saanvi! I thought I’d never get here.”

  Sighing, my sister hugs our cousin. “That makes two of us.”

  “I’m so sorry I missed the rehearsal. And the henna!” Sabrina steps back and takes one of Saanvi’s hands in hers, investigating it in the dim light. “Oh, it’s beautiful.”

  “Thank you,” Saanvi says, and I can feel the tension drain from her. She’s never been able to stay mad at Sabrina for long. “Pari said she can come to your room tonight to do your hands if you want.”

  Sabrina presses her palm to her chest. “She’d do that for me? That would be wonderful.” She smiles at me, but I can’t help but notice that she doesn’t offer me a hug. “Teagan, it’s so good to see you.”

  “You too.” We’re both lying, and we know it. I already feel an ache in my gut at the sight of the cousin. She’s never forgiven me for what she saw in Heath’s bedroom that day more than four years ago, and I’ve never had the courage to explain. I let her believe the worst of me because the truth made me feel even dirtier than the lie.

  “How’d the rehearsal go?” she asks, her gaze swinging back to Saanvi.

  “Smoothly, considering we were missing a bridesmaid,” Saanvi says, but there’s no bitterness in her voice. “Teagan’s boyfriend stood in as you while we ran through the ceremony and figured out where everyone will stand.”

  My gaze drifts to Carter again. His antics at the rehearsal gave me my only genuine smiles of the whole afternoon. Carter made us all laugh, pretending to hold a bouquet and lifting his imaginary skirts as he walked up and down the church steps.

  “I didn’t know you had a boyfriend,” Sabrina says, smacking my arm lightly. “Do tell!”

  I shrug. “We’ve been dating a couple of months. His name is Carter Jackson.” I nod across the patio to the man in question. He’s engrossed in one of my dad’s stories and doesn’t notice us.

  “And he’s a dream,” Saanvi says. “You should see how he looks at her. It’s something out of a fairytale.”

  Something shifts in Sabrina’s expression as she takes Carter in.

  Saanvi squeezes Sabrina’s shoulder. “I need to go rescue Liam. If I had to guess by the way she keeps gesturing to his butt, I’d say Aunt Tammy is giving him her fiber lecture. I’m glad you made it safely. We’ll talk later.”

  She rushes over to Liam, who’s looking mildly horrified as our mother’s sister speaks. I can’t hear their conversation over the music, but I catch the words bowels and roughage, and I know Saanvi’s mission is indeed dire.

  “I didn’t realize you were dating Carter Jackson,” Sabrina says.

  “Well . . .” I swallow. “We were friends first, so we kept it quiet for a while. We didn’t want everyone’s expectations weighing on us. You know?”

  She worries her bottom lip between her teeth as she stares at him. “I guess that makes sense.” Crossing her arms, she rubs her hands over her bare shoulders. “And to think I believed this would be the weekend you finally got back together with Rich.” She meets my gaze, and there’s something hard and bitter in those icy blue eyes.

  “Rich and I are over for good.”

  “Hmm. We’ll see.”

  I want to rail at her for judging me for what she thinks I did to Heath when Heath cheated on me with her. Hypocrite much, Sabrina? But she never believed she did anything wrong with Heath. He’d told her about a fight we were having, and she assumed we were breaking up. The truth is that Heath was drunk, and she saw an opportunity to get him back. She believed what she wanted to believe. I bite the inside of my cheek and push down the old anger—at her, at Heath.

  “How long did you say you and Carter have been together?” she asks.

  “Casually for a while, I guess, but we’ve gotten serious the last two months.” I swallow the bitter taste the lie leaves in my mouth. I’m not close to Sabrina, but she’s the person here who would most enjoy catching me in this lie. I guess that’s what I signed up for by asking Carter to pretend to be my boyfriend.

  “Did Carter ever . . . mention me?”

  I frown. I didn’t expect that. “You and Carter know each other?”

  Her porcelain-perfect cheeks flush bright red. “We don’t know each other. Not well, at least. I came to town and interviewed him.” She clears her throat and dodges my gaze. “After the whole puppy-rescue thing?”

  She came to Jackson Harbor and didn’t even tell me she was here. Of course. Because she still doesn’t like me after . . . everything. I try not to let it sting, but it does. “Did you tell him you were my cousin?”

  She shrugs. “Your name never came up.”

  I lift my chin. “I guess you had no way of knowing he and I were close friends.”

  “And more,” she says softly. “Apparently.”

  For the first time, Carter tears his attention away from my father and looks across the patio, spotting us. There’s heat in his eyes when he grins at me, his eyes dragging over my dress in a way that suggests how he plans to peel it off me later. Then his gaze shifts to Sabrina, and he does a double take and pales.

  I don’t blame him. He wants the attention from the puppy incident to die down, and now he’s going to be right next to a story-hungry journalist for the rest of the weekend.

  “You know, I’m feeling a little jet-lagged,” Sabrina says. “I think I’ll go say goodnight to the happy couple and see about getting Pari to do my henna in the morning so I can tuck in early.” Her throat bobs. “I want to be at my best for Saanvi’s big day tomorrow.”

  I nod. I’ve had enough awkward small talk anyway. I’m ready to sneak away with Carter, apologize for my mood at dinner, and have him hold me until I forget that Rich was in our room earlier. Instead I have to figure out how to get to Rich’s room tonight without Carter knowing. “Okay, sure. It was good to see you.”

  “You too.” Her gaze lands on Carter again, but this time I see something like longing in her eyes.

  He’s mine, bitch. I swallow the hateful words, and when she brings her gaze back to me, I simply smile. “Sleep well.”

  Carter

  I can’t tear my eyes off the redhead as she walks away from Teagan and heads into the building. Sabrina the journalist and the journalist bridesmaid are the same fucking person. If I hadn’t been so preoccupied by Teagan and the shit with Rich, maybe the thought would have occurred to me. It should have.

  I’m so fucked.

  Frantically, I look to Teagan. I need to get her alone so we can figure out what the hell we’re supposed to do. I stare her down, trying to get her attention, but she’s busy staring at her phone. Seems like she’s been busy staring at anything but me all night. I hate it. It’s like she’s already pushing me away, and I have to remind myself over and over again not to cling to that which was never mine.

  “You’re coming out with us tonight, right, Carter?” Liam asks.

  “Of course he is,” Trevor says, slinging an arm around my shoulders. “Guys gotta stick together.”

  “I don’t know. I was hoping to turn in early with my girl.”

  Trevor waves away my objection. “You get to see her all the time. When’s the next time we’ll all get to go out again? Probably not until you and Teagan tie the knot.”

  I swallow at the image his words flash into my mind and the feeling that it’s beyond my reach. T
eagan in white, wearing my ring, promising to be mine. Don’t think about it.

  “Just for a couple of drinks,” Liam says, grinning. “Come on. You can make sure we order the best beers. We’re counting on you.”

  My phone buzzes. Teagan. But once again it’s not, and when I see the text, my stomach sinks.

  Sabrina: Does she know we slept together?

  I darken the screen before the curious eyes around me can read it. I feel this whole charade falling apart. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I need to talk to Teagan so we can figure out a plan. She’s already pushing me away. What happens when she finds out I had a one-night stand with her cousin? Will she shut down, stop this between us before we even get a real chance to start? Should we tell Sabrina the truth to keep this from imploding on us? Tell her Teagan and I weren’t exclusive back when Sabrina came to town? At the very least, we need to get our stories straight.

  “What do you say?” Liam asks. “Join us?”

  I slide my phone back into my pocket as it buzzes again, just as Rich returns to the party and takes Teagan by the arm. My whole body goes into battle mode.

  Don’t fucking touch her.

  “Everything okay, Carter?” Liam asks.

  “Yeah. I think so. I’ll be right back.”

  “Carter,” Rich calls when he spots me walking toward them. He waves me over. “Just the man I want to see.”

  I watch Teagan’s posture beside this man she loathes, a study in casual grace. Is she trying to pretend that he doesn’t bother her for the sake of the rest of the party? I know she doesn’t want anything to do with Rich—or so she says—but then, she couldn’t keep her eyes off him tonight. What’s that about? And why has she kept me at an arm’s length all afternoon? Did something happen between them?

  “What did you think of the gift I left you two earlier?” He beams, bright eyes and a wide smile, as if he’s truly our friend.

  “What gift?”

  Rich looks at Teagan and cocks a brow before looking back at me, confused. “You haven’t been to your room?”

  I fold my arms. I don’t know what the fuck he’s talking about, but I have a feeling that if I admit that, it’ll be some giant gotcha. “Did you need something, Rich?”

  He shakes his head slowly. “You two are really something. I’m starting to figure out what that something is.” He smacks me on the back—harder than necessary. “Are you going out tonight? You should be there for Teagan’s future brother-in-law. That’s what Teagan’s boyfriend would do, right?”

  I try to catch Teagan’s eye to get some sort of feel from her about how I’m supposed to handle all of this, but she’s still staring at the ground. Did she tell him this is all fake? Why won’t she look me in the eye?

  Dammit. I need to talk to her. Alone. I need to tell her about Sabrina so we can decide how to deal with it. Together. Our lies are crumbling beneath our feet, and with them, the fragile beginnings of this thing between us.

  I touch her wrist gently. “I don’t need to go out. I’ll stay with you.”

  She shakes her head, still avoiding my eyes. “Liam wants you there. You should go with him. I’ll be with Saanvi most of the night anyway.”

  I touch her one last time, not wanting to let go but knowing she’s right—Rich is right. I should go with Liam. Teagan and I can talk later. She’ll do her thing with the bride and I’ll have a couple of drinks with the groom and groomsmen. We can talk when we both get back to the room.

  Two hours later, and I have to admit that I’m procrastinating. I’m nervous about the conversation I need to have with Teagan, and hanging out with the guys is the perfect excuse to avoid it.

  Rich declined the invitation to join us, so at least I don’t have to deal with his shit, and hanging out with Liam is no hardship. Honestly, if this guy lived in Jackson Harbor, I could see us being good friends. He’d fit in great with my family, and so would Saanvi. But I know my decision to have a third beer is less about enjoying the company of Liam and his groomsmen and more about avoiding a conversation about Sabrina. Am I making a bigger deal of this than it is? Will Teagan hold it against me when I tell her I slept with her cousin?

  You know how you aren’t sure you want to be with me for real because you’re afraid I’ll break your heart? Well, hey, I might have a head start on that.

  I vacillate between telling myself that it doesn’t matter—Teagan and I weren’t together, pretend or otherwise, when I slept with Sabrina—and trying to figure out how I can keep the truth from Teagan altogether.

  All in all, I’m enjoying the safe little bubble of Jackson Brews, until Sabrina walks in the door and I wish I were anywhere else.

  I half expect her to march up to our table and start chewing me out, but I guess I should have given her more credit. She catches my eye from her spot at the bar and nods toward the door before heading back out the way she came in.

  “Are you okay?” Liam asks, frowning at me. He turns around, scanning the room. “You look like you saw a ghost.”

  I paste on a smile. “That last beer hit me pretty hard. I’ll be right back.” I head toward the bathroom, waiting until the last second before changing direction and heading to the door.

  When the doors close behind me, Sabrina waves me over from her spot in the alley.

  Cringing, I reluctantly follow. The last time I was in this alley with her . . . well, she wanted me to fuck her against the building, and I was barely sober enough to realize that was a terrible idea and I should take her home instead.

  I keep to the street side of the alley, not anxious to slip into the shadows with a woman who continued to text me after I told her I had a girlfriend. “Hey,” I say softly.

  “Hey.” She takes a step toward me and scans my face. “How are you?”

  I shrug. Been better.

  “I feel like a bitch for being persistent with the texts. I didn’t realize it was serious.” She bites her lip. “And I definitely didn’t realize it was Teagan. I haven’t told her about our night together. And if I had to guess from the look of terror in your eyes right now, neither have you.”

  I swallow. I want to tell myself that she’s misreading me, but I do feel guilty—whether that’s rational or not. I feel guilty for sleeping with Sabrina to begin with, guilty for not making Teagan talk to me before I left tonight, and guilty for the lies I’m about to tell a woman I had in my bed less than a month ago. What can I do but continue to play the part of the boyfriend, even if it makes me look like a jackass?

  “Did you know I was her cousin when you slept with me?” she asks.

  I drag a hand through my hair. “No. You didn’t mention it, and your last name isn’t Chopra. It’s . . .” Fuck. I have no idea. Did she even tell me her last name? No wonder Jake read me the riot act. I don’t even know who that asshole was.

  Sabrina lets out a small squeak. “Cruise.”

  Right. Sabrina Cruise. I remember her byline under the damn article she published. “I didn’t know you were related.”

  “Does she know you were sleeping around?” When I open my mouth, she holds up a hand. “Do you two have an . . . agreement or something? I’m not judging. I just need to know what kind of mess I’ve walked into.”

  Her question makes me think of that weird conversation I had with Rich in the dining room this morning. What was it he said? That Teagan made sure she did what she needed to stay satisfied?

  What happened in her old life to give these people an impression of her that is so completely different than the woman I know?

  “It’s not like that,” I say. I don’t think Teagan would ask me to play the part of her boyfriend and then have me tell her family we have an open relationship.

  Sabrina grips her little red purse in both hands, her knuckles white. “So she doesn’t know?”

  “I don’t want to hurt her.” As soon as the words are out, I realize they’re true. Teagan would be hurt if she knew I slept with Sabrina. I’m afraid I’ll lose her completely if I tell her the truth abo
ut Sabrina before I figure out what scared her off this afternoon.

  “And I don’t want her to hurt you.”

  I frown. This seems like an odd time for her to worry about my heart, given that she thinks I betrayed Teagan.

  Sabrina sighs. “What a mess.”

  “I’m really sorry. That night with you . . .” Telling a woman I took home that she was a mistake feels like a jackass thing to do, even if it’s true, so I don’t let myself finish that sentence. “I’m sorry.”

  She blows out a breath. “No big deal. I mean, you two can’t be too serious, right? So we keep it under wraps, and in a week or two it won’t matter.”

  “Teagan’s my girlfriend.” And I’m fucking praying I’ll still be able to say that next week.

  Sabrina snorts. “Sure. For now.”

  The words are worse than a knee to my nuts. “I’ll tell her about what happened with us, but let me . . .” I turn away, watching as my brother Ethan pushes out of the bar with his wife Nic. Arm in arm, they look so damn happy. I want that, and I know exactly who I want it with. I’ve known since that day I pulled her into my arms at the lake. I take a step into the shadows so they can’t see me, waiting until they pass before I speak again. “Let me find the right time to tell her. She has enough going on this weekend, and I don’t want to ruin it.”

  “So you know she’s meeting Rich tonight?”

  My stomach sinks. “Why? Did he need something?”

  Sabrina laughs, a low, sardonic chuckle. “Oh, bless your heart, Carter. Didn’t you wonder why Rich didn’t join the guys? And Teagan conveniently had a ‘stomachache’ when Saanvi and the others left for the martini bar. If you really think Rich and Teagan are alone in that big mansion together and not banging each other’s brains out, then you don’t know her nearly as well as you think you do.”

  What the fuck with all of her family thinking they belong together? “Sabrina, listen, I think you’re hurt and maybe a little jealous, and throwing around some pretty gross assumptions.”

  “Oh, hell yes, I’m jealous. I’m always jealous of Teagan because she gets everything she wants and then she throws it away.” She blows out a breath. “I know what I’m talking about when it comes to Tea and Rich. I know better than anyone.” She laughs again. “I’m guessing she didn’t tell you all the details about their history, did she?”