Catching Epics

by Halie Fewkes

  I set my gaze on the ground and drove a wildflower into the dirt with the toe of my sandal as his breathless words became wordless breathing.

  He finally went on, “I like to say it’s Sav’s fault she died, because we wouldn’t have been running if not for him… but I’m the one who did it.”

  “I’m really sorry,” I said. I wished I had a better knack for words so I could say something profound, or at least a little meaningful. I wanted him to know how sincerely I felt his pain and wanted to make it better.

  He swallowed and said, “It was so long ago. I don’t know why it still hurts like it does.”

  “Some wounds are always meant to sting,” I said. I could feel sadness all the way from my heart to the cold cascade of dirt falling between my toes.

  Archie slouched heavily against an old, bent maple trunk and leaned back until his head rested in the moss.

  “I just can’t do it again,” he said, eyes staring into nothing. “Some people can just grieve and get it over with, but… some people have to count to a hundred thousand to avoid thinking at all. Some people can’t move, can’t function, and they learn to hold their breath for minutes so they don’t have to feel the shakiness of each stuttered breath, reminding them how broken they are.”

  I opened my mouth to say I understood, but Archie shook his head like I just couldn’t grasp what he meant. “There are people who cry, and there are people who lay beneath the same blanket for weeks without even being able to breathe through their nose. And everything hurts from shuddering for so long, and that constant sting behind your eyes turns into a throbbing headache that you just can’t sleep off, no matter how hard you try.”

  Archie wrung his hands together. “And everything feels hopeless. It feels like everyone you see with a smile is faking it, and they’re just expecting you to do the same.”

  I closed my mouth and bore the weight of those words in silence. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and tell him how sorry I was, but I knew he’d move away from me. Such was the nature of our relationship. Such was all it could ever be.

  So I looked in his eyes instead, the most beautiful blue I’d ever known, beneath the golden hair he’d inherited through no fault of his own.

  “Archie… No matter where we are, or how bad things get, you never have to pretend you’re happy for me.”

  He gave me a grateful smile. “I know you’ve never wanted that. It’s just… you and Emery and Robbiel and Karissa all worried over me and took care of me while I was grieving… You did every single thing friends could possibly do, but I couldn’t pull myself together. When I laughed with you though, I could see relief in your eyes, and I realized I had the ability to make all of you feel better. It took a while, but I learned to wear a smile all the time, and… Maybe none of it was real, but sometimes it doesn’t matter if it’s real or not. I don’t hurt when I’m laughing.”

  Archie drew a deep breath and let it slowly escape through his teeth while I watched him.

  “And then I came to the Dragona last year to bail you out of trouble, and… something changed. You and I were sparring on the table tops in the Wreck, and you kicked me down onto one of the chairs, and I remember laughing so hard… I’d forgotten what that felt like, and I suddenly realized I was walking back to my room with a smile on my face and nobody around to pretend for.”

  He shrugged and clasped his hands. “I started to feel like… there was sunshine inside of me, I guess. It sounds stupid, but that’s the best way I can describe it. And over the past months, other things have changed too. I actually got mad at you when you almost killed us both. I haven’t felt anger in… well a long time. And I haven’t…” Archie hesitated and clenched his fingers together uncomfortably. “I haven’t… cried in my sleep in years either. I can’t believe that started again. I mean, it has been years.”

  He shook his head and looked at the ground like he had to pretend I was somewhere else to speak of the matter. “It’s like you’re bringing back all the feelings I worked so hard to numb, and I don’t know if I like them, or if I want them… And I don’t think I do, because I can’t stay with you. And just having to think about that hurts.”

  Words slowly made their way back to me after escaping into space. “You could,” I said, clearing my throat as my voice broke. “You could stay with me.” I held a hand out so he could easily take it. “I understand the danger. I still think you’re worth it.”

  Archie took a hesitant step toward me, wide eyes on my open palm, torn by an unwinnable decision.

  “If I take your hand, then where do we go? We’ll run away, stay best friends, and I’ll tell myself every day that I don’t love you? Try to trick the fate that’s killed every other girl the royal family has ever loved?”

  Archie pressed a hand to the back of mine, closed my fist, and pushed the invitation back to me. I knew we were parting ways, so I wrapped my other hand around his and held his warmth close for the last time in a long time.

  I looked up and said, “I owe you something.”

  I kissed him quickly on the cheek, then pulled him into a tight hug. Archie laughed and said, “I’m going to miss you.”

  “I’ll miss you too,” I said as he squeezed me back with the strength of a Tally and the sincerity of a best friend. “Take care of Liz for me,” I said.

  “I will, and you take care of Ebby,” he said. “Keep yourself safe, and wherever you go, Allie… make sure it’s somewhere I can’t find you.”

  I lowered my eyebrows, still pressed against him as a deep sigh filled his chest. I clarified, “You’re worried somebody will use you to get to me?”

  “The Zhauri already used me to catch you,” Archie said. “And they… know everything about you now, and about me. I told them everything.”

  I tightened my arms around him, knowing he wouldn’t have revealed our secrets willingly. I couldn’t even guess how they’d hurt him, and I asked softly, “Are you alright?”

  “Yeah, I’m fine,” he brushed the question off, sounding entirely casual. Only the tightening of his fingers on my back suggested otherwise. “I’m pretty sure the Zhauri will head back north now, and Sir Avery’s going to be less psychotic about finding Ebby, now that Vack’s dead and Prince Avalask captured.”

  I nodded slowly. “I know things won’t be great for you at the Dragona,” I said, “but will you do what you can to protect him? Prince Avalask?”

  Archie sighed and set his chin on my forehead. “Of course I will. Corliss and I will keep a good watch on the Dragona, and you and Emery can get out to find the other Tallies. We’ll make the most of this.”

  My shoulders slouched at the daunting tasks, but I didn’t want to ruin my last moments with Archie by worrying over them. I glanced past him, looking for two large sticks among the foliage, and when I spotted them, I leapt suddenly away.

  “One last time, before you leave?” I asked, tossing one to him, which he caught on reflex before a smile spread across his face.

  “You sure you want to part in disgrace?” he asked.

  I pushed my knee into my weapon in several places to test its durability as he peeled the bark off his.

  “I don’t know how much disgrace I’ll be leaving in,” I said. “Emery tells me you’re terrible.”

  Archie flipped his stick and caught it as he laughed, then he dashed forward to swing at me, and I deflected his strong blow before spinning to hit back.

  Amid a series of predictable strikes and parries, I said, “I’ll get rid of this curse too, Archie. It’s on my list of things to do.”

  Archie shook his head and said, “You may not be aware of this, but Sir Avery hates you.”

  I laughed through my nose and then sniffled back in loudly. “I’ll find a different way to get rid of it.”

  Archie lowered a shoulder and ran straight into me, regardless of the hard hit I gave him for his recklessness. He grabbed his own stick in two places and used it to pin mine against the tree, above my head. We both stopped f
or a moment, unbearably close.

  “I believe you,” Archie said, his eyes bright as they always were when he smiled. “You just let me know the minute it’s gone, because I want…” he stopped and rethought his words. “I want to be with you. We’ll just leave it at that for now.”

  I smiled devilishly and closed my eyes to forever remember the hint of autumn spices in the pleasantly cool air. “You’ll be the first to know.”

  Epilogue

  Ratuan

  Ratuan wandered through the massive cavern they called the Wreck and played the part of the hero being thanked for his cleverness and bravery — over, and over, and over again. How could nobody come up with a unique form of thanks? How many times did he need to hear how brave and clever and brave and brave and clever and brave he was? Inspirational too — how could he forget how many people he’d inspired with his clever bravery?

  Ratuan smiled with just the perfect amount of humility to be likeable, but not so much as to appear weak and lucky to have pulled off his feat — and he was doing it for the hundredth time of the night when he spotted a girl near the Travelling Baking Show who wiped the smile right off his face.

  The way she held herself was a huge hint, and her purposeful steps as she began walking were a dead giveaway, but it was the shape of her face and her large brown eyes that made her Allie’s sister. They were ringed with exhaustion beneath smooth dark hair, and she glanced in either direction as she hurried from the massive cavern.

  A feeling of rage stirred through Ratuan, reddening his face as he imagined stringing her up right here and now, in front of everybody, to pay for her sister’s crimes. That would make him feel better. Allie deserved to feel the pain he felt. She deserved all of it plus ten thousand times more for taking his Ebby from him, and he would sleep with pleasure tonight knowing he’d crushed something that mattered to her.

  Ratuan excused himself from the latest young girl who’d burst into tears and proclaimed her loyalty to him, and followed Allie’s sister as she slipped into the side tunnels. He moved quickly enough to keep her in sight despite her long strides, and though she hadn’t turned around to look at him, she was moving with such hurry that she must know she was being pursued.

  She rounded a corner at a near trot, and when Ratuan rounded the same corner he saw the tail end of her dark hair as she sprinted around the next curve.

  Allie’s mirror image had legs as long as Ratuan’s and the incentive of fear to make her quick, but Ratuan had grown up as the fastest kid in Tabriel Vale. He was going to catch her.

  Twice he had to stop and listen to which way she’d run, but she’d chosen speed over stealth, so her footsteps echoed noisily.

  The caves opened up to a huge stone room in front of him where her footsteps finally ceased echoing, and Ratuan slowed and stopped in awe. It was a library. He’d heard stories of libraries and almost never believed them, but here it was. Eight long book shelves stretched toward the ceiling far above, and Ratuan hadn’t realized that such a multitude of books existed. Didn’t people ever run out of things to write about?

  The shelves lay to his left, but on his right was a beautiful work of art, whispering secrets to be deciphered. Thousands of thin lines had been etched into the massive wall to make a map of the whole Dragona with hundreds of labels stretching around the caverns and corridors like a massive, intricate snowflake. Ice Mage Wing Two, Combat Cavern One, Weaponry Store Seven, Defensive Training Six, Southeast Living Tunnels, Fire Hall One, Infirmary, Wreck, Everarc Excavation…

  If Ratuan had to order the things he loved most in the world, number one would without any doubt be Ebby. But secondly, he always felt a thrill of excitement at the thought of running his fingers over a well-drawn map — a real-world chess board. He could stare at them for hours, making plans, anticipating the moves of everyone else, and finding the surest way to win. Number three would be the beauty of watching Ebby make maps. She was so artistically gifted, and when he found her, that was all he ever wanted to do — watch her paint, and draw, and make maps to her heart’s content.

  He nearly forgot he’d chased somebody here and had to tear himself away from the wall with the promise that he’d be back to marvel at it later.

  A faint flutter echoed around the room, like a page falling from a high shelf as he moved closer. Something about that map had calmed him, and taking in the aged scent of so many books, all filled with incredible knowledge and power, brought him to his senses.

  He was Ratuan — the brave, the clever. Hurting this girl would make him feel better for how long? An hour? A day? But it was the same as sacrificing a piece from his set. He shouldn’t be trying to destroy her. He needed to find a way to use her.

  Ratuan kept his breathing even, ready for her to jump at him with each shelf he passed, until he came to the very last one, behind which was the cave wall. He cautiously peeked around and saw her.

  “I didn’t know, Ratuan.” She had found a metal beam the length of his arm to brandish defensively, and Ratuan heard shaky fear in her voice, but she wasn’t quiet. She wasn’t weak, or cowering away from him. “Sir Avery has already been in my mind and vouched for me and Archie. We didn’t know she was going to do this. I’m sorry. I would have done something to stop her.”

  Upon assessing everything about her, Ratuan changed his expression to one of shock.

  “I’m sorry if I startled you,” he said, motioning to her two handed grip on the metal bar. “I followed you because I wanted to meet you and make sure you were ok. I don’t know your name.”

  She hesitated and looked him up and down, but her eyes kept coming back to his, watching where he was looking. This girl clearly had a mind between her two ears, and he liked that.

  “It’s Liz,” she said, not loosening her grip in the slightest.

  “I’m sorry to hear about your sister, Liz. It sounds like she hurt you more than any of us.”

  Liz responded with a short bark of a laugh and then shook her head bitterly.

  Ratuan moved closer and couldn’t help noticing several deep scratches at the base of her neck. “Your sister didn’t… give you those, did she?” he asked, using the perfect level of concern.

  Liz set a hand hesitantly on her neck and surprised him by saying, “I guess she sort of did.”

  Ratuan held his own chin up to show her the deep bruises inflicted in the waters outside Glaria. “She gave me these too.”

  Liz’s shoulders sank, and she lowered her metal beam to the ground. If her slouched posture could speak, it would be saying a mix of I am so sorry, and I wish I knew how to make all of this go away.

  Ratuan had to fight to keep a smile from tugging at the corner of his mouth, because she wasn’t the kind of broken that would render her useless, but just the right amount, the kind he could fix. He knew his strengths. It would take time, but Ratuan could make her trust him — of this he was sure.

  “If there’s anything I can ever do for you, please just tell me,” Ratuan said, looking into her dark eyes that looked so similar to Allie’s, fighting down the urge to claw them out. “I just wanted to meet you, and tell you that I’m sorry, and that I’m not mad at you. I’m here to help.”

  The End

  The Secrets of The Tally Series will have five books in total. Visit www.secretsofthetally.com to stay up to date!

  Book I - Secrets of The Tally

  Book II - Catching Epics

  Book III - A Deal For Three

  Book IV - To Be Released Early 2020

  Book V - Expected 2022

  This Book Funded By Kickstarter

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