Forbidden Baby Daddy: A Secret Baby Romance

by Lara Swann

  Okay, maybe these will just be for me. To remember this by.

  I’m so lost in it all that I don’t notice when he opens his eyes, even when his body moves. It’s not until he actually sits up that I blink, my pencil pausing on the paper.

  “Chloe? What are you…” He starts, his voice sounding slightly dazed as he looks over at me.

  “Nothing!” I say quickly, which only sharpens his curiosity, even through the sleep-haze.

  He swings his legs out of the bed, standing up to walk over and I desperately try to cover the page with my hands, face flaming red with total embarrassment.

  It’s a big sketchbook though, and it definitely doesn’t work. He blinks a few times running a hand over his face to clear the sleepiness from his eyes, and when he speaks again, some of the grogginess has faded from his voice.

  “Hey, that’s…that’s really good.” He says, leaning over and seeming totally oblivious to my chagrin.

  “I—it’s—umm—”

  I have no idea how to explain this. I’m not even sure if it’s okay. Is there something about model consent somewhere? I just…I wanted a few drawings of him. And he was so perfect, lying there like that, and drawing is my favorite thing ever and—

  “Ohh. Oh, Chloe.”

  I groan as he obviously notices the centerpiece of one particular drawing.

  “Chloe…” His voice is laced with amusement and I want to bury my head in my hands and sink into the floor and disappear all at once. “This…I wouldn’t have guessed you…this is the kind of art you do, huh?”

  “No!” I say hurriedly. “No, nothing like this, it’s just—”

  Oh goodness, what must he think of me?

  “—just…you were lying there. And you looked so perfect, I couldn’t help it, I wanted to—wanted to—capture some of it. To see whether I could. You were just so beautiful…”

  I stumble to a stop, embarrassment swallowing my words, and he chuckles from above me, still looking at the drawings. I belatedly close the book and set it aside on the floor.

  “Beautiful, huh?” He rumbles, laughing lightly as he pulls me up to stand next to him again. I take the invitation and step into his embrace, burying my head in his neck so that I don’t have to look at him. He doesn’t seem to be reacting that badly, but even so, I can’t completely get over it. “I’m not sure that’s quite what I’m aiming for, you know. Rugged, maybe. Masculine. Devastatingly handsome…”

  The way he says it makes me smile, and I glance up at him a little hesitantly, wary of seeing outrage or disapproval on his face. Instead, it’s simply warm and amused, looking at me with a gentle heat that makes me think of last night all over again.

  I tuck a little closer into him, and finally give him a tentative smile back.

  I still can’t believe he saw those drawings of him…that I did that without thinking at all. The mortification is still burning inside my stomach…but, well, at least he doesn’t seem angry about it.

  “That’s what was beautiful.” I finally murmur, letting him see the open admiration that made me want to draw him. “All that rugged masculinity.”

  He laughs, leaning in to kiss me. “Mm, maybe I can accept that.”

  “I’m sorry—” I start, but he doesn’t let me, his mouth too insistent on mine. When he finally lets up, he’s still smiling.

  “Don’t be. I think they’re amazing - even if I do say so myself.”

  “I didn’t—I didn’t mean for you to see them.” I mumble, which only makes him grin.

  “Well I’m glad I did.” He says, his hands running down to my ass and squeezing gently. “If you’re going to draw all my rugged masculinity, it’s only fair I get to see it.”

  The way he says that makes me groan, and I wonder whether I’m going to regret that comment. I was just so caught up in how good it felt to capture him and how beautiful he looked lying asleep on the bed…

  “Maybe there’s room for both of us to be beautiful here.” He continues, smirking at me as he slowly starts pulling me back toward the bed. “But only if we get to enjoy it properly.”

  I laugh, unable to help it with the way he’s teasing, even if I’m still far too aware that this could have been a lot more awkward. Then he sweeps me up in his arms, kissing me and guiding us back onto the bed - and it’s enough that I stop thinking about what just happened. Instead, thoughts of last night overwhelm me and I remember how much I’d wanted to wake him up, just before the idea of sketching occurred to me.

  As I kiss him back enthusiastically, my hand traveling all over the body I’d just been sketching, I get a burst of satisfaction that I get this anyway - and I didn’t even have to wake him up.

  Chapter Ten

  Ash

  I wake up to Chloe scrambling around, panicking and trying to find all her clothes, the dawn light creeping in around the blinds.

  “Huh?” I mutter, trying to sit myself up in bed. “Chloe…what…”

  I’m never very good after just waking up.

  “I’ve got to go.” She says hurriedly, pulling tights and skirt back on so quickly that she gets everything tangled together. “I’m meant to be working at my parents’ store in an hour.”

  “Okay…” I blink again. An hour still seems like a lot of time. “I’ll take you over there—”

  “No!” She says, then stops and looks at me, obviously taking a deep breath. “I mean, no, thank you but…I…I’m not sure that would be a good idea.”

  I rub my forehead, finally making it out of bed to stand next to her. Well, that tells me just how much her parents know about me - not that I’m surprised.

  “Then how—”

  “I’ll get a bus. Or a cab. I’ll be fine, don’t worry, I just—I’ve just got to go, okay?”

  I’m starting to wonder whether this is really about her parents’ store or if it’s a next-morning freak out about everything that happened last night. I hope not. God, I really do. But…

  As if she can sense the direction of my thoughts, she steps closer to me, wrapping her arms around me and giving me a quick smile.

  “I’m sorry, Ash, really. Thank you for last night - I had a great time. The best time. I just…I really don’t want to have to explain things to my parents right now, you know? I need to get back so they don’t ask too many questions and I just…I’m a bit frazzled...”

  I hug her in close to me, breathing in that sweet, floral scent before letting her go. I want to kiss her too, but I’m suddenly not sure where we stand or what we’re doing anymore. There’s a difference between passion in the heat of the moment, and a kiss goodbye.

  “Sure.” I say, still trying to make sense of it all. I can understand what she means by frazzled - I don’t think either of us got much sleep. “That’s okay. At least let me give you money for the cab, then.”

  I don’t want her rushing home at this time trying to use public transport. It’s too early and I just know she’ll end up walking. She is pregnant with my baby after all. Which is another weird thing that sends my stomach flipping, but not as much as it did before last night. I think maybe I’m starting to get used to the idea.

  “You don’t need to—” She starts, then I see her hesitate.

  “It’s fine. Let me.”

  She bites her lip, but then she finally nods. “Okay. Thank you, Ash, really. For everything.”

  She turns back to gathering her things together and I’m still struggling to catch up to what’s going on. I’m still standing here totally naked. Belatedly, I turn and hunt around for my wallet, trying to find some cash.

  By the time I do and hand it to her, to her grateful smile, she’s obviously ready to go - and then I hesitate.

  “Hey, wait…” I start as she turns to leave, before I even know exactly what I want to say. “We should…we should probably meet up again, right? To talk more about the baby?”

  “Yeah.” She says, quickly enough that it makes me feel slightly better. “Yeah, that would be good. I—um—I’ll
message you later, okay? We can arrange something?”

  I nod. “Sure.”

  “Great.” She grins, hesitates for a moment more, and then turns to walk out the door.

  I’m left standing there, still naked, feeling like a whirlwind just passed me by and turned everything inside out. I run a hand through my hair, letting out a deep sigh, before finally turning and crawling back into bed. I’m not exactly sleepy anymore, but I definitely need a slower start to my morning than that.

  I guess maybe morning-after sex is never going to be a thing with Chloe.

  I groan lightly as I think it, my cock already half-hard at the idea, but I’m mostly amused. At least this time I woke up as she was leaving, instead of to an empty bed. And we got a second round halfway through the night.

  Yeah. That was good.

  I smile as I think of it, my hand drifting down to my cock as it gets more insistent about wanting attention. I’m still half-confused about everything that just happened - and everything that happened last night - but I don’t try to make myself think about it. Instead, I just appreciate what we did have, enjoying the memories that play over my mind.

  It’s more than enough to give me the kind of start I like to have to my morning, even if it would have been so much better with Chloe here too.

  * * *

  I spend the rest of the next few days thinking about Chloe, and our baby, and trying to avoid messaging her to suggest another time to meet up.

  She sends me a message later that first afternoon, just to thank me for the evening, let me know how relieved she is about everything we discussed and tell me she’s trying to work out when we can next meet.

  That should be more than enough - especially since the whole reason we’re meeting is to talk about the baby, and I haven’t exactly had any new thoughts about that - but somehow, I want more anyway.

  I know that the baby is just an excuse and what I really want is to see her again - which is why I won’t let myself suggest it. That can’t be a good idea. It would just confuse things.

  Even more than the sex already did.

  I know that’s the real problem. It’s left me unsure what exactly we’re doing, wondering what that sex might mean - and whether Chloe is as confused as I am.

  We’ve agreed that we’re co-parenting this baby - but after falling into bed together too…well, it’s hard not to think about more. After all, what’s the difference?

  Except there is a difference. I know there is. It’s not even like I want to suggest anything more - I don’t know what the hell I want. The co-parenting is a big enough life change, for both of us. It’s going to be hard enough to work out without trying to add something else into the mix. Anything else is just too much - too much pressure for someone I just met, for me, for everything.

  What we should be focusing on, is getting the having a baby part of this to work - which is what we’re doing and why I’m not suggesting seeing Chloe just to see Chloe.

  It’s just the sex screwing with my brain and making me think about her, anyway, and wonder about things I’m pretty sure I don’t even want. I mean, why would I want a relationship with a girl I’ve met three times now? A girl who has values and religious beliefs and things that probably totally contradict everything I believe in?

  It’s crazy.

  It’s just the baby and the awesome sex that’s making me think that way, and eventually I’ll get my head back on straight. We’ll probably have start having arguments about the baby, the newness of the sex will fall away and then we’ll be left with making the co-parent thing work together. Which is exactly what this should be about.

  In the meantime, I’ll keep seeing Chloe…to talk about the baby…and that will be fine.

  This is just an adjustment period - for both of us - and if some of that adjustment involves crazy-hot-sex too…well…who am I to complain? It’s only going to be temporary.

  When she finally does text me with a suggestion for meeting up, though, all those thoughts disappear, washed away by the weight of what she says.

  Chloe: I’ve booked my first scan for next Friday morning and I was wondering if you’d like to come. You don’t have to or anything, but if you do, it would be lovely to have you there.

  A scan.

  To see our baby.

  I hadn’t even started thinking about anything like that yet - but the idea of it overwhelms me immediately. Being able to see my baby - being there with Chloe as we see our baby…

  Me: I’d love to.

  I text it back straight away, then follow up again, too excited at the thought not to.

  Me: Thank you for inviting me - I can’t wait.

  Chloe: Perfect. Me neither! It’s so exciting.

  I grin as I receive the message and we text back and forth a little bit, all the confusion and hesitation of the week slipping away in the face of a moment like this.

  I might not be exactly sure what we’re doing or how it’s all going to work out - or even what I want - but right now, whatever we’re doing, it is working for us. That’s all that matters.

  And next Friday we get to see our baby.

  Chapter Eleven

  Chloe

  I wait outside the small clinic for Ash to arrive, a mixture of nerves and excitement roiling around in my stomach.

  I can’t wait to get my first glimpse of our baby, but at the same time, I’m a little anxious about how I’m doing this. I still haven’t told my parents what’s going on, so I couldn’t face the idea of going to our family doctor. My health insurance is tied into my Dad’s, too, which means I’ve had to scrimp and save to try to find the money to make this happen.

  It’s stupid, I know it is. I’m going to need the insurance and my parents’ support anyway, and it’s not like they’re not going to find out, so I should have told them now instead of throwing my own money at this, but…I just can’t.

  I don’t know how. Not yet. I’m not ready. It’s too much to admit, and I don’t know what they’ll say about Ash, and I just—ugh. It feels impossible.

  So when I read up on these scans and everything told me that you have to contribute financially anyway, even with insurance, I figured I’d just do this first one myself. Even if it also meant I had to work it into my regular time off from the shop too - combining the usual two afternoons I get into one day without telling my parents why I wanted to do that.

  Ugh. Yeah, that was fun.

  The next scan is the one that’s more important medically, though, and by the time I get to that point I’ll have told my parents and my regular doctor will be involved too. It buys me another couple of months, which right now, I desperately feel like I need.

  It’s a relief when Ash shows up, the excitement on his face enough to distract me from all of that for a moment.

  “Hey!” He says, grinning at me.

  “Hi.” I smile back. “I’m glad you could make it.”

  I mean it, too. This is something special and I want to share it with someone.

  “I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.” He murmurs, taking my hand and squeezing it, making my heart skip a beat for a moment as he turns toward the door. “Ready?”

  I nod, swallowing slightly and squeezing his hand back.

  Yeah. I’m really glad he’s here.

  We walk in and announce our arrival at reception, before being shown to a waiting room and sitting down next to each other.

  “Nice place.” He murmurs, and I give him a half-awkward smile.

  He doesn’t seem to realize that this is the specialized kind of clinic you go to if you aren’t doing this the normal way, and I’m a little relieved I don’t have to explain anything. I’m not sure I could admit all that right now.

  “Yeah…I guess so.” I whisper back, glancing around at the other couples in the room automatically.

  It’s strange, to think I’m sitting here like this with Ash, as if we were the same as any other couple here. As if we were together together. Part of me wonders whet
her that’s what people think. It probably is - and it definitely feels easier to just let people believe that, than to have to explain it.

  “How’ve you been?” He murmurs.

  “Okay.” I reply, keeping my voice quiet. “How about you?”

  I don’t know what it is about waiting rooms that makes everyone speak in a hushed tone, but I can’t help feeling like everyone can hear what we’re saying anyway.

  “Yeah, not bad. Thinking about this a fair bit.”

  That makes me smile, and I squeeze his hand again. He has a way of saying just the right thing to make me feel good - about this, and everything else too.

  “Me too.” I say, and I have to stop myself from adding ‘I missed you’.

  I tell myself that’s a weird thing to say. It’s not like I know him very well or I’ve spent much time with him. Sure, some of that has been pretty intimate, but even so…

  Is it normal to miss the father of your child? Even when it’s not really about him being a part of your life, just your child’s?

  Before the child even arrives?

  The receptionist walks back in, interrupting those thoughts as she calls out my name.

  Ash and I glance at each other before standing up and following her out of the room.

  This is it.

  I stop trying to understand the strange mix of feelings that I have toward Ash - who knows how many of those are just pregnancy hormones anyway - and let myself get caught up in the idea that I’m about to see my baby.

  We make our way through the clinic and are welcomed into one of the rooms by the sonographer.

  “I’m Kelly.” She introduces herself, looking me over and smiling warmly. “This is your first scan, right?”

  I nod, a few of the nerves returning as I take a seat on the exam table, the back of it raised to give me something to lean against.

  “Well, you’ve got nothing to worry about - just relax there and in a few moments…we’ll have your baby on screen for you to see.”

  That makes me smile again, and I glance back to Ash to see the same expression on his face. At her urging I lift up my top, revealing a belly that doesn’t even look a little bit swollen yet. Part of me wishes it did - even though that would make it even harder not telling my parents yet - just so I could see something of my baby.