Forbidden Baby Daddy: A Secret Baby Romance

by Lara Swann

  “Oh…damn.” She whispers, looking at me like I’ve grown another head. That’s not quite what I was hoping for, but I hold her gaze steadily anyway, letting her see everything I’m thinking and feeling - how desperately I want her. “Are you…do you…mean it?”

  “Every word.” I say, with more conviction than I can ever remember having. “More than anything else in my life.”

  She bites her lip as she looks at me, tears still falling from her eyes - and I can see the vast sweep of emotion across her face, too much to name - before she finally lets out a quick gasp and nods.

  “Y-yes. Yes…I want that too, Ash…I want it all with you. It’s just—it’s so—” She gasps again, a sob ripping through her, and I know there’s far more in that than a simple expression of joy or pain. It’s more like an exhalation, a half-release of tension and confusion and so much emotion all at once. I know because I feel it too - because there’s so much of the same thing ripping through my body as well.

  “I know.” I whisper, standing up and finally pulling her into my arms the way I’ve been longing to. “It’s too much. It’s all too much, right now. But I want this anyway - I want you to be mine, Chloe, in every way. I’ve wanted it for so long.”

  She nods, a jerky movement that she repeats again, seemingly undone from the tide of emotion.

  “Me too.” She whispers back. “I thought—I thought it wasn’t going to happen.”

  “I was scared it wouldn’t. I know—I know it’s a lot. We can sort through it however you like - but I wanted you to know I’m serious about this. About you. Whatever you want, Chloe. Just be mine.”

  She nods again, and this time when she looks up at me the joy and hope is starting to gleam through again.

  “I am.” She whispers back. “I don’t think…I ever stopped…even when I wanted to. I’m yours, Ash. I don’t think you even needed the ring for that. You’ve ruined me.”

  I laugh, very softly, at the way she groans at that part at the end - and then I lean in and kiss her, desperately, passionately, intently. Everything I’ve wanted for the last two weeks wrapped up in that one moment, heat sweeping through me as I feel the sweet softness of her lips again. I can taste just a hint of her and it makes me long for more. So much more. A lifetime of more.

  She moans into me, stepping closer still, and it’s not until she knocks against the still-open ring box that I remember where we are - or what I’m supposed to be doing. I take one last, lingering kiss and then finally pull back, bringing the ring between us again.

  “I might not need the ring…” I murmur, holding her gaze with my own, too much between us to possibly voice it all. “But I’d like to give it to you anyway.”

  She flushes, and I see the pleasure spreading across her face as she looks down at it, one hand still covering her mouth in shock.

  It’s not an expensive ring - I don’t have the money for that - but I spent hours agonizing over which one to pick. In the end I went for a beautiful soft pink stone simply because when I looked at it, it made me think of her.

  The way she blushes, the sweetness of her skin, the ripe purity of her…just everything. It’s set with a ring of smaller stones around it, clear and sparkling, just like her. They’re not diamonds, but to me they look just as good.

  I take it out of the box and slip it onto her finger, then raise her hand to my mouth and kiss it, holding her gaze.

  “I love you, Chloe - and I’m never going to let you go. I promise.”

  She melts into me and I finally get to hold her the way I’ve wanted to this whole time, kissing the top of her head again and knowing that even if things aren’t quite resolved - not totally, not so soon - they will be eventually.

  “That was perfect!”

  It’s not until the voice exclaims from behind us that where we are comes flooding back to me, too caught up in Chloe to notice anything else. I glance around to find there are a small group of people around us - at a respectful distance, enough that I don’t think they heard what I said exactly - but still very obviously watching. My stomach churns a little - that’s my fault, obviously, for doing it here - but I was really hoping to find a way not to make this public. I didn’t want to give Chloe that pressure.

  “Ugh…what?” I turn around, my brow drawing together as I see the pristine, fashionable woman grinning at us enthusiastically.

  She’s not looking at me, though - it’s Chloe she’s grinning at.

  “The perfect stunt - ohh, it just adds so much to the piece!” She says eagerly, walking around us and looking us over as if inspecting us. “The perfect fourth panel. Chloe, you really have outdone yourself.”

  I look between them, frowning, my mind still trying to catch up.

  “Um, err…” Chloe stammers beside me, finally twisting around in my embrace to look at the woman.

  “It wasn’t a stunt.” I say bluntly, my gaze narrowing at her. “I meant every word of it.”

  The woman glances at me briefly, but her smile only deepens.

  “Even better!” She says excitedly. “I hope you don’t mind, but I took some photos. It’s the sort of thing that’s bound to generate some real buzz. I hope you don’t mind if I send them around a few places?”

  Chloe and I look at each other and I can see the hesitation in her expression - almost read what’s behind it. I suddenly appreciate the nature of that opportunity for her here, even if I’m still slightly bristling from my proposal being called ‘a stunt’.

  “It’s okay.” I murmur to her, squeezing her shoulder. “Whatever you want, Chloe. If this could help…let it.”

  She bites her lip, looking up at me and clutching me close for a moment.

  “It was not a stunt.” She whispers back. “None of it. I meant everything, but…”

  I see the hesitation again, and nudge her.

  “Do it.” I whisper again, and she finally relaxes against me as she turns back to the woman looking at me expectantly.

  “Okay.” She says, nodding. “Okay, yes, go ahead. If you think it will generate a bit more interest.”

  “But we want copies of those photos, too.” I add, suddenly secretly glad someone was taking photos of that moment. It’s one I know I’m going to want to look back on and treasure for the rest of my life.

  “Yes, yes, of course.” She says distractedly, already playing with her phone. “By tomorrow, they’ll be everywhere anyway…”

  I wonder whether she’s being a little optimistic there, but from the look of her I’d guess she does know this world - and if Chloe can get a leg up, if I can help her with that in any way…I slowly start to smile.

  Maybe this has gone better than I ever could have imagined.

  Chloe chats to the woman for a while longer and they exchange excited conversation I can barely follow. I don’t really want to listen - I just want to look at the spark in Chloe’s eyes. The passion there. The intensity.

  Maybe her next paintings should be self-portraits. Maybe I’ll suggest that to her.

  When the woman finally leaves to take care of something else, Chloe comes back to me, slipping her arm around my waist and sighing softly. The simple gesture fills me with warmth - just knowing that we’re back to that, to simple, easy affection again.

  Things are going to be alright. They really are.

  I look down at the ring on her finger and smile again.

  More than alright.

  Perfect.

  Epilogue

  Chloe

  “Ohh Ash…it’s beautiful.”

  I murmur, as he helps me over a fallen tree and some of the view beyond starts to open up. We’re walking through a forest somewhere so remote that I don’t think I’ve heard anyone else around us since the taxi pulled up to let us out. Ash is great at finding these hidden, secret places you can go to get away from everyone and everything else - which was exactly what I needed.

  At thirty-seven weeks pregnant, it’s more of a waddle than a walk, and our pace is certainly slow - but
it’s so much better than being cooped up inside for so long. With how cranky I was getting at feeling like I couldn’t get out anymore, I definitely needed this.

  Ash too - he’s been feeling bad about going out on the bikes ever since I stopped being able to, but I can definitely tell when that need to get away from civilization rises up inside him, and he’s been pushing it away too much recently.

  It’s enough that I’ve seriously started trying to convince him we need a car. He’s reluctant - and sure, the bikes are great - but what are we going to do when the baby comes along? Just not go anywhere? I’m not taking my baby on a motorbike! It’s bad enough that I’ve barely been able to leave Baltimore these last few months.

  So I’m beyond grateful that he finally organized this trip out here. It’s a long way to pay for a taxi, but he insisted it would be worth it - and he’s been totally right.

  He might need to reconnect with nature, or something like that, every so often - but I’m just loving the chance to reconnect with him. He stays right beside me the whole time, almost as if guarding me from anything that could possibly happen to my overly-pregnant self while we’re out here, and helps me with the walk. We take plenty of breaks - and he brought plenty of snacks - and the time together is just perfect.

  “Thank you.” I murmur, leaning into him as we walk a little further.

  He grins. “I think if we go just a little further, there will be a good rest spot up ahead.”

  I laugh, rolling my eyes at him. “Didn’t we only just rest?”

  “Yeah, but we don’t want you to get tired, there’s still the walk back eventually and—”

  “Believe me, Ash, I’m not going to be shy about when I’m getting tired.”

  He gives me a sidelong glance. “Yeah…I guess if the last few months have been anything to go on, I can rely on that.”

  “Hey.” I object, nudging his arm, but I’m laughing too. It’s not exactly unfair. “You’re the one that did this to me.”

  “As you’ve reminded me, many times.” He leans in to give me a quick kiss, and then it goes on long enough that I have to remember that’s not why we came all the way out here to such an isolated place. Even if that’s hard right now. “And aren’t you grateful?”

  He smirks at me, knowing just how excited I am for this baby - the same as he is too.

  I grumble at him, but it’s good-natured, and he takes my hand to lead me toward the clearing I can see emerging ahead of us. I hold it tightly in my own, my thumb stroking against the ring on his finger like I always do, the warmth of it filling me. I’ve got a matching one on my hand too, and I still can’t stop staring at it.

  Married.

  Who would ever have believed it?

  In such a short space of time, I’ve gone from having an empty life with no real direction…to everything I could have ever wanted, even if I never would have imagined this at the time.

  It wasn’t a fancy ceremony or anything, but I didn’t need any of that. That wasn’t the point of it - all we wanted was to be married. The meaning of it comes from everything we do after that point, not throwing a huge party to celebrate getting to that point. Though that is something worth celebrating in itself, after everything it took to get here - and Ash and I did celebrate a lot that night. In our own way.

  It meant enough to me that Ash insisted on it - that we do it that way - just because he knew how much it meant to me to be married before this baby arrived. Maybe it’s silly, but the idea of starting this right - of being a proper family together, in every way - just fills me with warmth and happiness. This is the world I want to bring my baby into and how I want to do it.

  I can’t describe how good it feels to know how much Ash supports me in all that. If I could have fallen any more in love with him, I know I did at that moment.

  The trees start to clear ahead of us and I pick up the pace a little. My back is starting to ache.

  Okay. Maybe a break will be a good idea after all.

  Ash helps me through another patch of undergrowth, and as I step carefully over it, I stop as warmth spreads down my legs.

  Oh…goodness. Did I just pee?

  I’ve been partly needing to for a while, but with the baby pressing on my bladder the whole time, that’s pretty much standard. I thought I could just ignore it, and I flush with mortification at the idea. I didn’t think it was that bad—

  “Chloe?” Ash is looking back at me, clearly concerned. “Are you okay?”

  “Yes…” I say, still embarrassed. “I just…I think I might have…”

  I glance down at myself, feeling the moisture still slipping down my legs - and then I freeze, wide eyed as I look back at Ash. He says it before I can.

  “Oh shit, is that—have your waters broken?”

  “I—I—oh God help me, I think so.”

  I reach out, clutching at a tree as I suddenly sway, unable to believe it. Not now. C’mon, I’ve been wanting this baby to get here already for months now…but…right now?!

  Ash rushes over to me, steadying me and holding me close.

  “What…what do we do?” He asks, wide-eyed.

  “Call—call a taxi—an ambulance—something—”

  “Can you walk back to the road?” He says, looking at me.

  “I’m going—have to—aren’t I?” I say, breathing heavily, but I’m not at all certain about that.

  How long have we been walking? An hour?

  A contraction hits me suddenly, the pain rocketing through my stomach as I bend over. At least out here, I’m not shy about yelling about it.

  “Chloe—Chloe!”

  I gasp as I work through it, my legs shaking.

  “Is there…a nearer road?” I ask, breathless.

  Ash already has his phone out - and then he curses.

  “Fuck. Fuck, Chloe, there’s no signal. There’s nothing out here. We’re…” He trails off, and for a long moment we just look at each other.

  Then another contraction takes me and he valiantly tries to hold me up as I sag against the tree behind me. The bark is rough and unpleasant and not at all what I want.

  “Isn’t that…a bit fast?” I ask, my voice trembling slightly. “Shouldn’t they be…more spaced out?”

  “I—I don’t know.” He checks his phone again, but it’s obviously useless.

  “Ash.” I cry. “What are we going to do?!”

  And just like that - he takes control of the situation. He takes my shoulder and gently encourages me to walk forward.

  “Okay, okay Chloe, I guess we’re doing this—”

  “Out here?!” I look at him in disbelief.

  “There’s a clearing up there - grass - it’s soft, you can lie down. C’mon.”

  “I can’t—I can’t have my baby—out here—”

  “It’s a beautiful setting.” He murmurs, as he slowly lowers me to the ground.

  I get another wave of pain - another spasm where I’m yelling and clenching everything I have in me - and then somehow I’m lying on the ground on my back, Ash beside me.

  “It’s going to be okay. We’re going to do this—and you look so beautiful, Chloe—perfect.” He says, reaching to pull my panties down my legs.

  I’m grateful I wore a dress, even though the ground is sun-warmed and actually feels nice against my back, if I think about it.

  There’s a fresh breeze around us, but it is a lovely day. I can just barely see it through the haze of fear and anxiety.

  “Ash…”

  “We’re just going to talk through everything we remember - okay? Breathing, and pushing, and everything that needs to happen—I think you should be a little more propped up…”

  He helps me onto my elbows, and whatever I was going to say in reply is cut off my another wave of pain. Lying like this, with him settling behind me and supporting my chest, it’s just instinctive to spread my legs open wide and start pushing—

  “I—oh god—oh Ash—I think—I think the baby’s coming.”

 
He laughs, a slight edge of hysteria to it, but he takes my hand and squeezes it hard.

  “I think so too, Chloe, and it’s going to be the best fucking thing we’ve ever done.”

  I tilt my head back a little to look at him, sweating and panting a little now.

  “Here? Like this?”

  He kisses the top of my head, nuzzling the side of my face.

  “You did say you wanted a natural birth…” He murmurs, and I can’t help it too, I laugh as well, even there’s far more than an edge of hysteria to mine.

  “Yeah - at home - with—”

  The contraction hits again and this time I scream - the sound echoing around us and disturbing a whole load of birds. I barely see them launch themselves into the air, my vision blurry as I push and push and push…and then stop, panting again.

  “Is it…is it working?” I ask, my breath ragged.

  “I think it’s pretty early for it to be working—”

  “Early?! I can’t do this for…for—aaahhh!”

  “Okay, okay, you’re doing great, just keep breathing, you’re going to be okay, Chloe, we’re going to do this.” He wipes a strand of hair back from my sweaty face as the contraction subsides again. “You’re right—they’re coming so fast now—the baby has to be coming.”

  His face is totally terrified, but there’s an exhilaration there too, an excitement that can only be the thrill of seeing his baby for the first time. I’ve got the same thrill inside me - the same excitement - but it’s subdued slightly by the worry about whether I’m doing this right—whether it’s all going to be okay.

  “What were you saying…about doing this at home?” He murmurs again, stroking my face, and I know he’s just trying to distract me - but right now, I cling to that.

  “That…I wanted hot towels…and warm water…and…and people-that-know-what-they’re-doing!”

  The last part comes out in a rush as another contraction hits and he squeezes my hand, helping me through it.