You Know I Need You: Book 2, You Know Me duet (You Are Mine Duets 4)

by Willow Winters

  Evan and I are separated; I remind myself again. With all the crap Evan’s done and put me through, it’s over. It has to be.

  So this, this little distraction … I refuse to stop it when it makes me feel something other than the turmoil that has been plaguing me.

  My hands wrap around the mug and they warm instantly as I take a good long look around the place. The brick walls and picture frames make it cozy and inviting. With the dark wooden tables and wicker furniture, I could see how a writer could make themselves comfy in a corner chair. Using both hands to lift the mug, I take a small sip and then another, much longer one, feeling the warmth flow through my cold chest. And then a third. Even though I feel less consumed with regret about the fight between Jacob and Evan, a different feeling is washing over me.

  “So, what do you think?”

  I have to blink away my thoughts and try to figure out what he’s referring to before a bright blush rushes to my cheeks.

  “The chai,” he adds comically and nods at my hands.

  “It’s good,” I say with a half-hearted smile and then see the bruise again. “I just …” Why can’t I stop apologizing and let it go?

  A half-hearted smile graces his lips and it’s quiet for a short moment. “Kat, I don’t really like your ex.”

  Ex.

  My heart hammers and my blood feels as if it’s draining from my body, leaving me cold. “I can see why,” I respond easily enough, although I can’t look him in the eyes.

  “Hey, I didn’t mean to upset you.” His tone changes to sympathetic and I hate this moment. I hate feeling weak and not knowing what to do or say.

  “Please don’t worry about me, Jacob.” My voice is as strong as I can make it.

  “First of all,” he says with a gorgeous smile, “it’s Jake.” I can’t help the small laugh that slips out at how serious he is. “And second, I’m not worrying, just being there for someone. That’s all.”

  All my misgivings about him leave me as I look into his kind dark green, hazel eyes. He’s the rugged kind of handsome I would have been drawn to back when I was single. I’m honest enough to admit I’m drawn to him now.

  He’s a good guy, and I can feel that in my bones.

  “That’s very nice of you, but I think …” I start to say and pause as I try to figure out how to word what I’m thinking without sounding pathetic. I’m still in love with my ex, pregnant with his child, confused and feeling alone. Even if he’s in jail and we’re separated, I can’t stop worrying about him. Instead, all I can manage is a mix between a groan and a sigh. I conclude with a simply stated, “I’m just a mess over it all.”

  “Hey, let’s just end it there?” he suggests. “I don’t have many friends here and I put my nose where it didn’t belong. I’m the one who’s sorry.”

  “You’re not in the wrong here.”

  “I’m not in the right either, am I?”

  “What do you mean?” I ask him like I’m oblivious. I know exactly what he means.

  “I—” he starts to say but then stops himself and lets out a short laugh before rubbing his eyes. “Sorry, I’ve been up all night working on this manuscript.”

  I see the opening to steer the conversation back to work and take it. To keep this relationship just business. “I could bury myself in manuscripts right now.”

  Jacob lets out a charming laugh and I find myself slipping into the one role I know I’m good at. “Have you thought about who you’d like to be your agent and represent you?” I almost roll my eyes at the question.

  “You’re shameless,” he says with a wicked grin.

  “I know,” I answer him and smile into my cup. The smile is oddly genuine given my state just a moment ago, but Jacob has a way of making me feel calm and relaxed.

  “I’m not ready to talk to any publishers. I still don’t know what I want to do with this one yet.”

  “Want to tell me about it?”

  “Well, it’s about me. Sort of.” He leans back and spreads his legs wider, my eyes drawn to his broad chest as he glances out the picture window at the front of the shop. “My ex, really.” He runs his hand through his hair.

  I nod my head and reply, “So, it’s an emotional book for you. Maybe one to feed your soul, more than your family.”

  “I have no family to feed, so that’d be an easy one,” he jokes. “But yeah. It’s more just for me, I think.”

  “What’s the plot about, if you don’t mind me asking?” I pry gently as I pick up a sugar packet from the table. I have no intention of adding it to my drink, but I think best when I have something to fidget with. Again, I cling to the chance to talk about work. I’m more than grateful for this distraction. I’d rather talk books all day long than anything else.

  “We were high school sweethearts who beat the odds, but we just didn’t get that happily ever after, you know?”

  I feel a sharp pain in my heart, one that knocks the wind out of me. Another romance story gone south. “Why didn’t it work out?”

  “She’d been cheating on me for a while. I found out when she got pregnant and the dates didn’t add up.”

  “That’ll do it,” I say as my mind wanders back to Evan. To his infidelity before we were married but still together. And to my little secret.

  “Turns out it was my best friend.”

  “Oh no.” A pout pulls down my smile and I feel gutted for him. “Double betrayal.”

  “That’d make a good title,” he replies and then chews on his lower lip.

  A feeling of shame settles on my shoulders. Evan and I are over, and I shouldn’t feel like this is wrong. But for the first time in years, I feel something for someone else.

  There’s no way I can justify this feeling right now. Not when I haven’t had time to get over Evan. Not when the thought of getting over him cripples me. What’s Sue always telling Maddie, though? The best way to get over one man is to get under another. Sitting here right now, I understand the sentiment.

  “You think I could sell it?” Jacob asks and holds my gaze as he lifts his cup.

  “I’d have to read it first,” I answer honestly, even though I know a happily ever after sells better. That doesn’t mean there can’t be another romance thread added in somewhere. It’s not like his story is over. His eyes catch mine and it’s as if he knows exactly what I was just thinking … about another romance thread.

  “I’m still in the process of writing it. I think the story is going well, though,” he says and every inch of my skin catches on fire. It’s the way he looks at me. How his stare holds me captive and the tone of his lowered voice makes my blood race. The air crackles between us and with that, I need to get out of here. Quickly, before this conversation turns into something else.

  “Send me the first few chapters?” I ask him and then reach for my purse. “Sorry, but I have to get going. I didn’t think our meeting would last this long.”

  He half smiles at me as he says, “Okay then.” He says it like he knows I’m lying, but more than that, like it amuses him.

  I take out my wallet, but Jacob stops me. “Don’t even think about paying.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “You can get the next one if you really want to, but this one is on me.”

  I give him a tight smile, although I’m grateful. Truly I am. Even if his intentions are less than pure.

  I can only nod then make my way out. It’s all too much. Separation, pregnancy. Now Evan’s in jail. I can’t take how quickly my life is unraveling.

  “Hey, Kat,” Jake says from behind me as I push the door open and the bells ring. I turn to look back at him.

  “It’s going to be okay,” he reassures me and I say thanks, although it’s so softly spoken I don’t think he could have possibly heard it.

  I have to leave. That’s the only thing on my mind because I’m so broken that the words it’s going to be okay are my undoing.

  Chapter 4

  Evan

  The worst sound in the world to me
is the muffled sobs of my wife crying.

  And the worst sight I could ever imagine is her bundled in a ball on the kitchen floor, whimpering against the cabinets. Her shoulders heave as she lets out another wretched sob and it makes me feel that much worse.

  I didn’t know it could get any lower than this.

  “Kat.” Her name is a gentle murmur from my lips, nearly a plea for her to stop. She’s crying so hard, lost in the sadness, that she didn’t hear me come in. My voice startles her and she jumps back slightly, causing the cabinet door to rattle.

  Her lips part slightly, but she doesn’t say anything. Instead it appears she’s holding her breath.

  “What’s wrong?” I ask and the second the question is uttered, I hate myself. It’s obviously me. I did this. “What can I—”

  “Nothing,” she answers curtly, cutting me off, more embarrassment and shame present in her tone than the anger I’d anticipated. “I’m fine.” She uses the sleeve of her shirt to wipe at her face, leaving her tearstained cheeks bright pink.

  “You aren’t fine.”

  “I’ll be fine,” she says, and her tone is harsher this time. “I don’t want to cry in front of you,” she adds with sincerity. I know the comment isn’t intended to hurt me as I walk deeper into the kitchen. Kat’s just being honest.

  “That’s what I’m here for,” I tell her and then feel like an asshole. I haven’t been here in days. I can see Kat’s lips part with some sarcastic response, so I’m quick with my next words. “I know we’re going through some shit and I’m not making things any better. But I’m here now.”

  She doesn’t respond as she pushes her hair out of her face and visibly focuses on calming herself down. Glancing up at me only causes her expression to crumple as if she’ll start crying again. She rips away her gaze and silence separates us.

  I can’t help but notice the curve of her shoulders and the way her breasts move as she steadies her breathing. My body is ringing with the need to touch her. The need to make her pain go away. “Whatever it is,” I say, “it’s going to be okay.” I don’t know how many nights I’ve told her that.

  And it’s always been true. “We’ll get through this.”

  “I’m crying because of you!” she screams at me and angrily brushes away her tears.

  “I’m sorry, but I promise, it’s not what you think.”

  She only huffs in disbelief and shakes her head, refusing to look at me. My blood turns cold and I struggle to breathe, but still I walk toward her. Every step is careful and cautious. I just want to hold her. I want to fix this more than anything.

  I can’t lose her.

  “Kat.” I say her name as if it’s my only prayer, but she doesn’t look at me.

  As I crouch down next to her, Kat stands just to get away from me and it kills me. She wipes under her eyes then turns from me, giving me nothing but her back. The cup that was on the counter clinks as she places it in the sink.

  Her shoulders shudder.

  All I can hear is her heavy breathing as she ignores me. Moments pass, my hands clammy and my body hot. I don’t know what to say or do, but I stay. I won’t leave. I can do that at the very least. So I stand there, waiting and wanting her to tell me anything. I will wait forever for her if that’s what she needs.

  “They broke in through the window,” she states with a shaky voice, followed by a deep inhale, and my blood freezes.

  “Who?”

  She shrugs her shoulders, turning to look at me with an expression of disbelief and answering sarcastically, “How the fuck should I know?”

  “Where?” I follow behind her as she walks into the guest bathroom in the hallway. The second the door opens, I’m hit by the arctic air coming in through the broken window. It’s only a half bath and inside the sink are shards of glass.

  “They didn’t take anything that I can tell.”

  “What the fuck,” I mutter beneath my breath, my hands clenching into fists at my sides. “Were you home?” I should have been here. I should have been protecting her.

  She shakes her head no, her hair sweeping along her shoulders as she crosses her arms to protect her from the chill. “I called the cops as soon as I got in. I knew something was off. They went through your drawers, by the way. You may want to check and see if you had anything in there.”

  Fuck. My heart hammers as I stand there numb.

  I don’t know who it was or what they were looking for. But if she’d been here … Fear is crippling. It’s the resolute tone of her next statement that forces me to move. “Are you going to fix that or should I call someone?” Her voice is flat and completely lacking in any emotion.

  “I’ll take care of it, but Kat, please,” I beg her, forcing my legs to follow her back to the kitchen.

  “I don’t want to talk about it,” she says without even looking at me.

  “Kat, I need to know—”

  “If you want to talk, then tell me how jail was. How about that?” she spits back.

  “Kat, baby, please—”

  “Don’t ‘please’ me, don’t touch me, don’t anything me,” she practically hisses, glaring over her shoulders as she opens a cabinet to get a clean glass then slams the door shut. Her eyes are rimmed in red, and she looks paler than usual.

  She fills the glass with water and drinks down half of it with her back to me.

  I want to reach out and hold her, but I’ve never seen her like this. Closed off and nothing but worn out and angry.

  “Kat, I can explain.”

  “Oh, thank goodness. I was worried for a minute.” Her voice drips with sarcasm, her back still to me as she turns the tap on and refills the glass.

  “Please, if you don’t mind, you could start with … I don’t know,” she says then shrugs and turns to face me, the bitterness in her voice never more apparent than now. “How about why I should give a damn about whatever excuse you have?”

  My brow furrows as I take in her stance. She slams the glass down so hard I think it may shatter but it doesn’t. With her arms crossed again, she waits. Her hair falls in front of her face, hiding part of her tired eyes and she doesn’t bother to sweep it away.

  “I don’t want you to be mad …”

  She reaches behind her to grip the counter, her knuckles turning white, agitation showing in every movement she has. I know right then I can’t tell her what I think about James. I can’t tell her that I think someone was trying to kill me or that I’m bringing more trouble to her.

  I have to be the man she wants me to be.

  I can do that. Just one last lie, once more. To protect her.

  I swear it’ll be the last. And only so I can hold on to her and keep her safe.

  “Kat, I don’t know a thing about the coke overdose or James or whatever the hell anyone’s told you.”

  “You said you needed an alibi,” Kat states evenly. She blows a few strands of hair away from her face and then folds her arms over her chest once again.

  My stomach sinks as I give her just a little bit of the truth. Just enough that she’ll stop questioning me. “This is why. I knew Tony was dead, but I wasn’t involved.” Lie. I can barely stand on my own two feet knowing I just lied to her.

  “Why an alibi?”

  “To save the company’s image. We couldn’t be associated with it any more than we already were.” It’s only a thinly veiled lie. What I’ve said is mostly true.

  Kat nods her head, putting a finger to her lips and letting the words sink in as she stares at the floor.

  “So, you gave him the coke?” she asks before lifting her head and her eyes flash to mine.

  “No,” I tell her and my voice is hard. Lie. Another lie. I’m digging my own grave deeper. I add in a truth, hoping it sounds believable enough to cover the lies. “I told you I don’t do that shit.”

  “They’re going to test you,” Kat says like she doesn’t believe me.

  “I’ll have them show you the results if and when they do,” I say, and my words come
out bitter.

  She turns her back to me again as she fills the glass with more water. I stalk closer to her, careful not to piss her off.

  “I mean it. I promise you. It was just a job and I barely drank, Kat. I quit for a reason. It didn’t use to be like this and it’s gotten to me.”

  She doesn’t look at me as I come closer, close enough to touch her, but I don’t.

  “I did drink with clients, but that’s it. I swear to you. I wouldn’t touch that shit or anything like it.”

  She sets the clear glass down and then looks at me as she says, “Tony did.” She walks past me, brushing her shoulder against mine.

  “I quit for a reason,” I tell her again and my tone begs her to listen. To forgive me. “I didn’t do anything, and if anyone in the world would believe me, it would be you.” My voice croaks on the last word and I have to swallow my plea.

  “I believe you,” Kat replies instantly, hating that she’s causing me pain. This is why she’s too good for me, but I’ll be damned if I’m not going to do everything I can to keep her.

  “No secrets?” she asks and there’s a change in her expression.

  I shake my head no, although I feel like a fucking coward. “No secrets.”

  “I have one,” she whispers softly.

  “What’s that?” I ask her, sensing the air changing between us, darkening and chilling.

  “I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow,” she tells me and her eyes flicker to me, right before darting to the floor. She can’t look at me and that makes me more nervous than anything else.

  “The doctor’s? Are you all right?” I ask her, my voice low, the memories of my mother filtering in. I take one step toward her and wait for her to move back, but she doesn’t.

  She shrugs and stares at the countertop.

  “What’s going on, Kat?” I ask her, listening to my heart beat hard then harder still as she makes me wait.

  Her forehead scrunches the way it does just before she cries and I chance another step closer to her. I can feel the heat from her body as she sniffles and looks away from me.