You Know I Need You: Book 2, You Know Me duet (You Are Mine Duets 4)

by Willow Winters

  I’m pregnant with his child and he’s cheating on me.

  Why would you think that? she texts back as I type my response.

  I just saw her.

  Saw who? she asks.

  Samantha.

  And they were kissing??? That bastard!!

  I bite the inside of my cheek and hate that I can’t say yes. They weren’t kissing. I told him to stay away from her and she’s inside his house, though. Isn’t that enough?

  I didn’t see them kiss. She’s in his house.

  What were they doing? she asks, and I find my anger turning on her.

  I don’t know!

  What were you doing, spying??

  OMG Jules! YES, of course, I was! I stand there numb, reading the text messages and feeling like I truly am crazy.

  What did he say?

  About them? I didn’t go in, I text her. I’m left with silence for a moment with no response back. The wind seems to pick up and my ears burn from the cold. Or maybe from people talking about me.

  I’m going to get proof. I text Jules and spin around on my heels, shoving the phone into my coat pocket and ignoring the dings of her return messages.

  I’ll confront that bastard and make him pay for the hell he’s put me through. All the while I work myself up. Each step back to his house is taken with stronger and stronger resolution.

  Until I get there and his car is gone, and just like my gut told me the second I saw the empty spot in front of his house, the door is locked.

  “Motherfucker,” I scream out as I bang my fists against the door. The chill in the air makes each impact hurt more and more.

  I start to text him even though my hands are aching from the freezing cold. One line saying, I know. And then I backspace until it’s erased. That’s not good enough, it’s too mysterious. I text him a paragraph about what I saw, but I delete that too, knowing he’ll just deny it.

  Outside of his parents’ house, outside of the house where I fell in love with him, the light dims from the sinking sun and the sudden sheets of gray signal more snow is coming.

  Defeated, I slip my phone in my pocket, realizing only now that I’ve been trembling.

  I’m not going to text him or confront him. Nothing. I’ll figure out the truth and make sure I have evidence, but I’m giving Evan exactly what he gave me … nothing.

  Diary Entry Four

  Mom,

  I’m worried about the things that I think sometimes.

  I’m worried about how angry I get. Did you get like that ever?

  I don’t know if you would have. I did it to myself by marrying Evan.

  I’m filled with anger more than anything anymore. I don’t want to be like this, but it’s what he’s done to me. Maybe that’s an excuse. That’s probably what you’d tell me, isn’t it? I’m responsible for my own actions and no one else’s.

  I’ve never been this angry, and I’m afraid of what I’m going to do.

  Chapter 18

  Evan

  I haven’t been this nervous since Kat and I went out on our first date.

  It was an easy date, a place I knew well. My club. I didn’t own it; I never got into commercial real estate, although I have thought about it. It was still my club, though. At least that’s how I felt. I should’ve felt in control and powerful to meet her in front of the doors, the music drifting out into the street, but one look at her stepping out of her car had my heart pumping faster and the back of my neck sweating.

  Kat’s always been able to stun me like that.

  As if I don’t already know she’s beautiful.

  It’s something else, though, that’s got me this nervous.

  It’s the sense that I can’t hold on to her no matter what I do. That’s the feeling I had flowing through my veins that night, and that’s the feeling flowing through me now as I get ready to step up to the doors of Mason’s house in the Berkshires.

  I check my phone again to see if I have any more texts from him, but I don’t. The last one said she was packing her stuff and planning on moving back to the townhouse.

  I rap my knuckles on the hard oak doors, the cold air making it hurt just a bit. My body urges me to do it harder, to embrace the pain and focus on that and not the anxiety of rejection.

  I would deserve it, after all.

  The door opens in one tug, and the glow from the foyer chandelier carries to the porch. There she is. Holding the door open with her lips parted in shock.

  “Evan.” She says my name as she stands perfectly still.

  A faint dusting of snow settles around me as I take her in. From the white socks on her feet, to the silk pajamas that must be a gift from Jules, because I’ve never seen them before in my life.

  “Hey,” I greet her and then swallow the lump in my throat. “I heard you were here.”

  Her expression hardens instantly as she seems to get over my surprise arrival.

  “What do you want?” she asks me, although it sounds like an interrogation. Before I can answer, she takes a half step forward to come outside rather than letting me in, like a fucking lunatic.

  “What are you doing?” I ask her with complete disbelief as she tries to shut the door.

  “I’m not having this conversation in Jules’s house,” Kat says as if it’s an admonishment, like I’m the one who’s lost their mind.

  “Baby, get inside, it’s freezing out!”

  “Don’t tell me what to do!” she yells back at me, and her words strike me across the face. I take it, though. I take one step back and watch as she crosses her arms over her chest and her cheeks quickly turn pink from the wind that won’t let up, followed by the tip of her nose. “What do you want?”

  “Are you sure you don’t want to go inside?” I question her as calmly as I can, attempting to be reasonable.

  “I went to your house today,” she states. The blood drains from my face.

  “Is that right?” I somehow manage to reply, knowing what’s coming, my body tensing up. All I can hear is my heart pounding as I feel her slipping away from me.

  “I don’t want anything to do with you, Evan.” The cutting words are spoken with a cracked voice. At least there’s emotion left. If there’s that, then I still have a chance.

  “I don’t know what you think you saw, but …” I start to tell her and then flinch from her shriek.

  “Think?” she yells. “I saw her!” She moves in closer, getting in my face to scream at me. “Samantha. You left me to be with her,” she says and seethes, the accusation coming out hard.

  “Did you see me touch her?” I ask her, taking a step closer to her. “I know you didn’t, because I never would. I’m not seeing her. I didn’t even want her there.”

  “She was with you,” she says the words then breathes out with nothing but pain and agony.

  “Yeah, she was. A few times in the last week,” I confess. I don’t want her to find out any other way. “I’m trying to fix things and she’s—”

  “I want you to go,” she says, cutting me off.

  “I won’t until you tell me you believe me.” I look her in the eyes, silently begging her, and wait for it.

  “I told you not to. Just go!”

  “Never. I would never stray from you.” As I say the words, it’s crippling. Because I know she did what she’s accusing me of. She’s the one who’s seeing someone else, but I gave her the space to do it. I left her side.

  It’s all fucked.

  She doesn’t answer me, merely shivers in the cold as her bottom lip starts to turn a purplish blue.

  “Let’s go inside,” I urge her, but she doesn’t respond. “I want to talk.”

  “I thought the funeral might be a good time to talk,” she finally says with tears in her eyes. “Guess you didn’t?

  Her words slice through me, down to my core. “It meant a lot to me that you were there,” I manage to say, but I can’t look her in the eyes. The tips of my fingers turn numb and the feeling flows through every inch of my body. />
  “Didn’t seem like it,” she replies, although she’s lost a bit of strength in her voice.

  “I’m having a difficult time handling it,” I tell her, scrambling for an excuse, but there’s so much truth in those words.

  James was there at the funeral. He even shook my hand, the fucking bastard. The reason is right there on the tip of my tongue. I wanted to go to her, to hold her. To go home with her and get lost in her love. More than anything.

  “You think it was easy for me?” she asks me after a moment of silence.

  “You think it was easy for me?” I shoot right back and the memories of the grave, the service hit me. I have to pinch the bridge of my nose and close my eyes as I see the visions of the nightmares mixing with the memories. I shouldn’t even be here. Regret flows through my veins. What am I doing?

  “I’m sorry,” she whispers, and her breath turns to fog. The wind blows, and her hair falls in front of her face as I tell her, “I’m sorry too.” I get a little choked up, but I manage to tell her, “He loved you so much.”

  He really did. His voice telling me to make it right keeps playing in my head and it kills my strength.

  “I told you I just needed time.” I try to make the words come out strong, but instead, it’s a plea. I don’t know what to do anymore.

  All I want to do is protect her. Maybe that means losing her forever.

  She shakes her head. “What part of us moving on with our lives didn’t you understand? I don’t have time for games or whatever trouble you’ve gotten into.”

  “I’m fixing the trouble.” I refuse to give up. “I just need more time.”

  “And how much longer is that going to be? How much longer do I have to sit on the back burner and wait for you to love me again?”

  “I still love you,” I say.

  “You don’t act like it.”

  “There’s a reason for everything, I promise.” I have to blink away the scenes of the funeral, of the night terrors.

  “I don’t want to hear your excuses anymore,” she says and wipes under her eyes. Her voice is drenched with defeat. “You’re supposed to be here for me.”

  I question everything in that moment. I’m so afraid of losing her, but the image of her dead on the ground makes me harden my resolve. I hesitate and immediately regret it.

  “I need you to go, Evan. For good.”

  “It’s because of Jacob, isn’t it?” I can’t help but blurt it out. I want someone else to blame. Someone else to hate other than me. “You’re moving on with him?”

  I can’t help but point out that she’s the one who wants someone else. I only want her. I won’t lose her. I’ll fuck her so good when all this is over, she’ll forget any other man exists.

  “You think I need a man? You think I need someone?” Her voice is coated with an anger I haven’t seen from her before. “I never needed anyone! You’re the only one I ever let in. You were the only one I let get close and I’ll be fine, living the rest of my life alone.”

  “You want him more than me?” My jealousy gets the best of me.

  “Get away from me!” she spits out as she opens the door to head into the house.

  “I’m coming back for you,” I tell her, and I mean it.

  “Well I won’t be here, and I’m changing the locks on the townhouse. So good fucking luck with that.”

  Chapter 19

  Kat

  It’s a heavy, sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach. It rocks back and forth, making you queasy and your body can’t sit still. That’s what it feels like when you know you’re about to hurt someone.

  At least that’s how it feels right now.

  I don’t need anyone at all and I don’t want anyone either. Maybe I’m proving it to myself, or maybe to Evan. I don’t care which.

  My pulse quickens, and I try to swallow the spiked ball in my throat when I hear the bell at the front of the café.

  Jacob smiles sweetly with genuine happiness as he strolls over to the table, letting his jacket slip off his shoulders. I’m going to miss that charming grin he has. I’ll miss the comfort his presence brings more.

  “One more nice day before winter comes in,” he says easily. It’s felt like winter for weeks now to me, but he’s from farther up north, so I suppose it hasn’t been as brutal to him as it’s seemed to me.

  “One more nice day,” I repeat, nodding my head at the ceramic mug on the table. I have to force the smile to stay on my face, but it doesn’t fool Jacob.

  “What’s wrong?” he asks me, not touching the mug of chai already waiting for him.

  I hate that I get choked up. It’s stupid really. Childish and I’m far too grown for little kid games.

  It was just friends, then just a kiss.

  But it never should have been anything.

  “Nothing,” I answer and shake my head slightly then pick up the mug. Jake’s face falls, but he still tries to cheer me up.

  “So, I never got your answer about the movies tomorrow night.” He’s quick to change the topic, gracing me with that ever-present kind smile. “I heard it’s going to be good.”

  My mug clinks on the small saucer as he adds, “I love coffee shops and all, but it’d be nice to do something more.”

  More.

  It would be. I can see it. I can feel it. If my heart didn’t belong to someone else, I could see Jacob being so much more. Well, not only that. I’m going to be a mother. My priorities have nothing to do with dating or starting anything new that doesn’t involve the little life I’m carrying.

  “I have to tell you something.” I get the words out before I change my mind and swallow them. Before I give in to getting over Evan by getting under another man.

  Jacob visibly winces then scratches the side of his neck as he looks to the right. “That doesn’t sound so good.”

  “I kind of lied to you,” I confess, feeling a viselike grip on my heart.

  “You’re not separated?” he says.

  “No, we are. But I don’t want to be.”

  “You still love him. I know you do.”

  “There’s more,” I continue, not daring to look him in the eyes, and hesitate.

  “Just tell me,” he urges me as if this is going to be easy, moving his hand to mine, and I stare down at where his skin touches mine. It’s gentle, kind. It’s the comfort I desperately need. But I can’t be expected to always have someone to lean on. More than that, I want to stand on my own.

  “I’m pregnant,” I tell him and the only reaction I get is that his brow raises just slightly. It’s comical really, and the small movement forces the corners of my lips up. I’d laugh if my heart didn’t hurt as much as it does.

  “That, I didn’t see coming,” he responds, keeping a small bit of humor in his voice. Slowly, he pulls his hand away but keeps it on the tabletop. I notice the absence of his touch instantly, though.

  “Not far along?” I shake my head no at his question, feeling the end of my ponytail swish around my shoulders. “How long have you known?”

  “A while,” I answer honestly.

  “So that’s the lie?”

  “Yeah … I’m sorry. I never should have kept that from you.”

  “Don’t be,” he tells me and waves it off, as if it’s no big deal.

  “I knew better. It was just …” I trail off and swallow my words, staring at a stain on the table. One that will never go away.

  “It was nice being okay with someone. Right?”

  I chance a peek up into his eyes. There’s nothing but understanding there. “Yeah,” I answer him and chew on my bottom lip. “I wanted to pretend to be okay for a little bit.”

  “Well it’s not pretend,” he continues and adjusts in his seat. “You can be okay if you want to.” It’s hard to hold his gaze as he brings his hand back to mine.

  “Does he know?” I answer his question with a nod, my throat too tight to speak.

  “And he …?” he starts to ask, but doesn’t finish the obvious q
uestion.

  “Says he’s happy but he’s still not with me. He’s not committing and carrying on like he was. I want him, but I need him with me and he’s not …” I’m ashamed of the answer.

  It’s quiet for a short moment. The ceramic mug in my hand slides against the wooden table and it’s the only noise to be heard. The itch in my throat matches the prick behind my eyes. I’ve cried enough over all this. It’s been weeks and this is simply how it is. With a sip of my peppermint tea, I accept it.

  “So, do you want to go to the movies?” Jacob asks then picks up his mug. “I’d still like to go if you would.”

  My heart does this little flutter, a quick flicker of warmth that lets me know it’s still there. It’s gratitude and I think that’s all I could give anyone else. It’s all I’m willing to do.

  I shake my head, once again, and give him a sad smile.

  “I had to ask. I think it would’ve been good,” he tells me, forcing a smile then covering his disappointment by taking a large sip of the chai.

  “You going to be okay?”

  I shrug, honestly unsure of whether I’ll ever be okay. “Some people are meant to be alone.” Or waiting for a love that may never come back.

  “You sound like me,” he comments with a huff of humor that doesn’t reach his eyes and then he takes a deep, heavy breath. “Gets tiresome, though.”

  “A story for another time perhaps?”

  “I think it’s the same story mostly, with only one big difference.”

  “What’s that?”

  “I think Evan may love you back, just like you love him. Whether or not he deserves it … well, that’s a matter of opinion, I guess.” I can’t respond and instead, I let my gaze wander back to the stain on the table. “It wasn’t the same for me. It was very much one sided.”

  “I’m so sorry, Jake.” It’s all I can respond and I genuinely am.

  “Don’t be,” he says easily. “Fate puts people in our life for a reason.” He takes a steadying breath before saying, “And now I know it’s possible.”