The Trouble with Cupid

by Carolyn Haines

  Pete tapped his dessert fork against a crystal water glass. “I’m glad everyone could join me at the farm on short notice. Holloway Catering provided an excellent kick-off to our corporate retreat. Thank you, River.”

  Polite applause ensued. I nodded, sipped coffee, and wondered where this was going.

  “I asked River for an outsider’s perspective of our discussion. I’ll get right to the point. Once the cartel takeover threat to North Merrick was neutralized, a new problem came to light.”

  Cartel takeover? My blood iced. Pete had said nothing of a takeover or drug lords, just that he needed to address the company’s problems. Drug cartels played for keeps. He was lucky he survived. Why didn’t he tell me what he was up against?

  “Someone in the company wants North Merrick to fail,” Pete continued. “Further, someone at this table leaked proprietary information to our competition, embezzled money from the company, and sabotaged several clients’ customized security software. Until I know different, every employee at this table is guilty.”

  The outcry deafened me. It took everything I had not to cover my ears. Trouble leapt from his post by my chair to the nearby window, crouched low, and stared outside. What did he see in the dusky twilight?

  Ann Marie’s shrill voice rose above the others. “How dare you accuse me of criminal activity? I’m a shareholder. Why would I sabotage our bottom line?”

  Frank smacked his palm on the table, causing forks to clatter on the empty china plates. The uproar ceased, and all eyes rested on the gangly young man as he stood. “My record speaks for itself. I refuse to sit here and be accused of criminal activity.”

  “Leave this room and you’re fired,” Pete said. “Sit down, Frank. Nobody leaves until I know who is sabotaging North Merrick.”

  Beads of sweat ran down Frank’s angular cheeks. “You can’t hold me against my will. That’s illegal.”

  “The door isn’t locked, just closed. The choice to stay is yours.”

  Suddenly, a light dawned in my head. The gathering of suspects, the espionage, and embezzlement were a page straight from Masterpiece Theater. I loved solving locked room mysteries. I glanced at my ex through my lashes. Had he done this for me?

  Pete seemed entirely focused on his employees, so I couldn’t gauge his reaction to my aha moment. Heat suffused my face. The lummox must care for me to have gone to such measures. I licked my lips in anticipation.

  * * *

  Danger swirls in this room and I don’t like it. These people reek of lies, even Frank. I flat out don’t trust Ann Marie or Kurt. There is something about Ann Marie’s purse that concerns me. I try to open it, but the catch holds when I knock it around a bit. Opal wears a false face, but she doesn’t radiate danger the way the others do. Pete seems calm but he is like a caged tiger ready to pounce. Will he protect or harm River? I have to keep a close eye on these people. Good thing I’m a hotshot detective. If danger is on the menu, I’ll counter with a cunning plan.

  * * *

  Frank lifted his palms in the air as he paced the room. “Someone made a mistake, and historically the newest employee takes the rap. I’m innocent. Let’s turn the other cheek and be bigger men and women. Whoever did this should promise not to do it again.”

  “Corporate America doesn’t rely on the honor system,” Pete said. “I want to hear everyone’s response to these accusations.”

  “Obviously, I didn’t do it,” Opal began, her gaze connecting with Frank’s before shifting to Pete. “I found discrepancies during a random audit. Do the names Jane Docent and John Buckman sound familiar?” She faced the Asian man beside her.

  “Those are characters in the video game I’m developing,” Kurt said, his ears apple-red. “I’ve mentioned those character names at the office. For the record, my gaming characters aren’t involved in corporate espionage and neither am I.”

  I glanced around the table and overheard Ann Marie, the lady in scarlet, whisper to Kurt, “We’ll see about that.”

  Frank lowered his hands, pushed up his sleeves, and waggled a skinny finger at the woman across the table. “Opal has administrative access to company files. She could manipulate them and we’d never know. Did you set Kurt up?”

  “Just because I bleach my hair white doesn’t mean I’m a dinosaur or that I’m stupid,” Opal said in scathing tones. “I think circles around everybody here on a regular basis. And, no, I didn’t set anyone up.”

  Kurt bowed in her direction. “In Chinese culture, we respect wisdom, but I’m crushed by this accusation. I worked for Dalbert North for ten years, for North Merrick for a year. Why risk my dream job for a fistful of dollars? The risk/benefit analysis doesn’t compute.”

  “You’re lying,” Opal said, her breath coming in awkward gasps. “The transactions I traced to Jane and John total nearly five hundred thousand dollars. Someone systematically fleeced our accounts, and, upon closer inspection, we discovered the theft of our intellectual property. Even worse, ransomware was hiding in our servers. If Mr. Merrick hadn’t taken swift action, the ransomware would’ve locked files throughout the office and subjected the firm to blackmail.”

  “Ridiculous.” Frank paused to dash the sweat from his brow. “We have the best cyber security in the business. That’s what attracts top dollar clients to our doors.”

  Ann Marie flipped her dark tresses over her shoulder and leaned forward, her face aglow with interest. “If word got out that we’d been hacked, who would trust us to monitor their business? As a competitive business model, a strategy of blackmailing security companies is brilliant.”

  “Nearly as brilliant as your lack of redundant systems for the casino contract,” Frank countered, his voice cracking as he spoke. “When I called you on it, you said the omission improved our bottom line. You cut company costs and pocketed the difference.”

  Ann Marie’s turquoise eyes turned stormy. She rose with her matching scarlet clutch purse in hand. “I told you then and I’ll tell you now, I followed standard protocol. Someone rewrote the security code and deleted the safety measures we routinely put in place. It wasn’t me. I don’t write code.”

  “Good defensive lob.” Frank’s gaze drifted between the women. “Deflection to poor Kurt, the only coder in this room.”

  Kurt tugged at his tie and cleared his throat again. “Leave me out of this. I’m not your patsy. And for the last time, I don’t write code for a living. I’m an accountant.”

  “You’re a gamer,” Ann Marie continued coolly as she loomed over the table, her shoulders thrust back. “I’ve seen the techie paradise in your man cave.”

  “Fraternizing is against company policy,” Frank pointed out.

  Hmm. Interpersonal conflict and corporate sabotage. Night-time television had nothing on this compelling drama. Who was the embezzler? My interest in this people puzzle deepened.

  “What I do in my personal life is not your concern.” Ann Marie spoke in frosty tones. “So what if I went home with Kurt?”

  “But, but, we didn’t…I mean, I didn’t…” Kurt managed.

  Ann Marie shot Kurt a withering gaze. “You don’t own me, and neither does Pete Merrick.”

  Pete guffawed. “Stay on point, everyone. Theft of intellectual property, sabotage, and embezzlement are serious charges. Unless each of you wants close inspection into all areas of your life by law enforcement, I need a name. This piracy stops now.”

  Tension coiled around me, and a morbid fascination swelled. This wasn’t my rodeo, but lives would change tonight. Would my peach cobbler be someone’s last meal before prison? Dread and anticipation thrummed in my veins. Who would speak? Would Pete’s employees turn on each other?

  * * *

  These bipeds lie with every breath they take. The danger in caging wild animals stems from the innate drive for autonomy, power, and freedom. Opal, Kurt, Ann Marie, and Frank bare their teeth and show their claws as they jostle for position.

  Mutiny, clear and simple.

  If their selfis
h posturing puts River in harm’s way, they’ll find themselves in a heap of Trouble.

  * * *

  Trouble stared at me from the windowsill where he crouched. Surely, he wanted to escape this corporate soap opera unfolding as much as I did. And yet, my curiosity demanded to know who had the audacity to steal from Pete Merrick. Judging from the blazing heat in his eyes, he was well and truly pissed. I’d never seen him this angry before.

  In my experience, Pete was kind and loyal. It was only when he moved away that he transferred his loyalty from me to the company. Though I hadn’t figured out his current intentions where we were concerned, I listened and waited.

  “Seats, everyone,” Pete said, and a shuffling of people and chairs ensued until everyone sat again. “I’m offering a deal. Confess right now and I put in a good word with the cops. We can keep this problem in-house.”

  Opal and Ann Marie stared at the trio of flickering candles on the table. Frank and Kurt shifted uneasily in their chairs. How did Pete interpret everyone’s noncompliance? All four seemed guilty to me.

  With his new company, Pete had hoped for a cushy job with surfing time, but instead he’d taken on a drug cartel and a den of thieves. Silence intensified in the room. Who would crack first? Would they blame each other?

  “I’m first in most mornings.” Kurt’s deep voice filled the room. “At least twice, Opal and Frank pulled all-nighters in the secure room. I checked the entry logs when I saw them in there.”

  “We were catching up projects behind schedule,” Frank said evenly. “We kept the company in the black by keeping our deliverables on time.”

  “Excelsior and Heinz, right?” Pete asked.

  “Yes.” Opal’s face paled. She chewed on her fingernails before she noticed she was doing it. “Those premier clients were at risk. We kept the timeline on track, and the clients were satisfied with our product. I love this job, and I’d never hurt North Merrick.”

  “Who let the ball drop with those clients?” Pete asked.

  Uh-oh. I knew that deceptively soft tone. These men and women would be lucky if any of their jobs survived. Someone better confess.

  Opal shook her head and looked down again.

  “I’m not afraid of you, Kurt,” Frank leaned forward and accidentally upset his full coffee cup. “Just because you think you’re better than us is no reason to be a jerk. You didn’t get the nod for CEO. Get over it.”

  I rushed to the sideboard for linens and mopped up the mess.

  “Is that right?” Pete said after I sat down, his focus alternating between the two men.

  Kurt smacked his hand with a fist, his gray eyes feral. “You’ll pay for that, Peach Fuzz. Sucking up to Merrick won’t save you when he hears about those training sessions you’ve attended. Every one of them was in a hotel hosting a sci-fi conference. You’re one of those geeks who dresses up in costume all weekend, aren’t you?”

  “I went to trainings in those cities, but I also went to the cons.” Frank’s worried gaze darted between Opal and Pete. “You have to believe me. I took leave for those extra days.”

  “I checked your training days and your leave record, Frank. You’re clear for now,” Pete said, moving on. “As a manager, Kurt, you don’t punch a timeclock anymore. Are you shorting the company on your time?”

  “No biggie. Some long lunches, a few personal matters.” Kurt shrugged. “Everyone does it.”

  “No.” Pete glared at Kurt. “Everyone doesn’t do that. All comings and goings are documented on the timestamped security cameras. I pulled those records two days ago. You’ve consistently worked thirty-hour weeks for three months. Are you meeting secretly with Grundle Thurman?”

  “No, I swear, it’s nothing like that. It’s a personal matter.”

  Ann Marie grabbed a spoon and hurled it at Kurt. “You’re seeing someone else? How could you humiliate me like that? You swore you had a class.”

  Kurt ducked in time for the spoon to harmlessly fly past and hit the wall. Oddly, he grinned at her antic. My heart nearly jumped out of my ribs. I looked at Pete, but his expression shuttered. What did I think about this whodunit? Frank may be in the clear. I wasn’t sure about Opal, and I darned sure didn’t trust either Ann Marie or Kurt.

  “Ann Marie covered for him,” Opal said. “She’s an accessory to his criminal acts.”

  “I’m not a criminal. Check my comings and goings if you don’t trust me.” Ann Marie’s forehead wrinkled. “I’ve been working more than a forty-hour week since Pete came on board.”

  “To show Dalbert North how incompetent his partner was,” Kurt said. “You thought I wouldn’t find out you used my identity to introduce errors into our work products. I found the security leaks. Ann Marie, you’re the only one who knows my password. You’re going down for this.”

  Ann Marie’s face flushed three shades of red until she matched her dress. “No, I’m not.” She growled deep in her throat, pulled a handgun from her clutch, and stood.

  Pete leapt to his feet and circled toward me. “Put the gun down, Ann Marie. We can talk this out.”

  The graphite gun barrel commanded my attention. Ann Marie aimed at Kurt who sat beside me. If she changed targets, I could eat a bullet. The cat meowed as I stood and backed away from the table.

  “Take that back, Kurt,” Ann Marie shouted. “You’re quick to blame us, but you’re no prize employee. I saw you at the Corner Café with Robert Grundle last week. The two of you looked quite cozy. I hung around long enough to see you hand him a large manila envelope.” Her shoulders heaved with effort. “You’re the traitor. I’ve got the proof on my cell phone.”

  “Bull.” Kurt reached for her rhinestone-studded phone and dumped it in his full water glass.

  My brows arched at his audacity. He was either cool under fire or a complete lunatic. Either way, I hoped no one got shot.

  * * *

  At the dire turn of events, I leap from the windowsill to the sideboard. If Pete doesn’t get this under control right away, I’ll nix the lights.

  I turn back to the table, and the lady in red has a gun leveled at the tom cat beside River. Pete shouts, “No.” I have to act or River could die. The timing of my attack must be absolutely spot-on.

  I stand on my hind legs and paw at the light switch until it flips down. The lights wink out. I line up between River and Ann Marie and pounce, claws out, on the hand holding the gun.

  * * *

  After Kurt dunked Ann Marie’s phone, I thought sure she’d shoot him. Pete shouted and ran toward me in what seemed like slow motion. The chandelier blinked out. Trouble yowled and flew past me in the sudden darkness. I froze. Ann Marie shrieked. As the gun roared, someone careened into me, knocking me down. I banged my head on the carpet and air rushed from my lungs.

  A woman screamed. The acrid scent of gunpowder filled my head as I wheezed in air. Was I hit? Nothing hurt. I felt my head, my chest. Good as far as I could tell.

  My vision adjusted to the faint candlelight. Pete straddled Ann Marie and looped his tie around her hands. Trouble raced over and licked my face. I drew in a ragged breath. Across the room, Opal tried to assess for bodily harm, but her hands visibly shook. Frank crawled over and wrapped his rangy arm around her. Kurt met my searching look with an icy glare. Why? I’d never done anything to him.

  “It’s safe now,” Pete said. “I have the gun.”

  The others moved first. The lights came on again. My rubbery knees barely functioned, but I stood. “I’d like to go home now.”

  “A few minutes more and this will be over, hon,” Pete said. “First, check Ann Marie for additional weapons.”

  I glanced around to see if he was talking to someone else. He hadn’t called me hon in months. I couldn’t process an endearment on top of his odd request. “Me? I don’t know how to do that.”

  “Pat anyplace covered by her dress and make sure she doesn’t get near her purse,” Kurt said in his deep voice. “No telling how many lethal weapons she’s carrying.”
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  “I’d rather someone else do it,” I said.

  “She’s not touching me. I forbid it.” Ann Marie said. “Her stupid cat scratched me. I’m going to sue you for everything you’ve got.”

  “You’re not suing anyone,” Pete said. “Please, River, a female should do the patting, and Opal isn’t up to it.”

  He was right. Opal looked like she’d run a marathon. She’d aged ten years in five minutes. I watched as Frank rummaged in her slate gray bag and withdrew an inhaler. Opal used it and breathed easier.

  “All right. I’ll do it.”

  I stepped toward Ann Marie, intent on frisking her, but she edged away from me. Trouble darted between her legs, and Ann Marie fell hard on her tailbone. “Ow, ow, that hurts. I’m going to wring that cat’s neck,” she wailed.

  My reservations about touching Ann Marie fled. I patted boobs, thighs, and then her butt when I helped her up off the floor. She sobbed and issued threats the entire time.

  “Nothing extra as far as I can tell,” I said. “What now?”

  “Everyone sit down.” Pete gestured to the table. “We haven’t gotten to the bottom of this yet.”

  I looked at him, really looked at him. His face was pale, his sleeve crimson. “Pete, you’re bleeding. Someone call an ambulance.”

  “It’s nothing. A scratch at best.”

  The only way he could’ve gotten hit by a bullet was if he jumped between me and Ann Marie just before the gun went off. My lungs stilled as I realized that was exactly what he’d done. He took a bullet for me.

  “It’s not nothing. Just a minute and I’ll fix you up.” I dashed into the kitchen, grabbed vodka from the liquor cabinet and two clean dishtowels. I came back, dowsed his minor wound with booze, and then bound it with the towels.