Hard Frost- Depths of Winter

by Thia Mackin

  He shook his head, shifting down. “Tier is divorced now. As far as I know, none of them are even dating.”

  “You?”

  As he downshifted to turn into his driveway, he glanced at me. “You.”

  I grinned but still rolled my eyes heavenward. “Have you ever been married, Ran?”

  “Ah.” The Jeep pulled into the garage, and he cut the engine. “No, I have never been married.”

  He quickly exited and moved to unlock the door into the house. I watched him open it and head toward the tailgate to get the groceries, pondering the precision of his answer. I’d hit a nerve of some sort, and I’d obviously worded my question not-quite-right to figure out which one. Grabbing my crutches, I headed through the utility room and into the kitchen. Hypnos landed on the counter, so I used my arms to pull myself up beside him and waited.

  The utility room door shut, and Rankar entered the kitchen with all of the bags—like any good shopper. Many of them he set on the counter, but a few ended up on the floor by the refrigerator. He moved to the sink to wash his hands, probably planning to separate and marinade the meat, and I realized which word needed revision.

  “Rankar, have you ever been engaged?”

  For a second, he stopped moving, letting the water run over his hands longer than necessary. His back to me, I couldn’t see his expression; I regretted asking, pushing him in a way he’d never pushed me.

  He dried his hands and turned off the faucets, making the room sound too still. Then he faced me, studying me as I’d done him a moment before. In a quiet voice, he finally answered. “I asked a woman to marry me once, a long time ago, and I was honored when she said yes. We’d been engaged for two and a half months when she got sick; she died six weeks before our wedding date.”

  My stomach cramped at the enormity of his loss. This time, I froze. My voice was a whisper, barely louder than the running of the refrigerator. “I’m sorry, Rankar.”

  “For?”

  “Your loss. Asking.” Existing.

  “The first wasn’t your fault, and you shouldn’t apologize for the second.”

  “Okay.”

  He pulled spices from the cabinet and the packs of ribeye from the bag. In some combination of magic and know-how, he mixed stuff in bowls and made the kitchen smell better. I forced myself to sit still and watch until Hypnos crawled into my lap. Finally, I had a way to resist wrapping my arms around myself to quell the unhappiness. Picking him up, I held the drakyn to my chest and ran my hand down his back. The fridge door closed as Rankar placed the bowls of food sorcery into the fridge.

  Hypnos stared at me, and I kept my eyes on him also. When he tilted his head, I took his hint and scratched the newly revealed spot.

  “Kinan, look at me,” Rankar ordered, stepping between my legs.

  Hypnos hissed at him, and Rankar stared at my champion silently. The contest of wills allowed me to compose my expression, which the little dragon likely sensed I needed. As I glanced up, so did Ran.

  His hand touched my knee, and he managed a small smile; it didn’t warm his eyes the way his grins usually did. “I’m serious, Kinan.”

  My return smile didn’t reach my eyes, either. “Okay, Rankar.” No matter whether he thought the apology was earned, I was genuinely sorry on both counts. I should have let it go.

  A few moments passed in silence, and he seemed to be trying to tell me something with his eyes. However, subtlety wasn’t my specialty. Obviously. When his shoulders slumped and he touched his forehead to mine, I knew for certain that I’d missed whatever it was. The pain in my chest increased, and I needed a minute.

  “Would you mind if I grabbed an ice pack and elevated my leg a bit while you do your food prep enchantments in here?” I grinned at him, self-deprecating at my injury and lack of cooking competence.

  “Not at all.” He managed to not sound suspicious at my wanting to do something beneficial for my injury for the first time since he’d met me. Instead, he pulled the ice pack out and handed me my crutches. “Yell if you need me, okay?”

  I set Hypnos on the counter and nodded, sliding off the counter and heading toward the couch in the den. Unfortunately, I had come to need him this past month, and while I wasn’t jealous of his poor fiancée, my anxiety came from not knowing if I should be.

  The knock at the front door startled me. I glanced out the kitchen window and saw Rankar standing at the grill, staring at the open property behind like he wanted to shift and run. Setting down the shredded parmesan I’d been about to shake into the salad, I grabbed my crutches and headed through the den to the front door. Hypnos landed on my shoulder as I paused for a deep breath. “I appreciate your support,” I murmured, honestly just a tad relieved as I unlocked and opened the door. The man standing there holding two Tupperware bowls had an aura of violence and destruction surrounding him. Also, he was not Xander so… “Hello, Kismet. Tiernia. I’m Kinan. Rankar’s on the patio,” I rambled, crutching backward to let them pass.

  “It’s wonderful to meet you, Kinan. We’ve heard so much about you,” Tiernia greeted, hugging me enthusiastically—if awkwardly, due to the crutches.

  The air around her felt a little like Eliecha, and I wondered if she had Gifts similar to the Bhinj clan’s. I grinned at her, remembering Rankar’s compliments earlier. “I’ve only heard good things about you,” I admitted, entirely sincere.

  “We brought potato salad and punch bowl cake,” she continued, shooing her husband forward before he’d even had a break in conversation to say hello. “Potato salad is one of a handful of things Kismet can cook well, and punch bowl cake is mostly fruit, so Rankar will sometimes eat it.”

  I snorted, following them into the den. “If your husband has one thing he can make that people will eat, he’s steps ahead of me. Thank you both.”

  Kismet handed the bowls to Tiernia, and she tiptoed to place a kiss on his jaw. “I’ll just stay in here and help Kinan with whatever she needs to finish up. You go on.”

  When he smiled down at his wife, the aura of violence pulsing around him paused, and its intensity transformed into the love in his expression. The Goddess had obviously placed these two together, and if the fools at the Sirach Sithen couldn’t see that, they deserved Her ill will. “You two hurry out,” he ordered, caressing the back of her neck with his hand.

  Tiernia waited for me to crutch into the kitchen before putting the two bowls into the refrigerator, shifting things around like a professional to make room. “Why don’t you have a seat, Kinan? I’ll finish up the salad.”

  If I sat down on the counter, I’d just start kicking myself for the last conversation I had there. Thinking loudly at him, I sent Hypnos to the top of the fridge before moving to the sink and running water to wash the dishes Rankar had used earlier. Within minutes, Tiernia was by my side, rinsing and drying.

  “Are you okay, Kinan? Do you want to talk about something?” Inches shorter than me and weighing less than a pea, her voice sounded as unassuming as the rest of her.

  I smiled, shifting the crutch. “Rankar didn’t invite you here to do the dishes and clean up the mess. Why don’t you head outside with your husband, and I’ll finish up real quick?”

  She touched my shoulder, briefly. “He asked us to come so we could meet you. I can’t do that from outside if you are in here.”

  Oh, she was delightful. I needed to take lessons. “That’s fair. Let’s both go out.”

  She quickly put away the dishes as though she’d been in the kitchen before and dried her hands. “I’ll grab a couple beers for them. Would you like one?”

  “Just a water.” I also dried my hands to keep them from slipping on the grips. “I’m going to go to the bathroom. Meet you out there.” Pausing, I touched her arm. “Thank you for your help, Tiernia.”

  She grinned before putting the salad into the fridge and pulling out drinks for everyone. When she made no move to leave, I crutched through the den and into the bathroom. As I shut the door, I heard the patio one
open and close. Then I leaned back against the wall and closed my eyes, taking a couple deep breaths. If I wouldn’t have appeared to be a cold-hearted bitch to the people meeting me for the first time, I’d have pulled my center around me. Instead, I practiced a smile in the mirror and opened the door, stepping into a wall of Rankar.

  “Hey,” I murmured as he steadied me, catching one of the crutches before it could hit the ground.

  “Hey. You okay?”

  I laughed, genuinely amused. “I must look truly terrible. Everyone keeps asking me that.”

  His eyes took in the pants I’d worn on date night and the Army of One sleep shirt I’d borrowed. “You look great. They just know I can be stupid sometimes.”

  My amusement vanished. Frustration filled me. Why is he blaming himself for my stepping on a proverbial mine? If I hadn’t pushed… “That’s not true. If anyone here is stupid, it would be me. I have no idea what I’m doing, and I ask idiotic questions about things that are none of my business and bring up painful topics.”

  He wrapped his arms around me, and the crutches fell to the ground as I hugged him back. After the distance—most of which I’d initiated—his touch felt so good. “Kinan, Xander and Faela just arrived and are asking after you, so we don’t have a lot of time right now, but I need you to know… Bridget died a long time ago, more than half my lifetime in the past.” He pulled away, waiting until I looked up into his brown eyes. “You are my present and, I hope, my future. And I want you to properly meet my family now. Once they leave, we’ll talk. Your questions are important to me, and I think I need to answer a few that you haven’t asked.”

  I leaned my forehead against his shoulder, holding him tightly. Covering the sniffle with a cough, I knew he wasn’t fooled when he tensed against me.

  “Hey, I’m going to kick everyone out. Let me carry you to the bedroom, and I’ll be right back, okay?” Shocked, I glanced up. He grimaced and wiped the tears from my cheeks. “Five minutes, okay?”

  “No!” I sniffled again, wishing I could walk backwards three steps like a normal person and grab toilet paper. “We have potato salad and punch bowl cake and salad and hundreds of dollars in groceries. We are going to have a cookout with your brothers and your sisters-in-law—one of which is probably the nicest person I’ve ever met in my entire life and would be super disappointed but ridiculously understanding if we kicked her out.”

  He kissed my forehead before hugging me again. “Okay. But we make them leave earlier than normal, and then we talk about this.”

  I grumbled. “We get along better when we don’t talk.”

  He snorted, picking up my crutches and handing them to me. “That’s the opposite of true. If we’d had this discussion earlier, you wouldn’t have misunderstood the situation so much.” Scooting around me, he grabbed some of the toilet paper I’d coveted and handed it over.

  “Can I have a few minutes? I’ll be out shortly.”

  His smile told me more than any words that I mattered to him. “As I just mentioned, I learned my lesson there. If you want a few minutes, okay, but I’m not leaving you. Our guests will have to occupy themselves.”

  Glaring, I blew my nose and tossed the soiled paper into the garbage can over his shoulder. I moved to the sink to wash my hands and caught a glimpse of my face in the mirror. “I look like I’ve been crying.”

  He shrugged. “And they’ll all know it was my fault.”

  My lip trembled. “Stop saying that.”

  His embrace enfolded me again. “Okay. Okay. Nobody’s fault.”

  I exhaled, noticing both Hypnos and Thanatos hovering in the hallway. They watched as though their little lives depended on the outcome. “We’ve worried the kids,” I tried to joke, rubbing my hands down my pants and stepping back.

  Hypnos cheeped sadly, moving closer tentatively. For the first time, it occurred to me that the blue drakyn had somehow become attached to me, and it genuinely distressed him to think something might be wrong. Sorry, buddy.

  ::Okay now?::

  I projected calm warmth at him, the feeling that touching Rankar so often gave me. His entire posture changed, stronger and straighter. “They’re alright,” Rankar assured, studying each of them. I realized that Hypnos had been talking to me, but I agreed. The reassurance had perked him up.

  With Rankar a step behind, I paused in the den to let him catch the patio door. Xander stood at the grill, beer in one hand and plating foil-wrapped baked potatoes with the other. “Hello, Kinan,” he greeted, his manner as quiet and steady as I remembered. He handed the barbeque tongs to Rankar and moved closer to a beautiful woman with midnight blue eyes. Her auburn hair hung past her waist, so intricately braided that my eyes couldn’t decipher the pattern. “This is my wife and soulmate, Faela Sirach.”

  Leaning on the crutches, I offered my hand as she stood, a couple inches taller than me. “It is a pleasure to meet you.”

  “You too!” She scrutinized my expression for a moment, subtly glancing at Rankar from the corner of her eye. I waited for her to ask if I was okay, but she surprised me. “I promise, if you need me to, I can make him hurt.”

  Moving my hand back to the crutch’s grip, I also used my peripheral vision to look at my lover. Though his posture changed almost imperceptibly at her words, he continued checking the temperatures of the steaks, plating one. “I think I do enough of that,” I murmured.

  Her expression changed from fierce to chagrined between breaths. “Oh, honey, sometimes that is part of it.” Half-hugging me, she guided me to a seat meant to hold two people. Xander already sat on one side, but she didn’t hesitate to urge me down and move my crutches out of the walkway. “I’m just going to go grab the sides. Be right back.”

  I moved to stand to help. “Don’t,” she advised, holding a single finger in my direction. “Once you are fully healed, we would love an extra couple hands. However, we don’t want you too miserable to enjoy our company before we even eat.”

  Her disclaimer eased my conscience, and I nodded agreement, partially because I couldn’t figure out how to carry a bowl without dropping my crutches. Faela shot her husband a look, and he dutifully distracted me by asking how physical therapy was going. Then Faela and Tiernia entered the house together.

  “Karyn says I’m progressing exactly as she expects for a fae with the injury I had.” He grinned at me, an adorable little boy grin. “What?”

  His half-shrug said nothing and everything. “Things must be progressing. She was still Mrs. Sirach last time I saw you.”

  I shook my head at his sass. “When she comes back from this trip, we’re going to try one of your dad’s canes.” The women came out and set the dishes on a long, narrow table against the wall—out of the sun. “My daily endeavor is to follow Asher’s advice from the first time we spoke. Push farther than your mom anticipates but not as far as Rankar fears.”

  Everyone chuckled, though Rankar’s sounded a little more rueful. Xander looked at the center of his back but spoke to me, the tone sounding pointed toward his brother. “You’ve met everyone now except Alika, right?”

  For the second time that day, the mention of their sister caused a feeling of awkwardness to permeate the air. Again, I was missing something.

  “What about Li?” Faela asked, stepping onto the patio ahead of Tiernia.

  “Alika is Faela’s soulsister,” Xander explained. “She introduced us.”

  “What about her?” Faela asked, beginning to sound suspicious.

  Xander stood, walking up to kiss her cheek. “Kinan’s been introduced to everyone except her.”

  “Ran mentioned she did the matchmaking… And I still haven’t met Tier?” I mentioned, uncomfortable with whatever the unspoken issue with Alika was.

  “One rare, two medium-rare, and two medium are good to go. Tiernia, your well-and-truly-dead one is nearly ready,” Rankar teased, handing plates off as people approached.

  Tiernia accepted a medium Rankar handed her and approached me. “What do you
like?”

  I smiled, shrugging off the unease at her sweetness. “A spoonful of everything. Pretty much the only thing I won’t eat is my own cooking.”

  She laughed, touching my shoulder as she passed. By the time she made it through the line, Rankar came over and traded Tiernia a plate with only a well-done cut of meat for the one she’d made for me. He delivered my plate and went to fill his own. Then everyone was seated, couples together. Tiernia sat in Kismet’s lap in a single chair, wrinkling her nose every time he took a bite of his medium steak.

  “When was the last time you saw Eliecha and Triswon?” Xander interrupted the silence of everyone eating.

  For a moment, I tried not to choke on my bite of asparagus. Then I remembered he was their dad’s soulsibling. “Has everyone in your family met them then?”

  Kismet raised his fork, a mostly pink slice of meat stabbed in the tines. “They were guests at our wedding.”

  “I enjoyed talking to Eliecha,” Tiernia cheerfully interjected, playfully pushing his fork away.

  Faela tilted her head at me. “How do you know them?”

  I decided to take the questions chronologically. “I saved Elie’s life. She healed the injuries I incurred doing so, and she and Triswon basically adopted me as one of their strays. And, Xander, the last time I saw them was when I dropped my partner into Triswon’s arms after an intense battle. If Eliecha was not so Gifted, he wouldn’t have made it. She Saw the need for the charm that let me get him there, and he was beyond most healers’ ability.”

  Kismet suddenly looked interested. “What do you do, Kinan?”

  I shrugged. “Whatever needs to be done. Most often, I work long-term security for caravans traveling the Planes—six month to two year contracts. Once in a while, I translate or do minor diplomatic missions. Typically, those last two weeks to three months. They are rarer but pay better. Between jobs, the stable at the Banded Traveler employs me. With their current workload, they are perpetually short-staffed.”